Chapter 36: Who Is She?


“Get yo ass up, I’m taking you some where today. And y'all look sexy in y'all lil’ thongs.” Chris clapped as he woke me, Lani, and Alexis up. We had a bomb ass sleep over last night and I was really tired. 

“Raye your baby daddy’s a pervert.” Lani mumbled, as she tried to get the blanket back from Chris who lifted it off of us. “Chris, get out! I’ll be down in a minute.” I groaned as he nodded and chucked up the deuces before leaving.

Going in the bathroom to do my hygiene routine, the first thing I did was brush my teeth. Once I was done with that, I grabbed my face brush to wash my face. Afterwards, I took a 20 minute shower wondering where Chris was taking me. Must be good cause he woke me up knowing my sleep ain’t nothing to play with. 

Grabbing my robe once I was done, I walked in my room to see Chris talking to Lani and Alexis. This nigga must be bored. “You need a nigga that’s gone put it in ya mouth.” He rapped as he wrapped his arms around both of them. 

Chuckling, I shook my head because they really didn’t look interested. “Chris why do you keep hitting on my friends?” I asked, catching his attention. 

“It’s fun.” He shrugged as he went in my underwear drawer. How did he know where my underwear is? This isn’t even my house, this is the guest room in Bri’s house. “Wear these.” He said, throwing me some black lace VS panties. Shooing him out the room, he went in my closet instead. Great, now I have to find some clothes that’s still in these suitcases. 

Searching in one of my suitcases for some clothes, I just picked some random pieces and put them together because I didn’t know where we were  going. When I was done with my outfit I told Chris he could come out. “Shit, you gonna do something to that hair?” Chris asked as he moved my hair all in my face. 

“No, I don’t feel like it.” I said as I grabbed a black ponytail holder to put my hair in a ponytail so that I could wear a hat. Adding some gold jewelry, I was about ready I just needed some shoes.

As I was looking for my white Nile Huaraches, I accidentally bumped into Chris which cause me to stumble back a little bit. “Why you look so cute? You never look this cute.” He asked as he took a look at my outfit. 

“I don’t know, I’m just in a really good mood today.” I admitted as I danced in place a little. I guess it was because that sleepover from last night. 

“That’s wassup, well bye with y'all fine asses. I’ll see y'all later.” Chris said as he blew kisses to Lani and Alexis. Waving bye to him, I did the same to them as they came to give me a hug and a kiss. I swear we were so close. 

“You gone get in the car?” Chris asked as I stood on the passenger side with my arms folded over my chest.

“You didn’t open my door.” I said as he looked at me like I was crazy. Checking my watch, I stood in the same position as before while I waited for him to open my door. I have all day. 

“Get yo bougi’ ass in this car.” Chris groaned as I shook my head no. Sucking his teeth, he got out of the car and made his way around to the passenger side to open the door for me. Once he did, I had a look of satisfaction of my face while he on the other hand was mugging me. Closing the door behind me, he got back in the car before leaving. 

“Ion’ fuck with these niggas cause they shady.” Chris rapped as Young Dolph’s Preach blasted throughout his car as the LA wind blew through my hair.  Dancing in my seat a little bit, Chris noticed me and started laughing. 

While we pulled up to this new house, my face twisted up in confusion. It looked so damn familiar.. That’s when it hit me, I remember telling Chris that this was my dream house! How does he remember this? I told him this when we were about to graduate. 

“Chris! What are we doing here?” I asked shocked as i hurriedly took off my seat and got out of the car. He chuckled and gave me a small black box. Once I opened it, it was a key to this house. “It’s yours.” He smiled as my eyes widened. He couldn’t be serious. No fucking way! 

“I love you so fucking much!” I yelled in excitement while I jumped on him as he caught me just in time. Hugging him tightly, I kissed him on the cheek and almost melted. He smelled and looked so damn good. Let me stop. 

“Wanna go look inside?” He awkwardly chuckled, scratching the back of his head. Nodding, I ran to the front door and unlocked it with the key that Chris gave me. As we walked in, I was shocked. It looked even nicer than the last time I seen it. I think Chris had a few changes done. 

“Wow, look at the marble floors.” I mumbled falling in love all over again. Then this made me think. How do I repay Chris? “I can’t just accept this Chris, how do I repay you?” I asked as I turned around and he waved me off smiling. Those dimples, lord.

“It’s aight’, Ri was the best present you ever gave me.” He grinned as he held his arms out for me. Falling into them, all I wanted to do was make love to him on this kitchen counter but I know that wasn’t going to happen so I had to recollect myself. “So do I bring my stuff here?” I asked we walked up the steps. 

“That’s what yo friends are for. I was talking to them about that while you was in the shower. I already payed em and everything.” He explained. That’s why he changed the subject when I got out of the shower. 

