rays text

Seven: come on, bro, I wasn’t that drunk last night

Saeran: really? because you grabbed a pillow, stuffed elizabeth the 3rd in it, and ran around screaming “IT’S A PILLOW! IT’S A PET! IT’S A PILLOW PET!”


Saeran: and you asked your girlfriend if she was single and she said yes

Bill: Hi, I’m B-Bill and I’m afraid o-of the idea t-that my brother’s death m-might be my fault.

Eddie: I’m Eddie and I’m afraid of the leper that lives in the Neibot house.

Stan: Hi, I’m Stanley and I’m afraid of abandonment and the woman in the painting. No, Richie! She’s still not hot, you fucking walnut!

Ben: Hey, I’m Ben and I’m afraid of the headless corpse child I read in a book who died years ago.

Mike: I’m Mike and I’m afraid of the guilt of my parents dying in the burning room next to mine as they hit the door until their hands melted to the bone as they tried to get to me.

Beverly: I’m Beverly and I’m afraid of womanhood because I was sexually abused by my father until I knocked his lights out with the lid of the tank on the toilet in our bathroom. Then I was kidnapped by a clown, but I’m not afraid of It so that part isn’t important.

Richie: Ay! It’s your boy Richie and I’m afraid of clowns but more specifically, a murderous clown who feeds off the fear of children before killing them.

Counselor:Jesus Christ

so, today, holt put his career on the line for a teacher’s-pet detective who’s become more like his daughter. he’s fought for three decades, overcome every obstacle imaginable, for this captaincy by being a good cop. and today, he put it all on the line just so a newly-minted sergeant who is somehow just as determined as he once was wouldn’t have to. these are his kids, and this is his precinct, and the fact that he wasn’t quick enough to work this case sure as hell wasn’t going to stop him from getting his surrogate son out of jail. so instead he was willing to sacrifice everything and derail his own life plan just so that amy wouldn’t have to. 

anyway, catch these fists murphy

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: if hannah montana was an internationally recognized pop superstar, why was miley's only form of disguise a blonde wig? how would the people at her school not recognize her face? if you saw a girl at your school with the face of taylor swift walking around but with black hair, you wouldn't see it and assume it was just a student with her taylor swift's exact facial features, would you??if lorde suddenly dyed her hair blonde she wouldn't become unrecognizable to everyone, right?? and wasn't billy ray famous before she was even born?? ignoring the fact that his only disguise was a moustache, did word not get out in the media that he had a kid??? wouldn't tmz still exist in this world? how did he convince everyone that his daughter was named hannah and not miley??? wouldn't they assume that "hannah montana" was a stage name anyway considering billy ray's last name was stewart?? wasn't billy ray her manager??? didn't he perform with his daughter multiple times??? how was he not recognized???? he was famous enough to have dolly parton be the godmother of his daughter, right????? why is jason earles so creepy????????

richie: alright listen up you little shits
richie: not you eddie, we’re thrilled you’re here