ray by beams

what it’s like to live with seasonal depression
right before your peak month

at 7am last morning my body broke into sobs
because i could taste the toothpaste on the roof of my mouth
and knew in a month i won’t be able to anymore

what it’s like to live with four bodies
one for each season

i am a blind woman given sight each year
in echoing rays of sunshine and beaming laughs
in the ability to breathe and speak and eat
as if my limbs move without protest and my poems —
they exist only etched into the redwoods
as if every life movement contains purpose

what it’s like to believe
you can extend your lifeline from june

so i tell myself
every year you get better
but a diary entry from last march reads
“i am being held captive in eternal february”
fourteen times consecutively  
and god only knows what i wrote on the torn-out pages
i burnt into ashes out of shame

what it’s like to count 28 days
while you swallow paper cuts
what it’s like to tell your mother
you need therapy again every year
what it’s like to lose your body
to a page in your calendar

what it’s like:
we eat and we sleep and we try to breathe
we write and we speak and
(we really do try)

and it will swallow me whole

—  for my birthday i would like operative body parts

Greenpeace protesters unfurl ‘resist’ banner near the White House

Greenpeace USA activists scaled a construction crane to unfurl a giant banner reading “Resist” several blocks from the White House Wednesday morning.

Branding acts of protest and dissent as part of a larger “resistance” has become increasingly common in the months since Donald Trump was elected president. The banner is yellow with red rays of stylized sunlight beaming out from the dark horizon.

The 70-by-35-foot banner, 300 feet in the air, appears to dangle above the White House when viewed from the Ellipse of the South Lawn.

See FULL STORY by Michael Walsh/Yahoo News

Photos: (from top) Alex Brandon/AP, Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images, Carolyn Kaster/AP

See more images of Greenpeace protesters unfurling a ‘resist’ banner on Yahoo News

Paranoia ⇝ M

⤷ “Does it look like I want to be stuck with you for the rest of my life?”

Originally posted by jiminiemini

Summary: Because waking up beside the one you have always despised isn’t something that you thought would ever actually happen.

A/N: I wrote half of this after my surgery while being drugged up. I was hesitant on posting it but..well you tell me what you think. xD 

Genre & Warnings: Fluff, humor and  minor angst…I think. Nothing bad really, just implied smut and alotta cursing. ((: {Yoongi x Reader}

Words: 8.9k

You felt the warm sun rays beam through the sheer curtains, lightly hitting your face while you let out a soft grumble. Your body has never been as sore as it was now, and your head was pulsing and you knew exactly from what—a hangover. Your eyes slightly opened, and you looked around the room and realized you had no clue as to where the hell you were.

Your eyes fluttered shut, falling back onto the plushy mattress while grabbing the fluffy blanket and pulling it over your face to cover it from the sunlight. You had no idea what happened last night, but as long as you were still alive, it was all okay. You smiled, thankful that you were actually in a nice hotel room, and as you were slowly falling into the deep depths of slumber, you felt arms wrap around your waist. You smiled, turning in your spot and feeling the arms pull you into a warm, broad chest. You felt like you could sleep peacefully now, and as you dug your face into the chest—you couldn’t be any happier knowing you had extra warmth to provide you in bed.

Wait a minute..


Keep reading

It’s when the sun shines it’s very brightest that I think of you. A happy thought, of course;
Of your smile, your laugh, your beautiful face. And on sunny days your light shines from within me. Those ethereal rays beam forth onto the Earth, and I, like you, look beautiful.

I think that’s love.

—  8/1/17

Rainbow God Rays by Alene Davis 

The Houses as different types of weather:

Gryffindor: wind raging on the ocean on hot days, sun rays beaming down during soccer practice, thunderstorms roaring at midnight on summer evenings, rain falling when swimming in a pool or the ocean.

Hufflepuff: the first warm breeze of spring and the smell of fresh grass and flowers, sunbeams shinning down after a soft rain, soft rainbows covering the sky, light rainstorms on May evenings.

Ravenclaw: the first cool wind of autumn, the smell of fallen leaves right when they are changing colors, the first day to wear a warmer sweater, the sun shining through clouds while raking leaves into piles.

Slytherin: the first frost of the season, wearing a warm coat and mittens after the first snow, the smell of peppermint candy mixed with hot coco and a crackling fire while winds roar with sleet, hidden sun behind winter clouds.

