rbs

13 Reasons Why was met with the most backlash I’ve ever seen. I have NEVER seen anybody on this site agree on anything in such a unanimous way that 13rw was bad. And yet it got renewed for a second season.

Then you have The Get Down, a show barely surviving in the first place because Netflix gave it LITTLE TO NO PROMOTION and it isn’t even in the first 3 pages of the “Netflix Originals” scroll list. So many people loved this show, there was so much effort to try and get it to renew but it got cancelled.

I wonder the fuck why.

the thing about “representation” in media is that, even now, it only matters if it’s white representation. white lgbt characters. white independent and strong female characters. white mentally ill characters. just look at shows like stranger things and 13 reasons why, gaining widespread popularity posthaste and a renewal for a second season without even having to try. even shows like sense8 and orange is the new black that claim to be diverse and progressive still have more white characters than characters of color and / or put more focus on their white characters than any others.

you can’t possibly claim race plays no role in this when representation has only ever mattered if the face of it was a white, conventionally attractive character. if that’s not racist, i don’t know what is.

i’m so jealous. i’m so fucking jealous of people who are happy, i’m jealous of people who are confident, i’m jealous of people who have healthy relationships and friendships and lead healthy lives. i’m so jealous of people who are not afraid to express themselves. i’m so jealous of people who confidently work towards their goals until they achieve them. i’m so fucking jealous how life is just so effortless to them and they seem so happy.

meanwhile, to me every single thing is a struggle. what other people don’t even think twice about, to me is a huge challenge. i’m too scared to know myself, let alone be myself. none of my relationships are healthy nor by any stretch of imagination normal. i’m too anxious to do anything about my life, i’m too depressed to get out of bed, i’m too fucked up to do the simplest tasks right. i’m too fucked up to live my life.

and i’m so fucking jealous that these people are happy because they had a healthy childhood. i’m so fucking jealous knowing they have the confidence to be themselves because they weren’t ridiculed and harassed as children by their own parents. i’m so jealous that they can effortlessly make new friends because they’re not plagued by strange anxieties that stem from childhood abuse. i’m so jealous that they can be fucking happy because their childhood wasn’t fucked up. i’m so jealous that it’s not my life. i’m so fucking jealous because my entire fucking life is a fucking mess because from the moment i was born i was treated like shit by my own parents. i’m so fucking jealous that i never got to learn what love and affection was or how to express it. i’m so fucking jealous because i never learnt to love myself. i’m so so fucking jealous because my entire life up to this point has been a fucking pile of shit and it will most likely stay that way just because of what happened to me as a child, because of what could have easily been prevented, and my life is so fucking different and so fucking shitty compared to the lives of people who didn’t go through what i did.

i’m so jealous of people who didn’t go through childhood abuse. i’m so jealous that such a seemingly small detail, something so easily preventable, could have resulted in me being a completely different, happy, healthy and successful person. and instead i’m me.

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m-me ?? a loving fool ??……

mmmm guys i feel so 💖💗💖💘💖💝💝💖💝💖💝💗💘💖💘💖♥️💖♥️💘💕💗💕💗💓💘💓💝💕💝💗💖💝♥️💕💓💓♥️💖♥️💝♥️💖♥️💕♥️