rarities: bfp

We tried our hardest this cycle. Preseed, vitex, keto diet/losing 12 pounds in 4 weeks, digital opk’s, everything. It worked. It really fucking worked. Still only 10dpo (we actually found out yesterday, but these are today’s tests). EDD 11/29. Hoping for a super sticky healthy bean. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and helpful.

If you follow me on my fitblr, please don’t say anything there. It will be a while before I post anything on there. We have a lot more hoops to jump through being genetic carriers, but knew all of you would be supportive.

All I think about is pregnancy. 24/7. I have dreams about being pregnant or having my child. It consumes me and I know to others that probably sounds crazy but when you are someone who feels you were born to be a mother it makes perfect sense. I can’t wait for my BFP, and my first ultrasound. The growing bump, eventually the little kicks and flutters. Even the not so pretty parts. The birth, and then meeting the little person you created. I can’t wait for it all. I’m impatiently waiting for someone I haven’t met yet.

Top two (internet cheapies) from yesterday fmu.

Hubby did not believe them so purchased the first response test that came with the digital and the pink dye. Took pink dye this am first, way before the 3 min mark the line was obvious. Then took the digital and there we have it.

My mind won’t turn off. I can’t sleep past my alarm for my bbt, which I’m still doing to see if my temps stay elevated.

Symptoms: pretty much same as pms, which are acne around my mouth and chin, dull cramping, heart burn, and irritable. Which I always get when af shows. The only difference is my nipples are not sore and breasts are not tender. They feel bigger but I thought that was my imagination.

I know for some of my Tumblr friends this is a hard time to read about yet another bfp. I’m sorry for any pain or emotions this brings about. I hope to not bother you with oversharing my complaining and excitement along the way. I have my fingers crossed you will get your bfp soon.

A year ago, I threw a pregnancy test in my pocket to take before church and waited for the negative result… I didn’t even have the cap back on before a dark, confident positive appeared. I had no fear, no freak out, just total awe. My own Christmas miracle, less than a year after an infertility diagnosis. I wept with joy throughout the first advent service that morning, the sermon on HOPE. I waited a few (seemingly endless) hours before telling @drewwesty with these pajamas, an engraved bottle of Blue Label, and that fateful test… The pjs look even cuter today!

I just took another test, just in case the first three weren’t enough. The test line is darker than the control line! I have an appointment on the 22nd and I’m hoping I get an ultrasound. The receptionist told me it depends on the provider, so I won’t know until I get there. I will be 7 weeks 2 days at the apt, so it may still be a little on the early side. Although this appointment is with a midwife at a birth center, I’m still haven’t decided whether I want to go through with a home birth or not. I want to, but I’m afraid of needing a c-section and having to go to the shitty local hospital. Giving birth at that hospital has been a fear of mine long before I even wanted to start ttc. The birth center is in a hospital with an operating room on the same floor, so its probably the safer choice. Its also only about 30 minutes away from our house. I just hope the appointment eases my mind and makes the decision a little easier.