range weapons

me, softly, at 7am: i would kill a man for percahlia

Ok but can we talk about how the Paladin’s bayards don’t just suit them, but actually ARE them? THE BAYARD PICKS THE PALADIN, MR. POTTER.

The bayards are frankly the coolest metaphorical device happening in this show and I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet (I’m sure someone has, but I feel like it’s not really… a thing??), and if my major has taught me any(useless)thing it’s to get stuck on functional motifs in storytelling so

Keith

I mean this is just fun. You’re probably not surprised that he gets the big blade because he’s main-character-red and the emo/possibly-Asian-one, but let’s consider a few things: 

The fact that it’s sharp on both sides acts as a physical reminder of the duality happening within his character (he cuts others down, but internally he’s cutting himself down just as much: a double-edged sword). 

Furthermore, that double edge reminds us that it’s a loner’s weapon: he needs to be able to attack with each swing, in any direction, because no one’s coming to back him up. It may be space, but dude is clearly rockin’ the lone wolf/samurai vibe. The length backs that up a bit as well–it keeps everyone he sees as an ‘enemy’ or a ‘rival’ at a distance (//side-eye @ lance). 

What’s even more interesting is that if you look at Keith’s relationship with his bayard compared to his Marmora blade, they represent his hidden and public selves: who people see him as/expect him to be vs. who he truly is and wants to be (is afraid to be) himself. 

Most people only see his bayard, a classic warrior/knight weapon that represents strength and grace and leadership. Keith brings this out in battle, in front of his friends, before enemies, etc. But when he’s alone at night or when he’s holed up in the desert, the blade on his mind and in his hand is his Marmora dagger. Despite being a secret for so long, it is actually this blade (and not the bayard he got from Voltron) which Keith always keeps close to him (and which he keeps strictly concealed). 

He covers up the mark on the hilt as if to cover his own hidden thoughts and feelings (and maybe even dubious past). In public, he feels he can proudly show his bayard but doesn’t want anyone to know he has the dagger, even before he himself knows what it might mean. 

Even more interestingly, this blade also represents close combat–letting people get close to you–and the desire to protect others, showing that these are things Keith thinks about, feels, and even wants, but is afraid to show to those around him. What’s more, while the obvious skills and general cool-dude-ness associated with the bayard are something Keith has earned/achieved by his own merit, the Marmora dagger (and all the things it represents) were something he was born with; something inherently part of him. Ironically, once Keith learns more about his dagger and what it represents, it becomes longer–it adds distance, just as the truth about his past puts distance between him and the other paladins.

Like, I could literally (gladly) write an entire essay just on the symbolism of how Keith treats these blades, but you get the idea. 

I was gonna do Shiro next but his is even sadder than Keith’s so let’s do

Pidge

So some things about this are obvious: it bears a (kind of adorable similarity) in shape to her head. It’s small, she’s small, but if you underestimate either of them you will be sorry. It’s an incredibly quick/nimble weapon (a great parallel for her stinging wit). Her bayard is designed for quick, surgically precise movements, which is exactly how Pidge works (both mentally and metaphorically).

However, while it has great attack capabilities, that’s clearly not the bayard’s (or Pidge’s) main purpose; it’s a necessary consequence in the pursuit of other goals. Rather, the transformative and flexible uses of Pidge’s bayard emphasize the desire to be useful and to solve problems over attacking. This is belied by the fact that Pidge forms Voltron’s shield. Pidge would much rather think her way out of/around a problem than charge in head-first

Her bayard is a reflection of that. Pidge’s bayard is also the most technically complicated, which is another great parallel for her mind. Furthermore, the grappling hook function of her bayard echoes her desire to find things out of reach, and cast out into space and bring those things close to her, or herself to them (*cough*MATT*cough*). 

TL;DR: it’s an all-purpose, unassuming weapon meant to perform multiple tasks in an efficient, creative way, and it focuses on problem solving/extraction more than brute attack (though it packs plenty of punch when cornered). And, of course, though she be but little, she is fierce.

Lance

As his swagger (and even his name, like talk about being on the nose) suggests, Lance is totally in-your-face, up-in-your-business blabbermouth who seems pretty simple to understand. So why does he have the weapon that arguably requires the most finesse, patience, and also has a long range? Because that’s what Lance is really like under all that talk. It may seem like Lance lives with the words “are we there yet” on his tongue, but consider this: Lance wanted to be a pilot, but was originally relegated to commercial-class ranks. Did that stop him? Nope. He kept at it until he made it to the top of those ranks (it’s safe to assume that if they only promoted one pilot to fighter-class after Keith’s expulsion, it would be the top of the commercial-class students). That’s more patience than any of the other paladins have shown.

