rarely ate

You’re No Brother Of Mine.

Yeah. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Sorry. Anon requested- Hey! I was wondering if you could write an imagine with this scenario, when Dean went to hell Sam went nuts ofc so he dropped their little sister (15/16 yo) in Bobby’s place and when Dean gets back he is pissed w Sam for what he did to you. You are also pissed and very upset w him, so one day he asks you what’s the matter and you explode and tell him how painful it was to be left by him and everything. I know it’s very specific but I would rlly aprecciate if you do it, can you also put fluffy?

Warnings- swearing, mentions of depression, also Sam’s kinda a dick for the first couple of paragraphs but he was high on the demon blood so that explains it.

A/N- I’ve kind of been stuck in a slump for the past week, so writing has been difficult for me but i’m feeling a bit better so i’m ready to write again!


Four months, it had been four months since Dean died, four months since Sam left you. You still didn’t understand why he left, at first you didn’t mind, you knew he needed his space after all he did witness his brother getting torn to shreds by a Hell hound. 

After a week of you staying at Bobby’s you became curious, you had rung and texted Sam numerous times but he never answered, your phone would always go to voice mail or it would just ring non-stop. After a month of silence you decided to try and track him, you tried to keep it a secret from Bobby, he thought you and Sam talked everyday, that’s what you told him. 

Keep reading


come home // theo raeken

summary ; in which no one else seems to notice that y/n’s been struggling immensely since the demise of theo raeken, except liam. and so, liam can’t help but go against the rest of the pack to make you happy once more.

pairing ; theo raeken & reader

warnings ; death (kind of), sadness, angst, season 6a spoilers

word count ; 1.7k

published ; 30th march ‘17


stay safe + ily🍃

You still remember how it happened, clear as day. 

You remember running as fast as you possibly could down those dark tunnels; you remember your shoes slapping against the damp ground loudly as panicked breaths left your lips and tears stung your waterline, threatening to fall. You remember catching up with the rest of your so-called ‘pack’ as they all stood in a circle, determined looks etched into their faces. 

You remember being too late. 

You remember hearing Kira’s cold words. “The Skinwalkers have a message for you, Theo. Your sister wants to see you.“ 

You remember watching her wield her katana as you rushed past the others and stopped short in front of the angered kitsune. "No! Kira, please!” You remember shouting, your voice laced with desperation as Theo glanced your way, his eyes filled with unmistakable panic and fear. 

“(Y/N)…” The whispered words escaped past his lips as he attempted to take a few steps toward you, the girl he loved, but came to a hesitant halt when Liam and Scott bared their teeth and growled at him from directly behind your shaking body. 

You remember Scott grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back as you begged your friends not to do what you knew they were about to. The feeling of complete dread filled you when they continued to ignore your screams, the heavy tears rolling down your cheeks as you struggled to escape from the True Alpha’s grip. "Please! Don’t do this! Kira!“ You cried out, your heart pounding in your chest as alarm increasingly flared up inside of you. 

“It’s for the best, (Y/N),” Scott’s voice rang through your ears as he held your fighting body tightly against himself. 

“No! Please! I-I love him,” You rasped out, your cries dying down when you looked at your boyfriend. His wide eyes were glued to you, those three words had sprung the sudden feeling of regret for all he had done to put him in this final position onto him as it ran through his veins and he watched the tears fall from your beautiful eyes. If he hadn’t acted the way he did to the rest of the pack, he wouldn’t be about to lose you. But he couldn’t change that now, he reminded himself harshly.

You remember being too late. 

Kira’s sword had already come into contact with the ground by the time you finished your confession, a harsh glare in her glowing eyes. The wet, paved stones cracking and rumbling under your feet. You remember the floor caving in, Theo’s sister crawling her way up from under the rubble, your breath hitching in your throat as you watched her with wide, frozen eyes snatch his legs with her hands, yanking him to the cold, hard ground. 

“(Y/N)! Help me! Please!” His distraught voice echoed through your head and shook your body to the core. 

“Theo!” You remember the sobs that racked through your body and the way that your chest heaved heavily as you tried so hard to get past Scott’s hold on you, as you tried so hard to save the only person who’s ever really loved you. You remember hearing his pleas and watching as his grip on the edge of the ground slipped, and he fell into the epitome of his own hell.

“No!” You remember the scream that erupted from you, your vision blurred with tears and your chest tight with the pain and the loss. Scott let go of you and you immediately scrambled to the giant, gaping hole in the stone, gasping breaths leaving your parted lips hysterically.

You remember being too late. 

The ground swallowed him up just as quick and magically, it was whole again. No cracks, no rubble, no flaws. You remember feeling numb. Your wide eyes locked onto the ground as your knees gave way, leading you to land upon the cold concrete where the boy you loved had just been taken from you. 


You had decided to split away from the pack when the sun rose the very next day. There was a hole, a darkness, a void, in your chest where something was missing, from where Theo was missing… That darkness hadn’t been picked up by light, not even months down the line. It hadn’t changed. 

You hadn’t spoken to anyone; you had barely left the house. You rarely ate, your once glowing skin, now a sickly pale. Your parents were incredibly worried; they knew about the supernatural and the fact that your boyfriend was a creature of the night. 

They knew that he had betrayed the pack a few times but they had regularly seen you and him cuddled close together in your room, his fingers softly running through your hair, your head gently rested on his chest and his arm wrapped tightly around your body as you both gazed at the tv, a comfortable silence filling the room; they knew that he would never hurt you. They knew how much Theo meant to you and vice versa.

Now, everything felt wrong. 

You were convinced that none of the pack had noticed your absence at school, even though your leave was extremely abrupt. They all assumed that you were grieving and that you would need time and space to heal and so they left you alone. 

Liam noticed more than anyone, however. Ever since he moved to Beacon Hills, there had been no one who was more welcoming and supportive of him than you and he would never forget that. You two had been good friends all throughout his time in that county and he hated not being able to see you but still knowing how heartbroken you were over the pack’s rash decisions.

So, he decided to do something about it. Getting in touch with the Celestial kitsune, Noshiko Yukimura, had been easy. But, convincing her to come back to Beacon Hills for the sole purpose of her delivering Kira’s katana to them had been slightly more difficult but doable after some pleads, nonetheless.

Back again, you thought begrudgingly. The underground tunnels seeming even darker and even damper than the last time you were here. The last time you were here.The last time you were here, you lost Theo. 

You folded your arms across your body, shivering as the cool breeze of the evening flowed throughout the maze of tunnels. All the bad memories resurfacing against your will as you stood opposite Liam and Hayden, in the exact area in which you saw your boyfriend get dragged down to his personal hell. 

“What are we doing here, Liam?” Your voice was small and quiet as you glanced around at your dank surroundings, tightening your grip on yourself as if you were attempting to comfort and shield yourself from the nightmares those tunnels bring.

Liam let out a steady huff of air, his eyes flickering to Hayden’s and then back to yours as he brought his hand out from behind his back. Your breath got caught in your throat and as you stared at the item he beheld. Kira’s sword. “W-what?” You stuttered out roughly, your heart hammering in your chest as you took a step closer to your friends. 

“Use it,” His demand was soft and kind as he reached his arm out towards you. You let out an inevitable breath of chilled air before reaching out with shaky hands, grasping the grip of the sword in your fingers.

