rap (genre)


Afro-Futurism In Music

Sun Ra- Space Is The Place

Parliament Funkadelic- Mothership Connection

Outkast- ATliens

Deltron 3030- Event

Kode9 & Spaceape- Memories Of The Future

Janelle Monae- The Archandroid

TheeSatisfaction- Earthee

Clipping- Splendor And Misery

Shabazz Palaces- Quazarz: Born On A Gangster Star

Shabazz Palaces- Quazarz: Vs The Jealous Machines

I only know show tunes
  • Person: What kind of music do you listen to?
  • Me: *thinks about the fact that I haven't listened to anything but musicals the past year*
  • Me: It's really a variety

if i see one more person complaining that they miss the old atl and that their sound has changed then i swear to god like bish they’ve been together like 14 years??? are u really expecting that in that time they haven’t grown or changed at all??? frankly i’m just grateful to be on this journey with such a well deserved band, and i couldn’t care less if they put out heavy metal korean rap i’m still gonna support them and not complain when they make music they love

One of the worst things about being a teenage girl is having to prove your music taste as well as your intelligence because people think the two are related. If you like pop music, you’re a mindless idiot who is incapable of intelligent thought or having an informed opinion. All you care about is the top 40, selfies, and Starbucks. You don’t exist outside of social media. If you like male dominated genres, like rap or rock, you need to prove that you aren’t a “fake fan” by rattling of names, albums, years, tours, etc. because obviously you just like them because you only have the capability of liking the boys that like the music. Teenage girls deserve to discover and listen to music, please just let girls love music.



Don’t Care About the Presents (M)

Originally posted by holy-yoongi

Summary: It’s that time of year again, and for your friend group’s annual secret Santa this time, Namjoon has you. Which means that this year, his gift has to be perfect. However, sometimes it’s not the material gifts that are the best ones.

Member: Namjoon

Word Count: 6.2k+

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warning: Smut, Painfully cheesy fluff to the point that characters call themselves out on it

A/N: Part of the Christmas collab with @cremesuga, @jungkxook, @haniwritesbtsstuff, @jiminniemouse, @inktae, and @jungblue! I also have an unhealthy obsession with those damn Ryan pajamas help me. Also I hope no one’s lactose intolerant because this is filled with cheeseeeee.

Namjoon is glad that there are websites that do secret Santa drawings for you now, because if he had drawn your name while in the same room with you, there’d be no hiding how he felt about this current situation. Which was a complete mess. Hands shaking, heart racing, red in the face kind of mess.

However, now he has to deal with his roommate judging him as he flails in front of his computer screen, which now displays you name. And Min Yoongi knows how to judge.

“Calm down. You look like one of those things they put outside car dealerships.” Yoongi flicks the back of Namjoon’s head as he passes behind him, on his way to flop down on the couch.

“You don’t understand, man.” Namjoon lets out a groan before burying his face in his hands. “Like, I know I can’t tell you because it’s supposed to be secret Santa—"

“You got Y/N, I knew it the second I heard you squealing from my room.” Yoongi’s tone is flat, almost bored, as he picks up the remote and starts flipping through the channels.

“Squealing, what? I wasn’t squealing.” Namjoon’s arms cross over his chest as he lets out a huff of air.

“I mean, that was the highest I’ve ever heard your voice go.” Yoongi sighs as he shuts the TV off, unable to find anything to watch. “So, when’s the wedding? I know a ring is probably outside of the price range for a typical secret Santa but…”

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Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Note:  I remember I sent @cyphertrip a ton of anons about post-first-time with Namjoon for her kinky Mondays (the blessed day), and I’m here to actually write this into reality.  This is not part of the end of year kink meme 2016 since no one requested anything like this but… 

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Rating: NC17-ish, but more M-ish
Genre: romance, smut (kind of)
Warnings: first time sex (disjointed flashbacks)
Word Count: 2689

Summary:  The memory of last night is fresh in both Namjoon’s mind and yours while you try your best to have an innocent date.