“You painted Ri’s room? It’s beautiful!” I complimented his work as I examined the walls. One side was a mural of all 3 of us since Ri was always saying that we were her favorite people. It was the same picture we took on Father’s Day. The other walls were just painted in her favorite color (pink) with lots of girly designs on it.

“Go look in your room.” He instructed me as I made a confused face. Leading me to a room that wasn’t that far from Ri’s I fell in love because it was the 2 times bigger than my living room at my old house which was bigger than huge.

“You like?” He asked as he turned my head towards a wall with a mural of me back when I went to Gardena. I remember that day! 


“Why you crying?” Chris asked me as I wiped my tears. Ever since I started dating Chris, the girls at this school always had some slick shit to say and today it really got to me. 

“Those girls again..” I mumbled as Chris sighed as sat me down on his lap before wiping my tears away. “Don’t listen to what them bitches or anybody gotta say about you. You’re beautiful, you know that?” Chris assured me as I shook my head no, looking down. 

Lifting my chin up to face him, he started talking again. “You are beautiful Raye. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, remember that. They don’t see what I see. Baby girl you a star, don’t let em’ tell you you not.” Chris said as I giggled a little bit because he sounded just like J.Cole.
“Show me that pretty smile. That’s what I wanna see.” Chris smiled as he snapped a picture of me.

*Flashback Over* 

“Wow, you remember that day? Exactly what I wore and everything.” I chuckled, still shocked. He nodded and took his keys out of his pocket. 

“Hate to ruin this moment, but I gotta go to the studio with Aug. You wanna come?” He asked as I thought about it. 

“I always start to ask why but I keep forgetting that you’re a producer. You’re goals with all these occupations, but yes I’ll go.” I said as he chuckled while helping me back down the stairs. Once we got back outside, I made sure to lock the door before we got back in Chris’ car.

Gosh why did this man have to be taken?


“Ri, you like you and mommy’s new house?” I asked Amarie as she nodded before looking confused. I couldn’t think of anything nice to do for Raye but while I was driving around I remembered that one day Raye told me she always wanted to stay here if she ever had a kid because it was pretty huge. It was nice, too. I feel good now that I know I made her happy. 

“Your house too, daddy?” Ri asked, getting all excited. Damn, I didn’t wanna let baby girl down by telling her no.

“Nah baby, daddy already has a house.” I said just as she frowned and was about to ask another question. 

“Uh, Amarie lets go look in your room.” Raye said, getting the vibe from the awkwardness. Ri nodded and followed Raye making me sigh. She’ll be okay.

After a long day I was honestly ready to go home and go to bed. It was real awkward at the studio so we ain’t really turnup. While Aug was singing his song Porn Star, him and Raye kept giving each other these awkward ass looks leaving Ri and I confused. 

“How cool is this?” Raye squealed as she came downstairs with my sky walker. Oh shit, I forgot that I was using that shit in here while I was painting. “Let’s go outside, baby.” Raye said as her and Ri walked outside. Surprisingly, Raye got the hang of it. 

Grabbing the keys to the house, as soon as I went outside the cool air hit me in the face. Putting my hands in my pockets I made my way to where Raye and Ri were. “Chris, take me a pic.” Raye said as she threw up west side, causing me to laugh. Trying to be like me. Taking the pic, I put it on Ig forgetting to tag her. I’ll do it later.

fuckyopictures: she actually knows how to use it 🙌

“Raye, get off and let’s go. A nigga sleepy.” I told her as Ri stood in the same position as me. I had my hands in my pants, with the other hand rubbing my eyes because I was sleepy. I swear she acts just like me.


“Oh shit, you made brownies?” I asked Bliss as I tossed my keys on the bed. I could already smell the chocolate smell when I was at the front door. She put white chocolate chips in her brownies, and that made it even better. 

“Why you not sleep?” I asked her as grabbed the brownies that were sitting on the nightstand for me.

“I can’t go to sleep anymore unless you’re here for some reason.” She yawned, lying back on her pillows. 

“Oh, want me to massage your bear paws?” I joked, referring to her feet because they were getting fat but that’s perfectly fine. Chuckling, she threw a ball of paper at me before mumbling a ‘yes’. 

Taking her shoes off for her, I grabbed the baby oil on the nightstand and sat down in front of her, putting her feet on my thigh. She lucky she don’t have no ugly ass feet. “Can you hurry up and st- shit that feels so good.”

“Aw, stop it with the moaning Bliss.” I groaned as I continued to massage her foot as if I was milking it. 

“Mhm, please don’t stop.” She moaned causing me to suck my teeth. This shit didn’t cause for all that. I know it didn’t feel that damn good.

“You doing that shit on purpose.” I said as she tried to hide the smirk on her face but she failed miserably. 

