I really do try to keep a firm grip on the distinctions between reality and my disordered perceptions of myself and the world, but sometimes it’s even harder than it otherwise would be, because many of those perceptions are at least somewhat supported by experience.
I think I’m amazing and wonderful to a superlative degree, and many people apparently feel that way about me too. I believe that I’m immune to the consequences of my actions, and I often get away with things that should be disastrous, or find a way out of the trouble I get into. I’m paranoid, but many people would genuinely seek my death. I think I’m brilliant and that I’m always right, and quite a few people seem to agree. I think everything is about me and I should be the center of attention, and that often turns out to be the case. These are just a few examples.
Abstractly, I know what’s real and what isn’t, but that doesn’t make my disordered perceptions feel any less real, and sometimes it seems like the world is trying very hard to prove to me that those perceptions are true. For the most part I don’t mind it - with a few exceptions (like the paranoia) I usually enjoy it very much - but it does often make it harder to see the world clearly.
Your ask says Ask you EVERYTHING, so that said, I will probe!! What did you say to your therapist to cause the bail? It sucks that happened to u btw. Additionally, why did you decide to pursue therapy?