Today marks the three hundred sixty-sixth day since you said yes to dating Kim Namjoon.  Your one-year anniversary is today, and you wake up at exactly 6AM by force of habit despite having spent the night tossing and turning. You’re meeting Namjoon later for brunch at some ridiculously expensive French restaurant (his treat).  And you made a surprise reservation for two at a high-end Korean fusion restaurant for dinner (your treat).  In between meals, the two of you were going to spend time doing normal, cutesy couple things, the details of which were to be determined as the two of you walked around town.  

You and Namjoon had this day planned out for a good month, and you had even scheduled time off from work to enjoy a nice, long three-day weekend with your boyfriend.  It was supposed to be a relaxing day to enjoy each other’s company and to have some lighthearted fun.  

But you are the furthest thing from relaxed as you step into the shower to get ready, your mind a complete, fumbling mess as you replay the events of eight hours ago and how Namjoon had taken your virginity in the quiet, comfortable space of his room.  

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Why Questlove’s 201-Song Playlist For Keith Olbermann Is Bigger Than Hip-Hop

When it comes to music history, Questlove is an Afro-pick rocking compendium of knowledge. So when the co-founder of The Roots got wind that Keith Olbermann’s come-lately compliment of Eminem’s Trump smackdown was couched within a tweet that seemed to dismiss the entire genre of rap, he vowed to take the progressive pundit to school. Questlove created a monster playlist that is more than 10 hours long but contains not one solitary rap song.

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telling a mix person (black and white race) or actual black person that they’re not black enough is extremely damaging. and again……what makes someone “black” to begin with…

is having dark skin, saying nigga all the time, listening to rap and suppose to know every rapper in the world, only listening rap and no other genre, having fake hair, or being belligerent categorizes you as a black persons???????? no. that shit mad ignorant.

knowing the history, understanding the struggle that is still dealt with today and standing up for our rights and other POC’s rights. look at the bigger and more realistic picture.


Police harassment leads to crowd singing Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright”

Musikk - Music

(en) Akkord - Chord
Akustisk - Acoustic
(et) Album - Album
(en) Artist - Artist (*only in music!! a person who makes art would be “kunstner”)
(en) Ballade - Ballad
(et) Refreng - Chorus
(en) Duett - Duet
(ei/en) Guttegruppe - Boyband
(en) Harmoni - Harmony
Klassisk musikk - Classical music
(en) Konsert - Concert
(et) Kor - Choir
(en) Kvartett - Quartet
(en) Melodi - Melody
(en) Mikrofon - Microphone
(en) Musikal - Musical
(en) Musikkvideo - Music video
(en) Note - Note
(en) Oktav - Octave
(en) Opera - Opera
(et) Orkester - Orchestra
(et) Preludium - Prelude
(et) Publikum - Audience
(et) Rekviem - Requiem
(et) Rim - Rhyme
(en) Rytme - Rhythm
(en) Salme - Hymn
(en) Sang - Song
(en) Sanger - Singer
(en) Sangerinne - Female singer
(en) Sangtekst - Lyrics
(en) Sjanger - Genre
(en) Sonate - Sonata
(en) Stemme - Voice
(en) Streng - String
(en) Symfoni - Symphony
(en) Tone - Tone
(en) Toneart - Key
(en) Tonehøyde - Pitch
(et) Vers - Verse


(en) Banjo - Banjo
(en) Bass - Bass
(en) Fiolin - Violin
(ei/en) Fele - Fiddle
(ei/en) Fløyte - Flute
(en) Gitar - Guitar
(ei/en) Harpe - Harp
(et) Instrument - Instrument
(en) Klarinett - Clarinet
(et) Munnspill - Harmonica
(et) Orgel - Organ
(et) Piano - Piano
(en) Saksofon - Saxophone
(et) Trekkspill - Accordion
(ei/en) Tromme - Drum
(en) Trompet - Trumpet
(en) Tuba - Tuba