As a gun in a team that has close-combat weapons, Lance’s bayard automatically assumes a supportive role (despite all his talk about beating Keith and being the best), and we see this multiple times throughout the show. His first day as a fighter-class pilot, what does Lance do? Talks to his team and says they should stick together. How does he find out about Shiro? He’s following Pidge and asking about what she’s up to–crazy theories that others wouldn’t care to hear out. There are a lot of other examples of this (notably, when he throws himself in front of Coran), but from the get-go we’re slyly shown that Lance actually cares about and pays attention to those around him (even though he keeps talking about kicking their butts and being #1). It makes sense, then, that his weapon would be one designed to support and provide cover for others. In fact, we see Lance doing exactly this in the first episode when Pidge mouths off and he rushes in to cover for her.

Sadly, as one of the longer-range weapons, Lance’s bayard is also one of the loneliest metaphors in the group, and we see the reason for this just as much in VLD: Lance doesn’t feel appreciated (or sometimes even accepted) by the people around him. He often feels distant, though not by choice. He may shoot (ha) his mouth off a lot, but at the end of the day it’s pretty apparent that this boy craves love and attention, almost as much as he wants to be perceived as a ‘top gun’ (double ha) within the group.

A gun–especially the rapid-fire type that Lance has–further mirrors his tendency to be impulsive (and even impetuous) rather than controlled and thoughtful. On the bright side, though, it is exactly that willingness to pull the trigger that has catapulted the gang forward on a number of occasions.

Shiro

Between Shiro’s arm and his bayard there are so many different things going on here I don’t even know how I can touch on all of them. If I could write an essay on Keith’s weapons, I could write a BOOK on Shiro’s.

First, let’s talk about Shiro’s actual bayard. In Zarkon’s hands, you can read this as a physical extension of Shiro’s freedom, or even as Shiro himself: Zarkon took the bayard–something meant to be used for good–from another world, and then warped it in the hopes of using it to cause destruction. 

The good news is that both Shiro and the bayard escape Zarkon’s clutches because of Voltron, and though Zarkon intended to use them, they instead become the strongest weapons to fight against him. They will always feel the effects of Zarkon’s influence and ownership–the bayard because of Zarkon’s former paladin connections, and Shiro because of his arm and PTSD–but they still fight. In the end, it is Zarkon’s obsession with them as his former ‘possessions’ that becomes his downfall. So deep is his trauma that Shiro actually waits until it looks like they’re about to die (when Voltron is in an electric headlock) to activate his bayard. Why? Because he doesn’t trust his arm, he doesn’t trust his hold on the bayard or the lion (don’t even get me STARTED on how the lion–down it’s right-hand weapon and still somewhat under Zarkon’s control–represents Shiro himself), and as a result he doesn’t trust himself to be stronger than Zarkon. 

Even when Shiro finally gets the bayard back, he doesn’t call it his bayard, or the black bayard; he calls it Zarkon’s bayard (and it looks the part). This can be seen as a mirror for how Shiro sees himself: even though it’s a bayard, Zarkon tainted it, and now it doesn’t belong to him even though it’s rightfully his and he has it in his hands (which, ironically, is still technically Zarkon’s hand… you get the picture).

However, as Keith corrects him (”you’ve got your bayard”), the bayard rejects the changes Zarkon forced upon it, and reverts to a form that matches Shiro and the other paladins (likely how it looked before Zarkon started using it for evil). Just as the paladins healed Shiro by rescuing him and making him part of Voltron, Shiro does the same for the black bayard. Indeed, he only pulls out the power necessary to retrieve the black bayard once he wakes up to find the team fighting to protect him. It might be telling symbolically that Shiro leaves his bayard behind when he goes missing at the end of the season–perhaps he’s won his freedom only to have it taken once again.

 Which leads me to… 

The black bayard could also represent Shiro’s memories: both are known to exist, and we get hints/flashes/teases throughout the show, but both are initially “lost”. Slowly, it is revealed just how both Shiro’s bayard and his memories have been taken/corrupted by Zarkon. We see this in the way Shiro’s memories haunt him, only to frustratingly elude  him when he needs them. When Shiro finally tries to find out more about why Zarkon has the bayard, he’s also facing his own mind–his memories, his insecurities, and his apprehension at what fate awaits him–as well.  In this sense, when Shiro reclaims the black bayard, he is also reclaiming so much more: the hold/fear Zarkon held over him, the insufficiency and anxiety he felt because of it, etc. 

You can also read the bayard as a mirror for Shiro’s arm: Zarkon took Shiro’s arm and replaced it with something Galran. Shiro joins Voltron only to find that Zarkon also has his metaphorical right hand–his weapon. Shiro can’t use the weapon he should be holding (in a hand he doesn’t have because of Zarkon) because Zarkon took it. Talk about a vicious cycle. This symbolism is supported all through season 1 and parts of season 2 where we see Shiro simultaneously struggle with controlling Zarkon’s lasting effects on Voltron and coming to grips (ha) with controlling his arm. It’s hinted–both during battle and through PTSD–that if Shiro doesn’t control his arm, it will control him, just as Zarkon demonstrates that if Shiro can’t reclaim the bayard, Zarkon will use it to kill him (we see a similar parallel with his memories). 