Goodnight Morning Light || Peter Parker x Reader ((drabble))

{summary: lazy mornings spent with your boyfriend}


warnings: none

**I apologize for any grammatical errors since this was all written on my phone. When it’s posted then I’ll make sure to edit it a few more times just in case!**

**dont repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**


The soft rays of sunshine beamed down on your eyes, gently rousing you from your slumber as you stirred in your sleep. With a soft groan, you slowly sit up from bed, feeling a large hand slide down from your stomach to your waist.

“Oh?” You trail your gaze downward, seeing your boyfriend in a deep sleep. His sweet brown eyes were still hidden beneath his pale eyelids, and you watch as they trembled, evidence of his dreams.

Even while he slept, Peter managed to keep his arms around you.

With a smile on your face, you admire your beloved’s features, completely in awe that such a beautiful and extraordinary boy could belong to someone like you. You were so ordinary compared to him, and you were grateful that he had somehow (miraculously) fallen in love with you.

Being careful with your movements, you gently lean down to brush the stray strands of hair away from his forehead, placing a kiss against his skin while softly murmuring, “I wonder if you ever dream about me?”

Using your lips to gently trace at his eyebrows, you felt his two arms suddenly wrap themselves around you, securing you against him as you laughed, “Petey, what the hell? You caught me off guard!”

Peter draws you closer so that he could press a kiss against the base of your throat, the caress tickling you as your laughter refused so subside, “Spider-boy, honestly stop. You’re tickling me too much!”

He lets out a grunt before nipping at your skin, “It’s Spider-Man, and to answer your question…” Peter leans up, giving you a chaste kiss while admitting with his lips pressed against yours, “I’m always dreaming about you.”

Your grin was wide when you playfully pulled at his cheek, earning another grunt from him when he suddenly forces you back down in bed with him. With your head resting against his pillow, you inch closer to him to nuzzle his chest. Letting out a content sigh, you softly ask him, “Petey, can we spend a lazy day in bed?”

“That was honestly the plan, babe.” Peter yawns against his pillow, curling up his body while holding you close to his chest. “It’s too early to wake up, and I like using you as a blanket.”

With a sleepy smile, you hid your face within Peter’s shoulder, not minding his plans of napping the day away. Still taking cover from the sunlight by burying your face against him, you yawn while muttering, “Goodnight morning light.”


Originally posted by gryffinclaw-in-wilde-times

Green’s My Color (Alexander Hamilton x Reader)

Prompt: “modern au college ham fic?”

Summary: Alex’s work gets in the way of his well being. Reader’s well being gets in the way of Alex’s state of mind.

Word Count: 1,029 (how did I manage this)

Author’s Note: EXAMS ARE OVER! Also, I am mentally checked out for the moment, and I did not proofread this. At all. Maybe I’ll get back into the swing of things. Maybe. (ALSO: read part 2 of this fic here! (I’m not saying you’re going to want to, but the option is there.))

Warnings: Cursing.

It was about time that the sun showed its face. Clouds overcame the sky for weeks on end, leaving the entire campus - no, the entire town - in an everlasting dismal shadow. Even when you would make your way to the nearby shopping center on the weekends, your shadow refused to venture no further than the spot where he has always hid. When you woke up on a Saturday morning with beaming rays of sun illuminating your bed-head, you planned to take advantage of it.

College was taking a toll on you. Emotionally, mentally, and worst of all, physically. Not only was the lack of an on-campus gym detrimental to your once-robust figure, but also your self-confidence. Trust your mom when she tells you to stay active, even in college. Freshman fifteen is not a myth. You were well aware of this fact.

The sun was your motivation, so when it finally came out from hiding, you basked in its balmy goodness. After waking up quickly and smoothly (you were a morning person when the weather was in your favor), you changed into your overpriced lululemon sports bra and favorite leggings you found on a sale rack last weekend at the shopping center. Luckily, you still had your yoga mat shoved away in a closet, even despite its prolonged vacation in the land of sweatpants and oversized t-shirts. Yoga: the one thing in life that made you feel most at peace. The best remedy for a holiday spent with the family. With motivation in your mind and a ratty mat in your hand, you head off to the common place of campus where anyone and everyone gathered to do whatever they pleased.

