seriously that vine….. fuck that i’m not going to support someone being a dick. i get that you want your privacy and i get that you want to have a normal life but that doesn’t mean you have to be rude. that doesn’t mean you have to forget about the people that put you on this pedestal to begin with

ok let me say this again I DO NOT DISLIKE BRYANA BC SHE’S DATING ASHTON. I DO NOT DISLIKE HER AS A PERSON. I DISLIKE SOME OF HER OPINIONS AND BEHAVIORS. THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I DISLIKE HER PERSONALLY OR DISLIKE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ASHTON. IT IS A OKAY TO DISLIKE SOMEONE’S BEHAVIORS BUT STILL RESPECT THEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m getting bad again,

and i know for a fact

that it never really 

goes away, no matter what.

you think you can get better,

but it’s always going to be

at the back at the head and

it can spark back at any time.

it never goes away.

i’m trying so hard to be good,

but something is stopping me.

i can’t, i can’t, i can’t.

i find myself stuck, with no

energy to get up, and when

i have to force myself to

get up, i dread everything.

i just need an escape…

far far away from here, 

from this life.

this actually really upsets me. not because of ashton. because of the ‘fans’ who have the nerve to spread these things and show how ignorant they are. ashton irwin is a drummer for a band. nowhere in his job description does it say that he is not allowed to have his own personal life. what gives us the right to invade that personal life and stop Ashton from being happy? i have ranted about this so many times and to be quite honest i shouldn’t feel the need to. if you don’t like bryana, fine. you are entitled to your own opinion. i really hope for the sake of the band that your opinion stays as your opinion because the reason they are where they are today is because of us, and how would they feel if the people who have supported them all the way are the ones who split them up.

i used to be a bitter pretentious “i only listen to REAL music” classic rock fan, but that was when i was bein potty trained by my mama and i didnt know how to zip a zipper. you know what i did? i grew the fuck up

Tangina naiinis ako! Sobra pa sa sobra. Nakakairita lahat kahit wala naman ginagawa sa akin!!!!!! Tangina sana mawala na muna lahat ng tao na kilala ko, kahit ngayon lang!!!!

14 and girl

Sa panahon ngayon ang henerasyon ngayon ay iba ang paningin sa aming mga kabataan.Tulad ko, kapag sinabi kong bookworm ako sasabihin nila “Talaga? ano yung mga stories na nabasa mo na sa wattpad?” Hindi naman porket sinabi kong bookworm ako ay wattpad na ang binabasa ko. Literal at pisikal na libro ang binabasa ko. Kapag naman sinabi kong may tumblr account ako sasabihin nila “Bakit? may problema ka ba sa lovelife mo?” Hindi naman porket may tumblr ako may mga problema na ako sa lovelife, bakit lovelife lang ba ang pwedeng topic sa tumblr? May mga ganung tao talaga na ang turing sa akin ay isang klase ng katorse anyos na dalaga. Minsan naiinis na ako dahil bakit? bakit lagi nyo akong kinu-kumpara sa ibang 14 years old na babae dyan? kesyo hindi ako nagbabasa ng wattpad, kesyo wala naman akong problema sa lovelife or kung ano ano pa. Wag naman sana akong ikumpara sa kanila dahil matured na ako. Madami na akong bagay na alam na posibleng hindi pa alam ng iba. Hindi na ako yung tipong teenager na kapag umaalis ay kailangan on point ang outfit, hindi ako yung tipong lahat na lang ng regalo, letters, at achievements ay kinukunan ng litrato. HInding hindi din ako yung tipong teenager na hindi marunong umintindi sa problema ng pamilya dahil sa kakulangan sa pera. Malaki na ako, halos madami nga ang nagugulat sa edad ko kapag kausap ko sila dahil pakiramdam nila isang 18 years old ang kausap nila. Kaya sana tama na ang pagkuku-kumapara nyo sa aming 14 years old na babae.