This Poem Is Called Autistic Rage (All My Poems Are Called Autistic Rage) 2.12.16

never been in the scene, any scene
never been much one for being seen,
never kept a rhythm and i never caught a beat,
never saw much brighter than the light off the screen.
check the shine on those stars that youre stuck in between -
don’t fight it, keep quiet, be grateful
you wouldn’t get hate if you dint wear the label
girls like you hardly count as disabled
you’re lucky girl cus you pretty much pass,
lucky girl you get to be top of the class,
almost normal, so intelligent
can barely even tell that you’re out of your element
you couldn’t be a retard and be this eloquent
its evident that where we’re at is not exactly heaven
or the resident devil living in the seventh level:
its limbo, a settlement in the centre,
purgatory tenements: you’ll be here forever
enter stage left, exeunt right never
always sick, never dying
always floating, never flying
always tripping, never falling
hearing voices, no one’s calling

we won our rights in ‘95
the right to be told that work is life,
the right to be told to look you in the eye,
the right to diluted, long-disputed, weak and muted legislation  
well i guess let’s have a party cus we’ve fixed discrimination
30% of our families living in deprivation,
got certification that we’re living in a nation
that’s eleven points deep in human rights violation
underfunded hospitals, daily degradation,
and piss-poor fuckall media representation:
keep your Rain Man Oscar-gimmick Paralympic skys-the-limit bullshit:
we’re ‘such an inspiration’
but you still aint gonna take your kids to get their vaccinations
you don’t know shit about it but you know you gotta fear it
you say you want awareness, take one day out the year for it
and if we spell it out for you,
are you gonna hear it?
are you gonna see it?
are you gonna live it
are you gonna be it?
or have you got a puzzle
and you’ll try to fit me in it?

dont give a shit what the dog in the nighttime did
dont give a shit about your cousin’s neighbour’s girlfriend’s kid.
‘oh but he acts nothing like you’
well, obviously. he’s six fuckin years old.
what did you expect, we’d be birds of a feather?
that every one of us can be lumped together?
am i somewhere on the spectrum?
yeah, im fuckin riding it,
one day im yelling it,
one day im hiding it,
but ask me straight and i’d never deny it
another madhouse brit gliding lit around a lemniscate
a rainbow on a figure-eight,
not a neurotypical
not a fuckin innocent:
a full-colour kaleidoscope, my mental age is infinite

if im an epidemic i’ll get everyone infected,
a pathogenic in the system till it gives in and collapses
fuck the back-to-work interviews
the spare bedroom taxes,
the ‘mercy-killings’ in the news
the stairs-only access,
Damien Green and the DWP and Autism Speaks
and anyone who ever thought they’d speak for me
this slant and sloping playing field 
and Andrew fucking Wakefield

they built power on a mountain and if i never reach the peak ill be
another body on the path to mark the route you seek
a guiding-sign in blood defined, a kind of hope when times are bleak:
because all the things for which we fight,
solidarity and love and rights, equality and food and life,
is fought across the generations and not all of us survive
we can only start to lead the way
and hope our freedom comes with time.