You looked up at Liam with teary eyes before throwing your free arm around his torso and bringing him into a long overdue hug. His arms went around your shoulders and you muttered out a quiet and muffled but appreciative, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” You pulled away and gave a grateful nod of your head Hayden’s way as the two of you barely knew each other; she returned it with a small, happy, smile written on her lips.

You turned away from the two, sighing shakily as you readily positioned the sword above the ground. Not even hesitating once as you lifted the katana up before swinging it back down onto the concrete with as much strength as you could muster.

The ground did as it did before, cracking and crumbling, giving away to create the same wide and immense hole. The stone explodes as a clawed hand shoots up and into the air; a gasp tumbled from your lips as you watched Theo painfully slowly clamber his way out of the rubble and onto safe ground.

“T-Theo?” Your voice seemed to get lost in the cool wind when your glistening eyes connected with his vibrant and glowing, golden ones. Low growls emitted past his sharp canines until his eyes locked onto your frozen body, and his breath gets caught. The gold in his iris’ slowly fading out until the soft hazel colour that you fell in love with is restored. 

“(Y/N)…” He breathed out, his voice hoarse as he took a few steps towards you. Kira’s sword fell out of your grip and clattered onto the floor, the noise echoing and bouncing off the walls of the tunnels but you didn’t notice as your legs carry you as fast as they could back into his warm arms.

Tears that had been collecting on your waterline slowly made their trek down your rosy cheeks as his arms tightly wrap around your waist and his head settles in the crook of your neck. The sadness that had been sitting on your shoulders and weighing you down ever since he was taken away from you, dissipated into thin air and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief because of it. 

Then, you felt his tears on the skin of your slightly exposed collar bone and heard the almost inaudible sound of his sniffles, so you hugged him tighter and ran your fingers through his messy, dark hair. “I-I love you too,” You could only just make out his hushed and muffled words through your elated cries of happiness but your heart swelled when they ring through your ears, like music.


I was born on a child farm

by reddit user IamHowardMoxley

“There is no free will.”

Those are the first words I ever read. I woke to them every day for many years. They were written on a sign. The sign was hung above the opposite row of bunks in the Sleeping Barn. I have no memories from before the farm; I assumed I was born there.

None of the children there knew why we were here or where we came from…nobody even knew how long we had been at the farm. Some children aged. Some didn’t. I can’t remember much, but that’s what happens when you are not given too much to remember.

Keep reading


For anon…enjoy! I realized that I actually really enjoy Remus…a lot

James let out a boisterous laugh as you landed right in front of him having just finished going through a Marauder prank. Sirius, Peter, and the other students in the halls were quick to add in their own bursts of giggles and what not. The only one not laughing was Remus. Unbeknownst to you, he had been against the prank.

You felt your face immediately turn red. You had known you were to be the next target, but you figured it wouldn’t have been this…horrifying. After all, you were practically best friends with James and the others. James…how have you had a crush on him for this long? Betrayal and pain began to seep into the tears pooling at the bottom of your eyes. James had fallen into more of a giggling smirk only making you more enraged.


The corridor seemed to fall silent as they had all seen you slap James right on the face. Despite being rightfully angry, you still felt a moment of regret for smacking him. Needing to escape, you hastily stomped away to a more quiet hallway until you came to a little spot only you seemed to know about.

Behind you, Remus shook his head as he walked over to Sirius, Peter, and James.

“Seriously Potter, I don’t think you understand what you just did.”
“Relax Moony,” Sirius spoke up, “Y/N will get over it like always.”

Remus continued to shake his head before leaving the corridor himself. James stood in his spot. He found himself turning to where you had walked away. He had just noticed the severity of your expression before you hit him. He grit his teeth and swallowed.

Keep reading

suicidal || alex standall

prompt: You should do an Alex imagine where his gf is on one of the tapes and is suicdal. + Can you do an Alex imagine with suicidal reader + Can you do a Alex imagine where you guys are really close and you are on the tapes and you become super distant and suicidal

warnings: suicidal!reader, swearing, reader is on the tapes

a/n: this took a while to post bc i had to think of a reason to why the reader is on the tapes. italics mean hannah speaking , and as always feedback is appreciated and requests are open ALSO reader is tape number 14 and lets pretend clay recorded bryce’s confession on something else.

Girls will be girls and boys will be boys they say. But sometimes their actions can affect lives. They affected mine, see I went through some dark times and when I needed you most, you backed out. Why did you leave when i needed you most? But hey, girls will be girls right? This one’s for you Y/N Y/L/N.

You were lying in bed, listening to tape Hannah speak, while you felt your heart sink. After sitting through a long night, listening to each tape, you finally got to yours. You never knew you were one of these reasons Hannah killed herself until you walked home from school one day and saw a horribly wrapped package addressed to you. You had used a walkman your parents had to listen to the numbered tapes. And hearing Hannah speak and introduce the tapes, you couldn’t believe you were one of the reasons.

You and Alex Standall were dating so once you go to his tape, you couldn’t believe what Hannah was saying, but you carried on, and listened to each heartbreaking tape. So once you got the last tape you knew it was about you.

You see Y/N, even though you are my 14th tape, Mr Porter is still my last reason. You were such a nice person, you became my friend after Alex and Jess left. But after my reputation had changed for the worse and I was ‘Hannah The Slut’ you started hanging out with me less. You still always gave me a smile when we passed in the halls but you never stopped to ask how I was or anything really. Were you ashamed to hang out with me? Was I a burden to you?

At this point you were in tears, your nose was stuffed and your eyes were red and puffy. “I’m so sorry Hannah, I didn’t mean to leave you.” You spoke, turning to your side on your bed. You had your headphones in so you didn’t hear your door open. You felt arms wrap around your crying figure. You removed one earbud and turned to face your hugger. “It’s okay Y/N.” Alex spoke and kissed your forehead. You turn to face Alex, your head in his chest “I didn’t mean to hurt Hannah.” You spoke into his chest, your tears staining his shirt, but Alex didn’t mind. He hated seeing like this.

Alex moved to stop the tape and move the god damn thing away from you, since you already finished your tape. “It’s okay Y/N.” Alex said once again, and you calmed down and slowed your breathing, listening to Alex’s heartbeat. Then the two of you fell asleep.

Since you were the last person to receive the tapes, you held on to them. Even though they caused you emotional pain, it was the only thing you had left from Hannah. You kept the shoebox under your bed, and rarely touched it. You carried on with your life as per usual. You started to notice how everyone who was on the tapes looked more stressed and freaked. They knew what you had done and you know what they did. But you and Alex were still happy, and that’s what matters. But after a week since listening to the tapes, you’ve had a total shift of behavior.

You had been more tired that usual, you ate less, rarely spoke and would get agitated easily. Alex noticed your shift in behavior, but thought it wouldn’t be a big deal. But then your behavior continued for 2 months. Then one day you weren’t at school. Alex had started freaking out, but you sat at home, emotionally drained. Why am I still alive? This question would echo in your mind. Why were you still alive? You had contributed to make a girl commit suicide and she was your friend.

You hated yourself and the guilt was eating you alive. “I shouldn’t have left her.” You mumble to yourself. Your whole body felt sore and weak, you’ve been eating less, your face was a sickly color and bags formed under your eyes. Alex went straight to your house that afternoon, panic was rushing through him. “Hey Ms. Y/L/N, is Y/N home?” Alex asked your mom who opened the door and greeted him. “She’s in her room. Alex, do you know why she’s been acting so strangely? She’s not acting like the Y/N we know.” Your mom spoke, her voice quiet. Alex shook his head, knowing better than to let his girlfriend’s mom know about the tapes.