Needless to say, it was packed. Everyone took advantage of the seemingly first pleasant day in what felt like forever. You picked a spot to spread out your mat and got started. Downward dog really helped kick those knots that always reminded you that they were there, usually after a three hour lecture in class. After some more poses, you had worked up quite a sweat and were feeling the burn. The feeling was long overdue; you didn’t realize how much you craved something as relaxing as this. Once you felt you had a sufficient amount of time with your mat, you finished with a ‘child’s pose,’ rolled up your mat, and head off to the local campus Starbucks.

You dropped off your mat at the front of the coffee shop, creating a mental reminder to remember it on your way out. A bottle of ‘Green Machine’ Naked juice was calling your name. The cashier rung you up and you head off to a table by the window. Though you had your phone in your sports bra, you decided to people watch instead. Surprisingly, the taste of mango in your drink really popped. In the midst of your mango enjoyment, your chair was yanked back a few inches, causing you to spill your juice all over yourself.

“Fucking hell,” you mumbled, looking behind your chair to see who had sabotaged your wonderful day.

You caught a glimpse of a guy with a bun and a laptop sitting in front of him. He had a hand over his mouth, and judging by his muffled noises and crinkled eyes, he seemed to be laughing. Honestly, if a girl in a sports bra with green juice all over her chest looked at you, you would be laughing too. But at the time, you didn’t find the situation very comical.

You shot the man a deeply sarcastic smile, adding, “Is this a fucking joke to you?”

He cleared his throat. “Of course not,” he squeaked as he let out a subtle giggle. “Obviously it was unintentional, I just tugged on the cord to my laptop and it caught on your chair leg. No harm done,” he stated.

Your mouth stiffened. You also flipped him the bird as you dramatically threw yourself out of your chair, purposefully slamming it into bun guy’s table. Three of his Red Bull cans toppled over.

The restroom had enough temporary accommodations for your situation, thankfully. You were able to rid of most of your drink from your skin, but your previously white sports bra was now the shade of fresh baby barf. A deep, aggravated sigh escaped your body.

While a tense gait, you strode over to your table and prepared a wad of napkins to clean up your mess. To your surprise, bun guy was already on the job. In fact, he was on his hands and knees wiping up the floor. A chuckle you were trying to withhold escaped from your chest.

The guy turned around. “You’re welcome,” he muttered.

You scoffed at him. “You’re the one who caused the mess,” you stated.

“Did not,” he grumbled.

You rolled your eyes, sitting back down at your table, but on the opposite side of the guy. Your eyes flicked to the table at which he previously sat. “If you keep adding onto that collection of Red Bulls over there, you could possibly overdose.”

“Thanks for the health advice, Mom,” he said as he finished cleaning the mess.

To that you stood, sighed, and slapped bun guy on the back. “Keep up the douchebaggery, bun guy,” you stated as you walked over to pick up your mat.

“Wait,” the guy peeped up as you put a hand on the door. “My name’s Alexander. I truly am sorry for screwing over your morning. My writing sometimes gets in the way of my thought process,” he says as he scratches the back of his neck. “I’d like to make up for it if you wouldn’t mind. Plus, I’ve never heard someone use the word ‘douchebaggery’ before. That was cool,” he proclaimed with a half-smile across his face.

Lord, even when he wasn’t trying his eyes constantly smiled.

You sauntered up to him, stating, “You’re lucky green is my color. I’ll see you at the Italian restaurant two blocks down tomorrow at seven. I’m Y/N, in the case that you were curious,” you winked before you head out the door.

Who knew calling a guy a douche would land you a date?

Sometimes A Fantasy

Bullets Frank x Reader x Gerard Smut

Warnings: kinky shit, swearing, borderline abusive kinks, and uh… Smut?

Looking up at the place, it seemed a bit shadier than you would’ve liked. Climbing the steps to the studio, you let out a small breath of relief as you realized you could hear familiar music, something somewhere that your boyfriend Frank would love.

Following the noise, you soon bumped into Ray, who gave you a grin. He gave you an awkward side-hug, informing you that Frank was in the next room over before you could even ask.

“Thanks, Ray!” You beamed, dashing into the next room and sucking in a breath as you opened the door, finding 3 guys sitting around, watching the drummer play on inside the recording room.