AU List

Oh. my. god. Huge ass AU list done with byrdboiv

Part 1 | Part 2


  • ‘I’m a student teacher at your school and you’re a senior who keeps on trying to ask me out in your free periods – I mean, I would because you’re only younger than me by like, five years ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM, and you’re kind of totally my type? But hey, I’ve got to keep some sense of professionalism’ AU
  • ‘I’m a basketball coach in the year above you from your brother/sister school, and you’re that kid who can’t ball for shit, has friends in the team I’m coaching, and told me that I was really short and had really pretty eyes, you’re distracting me my team, fight me in the PIT, motherfucker’ AU
  • ‘I’m part of the IT at the school you work at, and you’re a drama teacher – you keep asking me for help with the sound and lighting even though we both know that’s the job for the deputy principal’s sound and lighting kids’ AU
  • ‘I’m your best bro and you’re my best bro, we used to have broners for each other but now I have a romantic boner for you, bro, and I don’t know about you. I’m sorry, bro. All the homo’ AU
  • ‘I’m in your Mathematics class and you sit next to me, whispering words of encouragement after my teacher verbally bodyslams me for my epic math fails’ AU
  • ‘I’m a 500% troublemaker and you’re a 500% goody two-shoes and we’re both in the Student Representative Council – who will come out on top? (Not in the sexual way, oh my God is this really happening I had no idea you had it in you, we’re both minors but I don’t think either of us could care less; so much for you being good.)’ AU
  • ‘I’m really hungry and I forgot my lunch and I have no money to buy food at the canteen, and you just passed me a $10 bill, I am 10000% willing to become you sex slave right now, bless the ground you walk on, O Benevolent One’ AU
  • ‘I’m walking past the basketball courts and you’re just lying in the centre of the courts. Staring into the sky. I’m going to join you’ AU
  • ‘I’m in your P.E. class and you’ve been doing a plank for 5 solid minutes, are you an Olympian or something??’ AU
  • ‘I’m a VA student and I fucking hate basketball to the nth degree but my teacher wants me to paint a basketball hoop and backboard for my assignment and fuckyou you’re playing on my reference, move aside bitch’ AU
  • ‘I do Latin and so do you, but you’re in a year below me and ask me for help a lot because your pronunciation may be great but your grammar is not’ AU
  • ‘I’m working part-time at a fast food joint and holy fuck, you and your friends just came to order stuff and oh no I have this huge fat crush on you because you’re always so nice to everyone and to me, I hope you don’t notice the fear in my Customer Service Smile™’ AU
  • ‘I do notifications over the PA every morning and you like my voice??? You want to ask me out for coffee????? Like, right now?????? School has already started???????You’re in Year 9 and I’m in Year 11 and I do NOT want you to skip school just for this?????????????’ AU
  • ‘We’re both in a school volleyball team and we’re the only ones not here for the gay volleyball anime (well, maybe)’ AU
  • ‘We’re both in a school basketball team and we’re the only ones not here for that one gay basketball anime (well, not really)’ AU
  • ‘We’re both in the same swimming squad and hell yeah are we here for the gay swimming anime’ AU
  • ‘I’m a VA student and you’ve been bringing me food for the past month after school when I’ve been working on my artwork, even though we’re in brother/sister schools and I only really get to talk to you at our interschool vocals club and/or on Facebook (which is really rare, to be honest), I really need to pay you back, does my eternal love and devotion (or dedication of my artwork to you) suffice?’ AU
  • ‘We’re married teachers in the Science faculty and the students keep on making jokes about us having chemistry, please bury me’ AU
  • ‘I have a TAFE account and you’re begging me for it – are you really willing to give me what you’re offering, I mean, an entire cake, your virginity and your first born child is not something that should be bartered for something you could Google at home’ AU
  • ‘We just snuck into the movies together because our friends dared us to get in, watch a movie and get back out without getting caught, hell yeah, this isn’t a date by the way what are you saying, fuck, this movie’s sad, fuck, I’m not crying, fuck, you’re holding me in your arms and it feels right, fUCK’ AU
  • ‘I’m part of the IT at the school you work at, and you’re a drama teacher – you keep asking me for help with the sound and lighting even though we both know that’s the job for the deputy principal’s sound and lighting kids’ AU
  • ‘I’m a basketball coach in the year above you from your brother/sister school, and you’re that kid who can’t ball for shit, has friends in the team I’m coaching, and told me that I was really short and had really pretty eyes, you’re distracting me my team, fight me in the PIT, motherfucker’ AU
  • ‘I’m a student teacher at your school and you’re a senior who keeps on trying to ask me out in your free periods – I mean, I would because you’re only younger than me by like, five years ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM, and you’re kind of totally my type? But hey, I’ve got to keep some sense of professionalism’ AU
  • ‘Your notes are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever been graced with, and what the fuck, how can you even do this when our history teacher talks rapid-fire’ AU
  • ‘I leaned over your shoulder to see the creative writing piece you’ve been working on for the past hour, and oh my gosh????? You’re that writer in the school magazine with the mysterious alias, and I admire you so much???? Did you sell your soul to the devil to reach that level of eloquence tell me your sECRET’ AU