“How do you expect me to hang when you walk around the house in your boxers and no shirt?” She whined 

“Iono’, don’t look.” I suggested as she smacked her lips. I feel her on that, who wouldn’t look? My body is fucking art. 

“Two can play that game.” She smiled as she pushed me away from her feet and gently got out of the bed. Since she was going to take a shower, I just got comfortable in the bed and drifted off to sleep. 

“Just lay back and relax, Daddy.” She smirked before getting up to slowly strip out of her clothes. Once she was done, she bounced on top of me and started placing wet, sloppy kisses on my neck, down to my stomach until she reached the tip of my dick.

She looked up at me with a seductive look, damn she knows what she be doing. Licked her lips, she started to jerk my dick, moving up and down, before placed a wet sloppy kiss on the head and swirling her tongue around the tip, making me hiss a little.

Enjoying the view I folded my hands and place them on the back of my head, leaning backwards to let Her work her magic. “Do it real slow,” I ordered and she followed my command. “Close your eyes and think about how good I make you feel.” Once those words left my mouth she started going ham. She sucked hard before taking all of CJ in her mouth.

She clench her throat around my dick, causing me to squirm. “Fuck,” A moan escaped my lips as my hand fell down by her hair and gripped it. My bottom lips was tucked in. The faster she sucked, the more my moans increase.

Pulling CJ out her mouth, she began jerking me off again but even faster this time. I grunt, groan, moan as my head thrashed my head from side to side as my grip got tighter, knowing that I was about to bust. My dick got fatter in her hand and like the freak she is, she put CJ back into her mouth.

“Shit, move. G-get up rig- Damn bae.” I moaned as she sucked me sloppy. Now my eyes were rolling to the back of my head, as my dick began twitching. I can’t this pleasure no more, is too much but she continued to suck slowly. “Move baby, shit I’m bout to bust.“ I moaned out as she jerked my dick as I spurted into her mouth.

Before I could even gain my energy back, she lower herself into my dick  causing to be backwards, she placed her hand on my knee caps, slowly winding her hips like she was from the islands. She had a set of back dimples, once my thumbs pressed down on then soft moans filled the room.

“Got damn!” I moaned out once she picked herself up and slammed down on my dick, bouncing like a pogo stick.

“D-daddy,” She purred out as I rubbed her clit from behind. She decided to keep bouncing hard causing my dick to grow fatter, had me moaning like a little bitch but that was about to change.

“Im’a show you.” I said, grabbing her waist and picking her up causing her to face forward, slamming her down on my dick, I was planning to fuck her until she couldn’t feel no more.

“Chris… Shit, daddy,” She voiced out as I began to thrusted upward pumping everything I had into her pussy.

“Hmm, you like this shit don’t you?” I questioned curiously, pinching her swollen clit. “I’m the only one that can get you this wet?”

“Yesss,” She purred softly, as I kissed her cheek and her pussy gripped my dick tightly and I was about to cum whether I wanted to or not. “Fuck this pussy daddy,” she bit her lip and rolled her hips.

“Ahhh shit,” I squeezed my eyes tight because of the pressure deep down in my stomach and by the second my dick was getting extra sensitive with each stroke. I feel like I was flying away to cloud nine the way she was grinding.

“Cum for me daddy,” she smirked and leaned her body forward to kiss my lips and to slip her hand under my balls and tickling them softly, causing me to feel a new sensation. I shuddered at her touch and clenched my jaw as my head swelled. My eyes started rolling back and I knew as much I wanted to last, I couldn’t with the way her’ pussy was set up, I can’t pull out because her walls was squeezing tightly.

Her’ pussy was dangerous, that she’ll make a nigga look like a one minute man. I couldn’t help that her shit was always sucking me like a vacuum, and her be wetter than an ocean. “Fucckkkk,” I grunted as the cum shot out of me and deep into her. I slowed down and my body jerked, had me shuddering from the nut I just busted. My eyes were lazily  closed as my chest rose and down. My head fell to the side and I looked up at her, who was staring back at me.

“Dude, what the fuck?” I heard a voice chuckle. Shaking my head, I opened my eyes to see Bliss holding her phone out, with a shocked expression on her face. 

“World star, nigga.” She said, smirking. Looking at her confusingly, I looked down and my hand was in my pants. My pants felt wet as fuck too. 

“Shit, that was that dream I just had.“ 

"You still have wet dreams?” She cackled, slapping her knee. Sucking my teeth, I got up to go to the bathroom. I don’t know who that was in that dream. 

The girl never showed her face.



Waking up next to Kayla, I started to freak out. 

I already knew that I gave into her. I don’t even know why I even bothered to pick her up because I know how she is.