She gave Alex a smile and let him in, the platinum blonde hair boy rushing to your room. He found you laying in bed and staring at your ceiling. “Why am I still alive Alex?” You asked, your voice calm and soft. “Y/N, no, please don’t think like that.” Alex spoke, immediately sitting next to you and pulling you close to him. “But it’s true Alex, I killed Hannah Baker.” You cried softly. “We all did, but you shouldn’t take your life because it. Hannah’s death affected a bunch of people and yours would too. Please don’t do it.” You laid your forehead on Alex’s shoulder, tears falling from your eyes.

“It’s hard, the guilt is eating me alive.” You said. Alex cupped your face and made you look at him, “It’s okay, we’ll get through this. I’ll help you.” He kissed your forehead. “Thank you, I love you.” You spoke, and Alex gave you a smile, “I love you too.”

damn this was rlly long and im not too proud of it but i posted so :)) ALSO this is such a serious topic like please if you ever feel suicidal get help or even call a hotline, its better to get help then go through it alone

merry early christmas

the sun peeking through the blinds was the sole reason you weren’t able to fall back asleep. some nights both you and shawn were too occupied with your 15 month old baby girl to remember to close them before you finally went to bed. your little girl, ava, still wasn’t sleeping through the night and you and shawn were up almost every 4 hours feeding her or trying to put her back to sleep. you were extremely tired and looking at the clock, it was only 7 am which means you had about an hour and a half until ava woke up again. you rolled over so the sun rays were now hitting your back to reveal your husband sleeping soundly. ‘i wish i was that peaceful right now.’ lucky for him, he didn’t need to feed ava every other time she woke up and he got a few more hours of sleep than you each night. you weren’t complaining about feeding her, you loved it. it was a bond only you and her could share, but sometimes you wished she didn’t have to be fed every few hours.

shawn stirred, draping his arm around you and pulling you closer to him. “good morning,” you chuckled, running your hand through his messy curls. “sleep well?” he didn’t respond, instead he pulled you closer and rested his head on top of yours. “i’m tired,” he finally said, his morning voice was raspy and even after all these years it made you want to melt into a puddle every time you heard it. “me too,” you agreed. “but we need to get up and start the day.” you tried to free yourself from his grip which only resulted in him pulling you closer and holding you tighter than before.

“don’t leave, stay with me.” he said, nuzzling his face into your neck. “the baby is going to wake up soon.” you sighed. as much as you wanted to lay here with shawn all day, you knew you couldn’t. you weren’t carefree teenagers anymore, you were married and had a baby and a four year old to take care of, which required you to leave the comfort and warmth of your bed. of course, you could always bring little ava into the bed with you for a little while, which shawn tended to do on weekends when you two just wanted to relax for a while. luckily, your four year old son, alexander, slept through the night but had quite the history of coming and cuddling with you and shawn every morning, which you loved. he was such a momma’s boy and he loved cuddling with you, which made shawn pout because he wanted to cuddle with you too.

“shawn,” you whined, trying to push him off you. “i can hear her, she’s awake.” you could hear the faint cries coming from her nursery from the baby monitor you had set up in your room. you absolutely loved that she wasn’t a loud crier, and that she rarely cried. overall, ava was a good baby, she always ate willingly, rarely cried, and was the happiest baby you’ve ever seen. not to mention, she was by far the cutest baby you’ve ever seen but you might be a little biased. “i need to go get her.”

after hearing the cries of his little girl, he released his iron grip so you could go get her and bring her to your own room. as you tiredly made your way down the hall, you could hear her cries get louder.

“hey, it’s okay,” you cooed as you entered the pink room. her crying ceased once she noticed you, instead she was making grabby hands that her father taught her how to do. you picked her up as she let her head fall on your shoulder. “come on baby girl, let’s go see daddy.” you tiptoed your way back to the master bedroom, taking a quick peek in alex’s room to see he was sound asleep under all his blankets. she perked up at the mention of shawn and you knew the minute she saw him she would no longer want to be in your arms, she would want him. you walked back in the room to see shawn talking to his phone, from the looks of it he was live on instagram.

“shawn it’s 7am on a sunday, who’s even watching that?” you laughed, taking a seat on the bed that was out of the camera.

“for your information, 90 thousand people including niall, john mayer, and andrew are watching right now.” he said, reading some of the comments fans and his friends were leaving. “andrew says hi.”

“hi andrew!” you said, making sure not to speak too loud or else ava would start crying. you were surprised she wasn’t squirming around to get to her father yet.

‘dadadadadada,” ava babbled, reaching for her father but not whining for him, yet. he smiled adoringly at her, reaching his arms out to take her from you. you were sure once she came into view of the livestream, people would start going crazy.

“hi baby,” shawn cooed, kissing her rosy cheek. “how are you today? did mummy dress you in a christmas onesie?” he tickled her small belly, earning a laugh from the now wide awake little girl. “say hi to the people,” he motioned to the camera for her to wave and she copied him. you weren’t in the shot but you could clearly see the fan’s comments from where you were sitting. you loved that they absolutely adored your kids and that they never left negative comments about your family.

“for your information shawn,” you butted in. “there are 10 days until christmas so it’s only fair that both kids wear their christmas pj’s.” you shook your head, “get in the christmas spirit shawn.”

he laughed, “come in the camera y/n, the people want to see you.” he grabbed your arm with the arm that wasn’t supporting his daughter in attempt to pull you in.

“no way, i look terrible i just woke up.” you said, moving further away from him. he shook his head, “you look beautiful as always.”

while shawn was talking to the fans on his livestream, you heard the pitter patter of alex’s feet running down the hall into your room. “mumma!” he yelled, running into your arms. he was still holding this all time favourite stuffed bear as he gave you his famous morning hug.

“hi baby, how did you sleep?” you asked, kissing the top of his flat bed hair. you hadn’t noticed that shawn had now flipped the camera so it was facing you and your son.

“good!” he looked up at you, giving you the cutest smile you’ve ever seen. he looked exactly like shawn, he had inherited all his features and pretty much none of yours. “christmas is soon!” he exclaimed.

“shh, not too loud.” you whispered. “but yes, it is. are you excited?”

shawn watched as you talked with your son, eventually deciding to end the livestream and spend some time with his little family. shawn pulled you all close to him, cherishing this time he has with his family before he starts touring again, which he was hoping to take a few years off.

“do you guys want an early christmas present?” you asked, breaking the comfortable silence. your question was mainly directed at shawn and alex since ava was too young to understand and she was half asleep on shawn’s chest.

“yes!” alex exclaimed, sitting up immediately. “what is it?” you smiled at his eagerness. shawn gave you a confused look. “who is this early present for?”

“everyone!” you called as you walked into the closet to retrieve the present. The physical part of the present was mainly for shawn since alex was also too young to understand.

you returned to your bed, holding a small box in your hands. you handed it to shawn and told him not to open it yet, alex tried to grab it but luckily you stopped him.

“alex,” you smiled. “you know how ava is your baby sister?” he nodded, not fully processing this information while shawn looked at you questioningly.