so what is the actual point of reblogging a pic of someone you don’t like just to hate on them in the tags? is it going to change the race result? is it going to make people like you? and how is it nico’s fault anyway? what you’d have liked both their races to be screwed and for sebastian to win? what’s done is done, sure it’s really bad and unfair and you have every right to be angry but taking it on nico or nico’s fan isn’t going to change anything, is it? you can either be bitter about this forever or you can redirect that energy anger is giving you into support lewis af and giving him the extra push for canada already and make some good out of this… idk what you need more, they apologized, they sure as hell won’t make that mistake again, lewis will bounce back and nico himself said lewis deserved to win, like honestly piss off.

Moving on.

For the first two months after my breakup, I was still holding onto the hope that we may still get a chance to patch things up.

I kept his photos and photos of us together on Facebook, just in case we’d get back together. I referred to him as my boyfriend in conversations with friends. And I’d refused to tuck away the little photo frame that held the photo of us together, taken by his aunt on Chinese New Year 2013.

In my nightly prayers, I had begged God to help me get him back, convinced that he’s still the one despite evidences of the contrary. For two months, I had perpetuated a lie in my mind and in my heart.

In a moment of weakness, I had allowed myself to be vulnerable to him. I offered him help with his gym’s PR and went to his gym for open mats when my teammates were away at the battleground. He refused my help point blank, and he’d almost broke my arm when he caught me in an armbar. The person I loved and wished to come back to was no longer there. He’d obviously moved on, so should I.

Crushed and shocked with my discovery, I spent the next day venting to three separate close friends, all of whom had the same thing to say: let it go.

I had to put myself in a third person’s perspective to make it easier to swallow. What would I do if an amazing friend I know who is ambitious, helpful and kind gets hung up on a guy who is egoistical, lazy and ungrateful? Simple, I’d tell her to leave him. I got my answer.

I had a good cry and later decided that it was time for that leap of faith. With bated breath, I removed each one of his pictures on my Facebook page. I removed every vestige of him left in my life. I tucked away the photo album, put away all the gifts he’d given me and when people asked, I patiently revealed that I’m now single.

I realized that I was only hanging onto the relationship with dear life because it had become some sort of a comfort zone for me. It’s so familiar that it’s pretty much become a part of me. But by letting go, I was suddenly able to accept that what happened would’ve happened anyway, sooner or later. I wasn’t happy and the breakup was timely. Best of all, I no longer saw the breakup as a failure on my part. It’s not me, it’s the incompatibility. I am well on my way toward complete recovery.

My prayer conversation also changed. Instead of praying for him to come back or praying for God to help me bring him back, I asked God to help me let go. I asked God to help me move on, and He did.

A week after making a conscious decision to let go, a new guy asked me out. Flattered as I am, I decided to take it slow this time. I may be 31 but I’m in no hurry to get swept up in romance. The next time it happens, I want to make sure it’s with the right man.

Headmates

I really, really just want Tumblr to wake up and realise that faking mental disorders does not make you hip or cool, but a huge asshole to everyone who knows someone with the disorder, or someone who has the disorder. Especially everyone in on the whole headmates thing who is faking DID. I'mma try to stay as calm as I possibly can, but it’s becoming increasingly hard every time I see a “multiple system” with headmates like Castiel or Kaneki or Ultron.

Tangina. Please lang, layuan na sana ako ng mga temporary people. Lumayo na sana sila sakin. Hindi ko sila kailangang dumaan sa buhay ko. Tangina. Ayos na ko kahit konti lang kaibigan ko, at least alam kong magtatagal sila at hindi lang sila panandalian. Tangina, nakakapagod kasing mag adjust pag nasanay ka ng nandyan sila lagi sa tabi mo kaya utang na loob kung hindi rin lang naman sila magtatagal sa buhay ko, sa umpisa pa lang wag na sana silang dumating. May pms ako at malapit na akong magka-regla, wag nyo kong inisin bago ako magwala dito.