ray archer

  • Archer:Well, then it's official. The sweater vest is literally good for nothing.
  • Cyril:Hey, you know what?
  • Archer:Besides how to dress like an adult?
  • Cyril:Well, that's... the ONLY thing you do like an adult.
  • Ray:Bu-URN!
  • Archer:Yeah, total burn. I hope I don't start crying later when I'm driving an automobile to or from a bar!
  • Cyril:After having sex with a prostitute.
  • Archer:WHICH IS THE MOST ADULT THING A PERSON COULD POSSIBLY DO!
  • Lana:So, how'd you get the name Crash?
  • Crash:Oh, it's a long story... About me saving the lives of eight other climbers right after an avalanche.
  • Lana and Ray:Sploosh.
  • Crash:Sorry?
  • Lana:Is, I bet, the sound an avalanche makes.
  • Crash:Uh, no, it's more like a freight train full of tornadoes, which are in turn, full of smaller freight trains.
  • Archer:Which are in turn full of shit.
  • Crash:Sorry?
  • Archer:She just had a baby.
  • Lana:Ya know...
  • Ray:I didn't!