‘well how would you feel about having another baby brother or sister?” you asked, unable to contain your happiness anymore. shawn’s eyes widened and his jaw completely dropped. alex looked confused before he nodded slowly. “but ava is the baby?”

“yes, but how would you feel about another baby?” you asked as shawn just stared at you in awe.

“i want a baby brother!” he said happily. “we can name him joey like my bear!”

shawn ripped open the gift without your consent revealing a sonogram of the baby that was currently in your stomach and a positive pregnancy test. “no way!” he smiled, “no way,”

you nodded, “i’m pregnant! surprise!”

luckily, alex moved out of the way in time for shawn to pull you into his arms after he gently set ava down on the pillow next to him. “this is amazing baby!” he pressed a passionate kiss to your lips as alex cringed.

“we have to call my parents, and your parents!” he said, reaching for his phone.

‘no!” you stopped him. “let’s wait until christmas eve, i have a plan.”

shawn nodded, not really caring about when he tells his parents or yours. all he can care about right now is the fact that there is another life growing inside you that was half him and half you. he pulled you in for another kiss, ignoring alex’s protests yet again.

“merry early christmas baby,” you said, still in his embrace. alex ended up joining your hug and you managed to grab ava too.

“merry early christmas indeed.”



Gifs not mine.

xxno-wayxx said: Sherlock x reader. Reader has a miscarriage?

Warnings: miscarriage and depression.

A/N: this is probably one of the most angsty things I have ever written but I do love write angst. Also, please don’t read this if it is a sensitive topic for you. Also, I added a season four quote in here as I thought it was necessary as it fit the writing. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! xxx

He wished you’d say something. He wished you'd laugh. He wished you’d smile. Oh how he loved your smile. The way your lips curved and captured joy with the ray of sunshine of your face. The way your eyes lit up and sparkled. That hadn’t occurred in a long while.



You kept him sane. He could listen to you for hours and not tire of your voice, your sweet melodic voice. Sherlock would be fascinated by you, despite your belief that you were quite ordinary. He was also in love with you; an emotion he denied feeling for a while. However, when the time came for him to care for you, he couldn’t. You’d shut him out completely. You’d shut out everyone since the trip to the hospital…



You awoke with labour-like pains in the middle of the night. You screamed out in agony and pools of blood were running down your leg.

“It’s only six months!” You cried out in both pain and agony. You clung to Sherlock as he held you in his arms. “This cannot be happening.” Your wails could be heard from downstairs so Mrs Hudson, fearing the worst, came up to your flat but Sherlock sent her swiftly away as she entered the bedroom.

“I’m going to call an ambulance,” Sherlock whispered softly to you. He went to leave you to get his phone as the pair of you had just so happened to leave your phones in the living room. When he pulled away to leave, you clung to him tighter so he picked you up and carried you with him when he went to retrieve the phone. He knew moving would make the pain increase but you wouldn’t leave him.



Everything seemed to go in a blur until you had to give birth. That was very slow and full of torment. Sherlock was by your side through it all. He tried to stay strong for you. In the end, you were left on the bed with your tiny child in your arms. Nothing could have brought her round. You could do nothing but look down at her and weep. But you didn’t weep. You just felt empty. Sherlock felt the same but a single tear trickled down his face. It’s not like Sherlock didn’t care. He cared a lot as he loved you and your baby, that you unfortunately lost. You cried buckets after the birth but as soon as she was placed in her arms, all emotion was lost from your exterior. Sherlock hated the thought of you bottling it all inside.

“She needs a name,” You stated. Sherlock nodded in agreement.


“And a middle name?”

Sherlock thought. “Elizabeth. Melody Elizabeth Holmes.”

“My little Melody.”



“Y/N,” Sherlock called. “I’ve made you a cup of tea.” Sherlock never made anyone tea and he knew you wouldn’t drink it but he wanted to try. You were stood by the window gazing out at the street below. You’d been stood there for around an hour lost in your thoughts like usual. You’d been like this for three months. Your body had healed relatively quickly but you were mentally unstable. You rarely ate or drank and you hardly slept. You only slept after the miscarriage and you felt absolutely exhausted. Well, you did feel incredibly tired for the next three months but couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. When you did sleep, you didn’t want to wake up.



“Y/N,” Sherlock repeated the tea. This time you slowly turned your head to face him. You frame was thin, due to the lack of eating and you had heavy bags under your eyes.

“I’m fine,” You replied quietly. That wasn’t the voice Sherlock was used to hearing as it was broken one.

“You haven’t done anything today, have you?”

No reply.

“Have you eaten?”

No reply.

He sighed. “Y/N, you need help.”

“My baby needed help.” Your eyes welled up. Sherlock took this as a good sign. It was awful to see you cry but he detested seeing you so isolated from the world. This was your first emotional outburst since the day you lost your child.

“I killed her, Sherlock!” You screamed as the flood of tears streamed down the cheeks that were once rosie.

“No,” Sherlock said sternly and walked over to you. He put his hands on your shoulders. “This is not your fault. It was inevitable.”

“Then who’s fault is it?”

“There a several causes that can cause it-”

“But what if the cause is me? What if I have a problem.”

Sherlock sighed. "Approximately 60 percent of miscarriages are caused by mismatched chromosomes. So, if you blame yourself, then you will also have to blame me. Also, most miscarriages are a one time thing so this may not be a problem with you. Please, my love, stop hurting yourself.“

"I just…” You couldn’t think of the right word. “Hurt. Sherlock, I just hurt. I feel so empty. It’s been three months. I should have my little girl with me now. New-born and alive and healthy and… She’s not.”

“We can’t bring her back though.”


“I will help you. Everyone will help you. However, you need to realise that I…" A lump formed in his throat. "I lost my child too and now I worry that I’ll lose you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Only now did you realise the pain you put him through. “I didn’t mean for this. I didn’t mean to put you through any pain. I was selfish.”

“No you weren’t selfish. Your baby died, our baby died!” He sighed. “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not!”

“No but it is what it is. We will get help and we’ll get through this together.”

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@milychetto @rikkachloechan @lovelyblackdespair @cloudless-skys-blog

Monthly Hero

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Nat and Fury are briefly mentioned

Warnings: This will give you cavities. And yes that is a warning. 

Word count: 1,403

Summary: Y/N is having the shittiest day,on her period and a certain Supersoldier drops by her apartment to cheer her up. 

A/N: I’m sick and on my period and I desperately needed some cute Steve to cheer me up, so this happened. Thanks to @fandommaniacx for helping me out with the title! Please let me know if you like it! xx 

Everything had gone wrong today. You had woken up too late, dropped your phone in the toilet and stubbed your toe on the edge of your bed. Now that you were attending the daily meeting with Fury, feeling something hot drip down your legs, you cursed internally. This was the last thing you needed. Thankfully, Fury cut the meeting quite short as he had to attend another meeting himself.

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request:  4, 8 and 28 all together for the blurb thing thank you <3

request:  could you do 28?

hello loves! keep sending in those requests! send in one from the blurb list here! hope you enjoy!

Harry was distraught. He hated fighting with you. It was his least favorite thing in the world. You and Harry had had your share of arguments, but this one, wasn’t going to fix anything. You had been dating for a little less than three years, and Harry had just announced that he was going to be heading on his first solo tour. Normally, you would be absolutely extatic for him. You met when he was on his last tour with One Direction and you saw that he was having some of the best times of his life. But this time around, you were upset not because he was going on tour, but because he never told you. Not once in the amount of time he had to tell you had he even brought up the idea of him going on tour.

