raven's 5k

Six to Eight Months (The Raven Cycle, 1.5k, incomplete): A collection of oneshots and drabbles about what happened between Chapter 67 of The Raven King and the epilogue.


Unthinkingly, Ronan’s feet bring him back to the barn he’d gone to on the night of his eighteenth birthday, just after he’d kissed Adam for the first time, when he’d felt light enough to fly, to dissolve, to be kind to Declan without even thinking. Instead of triumphantly climbing onto the roof, however, he leans his back against the side of the barn and sinks to the ground, the cold metal of the wall biting at his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He misses the sounds of living animals in the fields and buildings and forest. He misses the lilting Irish music that had so often floated out through the windows of the farmhouse and over the barns on warm summer afternoons. He misses Cabeswater and its strangely familiar magic.

He misses his parents.

It’s a statement that seems stupidly obvious until it’s actually felt. Ronan realizes that this is why he had needed to be alone, so he doesn’t have to try to explain what I miss my parents actually means. Saying the words does nothing to communicate the full-body ache of loss, his every heartbeat throbbing the words through his body and pounding them into the ground beneath his feet: I miss my parents I miss my parents I miss my parents. He doesn’t cry; he knows this is a different beast than mourning. He won’t grieve forever, but he’s going to miss his parents for the rest of his life.