The Great Misérables Bake Off, Pt. 1 (2500 Follower Giveaway Fic #4)
Both @unpeubrillante and @ihopeintangoyouhavemoreluck requested Great British Bake Off AUs, so I hope neither minds that I am combining their requests into a two-part fic, with part 2 coming tomorrow. unpeubrillante requested E/R and Marius being Marius, while ihopeintangoyouhavemoreluck wanted some Combeferre/Courfeyrac fluff, so I’ve done my best to incorporate both.
I absolutely LOVE the Great British Bake Off (like it literally sustained me through the last few weeks of campaigning), so the best way that I could think to write a GBBO AU was to write it as a transcript of the show. As such, I’ve done my best to honor the spirit of the show, even if it sacrifices my usual flowery descriptions.
Great British Bake Off AU, developing E/R, developing Combeferre/Courfeyrac, developing Marius/Cosette. Fluff. And loads of crack (the fic kind. Not the drug kind).
The following is a transcript of the unaired fourth episode of Season 3 of The Great Miserables Bake Off. As readers may know, Season 3 was cancelled following the fifth episode when it was revealed that both a host and a judge had become romantically involved with two contestants behind the scenes and when a third contestant tried to arrest the other judge. This transcript, broken into two parts, has been provided for legal purposes pending multiple lawsuits against the studio, contestants, judges and, in one unfortunate incident, the cameraman.
The show’s editors regret to inform readers that only the final cut of the episode is available. Unedited material has been mysteriously misplaced. However, we believe that the edited material shows a clear sense of what transpired leading up to the events of the 5th episode, which can be viewed in their entirety in the previously provided footage.
[CAMERA: Opens on typical overcast British summer day. COURFEYRAC and ÉPONINE are sitting under a tree. ÉPONINE’S arms are crossed and she looks downcast.]
COURFEYRAC: I have a joke to cheer you up. Why are our bakers going to be in a panic today?
ÉPONINE: [without enthusiasm] Why?
COURFEYRAC: Because they’re going to be in a loaf or death situation!