Fast Food Outlet

  • I work at McDonalds and you’re the fuckface who tries to order my number with a 24pck of chicken nuggets and a large strawberry sundae every single fucking time (I mean, I’d give you my number if you bought a chocolate sundae instead, strawberry is wrong)’
  • I work at KFC, why in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, did you buy six 450ml servings of mash potato, sit down at a table close by, open each of them up and drink them all.
  • I’m a Domino’s Pizza deliveryman and you just bought 20 pizzas, there’s not even a party at your house? Are you going to eat this all yourself in one go? Are you just bulk buying so you can reheat it later and not bother calling us up again? Pizza’s way better fres– fuck, you’re crying, what do I do, they didn’t teach me this in my training.
  • I’m working part-time at a fast food joint and holy fuck, you and your friends just came to order stuff and oh no I have this huge fat crush on you because you’re always so nice to everyone and to me, I hope you don’t notice the fear in my Customer Service Smile™.
  • ‘As an employee, I shouldn’t be saying this, but it is NOT nutritionally acceptable to eat here every day. Drop by after my shift ends and I’ll cook you some real food’ AU

Convenience/Greengrocer store AU

  • ‘I’m a convenience store owner and you’re asking me whether the $2 or $3 noodles are better, I like both of them, what do I say, you’re looking at me with bigass puppydog eyes, I am fucked’ AU
  • ‘I’m your local greengrocer’s cashier and you’ve been staring at the tomatoes for over 15 minutes now, Jimmy, hold the register’ AU
  • ‘Why on earth are you holding that fruit to your ear like you can hear the fucking sea or something’ AU

Technological Store AU

  • ‘I work in JB-HiFi and you come in and ask me if I could help you find your friend who is a) missing and b) has a huge thirst for Kanye West and Jay-Z, shall we go to the CDs? They might be in the Rap genre section…’ AU
  • ‘How did you manage to fuck this up so badly’ AU

Dentist AU

  • ‘I think you look very attractive but there’s not much dignity I can muster when you’re holding my mouth open with these goddamn contraptions from hell and my mouth’s starting to fill with saliva’ AU
  • ‘I’m a dental assistant and you’re really cute, even with a bajillion black stains and mildly bad breath’ AU
  • ‘You’re not seriously going to put that in my mouth, are you’ AU

Sports Coach AU

  • ‘I’m a single parent and you’re my kid’s volleyball coach, I’m sorry I introduced them to Haikyuu!! how can I make it up to you?’ AU
  • ‘I’ve been tasked with this feeble looking teen who can’t do push ups for shit’ AU

Librarian AU

  • ‘I’m a library assistant and you’re the person who comes in every week with 100000000 kids and still manages to keep them all in check, you are amazing’ AU
  • ‘We have a self-checkout system, but ever week you unfailingly turn up at my desk and OH MY GOD IS THAT GERONIMO STILTON’ AU
  • ‘I must say your taste in books is beautiful, can I take you out for coffee?’ AU
  • ‘You’re balancing a pile of fifteen books in your arms and you look like you’re about to fall any moment now’ AU

Wedding Planner AU

  • ‘I’m a wedding planner and you’re the wedding photographer, I agree with you completely, this couple is absolutely disgusting – they need to stop with all the sappiness and frills and make out sessions in front of you when you’re trying to ask them about what they want in their actual wedding, yeah, let’s get lots of cheap alcohol at a bar somewhere, together, after this whole ordeal is done (and maybe make our own wedding a lot less cringeworthy)’ AU

Bakery AU

  • ‘I work at a bakery and you’re the person that buys a smiley face cupcake every single day, I swear to God stop smiling at me like that, like, that’s the cupcake’s job’ AU
  • ‘Do you really want to give a dick cake to your niece?’ AU
  • ‘That comes to six hundred dollars in total’ AU

