After finishing “Good Omens,” there must come from me a stupid, stupid headcanon skit about the side characters
At some point, War has entered the same room as Famine, who appears as though he’s about to eat a sandwich, and she groans, “I’m hungry. Practically starving.”
Famine oh-so-conveniently tells her, “It looks like you need this sandwich far more than I do.” And he offers it right up.
War is about to take a bite when she remembers just who exactly she’s accepted a sandwich from, and he seems altogether too happy that she’s about to eat the sandwich. “Raven. Is there actual food in this?”
“Would I offer anything that wasn’t actual food to YOU, Scarlett?”
At which point, Pollution happens to be walking by, and notices the sandwich just as War takes a bite out of it, and he remarks, “Oh, good! It’s the sandwich I helped make! War, do you like it - “
And War spits out the bite and screams “NOW I KNOW THERE’S NO FOOD IN THIS.”
I’m up way too late everybody