It’s a boy at a grocery store that makes you want to change your life.
It’s shoulders seemingly free of burdens,
It’s the carelessness that you often dream but never can quite paint on your face, not even in your restless sleep,
It’s everything you want to be.
Then you see a razorsharp boy and you see that effortless swipe of a credit card all over again, supermarket lights like a halo.
But you find that this boy is like fire and he destroys, destroys, destroys everything in his path with a smile made for machine guns and it takes you a while to understand how his fire can warm the deepest part of your soul and make vines grow around your bones.
Maybe it’s the way he looks at you with eyes like the edge of a knife,
And when you hear the sound of his laughter-
quiet, private, only for the ones he loves with his whole impossible and reckless heart-
Lovely, beautiful boy.
The boy you love has beautiful hands and every finger is attached to the strings of your heart.
He doesn’t play with it,
But he sometimes moves those blessed parts and it feels like a caress between your lips.
You look at his straight back and the way he holds his head- high, high, high
And you wonder if you dreamt him,
If only you could dream life itself.
You look at the boy you love and you rediscover kindness,
You look at him in the universe of your childhood room and rediscover how your heart can beat not for panic, not for grief,
But for love.