Office Jobs AU

  • ‘I’m in a boring corporate business job and you’re in the cubicle in front of mine, did you just send me a paper aeroplane with the words “WASSSSSSUPPPP TURN UP BITCHEZ” written on it?’ AU
  • ‘I never usually go to workplace drinking sessions but since you’re here sign me the fuck up’ AU
  • ‘Are you seriously going to turn that poor excuse of a prototype in to the boss? You’ll get the sack’ AU
  • ‘We’re both vying for a promotion, and you’re not above sabotaging my work’ AU

tae-kook-lover  asked:

Number 36 and 37!!💓 Thank youu!😩 I absolutely love you Imagines!! Keep it up author-nim!!💓💓👏🏼

PROMPTS: “I don’t love you anymore.” & “You’re lying”

Member: Namjoon (Rap Monster)



Namjoon and I had been dating for about two years now. I’ve always known that Namjoon is goofy and silly sometimes but also hard -working and driven at others. I know that he hates it when people talk during movies and he would kill for the last slice of pizza. I know all about his quirks, his habits, his likes and dislikes. Even with all of that knowledge, i never once knew that he was capable of cheating on me.

My suspicions didn’t rize until the last few couple of weeks but now, knowing the truth, I should have picked up on the signs months ago. Him slowly distancing himself from me, saying he was under a lot of pressure with school. Him rejecting my calls and texting me instead, excusing his behaviour by saying he was in a busy area.

When he got out of bed one night staying over at my place, to answer a woman’s phone call, my suspicions rose. The sweat prickled on my forehead, the heat rushed to the side of my head. My hairs standing, my ears straining to ear, to catch a glimpse of their conversation.

Namojoon had sworn to me that it was his sister calling from a payphone on her backpacking trip, and I believed him. Until I answered one of the calls months later. Namjoon;s sister had already returned home by then, so who was calling. When I heard the suave, fluid female voice on the phone, terror struck me. I was so scared to have my doubts confirmed. I was scared to lose it all. Lose him.

So here I was, sitting before my boyfriend, about to ask the most useless question I could ask, “Why?”

Namjoon slumped into his chair across from me. He looked tired. As if this conversation was a burden, a waste of time, taking an unnecessary toll on his body. “I don’t love you anymore. I did-”

“You’re lying!” I scream, pushing myself deeper into the back of the loveseat, as if that’ll distance me, seperate me form my own pain. “STOP LYING!”

Namjoon just sighs again. “I did love you Y/N. I do love you, just not in the way I used to. Serene is-” I wince at her name.

“She’s different.” I laugh, a sad manic laugh.

“Different, huh? OK.” I say rolling my eyes.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I’m sorry yo-”

I put up my hand and say. “Spare me, Namjoon. I don’t need you’re halfass apologes. I don’t need pity. You don’t love me anymore, I get it. But since I still love you, let me give you some advice. When you fall out of love with Serene ad find someone different, have the balls to break up with her before you stick it.”

I slam Namjoon’s apartment door on the way out, muttering “Have a nice life,” on the way out. It’s the worst day of my life but I know that somehow it’ll be for the best.


Hello, I hope this gave you feels cuz I had feels writing it. Check out our new prompts list and request request request!

Thanks for reading!


I feel like Ricks playlist would be a complete mess of every genre in existence except country

90’s pop, all genres of rap, Elliott smith when he’s in the mood for that kind of thing, a lot of classic/punk rock, pink floyd, some alien shit thrown in there, and literally every Billy Joel song ever written

Late Nights (angst)

Title: Late Nights (Namjoon/Rap Monster)
Genre: Angst
Summary: You and Namjoon are drifting apart and you are getting sick of his late nights.
Words: 1651
A/N: No this isn’t as sweet as you think. And yeah, I like using Seungcheol as the cliched third character. This is part 1 of a series of two parts.

Originally posted by daeguboy

You sat straight and tried to look confident. You looked at the beautiful view in front of you. Namjoon had asked the staff to pick out the best place in the hotel restaurant. You felt slightly giddy at the atmosphere of the area.