Sighing lightly, I reached over and grabbed my phone off of the nightstand next to my bed before checking the notifications. I had like five missed calls and thirteen text messages from Raye. It wasn’t even half passed one yet.

I knew she would trip if she found out why I left last night. And above everything, it was my ex.

I decided to go to basketball practice today to get my mind off of everything. I don’t really feel guilty but I don’t feel like hearing no shit from Kayla about getting back together just because we fucked.

I knew my coach was gonna cuss me the hell out because I haven’t been going to practice lately but I’m not worried because it ain’t like he’s gonna take me off the team.

I texted Raye back so she won’t blow up my phone for these next few hours.

To: Raye Bae 😘💕💍💗

I woke up in the middle of the night n left babe. But ima ‘bout to go to basketball practice so I’ll hyu afterwards.

Getting off of the bed slowly, I walked over to my closet to change into some basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I decided to put off my shower until after I come out of practice because it seemed logical.

After I got dressed and put on some shoes, I checked to see if Kayla was still asleep and sure enough, she was still knocked out cold.

After we fucked last night, she went ahead and told me that she was about three months pregnant with August’s baby.

Knowing me, I flipped the fuck out. How the hell you gonna tell me you got knocked up right after we had sex? That’s some trifling shit.

But she played ths crying card and I honestly hate seeing females cry so I let it go and forgave her. It ain’t like we can take the shit back anyways.

I just can’t believe her little ass went out and got pregnant by August. Of all niggas.

Maybe things worked out for the better though because if she would’ve still been with me, I might have been the one to get her knocked up and that’s a no no.

The crazy shit about it is, August doesn’t even know. I didn’t even know at first until she told me. Then I really started looking at her stomach and saw the baby bump she had going on there.

I’m gonna take her to see if she can find out the gender or whatever after I get out of basketball practice.

Checking my phone, I had got a text back from Raye saying “ok” so I locked my phone up without replying and headed out the door.

I walked out before locking the door and walking over to my car. I was hungry so I was most likely gonna stop at McDonald’s before I headed over to my school.

I really wanted breakfast but it was too late to get it so I just ordered a Big Mac with large fries and called it a day.

I swear McDonald’s fries are the best to me.

I finished my food in no time and arrived at the school in about fifteen minutes. There wasn’t a lot of cars parked like usual because it was Saturday and only the coaches and people on the basketball team were supposed to be here.

Getting out of my car, I stopped by the trash can first to throw my things away then I went inside through the gym entrance.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Christopher Brown. I almost forgot what you look like.” I heard as soon as I walked through the gym doors.

Chuckling, I replied with, “I missed you too, coach.”

I went inside of the locker room to change my sneakers into the ones I usually keep in my locker. They’re kind of like my lucky sneakers even though I didn’t really need luck.

But I sure as hell wasn’t about to play in some Jordans so they would have to do.

Walking out of the locker room, I heard some whistles and giggling from what sounded like girls. I looked to my left and I was guessing the girls basketball team got a little break in practice so they came to watch the guys show them how it’s done.

I spotted India drinking water at the water fountain and cussed to myself. I forgot her ass played basketball.

Well I didn’t forget but I didn’t expect for her to be here of all places.

It’s like no matter where I go, she’s always gonna be there.

She looked pretty down in the dumps. There were dark circles under her eyes that weren’t normally there, she looked extra skinny for some reason, she looked pale instead of that glowing complexion that she usually had; she was just a mess.

I wanted to ask if she was alright but I didn’t have time to be cussed out again so I just went about my business.

Joining in with my peers in practice, I winked at some of the females that were pointing over to us. I received a giggle from a few of them but an eye roll from India.

Whatever. I’m not about to let her ruin my fun. She can really get the fuck on with that.

Ain’t nobody gonna keep kissing her ass for her to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong but I thought we broke up so it’s really not my fault.

I warmed up for about five minutes before practicing my lay-ups and playing against a few of the other guys on the team. I was sweating like hell because I haven’t done any of this shit in a while and it was honestly a workout. I need to get on my shit.

I mean none of these niggas are better than me but still.

Honestly, I’m even surprised our coaches let us come to practice considering that we both started a riot in the lunchroom by fighting. She’s suspended too. I don’t even think she’s supposed to be here.

But coach seen how she play and knows that India’s one of the strongest female players on the team. You can’t just get rid of us.

“Westbrooks! Step your game up!” I heard the female coach yell. Looking over, I noticed some of the female players were playing a game of one-on-one on the other half of the court instead of watching the guys.

I swear I didn’t even notice that some of them got off of the bleachers. Damn, I’m off my shit.

I continued playing until I was fairly tired. My shirt was drenched in sweat because I put that work in. Heaving as I walked over to the water fountain, I probably drank from there for five minutes straight.