“Y/n!” Frank grinned, motioning you over to the couch, where you gladly took a seat in the lap he offered.

Twirling a finger around his matted dreadlocks, you scrunched your nose, giggling. “Jeez, you need a fucking haircut.”

Frank rolled his eyes and bounced his knees so you nearly fell off, your arms clutching desperately around his neck. His eyes danced with pleasure as he wrapped his arms tighter around your waist, kissing you on the cheek.

“Babe, have you met Gerard yet?” He asked, nodding towards a guy sitting across from you, glancing up from a book in which he was scribbling something.

“Um, no, I don’t believe we’ve met.” You said, a slight smile tugging at your lips as you gave a small wave.
“Very nice to finally meet you, Gerard. I’ve heard nothing but great things.” You breathed, watching him blush slightly.

“Well, thanks… Um, y/n, right?”

“Mmmhmm. It’s amazing we haven’t met before… Maybe Frankie’s just afraid you’ll steal me away.” You laughed lightly, biting at your lip softly as Frank glared up at you.

“Ready for tomorrow night?” You whispered lowly, brushing a few dreads away from his ear to kiss the skin below. “I’ll have a little surprise.” You smirked against the skin of his neck, letting out a heavy breath, making him shiver.

“My place?” His gaze met yours lustfully as you pulled back, winking and nodding yes.

“I’ve gotta go, just wanted to stop and tease before my shift.” You sighed, pecking him on the lips. “I’ll call you.” You smiled, kissing him lightly again only to be pulled into one much deeper than expected, catching you off-guard as you smiled.

“Shit, Frank, I have to leave!” You giggled, meeting his lips once more before he relented.

“Fine, I guess. I’ll be waiting.” He smirked, watching as you slipped away.

“Really nice meeting you, Gerard! Hope I get to see more of you.” You hummed, winking playfully as you left the room, wiggling your brows at Frank as he lit up a cigarette, breathing smoke at your departure- eyes, now colder, following as you left.


Knocking on Frank’s apartment door, you gripped at the skirt of your tight black dress, making sure it covered your ass.

Reflecting on his phone call from earlier in the day, you wondered what he meant when he had a few surprises.

“Hey, babe.” He smirked, opening the door to reveal his first surprise.

“Dear lord! It’s clean! So wonderful!” You praised, running your fingers over his fresh haircut, the dreads completely gone.

“Yeah yeah, big deal.” He scoffed, bringing you in close for a heated kiss, pressing you against the apartment door as you hummed softly.

“I really thought we’d make it through dinner, too…”

His glimmering hazel eyes met yours as he pulled away, wordlessly leading you to the kitchen. There he gathered drinks for the two of you while you sat and waited.

“So… What do you think of Gerard?” He mused casually, giving you a wink.

“Ahhh, yes. What a sexpot.” You replied breathlessly, nearly faking orgasm- seeing how far your showmanship could go.

“No, no, really. I’m serious.” He added, handing you your drink.

“I mean, he seems nice. A bit… Awkward, but nice.” Taking a sip of your drink, you nearly gagged. “Shit, Frank- this is all Jack and no Coke!” You sputtered out.

“Shhh, it’s all good. Anything goes with pizza.” He smiled, taking a bite out of the slice before continuing his line of questioning. “So, in the looks department- how’s Gerard?”

“Scoring better than you with dreads.” You smiled sweetly, nipping at the slice of pizza. “He’s a cutie, I must say.”

“Would you… Y'know… Fuck him?”

“Jesus tits, why ask me that?” You nearly choked, scoffing.

“Because he thinks you’re some sort of goddess among us. He’s really attracted to you.”

“Well, Frank, I hope you feel the same.” You teased.

“Honey, that doesn’t answer the question. Wanna fuck him?”

“Shit, Frank, I don’t even know him! Why the hell ask me that?”

Frank suddenly blew out a deep breath, sighing as he pulled air back in, his eyes meeting yours with no sign of deviance.

“Listen…” His voice dropped low as he leaned in, as if to tell you a secret. “Gerard… He’s still… Y'know… Unsure how to please a girl.”

“And?” You interjected, unsure where this would go.

“And so, I was kinda wondering if you’d wanna help. I feel kinda bad for him. He won’t… Won’t go out there to meet girls.”