“Miss, do you need anything else?” a waiter went beside you with a sympathetic voice. You were grateful for the assistance but you felt shy, “A glass of water would be fine.”

Namjoon was probably late. He’s very slow when it comes to learning choreographies.

10: 00

Namjoon’s not coming. You knew that. You knew how he would never really come. You were sick of it but you kept hoping he’d come. Maybe they wanted to practice thoroughly, you stupidly told yourself. 

“Miss?” the same waiter approached you.

“You know what? Ditch the water, do you have hot chocolate in a place like this? And, ice cream?” you look at the waiter.

He smiles at you, “Of course, miss.” You watch the waiter leave, your vision was starting to get blurry. You carefully dab your eyes with napkin. The romantic atmosphere had faded long ago, all you felt was the cold air. 

You shivered at this but you didn’t bother to put on your jacket.


“Miss,” the waiter had approached you again. Namjoon isn’t really coming.

Maybe he forgot, you lied to yourself.

You groggily stood up, placing your hand on the table for support, “I’m fine. You have nice staff here.”

“Thank you, er, miss,” the waiter skeptically said.

“And the ice cream was great,” you smile. With that, you scamper across the room, raising your chin to keep your tears from falling. You wanted to get out as soon as possible and return to the comfort of your apartment. Maybe Namjoon was already fast asleep on your bed.

“Bullshit, Namjoon,” you say, trying to put out some of your anger.

This time, the apartment looked untouched. The lights were turned off and the bed was still neatly done. You grumbled at this while changing into your pyjamas. You were too tired to hold a grudge against him. He must’ve been so exhausted that he stayed there, you lied again.

You closed the lights and lie down on the bed. You stare at the filtered moonlight across the room, observing the silence. You reflected on the recent events of your day. You burst into tears, biting your lips to muffle the sobs even if no one was there. You didn’t want to break the silence. You felt like you were shot in the chest. Your heart ached at the shame from the hotel. You hated going out, Namjoon knew that. Yet why would he repeatedly stand you up? You had told him over and over that you didn’t mind if he was late as long as he was there.  You sighed with deep dejection, turning to your side and closing your eyes.

You heard the door creak open then close. You could hear Namjoon’s loud footsteps nearing the bed. He plopped down next to you, his face buried in the pillow. Namjoon strongly reeked of alcohol and women’s perfume. You wrinkled your nose, you hated perfume. It made you dizzy.

“Namjoon,” you say.

Namjoon gave a muffled response. You sit up and look at him. He looked so messy, his hair was ruffled, there was a lipstick smear across his cheek, he was slightly drooling.

“Namjoon, wake up, let’s talk,” you say. Your heart was beating fast at what you were prepared to say.

Namjoon only rolled over.

“Namjoon, wake up!” you push him off the bed. To this, Namjoon looked at you with a bewildered expression and he stood up to return. You stand up and grabbed his arm as harshly as possible and you walk over to the living room.

“Where were you?” you nag at him. You were so tired and you were so annoyed. You felt like punching or throwing something.

“I went out with the guys,” he scratched his head, leaning against the wall.

“Oh, you went out with the guys, huh,” you sarcastically say. You give him a smile. Not a warm one, an amused one.

“Y/N, I’m telling the truth,” Namjoon’s sleep seemed to have ebbed away.

“Yes…probably,” you say with a challenging tone, “But is the ‘Y/N let’s go on a date in a restaurant I found’ a truth, too? Huh?”

It all suddenly dawned on him. His eyes widen and he freezes, his expression making you scoff, “Finally shook the alcohol out of your brain, huh? Rap Monster?”

You intentionally slurred at the ‘Monster’.

“Y/N, I…I didn’t mean to…” he says. He flinches at the name. He takes a step near you and tries to take your hand but you pull back.

“No, Namjoon. Get away from me.” you sharply say that it startled both of you.
“Y/N…” your name leaving his lips finally takes you to your breaking point. You let the tears fall down and look at Namjoon.

“Tell me, how many times has this happened?”

Namjoon stared at you only.

“TELL ME, HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPENED?” you practically screamed at him.

