Henry the Eighth's Wives Ranked by Friendability: History Ranked 1 (REISSUED)
So, there is a reason I’m reissuing this. Sometimes I forget that people don’t automatically know what my intent is and what posts mean. Also, I forget that people actually read there. So, instead of going by personal opinions(which the title stated were a main basis) which made people upset, I’m going to go by a more objective Friendability scale.
1. Anne Boleyn. We don’t really know that much about her personality, but we know enough to say she’d be pretty fucking chill to hang with. Many people say she was a feminist. But, how can you be a feminist if that’s not a thing? One reason people think of her as the OG feminist queen is because she displays what we think of as traits of more modern feminist. Active in politics? Check. Charming? Check. Probably pretty damn funny? Check. Raised in French court with Marguerite de Navarre, who ran one of the most influential ladies’ intellectual salons of not just the time, but possibly ever? Fucking check. But this doesn’t mean that other wives weren’t as progressive. They just didn’t showcase their ideals to the world in as modern of ways as Anne did. That doesn’t make them any less feminist. You can fight me if you think so. Tied with…..
2. Anne of Cleves, aka “Wasn’t she the ugly one?” Nope. Don’t. Fucking. Go. There. With. Me. Some ugly ass obese motherfucker is gonna come out here, say “I like her not!”, and ruin her reputation for good? Not on my fucking watch. Anne didn’t push the boundaries, which is normally not a good thing, but in this case, it was exactly what needed to be done. She was like, “Hey, maybe I won’t push it with this dude who doesn’t like me all that much and literally had the last wife he didn’t like anymore killed.” You shouldn’t have to think like that, and the other wives didn’t force their own fate by being “too pushy”. Henry is just the worst. But whatever Anne did during her time as queen fucking worked. When Henry wanted a divorce, do you think she was fucking sad? No, bitch! It was probably more like, “Oh thank god, I’m not going to be fucking murdered by this grotesque asshole.” Due to her cooperation, she got a shit ton of money and land and was granted status as the king’s sister.
3. YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE. YOU THOUGHT I WAS FUCKING DONE WITH ANNE OF CLEVES. YOU FUCKING THOUGHT. *clears throat* I digress. Anne was the only wife other than Katherine Parr to outlive Henry, and she lived a pretty dope, peaceful life. She kept up good relations with both Mary and Elizabeth. She even rode in the carriage with Elizabeth at Mary’s coronation. And when Mary, Catholic™, was told that Anne, Lutheran, Mary didn’t even check that shit out. And yes, this is the Mary that burned Protestants at the fucking stake.
3. Katherine Parr. Pretty damn close to Anne of Cleves on the Common Sense-o-Meter. Also, mad props for being married to Henry at his oldest and most grotesque. She was supes into politics, even becoming regent while Henry was being a douche fighting in one of his precious lil wars. It was Katherine that pushed Henry to restore Mary and Elizabeth to the throne, and helped to educate Elizabeth and Edward. But Kathy Kat Kat did all of this without bein fuckin beheaded or divorced, and while anti-Protestant courtiers were spreadin rumors and shiz. She did outlive Henry, but only by one year. She’d be the chill, pacifist seeming friend that’s also low key liberal.
4. Katherine of Aragon. Hey, you’ve moved up since last time! Good for you. I didn’t give poor Katherine a fair shot. Maybe because I wrote the original late at night after reading an Anne Boleyn biography, which inevitably had some Katherine hate. And I’m still mad about the Chapuys shit, and don’t approve of the way she treated Anne. But, really, would you not be at least a little bit petty to your ex’s new wife? Katherine did some feminist shit, dude. She did it more quietly than Anne Boleyn, much like Katherine Parr, but she did it. Katherine was also regent for a time, and may I say she was pretty damn good. After the divorce, she stayed stuck in her ways with Anne and protestants, but hey, who wouldn’t? The fact that everybody loved her after the divorce may be in a small part due to some bad reports of Anne, but Katherine may have actually been the one to influence those reports(looking at u Chapuys). But she also held her own for pretty much all her life. No man is an island, but this woman is. Also, she kept faithful to Catholicism her whole life. Religious and feminist? Hell yes.
5.Katherine Howard. Poor, sweet, Katherine Howard. She deserved 0% of what happened to her, including being married to a repulsive old man at 17. If you have ever called Katherine Howard a whore fuck you. Fuck you and your entire fucking family bitch ass cunt. Sorry, got a lil out of hand there. Neither she nor her cousin deserved execution. We don’t really know much about her, but she would’ve been pretty fun at parties, and she definitely has more friend potential than….
6. Jane Seymour. Not the best. Subservient, product of a patriarchal society and doesn’t really care that much. Pretty uneducated, which isn’t her fault, but would probably make her less fun to talk to. “Bound to obey and serve.” Tiptoed around Henry so as not to disturb him for her whole queenship. Pretty boring, overall. But hey, we can’t really say, can we? We can’t talk to these ladies. All we know is the man-made history we were given. Maybe she was a badass. But, alas, right now we are working with the history of “Men, and also their wives sometimes”.
So, there was my more objective assessment. Of course, Friendability is always sort of in the eye of the beholder. What are your thoughts? And is there anything I missed?
Easy to see where her head is (also Shiho is saying she loves Anne and gdi I ship Anne with everyone I swear)
After you confess you hug her, her head is kinda resting on your right shoulder as you see her move her head so that the MC can rest his head on her right shoulder/right side of her head (side note, no the option is not to hug her it’s actually to say something, and even if you don’t want to confess that non-romance option doesn’t make you feel like an ass like Rise does so yay for that! :D But really why wouldn’t you romance Anne she’s the best! XP)
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT THE 3RD HUG (and the MC’s 2nd hug)!!!