“But Frankie, how can I help?” You whined softly, waiting for the point.

“Well… If you’re open to it… I was thinking maybe… You could have him for a night? Or maybe a threesome?” He asked anxiously, his eyes showing complete seriousness.

“Frank…” You gasped softly, completely blanking on how to reply.

“Y/n, look, I know it’s not exactly normal, but… I don’t know… Being able to see your whole body when you’re keening with pleasure… It turns me on.” He chuckled softly, staring at his slice of half-eaten pizza.

“I mean… If you’re there, and comfortable with it- I don’t know how many times I’ll be offered this… I’ll do it if you want, Frankie.” You cooed softly, twining your fingers in his above the table.

“Well, uh-” Frank gave a half-hearted grin, teasing his bottom lip with his teeth “he’s kind of already in the bedroom.” He chuckled, daring to meet your eyes.

“You shithead!” You laughed lightly, giving his arm a light slap. “What would you have done if I said no?”

“There was a plan for that, yeah. But we’re not going to worry about that, are we?” He smirked, his foot gliding along your stockings under the table, pushing at the hem of the skirt on your dress.

You batted him away lightly and rose from the table, heading off towards the bedroom.

“Feel free to join us, Frankie!” You teased, tossing the name over your shoulder as you slipped into the bedroom.

Before you, Gerard sat on the edge of the bed in the dim lamplight, eyes looking towards you wildly at your sudden entrance.

“Listen, y-you don’t have to do anythi-” he mumbled, quickly cut off as you stalked over to him, kicking your kitten heels away.

Cupping his jaw lightly, you smiled. “I’m happy to help.”

Before he could manage another word, your lips were on his, starting a series of heated open-mouthed kisses. Your tongues somehow tangled in the mix as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his lap.

Smiling slightly as you moved your lips, you could feel his confidence give a little surge. Pulling back for air, you gave him a little smirk, fingers ghosting over the skin on his neck. “No problem there.” You hummed.

“I doubt tha-”

Pressing your lips to his once more, you could feel his heart leap to his throat, settling in once more as you indulged in the pleasure.

Slipping a hand away, you tugged the zipper on the back of your dress down slowly, stopping when your hand brushed against his, smiling against his lips. “Go on.”

The intensity of the kiss surged as you felt him slowly tug on the zipper, picking up on your obvious hint.

Dragging your fingertips to his shoulders, you pushed lightly, pressing him back onto the unmade bed. You could see his eyes glimmer in awe as you slipped the dress off, still in thigh-highs with matching lingerie.

“Y/n… You- You’re perfect.” He breathed, a small blush creeping across your face.

“Lies, but I appreciate the sentiment. You really know how to make a girl feel good.” You stalked toward him with a smile on your face, crawling onto the bed with a leg on either side of his body.

Bending over so your chests brushed against each other, you watched in amusement as his eyes were drawn to your cleavage.

“You can touch if you want. I’m not an artifact.” You laughed lightly, feeling his fingers ghost over the small of your back.

“You’re just… Just so beautiful.” He whispered, a small smile appearing on his face. Leaning down a bit more, you began to press soft kisses to his neck, trailing along the line of his jaw- roaming up to his cheek and down to his lips once more. You could feel how eager he was, his arms wrapping completely around your waist to keep you in, locked in the embrace.

“Gerard… Sweetheart…” You whispered, letting your words fall between kisses before he let you pull away. “You can, y'know, take your shirt or pants or whatever off… You’ve got me at a bit of a disadvantage here.” You breathed, gesturing at the difference between the amount of clothing the two of you were wearing.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” He apologized quickly, letting you move as he stood, stripping off his hoodie and quickly undoing his belt, fumbling with the buckle nervously before stepping out of the material.

Standing up from the bed, you watched Gerard toe his socks off, blushing when he couldn’t quite get them, having to reach down. Slipping your fingers back, you released the clasp on your bra, letting it slip away to the floor.

“Gerard?” You hummed, watching as his head picked up from searching his discarded pants for a condom, turning out the pockets.

He rose slowly, the package finally is his hand, eyes roaming your body freely, in the most wonderful way. “Y/n,” he let out a small gasp, giving you a shy smile, “you’re just… You’re so gorgeous.”