“I…I…” he stuttered. Namjoon looked cornered and guilty. His emotions were showing but you didn’t care. Why would you when he repeatedly left you alone?

You laugh without humour, “That’s right, you don’t know. Want to know how many times? Every single fucking date, Namjoon. I don’t know if it’s called a date but yeah, every time you say that we eat out, you inconveniently forget about it or you didn’t.”

He opens his mouth to speak but you cut him, “It’s tiring Namjoon. You never spend your time with me and when you are given a chance to do so, you avoid me. You make me go to places just to sit there and wait for hours, feeding myself with fake hope. Why do you do that huh?”

You glare at him. Namjoon was silent for a while, “I didn’t mean–”

“Oh my god! Your ‘I didn’t mean too’ is getting so old! Can’t you even find a decent lie?” you exasperatedly say. You were very very tired of Namjoon and his lies and his ‘dates’.

You found an unframed picture of the two of you. You were both caught in mid-laugh, your bodies were intimately close, nothing in it indicated the future of your relationship. Your thumb brushed happy Namjoon’s face, the texture of the photo making your tiny circles sluggish.

You give a small sigh at the picture, “Who knew everything would turn out like this, huh? Who knew you’d start avoiding me? Namjoon, I feel like there’s no us anymore. I feel like I’m living with a complete stranger. Maybe we had already broken up long ago. Maybe…maybe we just didn’t want to let go. I need to let go, Namjoon, our relationship isn’t healthy anymore. We keep fighting and you keep making the same mistake over and over and it’s hurting me.”

Namjoon only lowered his eyes, he ached at the feeling of your warmth. He wanted to hug you and comfort you and say sorry repeatedly. He hated seeing you so upset.

You look at Namjoon’s helpless figure. He knows you were right. You were shocked at this, making your insides turn cold, your stare turned icy.

 You set down the picture, “I’m tired of dealing with your shit, Namjoon.”

You enter your bedroom and started packing your clothes up while ringing your best friend’s number.

A groggy voice answered, “Y/N, this better be worth it. Why are you calling me so early?”

You tried to compose yourself but you broke down on the phone,“Seungcheol…”

It felt nice to say another name besides ‘Namjoon’.

Seungcheol’s groggy voice turned to  a concerned one, “Y/N, what’s the matter?”

You felt like you couldn’t tell him on the phone. You had to tell someone personally, the phone looked like it wasn’t worth your fight.

“Cheol…let’s talk about it on the way there, shall we? Can you pick me up?” you ignored the broken tone of your voice.

“I’m coming,” Seungcheol ended the call. You sling your backpack on your back and face the door. With a big sigh, you open the door and walk to the living room where Namjoon was sullenly sitting. You ignore him and walk towards the door. You just had to open the door. Turn the knob and run away. Run run run run.

“Are you–are you leaving?” Namjoon’s voice made it clear that he was on the verge of crying. You bit your lip. You hated hurting him. But you hated being hurt yourself because of his senseless actions.

“Why shouldn’t I? Tell me, Namjoon, why shouldn’t I?”

“Because you love me, because we love each other,” Namjoon whispered but someone had suddenly knocked on the door so you never heard any reply.

“See, nothing. That’s what I thought,” you look away from him and open the door to a worried Seungcheol.

Seungcheol took in the scene. The lights were turned off but the moonlight was enough for him to see the dangerous space between you and Namjoon. He could even see the lipstick smear and smell the alcohol. Seungcheol felt disgusted at Namjoon. The guy he looked up to was the typical jerk of a guy.

“Cheol, let’s go,” you force a smile but it turns out to be a grimace.
Seungchel takes the backpack from you and nods, pretending he couldn’t see Namjoon, pretending it’s just a sleepover.

But before you stepped out, you faced Namjoon and gave him one of your coldest looks, “By the way, you should wipe that lipstick smear you’ve been displaying. You’ll look less of a jerk.”

And you rushed out, slamming the door. You desperately wipe your eyes with your sleeves, running away from him and following Seungcheol to his car.