I don’t even like the water. My dumb ass just forgot to pack myself a bottle or two.

By the time I was finished, there was a whole line of niggas panting behind me. I walked into the locker room and took off my shirt before throwing it into a section of my bag where I keep my used clothes after practice.

Getting a towel from one of the shelves in the corner of the room, I stepped into one of the showers before taking off the rest of my clothes.

I usually don’t take showers here but I didn’t feel like waiting until I got home. Plus, I’m probably gonna go see Raye after this.

I took a seven minute shower before hopping out and going back to my locker to get some fresh clothes. There were a couple of other niggas in the locker room but I paid them no mind.

I really hope India ain’t still out there when I leave. Spare me the awkwardness.

Getting dressed, I threw the towel inside of the used towel bin before getting my bag and leaving. Thankfully, the females weren’t there anymore.

“I’ll see you at school coach,” I dapped him up and walked out of the building and over to my car.

I could tell it was gonna be a boring ass day.


“Chris, stop touching me!” Raye pushed my hand away before rolling her eyes and continuing to watch whatever was on the television.

I smacked my lips, “What? You on yo period or something?”

“No,” she looked at me with a disgusted face. I was just asking. “I really don’t like how you just up and left so late last night.”

I smacked my lips again, “I ain’t even do nothin’ though.”

“I don’t know that.”

“I’m telling you right now. Besides, you not even my girl officially to be checking me like that.” I said truthfully. Her neck snapped so damn hard in my direction.

She chuckled bitterly, “Oh, but you expecting me to fuck you right? Alright Chris. We gon’ fuck.”

She climbed on top of me and started to remove my pants but I honestly wasn’t even in the mood anymore. She killed my horny vibe. I pushed her off.

“Man, move Raye.”

She must be hard of hearing because all she did was climb back on top of me and act like I ain’t just say something.

Wrapping her warm mouth around my dick, she started bobbing her head up and down quickly causing me to grunt. I attempted to put my hand on the back of her head but she slapped it away.

I shrugged it off and let her continue what she was doing. I swear Raye gives the sloppiest head and a nigga was loving that shit.

“Fuck Raye.”

As soon as I said that, she stopped sucking my dick and hopped off the bed. What the fuck?

“Where the fuck you going? My dick still hard and wet.” I called out to her but all she did was wave me off and walked into the bathroom. I smacked my lips and started stroking it until she finishes doing whatever she doing.

Fucking teases man.

She stepped out of the bathroom a couple minutes later butt ass naked. I bit my lip causing her to roll her eyes and walk over to me.

“What the hell was you doing?” 

Instead of answering me, she got on the bed and sat directly on my dick. She ain’t have to get used to my size or nothing. Woah, hold up because we haven’t fucked in a couple of days and usually she gotta get used to it first.

I pushed her off of me and my hard on immediately turned soft at the thought of her fucking another nigga.

“Why yo shit so loose Raye?”

She rolled her eyes, “What the fuck are you talking about Chris? Damn, can’t never please you because you always got some shit to say! You never just let shit play out.”

“Don’t give me that shit, your pussy didn’t do shit for my dick right now. So i’ma ask you again. Why yo shit so loose?”

She scoffed, “My pussy ain’t loose. You got me all the way fucked up. Maybe yo dick ain’t big enough.” She retorted knowing damn well that she was lying her ass off because that’s all she be saying when we fuck.

I ain’t even respond to that shit. I just pulled my pants back up and left. 

If I find out she fucking other niggas while she with me, I swear I’m gonna beat her and his ass. I don’t know where the hell she thought she was but I’m not having the shit.

Making sure to slam the door on my way out, I walked to my car heated as fuck and sat down. I punched the steering wheel and without thinking, I called Kayla.

Kayla: Hello?

Me: You still at my house.

Kayla: Duh kid, I got no where else to go lol.

Me: Be ready when I get there because i’ma ‘bout to fuck your brains out.

Before she got to say anything else, I hung up. Two can play that game Raye.


I finished washing the dishes I used to cook for India. Ever since her miscarriage, she’s looked really pale and skinny and I’m worried about her.

She wasn’t even supposed to leave the hospital today but her hardheaded ass told me either I take her home or she walks home without me.

She really needs to stop that shit.

She’s depressed as fuck and all she does is listen to music and play basketball. I literally have to force her to eat or do anything else for that matter.

I understand that this is hurting her but she can’t do this to herself.

What happened isn’t her fault and I’m really upset because she was just starting to get better. She was just starting to talk more again and go places with me without having a stank attitude.

But this shit sent her back a whole other foot.

She looks a mess because she barely sleeps. Marijuana is her life. She’s getting thinner than she already was because she lost her appetite.

It’s a lot to handle for a sixteen year old.

On top of that, I got Marcus coming over so he can tell me what’s up with him.