I’m just going to stop here because the black bayard and Shiro’s arm can represent so many different things that it totally distracts me and I can only really do it justice by literally sitting down and writing out a full on dissertation on it.

But TL;DR: Shiro’s arm and his bayard are in a crazy, soap-opera drama with Zarkon on so many different levels and it is symbolistically incredible.

Hunk

Hunk’s bayard, much like Hunk, is pretty straight-forward and simple. Physically, it’s a big weapon. A big, hulking (Hunking????) weapon. It looks incredibly imposing, but its chief function isn’t destruction, but preventing destruction. Just as Hunk likes to avoid violence, his canon is mostly used to disable enemy weapons as part of Voltron, and individually Hunk uses it to provide long-range cover fire for his team (when he tries to use it in a more actively combative role, he just ends up almost shooting Pidge… gg, Hunk). 

Unlike Lance’s more nimble and quick-fire weapon, Hunk’s takes a lot of strength to move around and a long time to power up–this mirrors Hunk’s own well-rooted stance (he’s not easily swayed), and his cautious nature. He doesn’t do things off-the-cuff or on a whim; he thinks them through first. Indeed, it’s almost always Hunk warning the others of the possible outcomes of their proposed escapades. 

He’s also slow to anger, just as his weapon is slow to fire. However, once he has decided to take a shot, his firepower is incredible, just as when he does decide to take action (like with the Balmerans), his will is unstoppable. 

I could go on for days, guys. I have so much stuff I had to cut out because even the hardcorest Voltron fans don’t care about underlying motifs this much, I know, but AGH. GUYS. GUYS. THE BEAUTY??? OF THIS WRITING??? IN A KIDS’ SHOW????? 

Bless.

PS this is long I didn’t proof read it SO SUE ME

youtube

Keanu Reeves being an absolute beast during his weapons training for “John Wick 2″.

on allura and the castleship

So like the show often stresses that Allura is needed in the castle to run it, since it’s linked up to her quintessence. Coran seems to be able to pilot it to an extent in a fix (like when Allura and Keith ran off in that pod), but it looks like the castle doesn’t have its full range of weapons and abilities without her. Including wormholing, which is like. A really big deal.

With Shiro likely to be gone from the team for at least a little while, we’re probably going to need someone to pilot one of the lions. But with all that about Allura and the castle in mind, the question is: can Allura actually pilot a lion at all?

It turns out we might actually already have an answer: it depends on Slav. Because the castleship’s probably going to get some sort of an upgrade next season.

Slav’s already shown shitting on the castle during his first scene in it, which is a fun hint of what could be coming. Allura and Coran have said it several times throughout the series: the castle’s old. Its technology is almost definitely outdated, if Slav’s complaints are any indication, and it breaks down often, to the point where it doing so is a major plot point in season 2. Compared to its Galra counterparts, which have 10000 years worth of technological advancement on their side, the castleship is probably the equivalent of bringing like. a pointy stick to a knife fight.

But now they have the means to update it. 

Keep reading

Keith unintentionally spies on Lance in the training room  ...

where the Blue Paladin is kicking ass. And Keith’s kind of mesmerized by it. Then he’s more than mesmerized — he’s freaking out because he’s actually kinda sorta into this brutally efficient soldier version of Lance.

Keith rubbed his sore neck and considered whether or not it was worth putting in his usual two hours on the training deck. He’d only just got out of the healing pod that morning, and then spent the rest of the day sleeping in a very uncomfortable position on his bed.

Really, if he missed out on one day of training would it be so … And his obsessive nature reared its ugly head and roared at him no, stop, go because if you slip up, you will feel guilty for days, I’ll make sure of it. 

So he stopped lingering outside and walked in, already mentally picking out which program he wanted to — except a program was already running. One of his custom battle simulations — he could tell because of the fortified positions the gladiators were taking. He tensed, but unless he was introduced as a combatant, the robot gladiators would not attack him.

Unlike Lance. Lance, who was sliding into cover, and then emerging to fire three precise shots, and taking down exactly three robots.

Keith stood off to the side, watching with amazement as Lance took on an incredibly difficult combat scenario Keith had designed. It forced him to use ranged weapons, since he couldn’t always rely on close-combat (though he usually ended up rushing the last few gladiators, taking them out with his sword and shield). The goal of the program wasn’t to eliminate all combatants, but to reach a specific point behind enemy lines.

And Lance was doing it. 

He was pushing forward even as the second phase of the battle sim kicked in, introducing reinforcements. Lance didn’t have his helmet on, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, and whenever he emerged from cover, he always hit what he aimed at — and in the exact same spot. Each gladiator went down to a headshot. 