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Angsty Drabble

Theme/s: Angst. Character Death. Unbeta’d

It was in his eyes. Yes, it was surely in his eyes. No one could ever know what goes on in Sherlock’s head but everything he feels is almost always transparent in his eyes. The way they looked unbelievably vacant when he first saw her. The way they seemed like bright blue orbs when he was texting her on his phone. The way they dilated to almost black when she kissed him hungrily. And the way that they mimicked the calm blue of the ocean when he watched her sleep peacefully beside him.

His eyes, they spoke volumes. And it proved to be a good thing because soon came the time when he barely talked, rarely slept, and seldom ate. It has been months since she had gone missing and the investigation took a huge toll on him. He looked like a walking corpse but his eyes, they were the fartherst from death than they have ever been. They held a wicked sense of purpose.

But then in came a parcel, beautifully wrapped in crimson red. She was home. At least a part of her was. Sherlock always said that he knew her inside and out.

Apparently, he didn’t.

“The test was match for Y/N, Sherlock.” John tried his best, but he couldn’t hold back the tears that escaped his eyes. “It’s her heart.” His words were labored as he kept his composure.

The silence that followed the revelation was completely unexpected. John expected him to storm down the lab and violently force them to redo all the tests but instead he laughs incredulously. And John started to doubt the other’s sanity.

“Of course it is…” whispered Sherlock, willing his tears away to no avail. “He never lies.” He produced a dedication card, handing it to John:

“I happen to know it’s the one thing she promised you. Do I have your attention now?” Jim Moriarty x

‘full potential’  (Jughead Jones X Reader)

Summary- Reader feels bad about herself and has eating issues. Jughead tires to help. 

Warnings- trigger warning!, fluff, eating disorders, crazy moms.

Requested- Yes!

A/N- I have to go to school tomorrow and I missed Friday so I have so much makeup work wow kms.

You always felt like there was so much pressure put on you to be the best. To be the best at school, be the best at making friends, the best at looking good, and the best at staying ‘fit’. 

You never had a problem with eating before, you ate a lot in fact. But recently your mother had been commenting on your size and your diet. 

You thought you ate pretty healthy. You rarely ate junk food. You had an average and healthy weight. But this wasn’t enough for your mother. 

She started out subtle. She would get you salads as sides instead of fries when she ordered take out, she would encourage you to work out and more. 

But then they got less and less subtle. 

She bought you a scale and even dieting pills. 

She assured you it was to keep up to your ‘full potential’ and not that she thought you were fat.

But that didn’t stop you from thinking you were. 

It seemed like you were fatter with every passing day. When, in reality, you were getting thinner and thinner. 

It was unhealthy. Very unhealthy. And your boyfriend, Jughead, knew that.

“Come on, Y/N, just have a milkshake.” Jughead said, as you sat at your regular booth at Pop’s. 

“No. My mom doesn’t want me to eat that kind of stuff.” You assured him, hanging your head.

He groaned, “God, your mom is so uptight. She won’t even let you have a milkshake.” 

You nodded and went back to your homework. 

The truth was, it wasn’t just your mom getting to you anymore. 

It was yourself.

You let every little comment get to you. Even if they weren’t meant to be hurtful. 

You were telling yourself to not listen, but you did. And it effected you. 

“Come out! Show us!” You heard Veronica say from the other side of the dressing room  door.

You were trying on clothes at a store with all of your friends.

You starred in the mirror. 

A girl wearing a tight strapless dress looked back at you. 

You noticed a bit of a tummy sticking out. Juts a bit.

“It’s nothing. Everyone has them. They are just stomachs.” You whispered to yourself as you stared  at the spot.

The words of your mother filled your mind. ‘you should get a salad.’ ‘don’t get that! it will make you bigger than you already are.’ ‘you need to be at your full potential. mentally and physically.’ 

A single tear trickled down your face as you stared at yourself.

“Helloooo?” Betty cooed from outside.

“We’ve been waiting forever!! Now show us how fierce you look!” Kevin called.

You gulped. 

“No, this-this isn’t- good.” You managed to say without sounding too sad. 

“Of course it is! It’s cute on you! And it’s only in your size, so I you don’t get it I’ll be mad.” Veronica joked.

‘only in your size’

you were silent for a while. Then you heard mumbling from outside and then a small knock on the door. 

“Y/N, its me. Open up.” Your boyfriend whispered through the door.

You slowly went over to the door and let him in.

He stared at you for a few moments and then said, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” you croaked, “I just don’t love the dress thats all.” 

An hour later you and the gang went to Pop’s. They all ordered burgers and milkshakes while you stuck with fries and an apple.

The entire gang eyes you as you ate the apple.

“What?” You asked as they all looked at you.

“Is that all you want?” Archie asked pointing at the apple and fries.

“Ya… Is that a problem?” You said back.

“Y/N, this is dinner. Your gonna eat an apple and some fries?” Jughead inquired.

You nodded, “It’s all I want, I’m not that hungry.” 

“Nope. Your getting a burger. You’ve hardly eaten all day.” Veronica said and stood up to order a burger.

You tried to protest but she didn’t let up. You couldn’t get out of this now.

“Now… You eat it.” Jughead said to you as you stared at the burger. 


“No!” They all shouted.

“Just eat.” Jughead whispered.

The image of your mom popped up in your head, what was she going to think after you ate a burger? All greasy and fatty. You were sure to gain after this.

You slowly picked up the burger and took a bite out of it. 

You made a little sigh and you chewed. 

This totally beat diet food.

“See? It’s good right?” Jughead laughed as you nodded.

you completely forgot your mom as you ate. It was as if she and dieting had never existed. 

You finally finished the burger and were as happy as ever. 

“That was delicious.” You said, leaning on Jughead arm. 

“Brugers are the best. Who cares if they make me gain 50 pounds. So worth it.” Veronica joked.

‘gain 50 pounds.’

“Excuse me, I gotta go to the restroom.” You said quickly and dashed to the bathroom.

You shut the door behind you when you got in. You went over to the sinks and looked in the mirror. 

Were your cheeks fatter than before?

 You took the dieting pills from your bag and emptied more than you probably should into your hand. 

You didn’t know how dieting pills worked, and you didn’t care. As long as they would take care of that burger you just ate.

Suddenly the door swung open and there was Jughead.

“What are you doing in here?!” You exclaimed, trying to hide the pills.

“Y/N, there’s something wrong with you…” He said, the look of worry in his eyes.

“No. Theres not.” You told him.

“Yes there is. We’ve been dating over a year, I think I would know if you are acting strange.” He replied.

You could trust Jughead… Right?

“Am- Am- I… fat?” You whispered just loud enough so he could hear.

Jughead shook his head, “Why would you think that?” 

“Am I?!” You exclaimed.

“Of course not! Your perfect just the way you are.” He took you in his arms and kissed the top of your head.

“Jug…”  You cooed.


“I think I need help.”

Jughead let go of you, looking into your eyes.

“Whats going on?” He asked.

A lump formed in your throat as you said, “I think I might have eating problems… or something. It’s because of my mom.” 

You showed him the dieting pills and the bottle.

“Why would your mom give these to you?” He exclaimed.

you told him about your mother wanting you to be at your ‘full potential’. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N. If I would have known…” 

“It’s ok. I just need you to help me keep a healthy mind. And help me eat at the right times… and actually eat.” You told him.