Setting the protection on the bedside table, you slipped in front of Gerard, fingertips gliding over his chest and encircling his neck.

“Isn’t this better?” You hummed, placing kisses at the nape of his neck and along his collarbones as he nodded, breathing out a soft ‘yes.’

The feeling of your skin together was nearly electric as your lips met, chests pressing against each other, the feeling of the bare skin together being so completely intimate. However, feeling his erection straining at his boxers pressed up against your abdomen, you really realized exactly how intimate it was.

“Are you ready, Gerard?” You murmured softly, grazing your lips over his, the feeling tantalizing as he shuddered under your gentle touch.

“Sh-Shouldn’t we wait for Frank for… Permission or something?” He asked nervously, heart pounding as your hands slid to his chest.

“Who cares?” You replied, smirking at him as you shot up to meet his lips.

Cutting off any remarks he might make, the two of you managed to collapse on the bed, tangled in each other as you embraced, hot kisses pressed all over each other’s skin. Skimming your hand down his body, you were able to reach over Gerard’s boxers, curling your hand slightly as you rubbed, intensifying his erection.

“Y/n, shit… Could you, um… Well, I wanna last.” He blushed, grabbing your wrist and pulling it up to his hip.

“Well, are you ready now?” Tugging at your bottom lip, you broke into a grin as he shakily nodded yes.

Adjusting yourself, you found your head to the pillows, watching Gerard slip off the bed. Tugging your lace bottoms down, you rolled off your thigh-highs, sighing as you tossed them to the floor. In that time, Gerard had rolled on the condom, his boxers joining the plethora of clothes on the floor.

“Would you like me to, um-” Gerard cleared his throat as he climbed onto the bed.

“All I want you to do right now is get on top of me… I wanna feel you so bad, baby.” You moaned softly.

He quickly complied, kneeling between your legs as he pushed your thighs further apart, a hand resting on your hip as he aligned himself.

“So wet, y/n…” He groaned softly, teasing your entrance as you squirmed.

“All for you, Gerard.” You smirked, gasping as he plunged in, his entire body shifting so he could rest on his forearms, giving you a moment to collect yourself.

Whimpering softly, you lifted your hips to help him get a better angle, legs wrapping around him as he managed to move deeper, hips rocking slowly to meet yours.

He leant down to leave sloppy kisses along your neck, moving a bit faster as you moaned. “Fuck… Oh, shit- you feel so good, Gee”
Tilting your head back into the plush surface beneath you, you squeezed your eyes shut, whining desperately for more friction.

Frank’s POV

I clutched the can in my hand, watching her slip away. I never thought she would agree… How the fuck could she?

'Maybe she and Gee’ll just talk in there for a while… They won’t actually do it….’ I thought, slamming down the rest of my drink, grabbing a new, cold one from the fridge, fingers turning to ice as I clutched at the can, taking a swig. 'Maybe I’ll pop in in 15 minutes… Just in case.’

Plopping down on the couch, switching on the TV, my mind wandered. Each sip of beer tasting more bitter, going through 3 cans until I couldn’t stand it anymore. Something had to be going on…

Silently, I turned the knob, happy it didn’t squeak as I peeked in, taking in the scene.

I could feel my heart hammer in my throat as my gaze trailed from the lingerie on the floor to the bed, watching her. Watching him. They were actually fucking.

'God, does she really look this good when I fuck her?’ I thought, biting down on my lip, trying to keep soft gasps in as I heard her… She was begging for more, the sheer desperation in her voice sending shockwaves through my body. Her hair was a mess, spread out on the pillow beneath her, her lips parted and glossy.

His back was red, her fingernails raking the skin as he moved, his pace much faster than I would’ve thought. Her eyes were fluttering now, squeezing shut as her jaw dropped completely… I should be the one making her feel that good

“Oh, fuck! Yes, Gerard, just like that!” She squealed, her hips bucking up of their own accord.

Oh god… I couldn’t take it anymore… She looked so fucking good… Her strangled moans and gasps were like music…

Taking my hand off the knob, I quietly stripped down, tearing off my shirt and jeans, placing them at the end of the hall, slipping softly into the bedroom, closing the door, endlessly thankful they didn’t notice.