When we ran into each other at Starbucks, there was no hiding that he could do anymore. He said he didn’t wanna talk about it in public and I respected that but I made him promise to come by and talk.

If he’s gonna keep his word, I have no clue.

I just miss the old him and how things used to be before we had sex. And I’m too afraid to think that that’s why he’s acting so different.

There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he loved me then but now I’m starting to question it.

But India needs me so I haven’t really been able to think about the situation that much.

The doorbell rang, breaking me out of my thoughts.

For some reason, I got excited even thought Marcus and I aren’t on good terms right now. My smile instantly turned into a frown when I opened the door.

“Is India home?” The dude who was nervously standing at my door asked. I nodded.

“INDIA! SOMEONE’S AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!” I yelled before walking back into the kitchen. 

I thought.

She sluggishly came downstairs blasting music. She rolled her eyes at the dude and took one of her headphones out of her ear.

“What do you want Jordan?”

He scratched the back of his head, “Well I guess I just wanted to see you. Just checking on you really. You don’t look like you’re doing too good.”

“Well I’m not if you couldn’t tell already,” she retorted with attitude laced in her voice.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

India hesitated for a really long time. I felt like something in her was telling her to say no but instead, she nodded him over. Closing and locking the door, she guided him upstairs and I heard a door shut.

Usually, I would be completely against her having a nigga with her in her room alone but with the way she’s feeling, I doubt she’s gonna want to do anything.

I’m just really upset that she couldn’t talk to me first.

The doorbell rang again but this time, I didn’t get my hopes up too high. Opening the door, Marcus stood there with his head down. He held it up a little and said “hi” before I let him in the house.

He stepped in with his hands in his pockets. He wouldn’t look at anything but the floor.

“So what’s up?” I said after a couple minutes of silence. I could tell that he wasn’t gonna start the conversation off.

“What you mean?”

“You know what I mean. What’s been up with you lately? Did I do something wrong? Did you only want me for sex–”

“Woah,” he interrupted, “Let’s not forget that you took my virginity too. Don’t come at me like that.”

“Then what’s wrong Marcus?”

He sighed, “Why does there have to be something wrong? Why can’t I just wanna take a break?”

My heart fell at the sound of ‘break’. Why the hell would he need one?

“We were doing so good. Why would you want a break from me?” I thought long and hard and I couldn’t really come up with a legit reason.

“Is it because of another female because–”

He interrupted me again, “Ain’t no other female in my life but you and my mother.”


“Stop yelling,” he replied lowly. I swear that got me heated as fuck. I wanted to slap him right now but that probably would do nothing but him upset. Then we both just gonna be mad.

I took a deep breath, “Baby, I really need you to tell me what’s wrong with you… you love me right?”

“I’m in love with yo ass Crystal,” he said in disbelief that I would even ask him that. I blushed at how offended he was.

“And you know I love you, right?” He nodded his head yes. “That means we should be able to tell each other anything. I’m always gonna be here for you and I really want to because it seems like you’re going through something. I just want to help baby, not do anything that makes your life more difficult.”

He sighed and thought for a long time. I grabbed his hand in mind causing him to look from the floor up to me. Slightly pecking his lips, I waited until he was ready to tell me.

“I don’t think you’ve ever met my dad…” he said, making me look at him confused. What does that have to do with anything?

I shook my head no and waited for him to say something else.

“Well, these past couple of years been crucial for us with him leaving my mom and everything. I don’t think I’ve talked to him in several months but… we were always close.”

He hung his head low, “Last week I found out that, um…” He hesitated. It seemed like it was hard for him to say whatever he was gonna say.

“He has had lung cancer for a long while now… he only have a few months to live.”


I cried and held onto him for dear life.

Not in a million years would I ever think that I would be looking to Jordan for comfort.

I told him EVERYTHING.

Every little detail that happened these passed couple of months, he now knows about it. It felt so good talking and letting everything out.


“Ms. Westbrooks… Did you know that you were almost two months pregnant?” The male doctor asked me with a apologetic look on his face.

Crystal gasped and instantly let go of my hand.

I was pregnant?

“Wait. Were? What do you mean were?”

He sighed, “Unfortunately the baby didn’t make it.” For some reason, my eyes swelled up with tears. I lost a baby I didn’t even know I had.

It could have been months before I found out. The agonizing pain I went through when I got kidnapped by Dez created a life force. And it was taken from me.

I honestly don’t know how I would’ve handled that.

I know I’ve done some things in my past that I’m not proud of but one thing is for certain, I’m not having another abortion.

“India why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant?” Crystal barked at me, most likely thinking that I’ve been out here having sex when I honestly haven’t… Consensually.

“How was I supposed to know? I wasn’t told anything about a child when I came out of that coma. I was told to go home and get rest!”