He nodded his head and smiled. 

You then went over to the trashcan and threw the pills in.

“Im really proud of you Y/N.” Juggie said and smiled.

You smiled back.

Every Me And Every You - Fifteen

You stood in front of Spencer’s apartment door and checked your watch. Five minutes to seven.

Hesitating only slightly, you reminded yourself again. “Red and yellow.“ And then you raised your hand and knocked.

“Y/N. Right on time, just the way you should be. Come in, come in.” Spencer smiled and opened the door wide for you to step through.

“I assume you’ve not eaten at all? Or showered as I told you not to?”

You nodded, seeing his own hair was damp and he was dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a faded t-shirt. His feet were bare.

“Good. Dinner will be arriving shortly anyway. I’ve ordered from that gourmet restaurant that does take out on second. The one Emily always talks about.”

“I think she’s on a first name basis with the owners,” you replied.

“I’m fairly certain she is. Anyway, you take your steak well done right?”

No. And he knew you didn’t. You’d ordered steak around him enough that he knew you ate it rare, instructing the wait staff to have the chef show it to the grill, but that was it. He watched for your reaction.

“Erm, yes. Well done is fine,” you said carefully. Was this the start?

“With vegetables rather than fries right?”

Okay. You could eat that. You wouldn’t enjoy it, but you’d eat it.

“What’s for dessert?”

“Ice cream. Mint chocolate. I bought strawberries as well, and chocolate sauce. Bit cliché but I know you like them.”

So he’d stuck with your favourite desserts which made you wonder if there was going to be a catch.

“Sounds delicious.”

“It does doesn’t it? You only get dessert if you clear your plate though.”

“That’s fine.”

“Excellent. Now, shower time. For both of us.”

“Together?” You looked at him confused. He’d clearly already showered.

“Kind of.” He reached for your bag with one hand and took your hand with the other, leading you into his bedroom and placing your bag on his bed.

“Strip. And if you refuse a command for longer than twenty seconds, then I’ll add a strike. Just so we’re clear here.”


You did as he asked, folding your clothes carefully as you removed them. You’d bought your own toiletries with you this time and moved towards your bag to retrieve them. You still felt slightly self conscious being completely naked around him, especially with him being clothed but you were getting there.

Spencer walked off towards his bathroom, beckoning you to follow him which you did, hearing his shower turning on as you entered the room.

“Okay. It’s all yours. Hop in…. ” He made no move to undress himself or to leave.

“You’re going to watch?”

“Yes. So don’t pull the curtain shut. Feel free to adjust the temperature so that it’s comfortable. Clocks ticking Y/N, get in.”

Showering with someone wasn’t weird. Showering in front of someone with them watching? Hmmmm.

But the clock was ticking….

Alrighty then. You climbed in and assembled your toiletries so that they were easily reachable, adjusting the temperature accordingly. Then you began to shower, trying to go about your normal routine as if Spencer wasn’t there, watching.

But he was, and every so often you glanced over and catch sight of him stood, leaning against his bathroom wall, his arms folded across his chest and his lips pursed.

You washed and conditioned your hair and then bent to shave your legs. That didn’t feel too weird. Shaving your armpits was though, it felt oddly intimate seeing him watching you do that.

“Is there anywhere else you want me to… erm … shave?” You weren’t really sure how this was going to go. You’d never been one for going fully shaven down there, you’d tried it a few times and each time it always looked you were smuggling a ten year old girl in your pants. Instead you just kept it tidy, nicely trimmed and in a neat strip, with regular trips to the waxers to keep it that way. That had been one of your errands last weekend in fact.

“No it’s fine how it is Y/N. Completely bare kind of creeps me out, so bear that in mind.”

“Will do.”

You reached for your sponge, squirting some coconut scented body wash onto it and started lathering up your torso and legs. When it came to washing between your legs, you stilled.


“Carry on. I need to make sure you’re clean everywhere.”

The way he’d said everywhere made you look at him again. And as you ran you eyes down his body quickly you could see that telltale bulge pressing against his jeans.

Knowing that watching you was making him hard, spurred you on.

You rubbed the sponge between your legs cleaning as you normally would, before discarding it and using your hand to get to the harder to reach places, feeling a different sort of wetness as you did. Turning around so the spray was running down your back, you bent forward slightly and ran your hand between your cheeks.

“Everywhere Y/N. All of the nooks and crannies.”

You complied, feeling your face burning against the water as you cleaned around and just inside your holes, making sure you were as clean you could be. Oh fuck, he wasn’t going to make you use one of those things was he. A douche would NOT be sexy? Turning yourself back around so the spray was against your front, you washed your hands and fingers carefully, before turning back to him.

“Am I done?”

“Yes you are. Good girl. Now, there’s a night gown I picked up in Vegas last week in a bag on your side of the bed. I’ll leave you to brush your teeth in peace as food should be arriving any second.”

As if on cue, his door sounded.

“Moisturise and dry your hair quickly. Not with the blow dryer, just lightly towel dry and leave it loose. Put the night gown on and then join me for dinner.”

You nodded and flicked off the shower, climbing out and wrapping a fluffy towel around your middle as he left the room, and then another around you hair.

Your brushed quickly and then padded back to his bedroom, spying the bag on his bed. Agent Provocateur. Nice one, Spencer.

Sitting down you reached into the bag and pulled out a tissue wrapped neglige. Pretty. But also very flimsy and wouldn’t cover much of you.

Obviously that was the idea.

You moisturised and lightly dried your hair, enough so that it wouldn’t drip before pulling on the ‘night gown’ and standing up.

It was made from purple lace, being almost completely sheer, the material soft and sensual on your skin. It stopped just below your butt and was sheer enough that you could see the thin strip of hair between your legs through it.

You felt incredibly sexy and desirable wearing it, it was a perfect fit, cupping your breasts just right. There was nothing else in the bag with it so you adjusted your hair slightly, and went to see what the rest of the night would hold for you.

When you entered Spencer’s living room, you could see that his dining table had been set and candles lit, music playing softly in the background.

Next to each spot was a small leather folder, the type that menu’s were presented in at restaurants. A pen was resting on top of one folder.

“Y/N, you sit here please.” He came up behind you and pressed lightly on your shoulder, pushing you towards the seat with the pen next to it.

“I must say, you look fucking sexy. Purple suits you.”

“Erm, thanks.” You sat down, the leather base on the chair cool against your butt.

Spencer disappeared back to the kitchen and bought out two plates, setting one down in front of you and in another in front of where he’d be seated.


“I wasn’t going to let you starve Y/N. But you still need to clear the plate.”

You’d expected a full plate of food you wouldn’t enjoy, but instead it was half and half.

Two separate halves of a steak, one half rare, the other well done. A small portion of vegetables and a small portion of fries.

His plate contained a full steak, and a full portion of fries. Spencer rarely ate healthily voluntarily, it was rather amazing how he remained so lean.

He must have ordered three meals.

Seating himself he poured two glasses of white wine, only filling them half way and topping them up with soda water.

“So.” He addressed you, pointedly looking at the leather bound folders.

“I was wondering when you were going to explain. So is THIS where you pull out a Christian Grey style contract.”

He laughed and pushed a loose lock of hair back.

“Nope, I told you, I don’t do that.”

“So what are these then?”

“A game.”

“A game? Isn’t this whole thing a game?”

