Here’s to my survivor’s without mothers.

With abusive mothers.

With people they no longer even call by that name.

You? do not have to feel guilty about not loving her.

You? Do not have to feel guilty about loving her.

You? Do not have to feel guilty about having conflicting feelings.

You are not required to call or write this weekend.

You are not required to show up or give her a gift

but also-

you are still valid if you do. Whether because you want to or because you feel you need to for safety or any other reason.

You are valid. You do not have to be grateful in spite of what they did. You do not have to forgive just because of who she is. Family isn’t always the strongest bond.

and you don’t have to pretend it is or feel shame for your feelings.

Take care of yourself, okay?

seductivejellyfish asked:

People are always talking about how hades and Persephone have the best chillest relationship and stuff, but didn't hades still literally kidnap and trap Persephone? Is it really consensual?

I think it’s important to look at the relationship in terms of its historical context. Don’t forget that in the times when the myth was first conceived, consent wasn’t exactly a concept. 

We’re talking about Hades, a mythological figure whose male contemporaries in lore got their ladies by such tricks as disguising themselves as their husbands (Zeus and Alcmene), lulling them into a false sense of security by appearing to them as animals and then kidnapping them (Zeus and Europa), and literally chasing them and holding them down as they had their way with them (Peleus and Thetis). Rape was the norm in these myths. Historically speaking, women of the time were kind of just expected to go along with whatever a man expected of them. As in the case of the aforementioned myth of Peleus and Thetis, the woman essentially belonged to the man (Thetis was given to Peleus by Zeus), and a man could not violate his own property. 

It may not have been recognised as rape at the time - remember that consent is, as previously mentioned, a comparatively recent idea - but actions such as those of Hades would not necessarily have been viewed with such repulsion as we view them today.

So, in short: no, it wasn’t consensual. The myth of Hades and Persephone, whether or not you view it as a rape or a kidnapping - the translation is not 100% clear on that point, although there doesn’t seem to be a sexual element to the initial event - is definitely not the romantic tale that a lot of people these days like to perceive it as being. The most empowered reading possible whilst remaining faithful to a translation and not being overly fanciful with modern interpretation is that Persephone was kidnapped by Hades but later consented to being his wife by eating the pomegranate seeds. That’s as much agency as we can accurately give Persephone; there are modern feminist readings which claim that Persephone consented to being with Hades, or that she ran away with him of her own volition, but that’s not backed up by the actual texts if you’re looking at it from a historical viewpoint. It’s a much more palatable version of events in alignment with our modern perspective and beliefs, and it’s certainly a way of using the text to ask questions about consent and agency in a modern context, but it’s not the version of events that the Ancient Greeks needed to hear in order to adhere to their own ideology. 

However, in comparison to the other marriages / relationships described in Greek mythology, and taking into account the marriage of Hades and Persephone within the context of the society in which the myth originated, then yes, it’s comparatively chill as fuck. Both parties were entirely faithful according to most canons (Orphic tradition differs slightly on that point) and despite their childless marriage, they are usually depicted as being a very successful marital unit, jointly ruling the Underworld with equal power. 

Although Persephone’s agreement to her initial entrance into the marital contract is somewhat sketchy and really does depend on the nuances you give the text, and whether or not you choose to read it historically or with a modern eye, her actual role as Hades’ wife is much more elevated than might be expected. As queen of the Underworld, Persephone was not merely an accessory to Hades’ rule. Instead, she took an incredibly active role in ensuring that people who were meant to be dead were, in fact, dead. She became hugely feared by those who worshipped her, on a level equal to - if not even higher than - Hades himself. She was no victim of circumstance according to her cult; she was a venerated, dreaded queen, and, possibly more than any other goddess - even those goddesses who never lost their sexual agency, such as Artemis - she became a hugely powerful female figure in her own right, away from her role as wife. 

tl;dr if you were to try and get someone to marry you today in the way that Hades married Persephone, you would be rightfully put in jail for a very long time. However, times were different back then, and it’s important to keep that in mind - be aware that that shit wouldn’t fly today, but remember that, unfortunately, the acceptable elevation levels of that aforementioned shit have not always been as they are now, and within the now repellent confines of that archaic context, Persephone got a pretty good deal.