I really didn’t feel like arguing in front of the doctor. None of this is my fault.

“How did she lose the baby?” Crystal asked, disregarding what I said.

“Well, her uterus was too weak to hold the baby for nine whole months. She held it for as long as she could but eventually, it became too overwhelming causing the bleeding that you two saw. The reason she passed out before she got to the hospital is because of all of the blood she lost which brings me to more devastating news…”

The doctor looked at me and hesitated. The suspense was killing me and it hadn’t even been but a few seconds. I nodded my head letting him know that I was ready to find out what the ‘news’ was.

“Ms. Westbrooks… You will never be able to have children.”

*Flashback ends*

Jordan held me for what seemed like hours on end. I felt so safe in his arms and his cologne embraced my entire body.

I’m only sixteen going on seventeen and I will never be able to have children of my own. That broke my heart.

Although I wasn’t supposed to leave the hospital, I did anyways because I needed to take my mind off of what happened before I did something to myself that I would regret.

I went to basketball practice. Coach didn’t want me playing because I looked “pale and sick” but I didn’t care. I was gonna play whether she liked it or not.

It helped for a while. I let out a lot of frustration on the court.

But this moment with him is what I really needed. My first love holding me in his muscular arms, telling me that everything will be alright. Listening to me cry and vent.

I didn’t want to forgive him but I can’t hold this grudge anymore. It’s gonna make me more unhappy than I already am.

I needed someone to talk to that wasn’t too caught up in their own issues.

He was just there for me and me only.

Kissing me on my forehead, he held onto me tighter like I was gonna slip away from him. In response, I held onto him even more and cried even harder. I’m taking this opportunity to let all my tears out so I can hopefully move on.

Dez ruined my fucking life.

Not only has he damaged me physically but mentally too. 

And I’m sure that even in the pits of hell, he’s still laughing his ass off without a care in the world. He was the definition of real evil. And he liked it.

As a matter of fact, he just might be the devil himself.

And I was about to unknowingly have his baby. It was all so crazy, I didn’t even know how to handle it. I just shut down again and haven’t been talking to anyone.

I’m surprised I even let Jordan in but then again, I’m not.

I knew I wanted to be held and comforted from someone other than my sister and best friend. I love them to death but sometimes I gotta switch it up.

My crying slowly faded into light snores as he continued to hold me tight.


I was waken up by my phone vibrating violently on my nightstand. Oh well, it was the middle of the day. I probably shouldn’t be sleeping.

Looking at the caller ID, it was unknown so I just decided to answer it. I looked over as Jordan rubbed his eyes awake and looked at me.

“Hello?” A familiar voice rang through the phone.

Him: India. Wassup ma? Where ya at?

Me: Get the fuck off my line August.

Him: Damn, afta all this time, ya still don’t fuck wit’ meh.

Me: Nah, I don’t fuck with you. Thank you for helping me by getting everyone to find me when I was kidnapped but I would’ve never been in the shit if it wasn’t for you.

Him: How was I supposed ta know he was gon’ come for ya?

Me: *sighs* You don’t August. But if shit like that happens when a person fucks with you, you just need to be alone.

Him: I’on wanna be alone. I wanna be wit’ you.

Me: Well, I don’t wanna be with you.

Him: So ya just gonna–

Jordan snatched the phone out of my hand and said, “Nigga, my girl said get off her line. She don’t wanna talk to you. She’s with me right now.” He quickly hung up the phone and handed it to me like nothing just happened.

I looked at him surprised. August is gonna be so pissed. He’s gonna have a crew of niggas over here and shit.

“Why’d you do that?” I whined. I really don’t feel like having any more drama in my life right now. Shit is overrated.

“He doesn’t respect you or shit you say. And if he don’t respect you, he don’t need to be talkin’ to you. Plain and simple.”

I honestly didn’t even know how to answer to that because he was right. Anything I say, August does the complete opposite. I don’t even know what possessed him to call me.

I’m really glad Jordan was here because if he wasn’t, I probably would have fell a victim into August’s charm and let him “talk” to me.

I’m still mad that he had the audacity to try and fuck me while he’s with Kayla. He knows I don’t like that bitch and I’ll beat her ass again if I have to. I hope they live happily ever after though because I don’t gotta deal with them.

“Thank you…” I said lowly, looking into Jordan’s eyes.

“Wanna know how you can thank me?”

I nodded yes and hoped he didn’t say no out of line shit to ruin this moment.

“Kiss me.”


“I swear everybody knows that bitch August!”

I almost snapped my neck trying to look at her, “Aye, chill out wit’ that bitch word.”

She waved me off, “Oh please. You call her that shit all the time.”