“Essentially yes, one you stop at any time. This one though, is called Choose Your Own Adventure. It decides what we do tonight. Do you wanna play?”

Did you want to play?

You were sat in Spencer Reid’s apartment wearing a purple scrap of fabric that barely covered your nipples.

“Of course I wanna play.”

Writer in the Dark

Written For: @earthshake

Written By: @goldbravado

Pairing: Harry / OFC

Word Count: 13,064

Warnings: language, mild sexual content, alcohol consumption 


they always say behind every great man is a great woman. sometimes, they say behind every great song, there’s a great, untold story

or, a story about sweet creature and the woman behind it

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Evasive Maneuvers (reader x Bucky) [Accidents Happen part 3]

Well, I guess 3 is a trilogy, any more makes a series, right? And there will be more, so perhaps I should come up with a name for the series besides “Accidents Happen series”? I’m open to suggestions. :) 

Any who, here is part 3! It was a rough weekend full of family obligations and helping a friend move in the middle of the night so I’ve been up late tonight (Sunday) writing even though I work early tomorrow. Meh. I struggled a little more with this chapter. I had definitive scenes and funny/sexy lines I wanted to use but the transitions were harder. Phew. The last scene made me chuckle while I was writing it, though. Ha! Let me know what you think! :)

Tag List: @holycoldcoffee @anitavalija @you-and-bucky @imaginingbucky @writingruna

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in the future! 


Evasive Maneuvers (reader x Bucky)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Steve, Natasha, most of the Avengers mentioned.

Summary: Reader and Bucky trying to interact in public and hide their secret in front of the rest of the team.

Warnings: none. Just more sexy fluff. ;)

Melt with You ( Part 2)

Part 3

Never Tear Us Apart (Part 4)


Bucky had left an hour ago, despite much protesting from both of you and much more kissing in between him finding his clothing, dressing, and walking to the door.

“Okay, I’m going.”


“Really. Walking to the door. “

You follow. Kiss.

“I’m turning the door knob.” Kiss. And butt squeeze. From you.

“Hey, now!” he yelped. “I’ve got to open this door and slip out unnoticed and your hands attached to me may be found noticeable.”

You relented, one last kiss, and took a step back. He opened the door, peaked out to make sure the hallway was empty, and took another look at you with a smile.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N.” And he was gone.

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A Fuss

This ficlet is part of the Jamie Through the Stones AU which starts with Third Time’s the Charm.

This ficlet is a direct continuation from New and Growing Concerns

My Fanfiction Master List

Available on AO3 as Written in the Stones

This is an Outlander canon divergence AU ficlet.

Let me know what you think.

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This is a part two to Ashes Like Snow which I reblogged earlier.

For those who might not recognise the song, it’s Machines by Biffy Clyro. It’s a very sad but lovely song.

I would dig a thousand holes to lay next to you

It had been almost a year. Almost a year since Spencer had last held her in his arms, almost a year since that teeny tiny coffin was lowered into the ground.

Almost a year since everything changed. Everything.

He’d felt grief before, at the age he was it was natural that he’d have experienced grief. Just… Never this sort of grief.

I would dig a thousand more if I needed to

For a short period of time he’d had everything he’d ever wanted. A loving wife, a career he was passionate about. And a baby, a family; something he never actually thought he’d have. And then it was horrifically ripped away from him in the blink of an eye.

He still had the career, of course he did. It would take a lot for the Bureau to fire Reid, they did an awful lot of concession making and rule bending to keep him in the job in the first place just because of his intelligence and skills. But was he passionate about it anymore? Probably not, he didn’t feel passion about anything right now.

He still had the wife too. But to call her loving would have been a lie. Not that Spencer resented her for it. She was trying recently. Since she’d started being medicated three months ago, she had started dragging herself out of bed everyday. She had started bathing herself and cleaning house. And she had finally started talking to Spencer again and not avoiding him like he was the one who had caused their infant to die.

I look around the grave for an escape route of old routines
There doesn’t seem to be any other way

She still cried as did Spencer. He came from work only two nights okay to find her slumped outside of the nursery door, tears running down her face. She’d tried to go in there to air the room out, give it a clean. But the sight of the small white cot had tipped her over the edge. He’d pulled her into his arms and smoothed her hair, crying with her, before tugging the door to that room shut again.

Neither of them knew what to do with their feelings. Neither of them knew how to be their for each other during this time. This time that didn’t seem to have an ending.

Spencer had read plenty of books on how to deal with death and loss, but not one of them could give him a satisfying answer to the question “when would things go back to normal, when would this stop hurting as much?”

He’d tried to get back into as much of a routine as he could. Get up, go to work, work a case, come home. Hotch had excused him from being field based for as long as Spencer needed, he was working from the BAU with Garcia, only travelling locally where required. He wanted… He needed to able to get home quickly in case his wife called him, in case she needed him.

Spencer had considered followings in his wife’s footsteps and taking a trip to his doctor. As intelligent as he was, he could self diagnose though and he didn’t think he was clinically depressed.

Just very very sad and low.

Cause I’ve started falling apart I’m not savouring life
I’ve forgotten how good it could be to feel alive

He sat on the small wooden bench in front of the grave, the bench he could almost guarantee that his wife would have been sat at only hours before. The bench he’d almost had to drag her from on the day of the funeral. It was a peaceful place to be as cemeteries tended to be and Spencer always felt a sense of calm when he came here. Which was strange considering the emotion he felt when he left.

He hated leaving. He always felt like he was leaving her, his little angel who lay six feet under. His pride and joy, a child born out of love and adoration. A child so wanted, so needed. A child that was no more.

Crazy as it sounds you wont feel as low as you feel right now

His friends and colleagues had all been incredibly supportive. He didn’t know quite how he’d have made it this far without them. JJ especially had been a godsend, being the only one his wife would open up to. Her support never wavered and Spencer was thankful to have her in their lives.

Rossi had sustained them during the months his wife had confined herself to her bed. He bought meals over an a regular basis, meals he’d cooked and frozen, giving Spencer a list of heating instructions. Although she rarely ate with him to begin with, he’d come down stairs in the morning or come home from work in the evenings to find empty tupperware containers.

Derek, Aaron and Penelope had all been his ports during the very heavy storm. All three had held him whilst he’d openly sobbed at one point or another, whispering soothing words into his ear and telling him that it would eventually get better.


At least that’s what I’ve been told by everyone

When though, was what he wanted to know?

When would he stopped feeling so empty inside? When would he stop feeling like nothing would be right again?

When would he know the right things to say to his wife to make her look at him in the way she’d done a year ago.

I whisper empty sounds in your ear and hope that you won’t let go
Take the pieces and build them skywards

He stared at the grave in front of him, fresh violets laid out in front of it. It didn’t seem real that it was almost a year, that he’d sat here through the snow, sat here having springtime blossom blowing around him, sat during the baking summer and the cool autumn, the leaves crunching beneath his feet.

He was startled suddenly, his cell phone ringing in his pocket. His wife’s ring tone. He answered it, hearing incomprehensible words down the phone. She was crying. He’d be home shortly he told her, rushing to his feet and hurrying out of the cemetery.

Cause I’ve started falling apart I’m not savouring life
I’ve forgotten how good it could be to feel alive

He couldn’t find her at first. She wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. She wasn’t in any of the bedrooms and at first glance, she didn’t seem to be in the en suite bathroom.