Here’s to my survivors who are mothers-

To the survivors who had children with their abusers,

to the survivors who are dealing with trauma while also raising a child-

I am honored to know you. You are doing so much, and I know it rarely feels like enough, I know you’re worried about how your own trauma history might affect your child.

I know being a survivor feels like a full time job on it’s own, as does being a mother- but you are doing the best you can juggling both worlds.

And you are allowed to rest. You are allowed to stop fighting for a while. You’re allowed to take a break. I know the world feels like it’s on your shoulders, but it will not all come crumbling down if you take a few hours for yourself.

Take care of yourself, okay?

anonymous asked:

I can not understand why everyone is "poor Regina" when the victim was Robin. Ok he is a bad character, but he slept with Zelena thinking she was Marian. I was wrong thinking that this whole situation Robin / Zelena / Marian could bring the case of Graham but no, it was another opportunity to make Regina the victim again.

I will never understand how anyone can EVER feel sorry for Regina at this point. 

But really, literally every effing storyline in this show winds up being SOME reason to throw another pity party for Regina, the unrepentant mass murderer. And that is why it’s going so steeply downhill. 

And because of that, they can’t POSSIBLY admit that Zelena raped Robin because that would imply that male rape victims actually exist, which might lead to people remembering the first male rape victim in this show, and they apparently want us to forget that Graham ever existed since his atrocious treatment reflects so poorly on their pwecious Regina. 

anonymous asked:

I sent a pro life blog an ask saying that no matter their efforts, abortion will always happen and the only thing they will accomplish is making a botched abortion more likely, endangering the lives of people. They haven't responded haha.

They’ve all been told this multiple times before but they simply don’t care. Lots of them will come back with bullshit like “SHOULD WE MAKE RAPE ILLEGAL CAUSE RAPISTS MIGHT INJURE THEMSELVES WHILE RAPING SOMEONE??? without bothering to acknowledge that neither consensual sex nor preserving your bodily integrity are crimes while rape definitely is, or be like “NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY DIED THE NUMBERS ARE OFF” like that somehow justifies it.

Restricting a freedom that everyone has in a way that will lead to injury and death is indefensible.

-V

Starting May 15th SCaR will be taking submissions about Reporting.

Submissions may be posts on your personal blog with selfcareafterrape in the tags or the link sent to SCaR or they can be emailed to SCaR at Selfcareafterrape@gmail.com.

While you can write as much or as little as you like about your experience- SCaR would like to know the following information if at all possible:

A. Who did you report to? (Police, University, Other?) What was reported? (Rape, Abuse, etc)

B. What was the initial reaction?

C. What followed? Was there a trial? Was there an inquiry? Were you provided with any resources?

D. How did reporting make you feel on a personal level?

E.  If you had to give any advice to someone looking to report, what would it be?

SCaR will be posting these experiences through out the month of June. You are also welcome to submit any artwork/poetry/that sort of thing that came out of your reporting experience. 

anonymous asked:

The promo seems to imply that Snow is controlling Charming's heart... I really, really hope it'll be different than the Graham/Regina situation. I don't want another case of rape, even if it's "only" in the AU

It’s different in the sense that Snow is not making the decision, she’s being controlled by someone else just like she and Charming were under the influence of Regina’s curse when David was ‘cheating’ on Kathryn.

But it’s still potentially a creepy dub con or rape situation.

no help | charlie + lana

Charlie was doing his rounds in the town hall, establishing what was going on with everyone. The mayor had talked about grim things — some awful solution to the potential lack of supplies in the near future — and he was just ready to sleep that information off. He wasn’t at risk, being someone that worked for the mayor, so he could live with what was going to happen.

Hearing noises coming from one of the closed doors, Charlie was interested. Was someone either doing the nasty or jerking off in town hall? While there were others still there? The door opened, with another town hall employee quickly exiting.

He was definitely caught off guard by seeing Lanastill  in there, especially seeing so much skin. It was disappointing when she covered up her breasts — Charlie had waited so long to see any of that. But that feeling was overshadowed by the knowledge that Lana was with other men.

“What are you thinking?”

I am finally liking people and being liked by people without constantly always worrying that they will rape me. I want to kiss someone, a male someone even, and I am not worried at all that he will rape me if I do! This is HUGE, this is a huge immense change, and it is scary almost, but it is very very good.

This is getting into some feminist media theory so so apologize in advance for that.