IT’S A LOT MORE STRAIGHT ON! AND THE WAY SHE’S FLAILING ABOUT (cause she suddenly went Tsun mode but it’s such a sweet tsun ;w;) AND THEN SHE GOES SILENT AND THE 3 SWEAT DROPS APPEAR AND KLSFDNKLAN;FL;N THEN SHE GRIPS HIS SHOULDERS! NO! REALLY LOOK!
Guys….I’ve read enough shojo manga to know what those signs mean….I THINK THE MC FREAKING SURPRISED KISSED ANNE!
That or it’s one of the most awkward hugs ever, cause I mean it’d also make sense that he’d pull her close and she’d rest her head on his chest but….Anne is obvs standing up right compared to hug #1 and #2. It’s just, she does get an actual kissing scene with the MC (and is one of the two people that do), tho sadly the screen fades to black as it happens (similar to Maiko to the P3MC and Margaret to the P4MC)……thoooo by the way they are facing it’s hard to tell if it’s an actual kiss or not so it could mean that this was one way Atlus could do it without fading it out (I think the scene with Tae is similar, hard to tell if they are kissing but yeah). And if that’s not enough implied proof how about this! This is what she does when she pulls away!
MY MY MY ANNE WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOUR HAND TO YOUR MOUTH LIKE THAT?! 8D IS IT TO HIDE A BLUSH OR A KISS FROM YOUR SUAVE BF?! ;D Aaaaand she also says “Let go of me! You trying to kill me?!” Now it could be she means that she’s “dying of embarrassment” as she did say she was so embarrassed for not noticing her feelings. Or it could also mean by how much the MC was hugging her….OR IT COULD MEAN THAT THEY WERE KISSING FOR SO LONG OR THAT SHE WAS SO SURPRISED BY THE SURPRISED KISS THAT SHE COULDN’T PREPARE HERSELF AND THEN SHE BECAME OUT OF BREATH!
I dunno just something to throw out there. ;D You guys decide! XP
“On Tuesday, executives and board members got their turn, as Comcast’s $3.8 billion purchase of DreamWorks closed — with outgoing CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg’s writing a heartfelt final memo to his workers, on the day he received a more than $391 million cash-out package. The founder (along with Steven Spielberg and David Geffen) of one-time uber studio DreamWorks SKG walked away with 10 times more money than the next highest ranking studio employee, President Ann Daly.
Katzenberg suggested in a farewell memo to employees that his final hours as DreamWorks boss were filled with anything but thoughts about newly-claimed riches or about ‘the beautiful campus, the fountain, the panini maker or even the movies.’ Instead, he said said that when he drives out the DreamWorks gates for the final time he will think about people — 'incredibly talented individuals from around the globe, united by an amazing goal: to bring joy, wonder and laughter to the world.’
[Katzenberg] will work as a consultant to Comcast. And he will serve as Chairman of DreamWorks New Media, including looking for growth possibilities for properties like the studio’s Awesomeness TV unit.
Sources said Katzenberg got to sell a total of 9,186,260 shares he held variously via direct ownership, a trust and a series of entities he owns with his wife Marilyn. That part of the deal netted him more than $376.6 million. He also got to exercise options on more than 1 million additional shares, priced at $24.28 a share and at $35.30 a share — bagging $14.9 million more.”
Scritti Politti: “The Word Girl” (Cupid & Psyche 85, 1985)
Like “The ‘Sweetest Girl’” this functions as a reggae song. Unlike “The ‘Sweetest Girl’” every instrument here is rendered crisply, precisely cropped, details lifting from the song’s surface like temporary relief sculptures. “The Word Girl” is only dub at its edges, in the weird, shuddering percussion that opens it, like a bloom of dark smoke pouring into the track.
Otherwise it’s severe and glossy, sharing the topography of every song on Cupid & Psyche 85. It’s less crowded with information, though; the only element of the song that implies the crashing mosaic structure of the rest of the album is the bright constellation of notes that develops out of each chorus, as if the song had sprouted crystals.
This is another of Gartside’s songs about the language of pop music, this time focusing on a pervasiveness of “girl” and its associations. As he told 200%, it’s meant to interrogate “[‘girl’’s] reasons of meaning, its emptying out of meaning.” The song assimilates theories of language originated by Ludwig Wittgenstein and Julia Kristeva. Wittgenstein’s early work suggested that the limitations of language corresponded to the limitations of thought. Kristeva, who modified Lacanian theory, suggested than in a child’s development, after they recognize themselves in a mirror, they enter a hybrid symbolic stage and semiotic stage, where identity, instead of solidifying, remains in flux, a kind of absorbent blur, always in the process of making itself and making meaning. This stage is primarily associated with women. Kristeva also coined the term “intertextuality,” a process by which different works of art modify or are consumed by each other, and with all the philosophical data and in-jokes Gartside compresses into his songs they could be considered functionally intertextual acts.
“The Word Girl” identifies the abstractions and prescriptions packed into “girl,” which, as a word used by men in pop songs, is a method of fictionalization and manipulation; it’s used to imprint ideals and restrictions (which are basically the same thing) on the identities of women. “A name the girl outgrew / The girl was never real,” Green sings. “She stands for your abuse / The girl is no ideal.”
A remix entitled “Flesh & Blood” appears on the B-side of the single; the instrumentation is essentially identical but Gartside’s voice is subtracted and replaced by dancehall DJ Ranking Ann. Ann was known for the fierce yet relaxed couplets she delivered over knots of bass and drums produced by Mad Professor, making long, digressive reggae that could be both radical and gentle. On “Flesh & Blood” she raps in slanted, conversational syllables which transfer the perspective of “The Word Girl” to a woman: “Me say no use me, abuse me / I’m flesh and blood.”