Sitting in the armchair in the corner, the view wasn’t exactly spectacular, but my God, the noises she made…

Pushing down my boxers slightly, I was able to draw my cock out, knowing I was half erect already. In the dim light, I could easily see the glistening head, knowing it was all because of her.

Curling my fingers around slowly, I squeezed my eyes shut, hearing her swear as I applied a light pressure, feeling a small stream of precum dribble onto my fingers, holding back moans as I set at it, squeezing my eyes shut as I could hear their noises, plucking out hers as she swore softly, melting into a moaning mess.

I could feel myself grow harder beneath my touch, thinking of how I could ravage her after this, put her on all fours and really let her know which one of us can do it better, how she would squeal and moan my name, a soft “Frankie” falling from her lips before she completely fell.

Beyond the fantasies, I could hear Gerard apologizing softly as the noise ceased.

Normal POV

“Shit…” Gerard swore softly, his hips stalling and taking on a much slower pace than before. “I’m… I’m fucking spent.” He managed, your legs slipping away from his body and collapsing into the sheets as he pulled out. “Sorry…”

Rolling to the side of the bed, Gerard faced away from you as he rolled the condom off, tossing it away.

“It’s okay, Gerard, really, I-”

“Need some help, babe?”

Your eyes flicked over to see Frank coming towards you, boxers on yet barely covering his erection. Waltzing over to the bedside table on his side, grabbing a condom, he used it to replace his underwear as a covering, the plaid material dropping to the floor as he rolled the rubber on.

“S-shit, Frank… How long have you been there?” You asked, gaze anxiously flicking to Gerard, whose eyes were wild and fearful.

“Long enough, Baby. Now please…. On your hands and knees.” He ordered cooly, watching as you did so. Gerard was on the other side of the bed, searching the floor for his underwear.

“Actually… I change my mind, Sweetheart. Chest down, on the edge of the bed.”

Unsure what he meant completely, you simply lay face down, his fingers wrapping around your ankles as he dragged them off the bed. Your knees were nearly at the edge of the bed now, thighs bent slightly, ass sticking out, just as Frank wanted. You could feel his hands at your hips, your body shivering, his cock barely teasing you.

Giving a pert spank to your ass, you could hear him chuckle a bit devilishly, “Hips angled a bit up please.”

Doing as he wished, you gathered all the bedsheets you could manage, holding on tightly, chest pressed to the bed before looking to Gerard with semi-scared eyes.

That, however, was short-lived once Frank plunged in. Letting out a soft scream, your eyes squeezed themselves shut and you could feel his rhythm begin, just fast enough to pleasure and slow enough to tease.

Picking up his pace, Frank lay a heavy hand to your ass every now and then, the stinging sensation somehow only adding to the pleasure.

“Fuckin’ tight as ever, baby.” Frank groaned, pushing in especially deep and laying on a hard spank. He praised the moans you made as you gripped the sheets, trying to stay still, knowing you were close to release.

You could feel your legs quiver now, panting hard as Frank rammed into you, cursing softly, his fingers digging into your hips.

“Oh…. Oh, shit, Gerard…” You moaned softly, only realizing your mistake after you felt your orgasm hit, feeling the waves of pleasure wash over.

“What the FUCK did you just say?” Frank cursed, nearly growling as he hit you harder- complete pain, fucking you at a truly ferocious pace. He bent over you, clawing at your bare shoulders, hammering into you deeper than ever before.

“Sh-shit, Frankie…. I can’t-”

“Who makes you feel this good, honey?” He panted, thrusting deep as you moaned. He was struggling to keep up his pace, knowing he’d finish soon.

“You, Frank… Oh- Fuck, it’s always you!”

The desperate squeal you let out eased his way, the beatings on your sore bottom stopping as he worked inside your overly-sensitive core.

Letting out a few ragged breaths and a soft 'fuck’, you knew he was done. His hips rocked at the slowest pace possible, knowing his knees were growing weak before he finally stilled, pulling out and collapsing on the bed beside you.

When your eyes could finally open from the haze, you could see Gerard, an unreadable expression on his face. His hazel eyes were shining with something akin to curiosity, and he had found his underwear again.

“Gerard, come 'ere?” You prompted softly, patting the part of the bed that a recovering Frank was on.

He obliged, lying down next to you, a hot palm reaching up to his cheek. Wordlessly, you pressed your lips to his, a soft and delicate kiss coming between you.