But then he saw her, tucked away behind the door, her knees drawn up to her face and her shoulders gently racking. He closed the door and slid down next to her, hating how she flinched when he placed his arm around her.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” feeling stupid for even asking.

It was then that she pulled out a small object from beside her, handing it to him.

A pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test.

“Whaaat? When? How?”

She sniffed, hiccupping as she tried to catch her breath. Thinking about it, he didn’t even have to ask. There had only been one time since. Which meant she was about three months gone, well fourteen weeks to be precise.

I’ve started falling apart I’m not savouring life
Take the pieces and build them skywards
I’ve forgotten how good it could be to feel alive
Take the pieces and build them skywards

“I don’t…. We can’t…. Spencer…. ”

He knew what she was trying to say and he closed his eyes.

“If you really don’t, then we don’t have to.”

It wasn’t something he’d imagined happening so quickly. He could hardly imagine having another child so soon after putting one into the ground.

But now it had happened, a tiny spark had lit inside of him. A spark that he could feel fast extinguishing.

“We just can’t…. What if the same thing happens?”

She was becoming more understandable now, her breathing more under control. She turned to look at him and Spencer tentatively reached out with his hand, catching her falling tears and wiping them away.

“What if it doesn’t?” he asked her. For SIDS to occur twice to the same couple would be very very unfortunate and also very unlikely.

“What if this happening now is a sign?What if this is what we need, what our marriage needs, what WE need.”

What if this new baby was going to be the answer? The turning point, the thing that helped rebuild the pieces of their broken lives.

“I…. What if I can’t… What if I can’t love it the same though? What if I can’t love it or I can’t be a mother to it?”

“You won’t love it the same. Because you don’t love every person the same, sweetheart. If you do this, if WE do this, you’ll love it differently as will I. Because it will be a different baby, a different person. Not a replacement, not a substitute. It will be our new baby, a new beginning for us. And you know what?”

“What?” her voice was quiet, her eyes searching his.

“It would be extra loved, and have extra protection. Because their big sister will be watching over them from above and looking out for them. This could be our gift from her, her way of telling us it’s time to move on. Not to forget her though, because that will never ever happen.”

“No, it won’t. It can’t.”

Spencer felt hope suddenly, a lightness in his heart that he hadn’t felt for months. But he didn’t want to push anything, he couldn’t make her do this if she wasn’t ready. He wouldn’t want to make her do this if she wasn’t ready.

So he waited.

Take the pieces and build them skywards
Take the pieces and build them skywards

“Spencer…. Can we really do this?”

“If you want to. Only if you want to.”

“I think…. I think. Maybe I do.”

Take the pieces and build them up to the sky.  


@hanny-bananny @original-criminal-fanfics

@katekat-lions @matthewgublers @hotchnerfuckmeup

anonymous asked:

Hi! Love you guys! Any give where Steve and bucky are Peter (parkers) dads/adoptive dads? Thank you!!

Try these:

this is not a drive by by plutos

“God, he can’t stop smiling, and it must be infectious because a slow grin is stretching across Steve’s face, and now he’s the one looking at Bucky from up under his eyelashes and asking, “How have we not met before?”

And, really, that’s the question isn’t it.”

Otherwise known as: The Bucky Barnes Hot Dad AU or The One Where Steve Crashes All Of Bucky’s Dates Without Really Trying

All Those Things You’ve Always Pined For by LavenderProse

“Steve Rogers. I haven’t thought about him in…God, at least ten years. Probably longer.“
“Who is he?” Sharon asks, and perches on the corner of his desk, hands folded in her lap. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Bucky clears his throat, tosses the sticky note onto the desk. “Steve was…my college boyfriend. We almost got married.”

It’s been fifteen years since Bucky Barnes left Steve Rogers standing in a New York airport and never saw him again. Those fifteen years have brought him wealth and stability; everything his lower middle class Brooklyn upbringing had not provided. He is happy. He doesn’t want for anything.
He doesn’t need anything.
That’s about to change.

You look as Good as the Day I Met You by ColorCoated

Here’s the thing: Steve has a good life.

It took him a few years to pull it together, but he really did. He has his city, a fulfilling job, his people: Peggy, Peter, and Sam. He really has it all. The pain that burned through him when Bucky left was long gone. He’d grown up, grown past, and moved on.

Or at least he thought he had. He’d buried those feelings so deep and moved past him. But staring at Bucky was making things bubble up, and he wasn’t even sure what he was feeling. He was so certain that Bucky was in his past and that he was over him. That certainty seemed to waver a bit as Steve’s mouth went dry just looking at his ex-boyfriend.

Giving it my Best Shot (/others) by imbouncingoffthewalls

The Fault in Our Stars AU.

Towards the end of my seventeenth winter, my pops decided that I was depressed. That was probably because I sort of never left the house, spent a whole bunch of time in my bed, read this one book over and over and rarely ate. Also, I thought a lot about death.

Ice cream, Trix, and Cherries by AryaWinchester

Bucky just wants to get some dinner, but this kid is annoying him!

There might be some more in this Ao3 search.



❝ the fuck are you? ❞
❝ and i thought i would have a future by now. ❞
❝ ____! dildos in my dressing room again?! ❞
❝ i said no dairy! are you trying me make me blow these kids across the parking lot?! ❞
❝ the hell is that in your hand? ❞
❝ oh, its a mold of the policeman’s penis. ❞
❝ hide these, now! ❞
❝ you’re fucking disgusting, you know that? ❞
❝ you need therapy. ❞
❝ don’t fuck up my show. ❞
❝ you should fire that guy. ❞
❝ get back here you gremlin! ❞
❝ the worst part is i’m still alive. ❞
❝ i’m a hungry bitch. ❞
❝ i want him gone! ❞
❝ fuckin’ kill yourself, vegetables! ❞
❝ well somebody’s a salty shrimp today. ❞
❝ it’s margarine you bitch. ❞
❝ she’s right, and that says a lot because she’s a woman. ❞
❝ i can’t hear you, i’m angry. ❞
❝ first off, school is a waste of time and i don’t trust the judgement of anyone willing to attend it. ❞
❝ the airhorn will be blown in your face every time you piss me off. ❞
❝ the topic of this weeks episode is every child’s nightmare: bad grammar. ❞
❝ bitch, puberty hit you. ❞
❝ i just threw up in my mouth. ❞
❝ divorce is about children coming to terms with what they caused! ❞
❝ help yourself out the door! ❞
❝ he’s easy on the eyes. ❞
❝ i fuckin’ hate this job. ❞
❝ i thought you were gay! ❞
❝ and to think i was going to let you measure my vagina! ❞
❝ i ate a rare candy and i think i need to get my stomach pumped! ❞
❝ run your stupid ass to the pick n’ save and buy some goddamn sugar! ❞
❝ help! i don’t think the bathroom is real! ❞
❝ if i wanted to know what day of the week it was, i would’ve hired a calendar. ❞
❝ go stand in your corner. ❞
❝ mommy and daddy are getting divorced and it’s all your fault. ❞
❝ mommy doesn’t want you, and daddy doesn’t love you–– ❞
❝ i’ve gotta go do my pre-show jack off. ❞
❝ don’t worry, we still have camera two–– ❞
❝ so when mommy and daddy leave each other, it’s a good thing! ❞
❝ mommy! leave daddy for my birthday! ❞