Basically, it bothers me that rape is so often used as a dramatic device in media to the point that it’s a trope unto itself. Of you want to make a man at hero, you hurt a woman and if you want to make a woman a hero you hurt her. When I was writing Any Port in a Storm, I actually had people worried I was going to have Belle be raped at which point I assured everyone that I’d never do that.

Fast forward a year and I’m doing it. So there is an element of hypocrisy to that story.

Which, of course, was all settled before I started getting all the comments about how inspiring it is. At this point I feel like it kind of exists in a similar cultural space to Law & Order: SVU. I am using rape (or rape aftermath, to be more specific) for drama, but at the same time I’ve created a world where Belle is believed and everyone important feels sorry for her and wants to help her, and where she has the ability to have a happy ending and recover from what happened.

I do still feel bad for adding to the insane amount of stories about rape in western media, but I don’t feel bad about which one I contributed if that makes sense.

My major problem is that this story doesn’t exist in a vacuum. I feel guilt for the same reason I’d have felt guilt about Belle in Silence is Golden getting her speech back. It would have made sense in story, but it would have contributed to the trend of a disabled character losing her disability as part of her happy ending.

#rape

My ffuckingg roommate raped my fucjing friend in my OWn house last fcjing. Night and I didn’t know I didn’t know omfg that fucking wyf

We kicking him out of the house he can’t stay with us my poor friend I don’t know what to dk

anonymous asked:

I'm not even sure if what I went through was rape, because I had consented and then I asked him to slow down and he pinned me down and did the exact opposite but I was too shocked to even process it at the time and didn't start to think of it as rape for months. but ever since i keep getting stuck in these terrible anxiety loops that last hours and i can't do anything but act out my anxiety behaviours. i just can't seem to process it and it's hurting me so much. please help. was i raped?

When we tell someone to slow up or that we’re okay to have sex but not ______ or only if it’s _______- that is what is called conditional consent.

I consent but only if.

saying slow down? means slow down.

and he chose not only to not slow down, but to pin you down (which is an act of aggression and in many cases, a threat.) and do the opposite.

You gave conditional consent- he did not follow those conditions.

Thus? it’s non consent and you have every right to consider that rape. 

anonymous asked:

You know what I've noticed? No prolifer panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! (The plan that pregnant people have to sacrifice themselves for a fetus). If, tomorrow, we tell prolifers a pregnant person will die from complications or a 10 year old will be forced to carry a pregnancy from rape, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when we say that one little fetus will be aborted, well then they loses their minds!

i’m so fucking happy that the top post in the gamzee search is my post about people prentending him being abused is justified cause that means at least some of this fandom is sane.

but can we just? not say things that never happened in canon like they’re a fact? jfc he did not ever rape anyone? idk where you got that from? Maybe you confused him with mindfang????

4

At night we heard shooting. Rounds fired from rifles. There were gendarmes in the streets, signalling with their whistles. At night, the whistling got louder. We all woke up and could hear how they entered Armenian homes. It was organized groups, the “Fire and Thunder” gangs. They attacked rich families or families with good-looking daughters. They abducted the girls, stole the valuables and murdered the parents and the authorities did nothing. I used to sleep in my mother’s arms. I woke up and she wasn’t in bed. I am frightened. Bang, bang, bang go the rifles. I look out the window and see mum with three or four other people. I run to mum and I am standing there among the women. My mother said: “What are you doing here? Go back to bed!” I got even more frightened and went back to bed. I could still hear the rifle fire. The women said: “No! They’ve got Santukhd.” “Oh no!” the women wailed. They took the girl and their money. Santukhd was a beautiful girl. Yes, they took away the girls- to rape them or do whatever they wanted with them. They turned my Armenian hometown into one giant brothel. Our homes were turned into whorehouses. One prostitute, living in our block, had a dog. The dog was always pawing at our door. Up until 1937, when I had to leave. all the Turks still had Armenian girls in their homes. They picked the good-lookers, from the deportation centers, for their brides. I often can’t sleep at night. I remember my childhood. I don’t sleep. I try not to think about it, but it’s impossible not to. I just can’t forget. It’s impossible. I cannot forget Mum. They took my mother. They killed my father. I told you how they deceived my father and then killed him. I grew up an orphan. Thank god we have Armenia. God was merciful. 

Testimony of Maria Vartanyan, a 100+ year-old survivor of the Armenian Genocide, in the film Grandma’s Tattoos