As the moments lingered, you could feel your lips tingling, the taste of Gerard melting softly on your tongue.

Soon enough, you could hear Frank move, also finding something to cover his lower half with before spooning you, pressing directly against your back. You found yourself sandwiched, Gerard’s chest pressed to yours and Frank’s chest firmly against your back.

You could feel Frank’s teasing kisses on your neck as you giggled softly, continuing to linger in the moments with Gerard. Feeling Frank’s fingers slip down your body to your sensitive clit, however, you had to let out a sharp gasp, feeling your legs quiver.

“Mmm… Like that, baby?” Frank mumbled, dotting kisses to your skin. “Or maybe… Gerard should do the honors?”

The words made you quiver, heart speeding up and giving away your answer to both men around you as you gave a soft whine.

“Shit, baby, why didn’t you just say so?” Frank laughed lightly, throwing an arm around you, dragging you away from Gerard. Lying on your back, your gaze flicked from Gerard to Frank and back. They were just staring at each other, undetectable emotions crossing their face.

“You heard her.” Frank breathed, raising a brow to Gerard, not shifting his gaze until Gerard moved from the bed, allowing you to prop your head up on the pillows.

Frank found his way to your side, fingers ghosting over your breasts, semi-glazed eyes watching his hands. Gerard had settled between your spread legs and had two fingers teasing your entrance, shuddering at his touch. Frank managed to capture his lips in yours, swallowing your surprised squeaks as you felt Gerard’s tongue lap softly at your clit. You could taste alcohol on his tongue, a disappointing bitter contrast to the sweet taste of Gerard.

Frank’s nails dug into the skin of each breast, the kiss with him becoming heated. You could feel your hips roll as Gerard plunged a couple fingers in, his other hand desperately trying to pin you down.

Your legs quivered as you felt his breathing on your clit, adding another finger as you moaned, trying to swear. Frank managed to muffle any sound you made, including the near-scream you made when Gerard managed to hit exactly the right spot, your orgasm barreling down on you as he continued to hit it, his tongue wiggling on your clit.

The sensation was unreal, and you felt yourself moaning his name into Frank’s mouth, a mistake. Frank’s hand was at your throat in an instant, cutting off air as you panted into his open mouth, looking into his firey eyes hazily as you hit your orgasm.

The sensation hit you like nothing you’d ever experienced, feeling the complete pleasure roll through you, head woozy from the lack of oxygen. Frank’s mouth was now at your jawline, creating hickies, marking you as his own, though Gerard’s name managed to fall from your lips softly as he moved his fingers slowly, dragging out your happiness.

This was all it took for Frank to become completely out of it, his grip on your throat tightening. The love-bites at your jawline ceased, and you could see the betrayal flame in his eyes before you felt him slap you across the face- a record of three times before Gerard could react, shoving him off the bed.

“S-Shit, y/n, are you okay?” Gerard whispered softly, gently caressing your wounded cheek as you sucked in air, tears rolling from your eyes of their own accord. Gerard pulled you into his arms, watching Frank storm from the room with fearful eyes as you tucked your legs underneath you, trying to regain your breath.

“Shhh, Shhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I got you.” He cooed gently, rubbing comforting circles on your back.

“I- I’ve never seen him like this, Gerard… Never.” You breathed, looking to him with fearful eyes before looking to the doorway where Frank suddenly appeared.

You could see what looked like tears on his face, hands running through his hair.

“Fuck… Fuck, y/n, Baby, I’m so so sorry…. Shit.” He choked out, kneeling bedside while you sat, curled in Gerard’s arms.

You could clearly see his tears now, one on each cheek. His eyes were wide and pleading, begging for forgiveness.

“Sober up, and we’ll see.” You sighed, getting up and putting your clothes back on, leaving with Gerard- looking back only to see Frank staring at you with empty eyes from the bedroom doorway.

speak to me

she said

with blackest eye
not beak

she said

i want to feel
the heat
you sneak away
each ray
of highest sun

beam with time
into black hole
of feathers
this hidden down

Your cape yields wonder
but are these feathers
really black at all?

the sun
positions overhead
backlit shadows
fall upon
each everything

your secret
is born of science
and will always
be safe
inside my silence

look back

she says

let fly
the snowy egret

she says

photograph by

words by