I thought about it a little and she was slick right. I don’t mean to though, it just slips when I’m mad. If it wasn’t for me, she probably would still be in Dez’s hands and I didn’t get so much as a thank you at first.

I was heated and needed to vent.

“That’s different, don’t be questionin’ meh. I’ma have ta tear that pussy up again.”

She whined, “August!!! You can’t be doing that shit. Chris got mad as fuck at me because he said we ain’t fuck for a minute and my pussy wasn’t tight like normal.”

“Raye, I really don’t give a fuck. Maybe ya shouldn’t be tryin’ ta fuck him a couple hours afta you fucked meh now shut that shit up and come sit on daddeh lap.” I patted my lap causing her to crawl over to me and do as I instructed.

She comfortably laid her head on my chest as I squeezed her ass and scrolled through Instagram.

Seeing a picture India posted, I had to double take because it looked like she was cuddling with some nigga. His face wasn’t fully in the picture but you can definitely tell. That’s probably the same nigga that took the phone from her.

I should get Lo and the crew so we can go fuck some shit up but I’m not gonna be petty… for now.

If India lets another nigga answer the phone for her again, she gonna be in some deep shit with me for real. That shit was mad disrespectful.

She don’t see me letting Kayla or Raye answer the phone for me.

Speaking of Kayla, I don’t know where the fuck she’s been for the passed couple of days. I remembered Raye and decided to call her up and we been chilling here and there.

She won’t answer my calls or texts. I don’t know what the fuck’s up with her now. I swear it’s always something new.

But it’s whatever though.

It’s crazy because both of these females supposed to have belonged to Chris. I don’t know what he’s doing wrong but they ran to me. It’s vice versa with India though.

I’m over it now though because I heard her and Chris don’t even talk anymore. But she just hopped right onto a new nigga that fast.

That’s why I don’t be wanting to deal with these females. 

You see how Raye’s in my bed when she’s supposed to be in Chris’ right?

Ain’t nobody loyal.

Squeezing Raye’s ass, I heard her moan lightly causing my dick to jump. She be trying to start shit. I pushed her up on top of my dick and moved her hips around.

She bit her bottom lip and rolled her hips in the same motion.

My dick was getting harder by the second and I knew she was wet already because she be over here wet for me for no damn reason sometimes. I ain’t complaining though.

She continued to grind on me, letting light moans escape her lips every now and then. I bit my lip as my eyes roamed around her body.

Shit, Kayla would be so pissed if she found out. 

I know this shit foul but I can’t help it. I love me some pussy. I might stop once I get in a relationship with her though. Not fucking around with other people a lot but maybe every now and then.

That’s if I get into a relationship with her because the way she be acting now is a turn off.

It was better when we first started talking and fucking. 

I stopped going out to clubs and getting drunk because I noticed I was hurting her for real and that’s not what I wanted to do. I’m not a really bad person, I just got some bad tendencies.

I’m taking them on one step at a time though. I’m not all the way there yet.

Lifting up Raye’s shirt, her boobs were exposed because she wasn’t wearing no type of bra. She a freak.

I started sucking on them and playing with her nipples, getting them nice and hard. I flipped us over so that I was on top and took off my shirt.

Kissing down from her neck to the waistband of her pants, I unbuttoned them and slid them off before throwing them across the room. I was so ready because me and Kayla haven’t fucked in almost two months.

I took off her pants and just as I expected, she was wet as fuck.

Coming up, I kissed her neck slowly. I pulled my sweats and boxers down a little bit and got my tip wet.

Rubbing it around on my dick, I was about to stick it in but Raye grabbed my arm.

“Wait August, this isn’t right. We’ve already been fucking and I would have a fit if Chris was doing the same.”

“I mean, it already happened and there ain’t nothin’ ya can do ta change it na.” I replied to the bullshit she was giving me. You can’t just turn somebody on and then stop. She gonna give me blue balls.

“I know but I’m not even supposed to be here.”

I pulled up my sweats and my boxers before laying on the other side of her.

“Then get tha fuck out.”

( C O O L K I D S ) ;For sex, drugs, and love in dark places. 


001). Gods and Monsters – Lana Del Raye. 002). Sweater Weather – The Neighbourhood. 003). Buzzcut Season – Lorde. 004). Strong – One Direction. 005). Wicked Games – The Weeknd. 006). Bedroom Hymns – Florence + The Machine. 007). Body Electric – Lana Del Ray. 008). Pink Toes – Childish Gambino. 009). Flawless – The Neighbourhood. 010). Get on your knees – Nicki Minaj.

#dinner is ready @vcease and raymo! Dinner I was supposed to cook 365 days ago: Parmesan baked chicken and baked macaroni n cheese with bacon and cheese it crumbs. Hope you enjoy! I miss and love you guys! #rayness (Taken with instagram)