Every single one. 

And Keith was not only impressed, but also vaguely alarmed. He had never seen Lance be this vicious in battle. This relentless. This merciless. But his dark blue eyes were narrowed, focused, and his mouth set in a grim line. Except when his shots hit. Then Keith could see a slight smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. 

For reasons unknown to the Red Paladin … he started to sweat. Keith wasn’t even doing anything other than standing there, slack-jawed, yet warmth was blossoming on his skin, moisture collecting at his temples. What the hell was happening?

Author’s note: More to come, maybe — this idea just hit me out of nowhere.

Author’s Edit: And now there’s a Part Two Here.

At some point (when this is finished?) I’ll gather it all up as one and post on my AO3 profile— thank you @etoari​ for encouraging me to do so :)

anonymous asked:

Some swordsmen I guess 'wear' their swords on their waist or strapped them to their backs. Most of the time people put them on their waist because it seems practical and rarely for the backs. Is there any pros and cons to the position of their swords? Or this is just merely aesthetic purposes?

“Wear” is the correct term.

Carrying a blade on your belt, (usually on opposite side from your dominant hand) is an entirely practical consideration. It’s not really possible to draw from the back in combat. You can do it, but it involves either some juggling of the blade, or unslinging the scabbard, pulling the blade, and then returning or discarding the scabbard.

Alternately, you can simply reach across your waist and draw a sword. Faster, simpler, easier to do in combat. It’s also going to be out of your way most of the time, while one on your back could become an issue. Finally, while drawing it, you’re putting the blade between yourself and your opponent almost instantly, which can have sometimes have applications in defensive situations.

It’s hypothetically possible to design some kind of scabbard that would hold a blade on the back for easy access. For instance, a sci-fi setting where they use strong electromagnets. It would also be possible to store a collapsing sword on the shoulder, or across the small of the back.

In the real world, slinging a sword (or other weapon) across your back usually meant you intended to ready it before combat, rather than during the melee. Remember, historically, swords were actually a sidearm, and almost never used as a primary weapon. So a soldier would need their sword someplace they could get to it quickly, should their primary weapon (usually a polearm or ranged weapon) fail.

If your character carried a sword as their primary weapon, for example a Zweihander or claymore, then it’s entirely possible they’d carry that across their back, with a sidesword on their waist while traveling. Before a battle, they’d unsling their primary, prepare it for use, and then put their scabbard with their kit. If they were ambushed on the road, it’s far more likely, they’d simply use their sidesword, rather than trying to get at a weapon on their back.

-Starke

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My dice hate me and my friends try to comfort me about it

Context: So we were fighting a group of 4 skeletons and 2 zombies and my character is a Tiefling ranger who is supposed to be a sharp shooter with her longbow and a super good fighter in general. As we were level 2 I picked the archery fighting style so I get a +2 on attack rolls with ranged weapons. We also had just fought 3 imps where I missed every single shot…

DM: So, what are you gonna do?

Me: I’m gonna shoot that skeleton with my longbow (rolls a really low roll) FUCK I MISS AGAIN

DM: *giggling* yup you miss

*skeletons move within close range and slaughter my pet bear*

Me (on my turn): RIGHT I scream ‘NOOOOO’ like they do in films, I whip out my two short-swords and attack the skeletons in a mad frenzy (I roll low again on one but relatively high on the other) *sighs*

DM: In your fury you miss with one but hit with the other. Roll damage.

Me: (rolls low for damage) *mutters* what is happening?

*after the fight has ended; my friends manage to kill all of the monsters. Our dragonborn sorcerer somehow managed to hit me with his firebreath but I said it was okay because I’m a Tiefling so I have fire resistance*

Me: I sit on the ground, heavily depressed and pissed off, and begin to sob loudly about how much of a failure I am, with tears streaking down my face

High-elf Cleric: I go over to Beefling (me) and give her a hug, saying “It’s okay my child, we all make mistakes”

Me: I glare angrily at Al, appreciating his attempt to comfort me but as I’m antisocial af I hate the hug. (OOC) you know Tieflings have like blank eyes right?

High-elf Cleric (OOC): …no? They do? Like…no pupils or anything?

Me (OOC): Yah, and my character has like white/silver eyes

High-elf Cleric (OOC): shit that’s freaky. (IC) I quickly stop hugging Beefling and step away quickly, scared by her freaky-ass eyes

Half-elf Rogue: I tentatively give Beefling a comforting pat on the shoulder, keeping my distance

the bayard is the paladin is the lion: a season 3 prediction

Alternatively titled: Watch This Child Jeopardize Her GPA in Real Time As She Ignores Her Midterms to Write Yet Another Fucking Meta

The lovely @littleblackchats already wrote an awesome post about the symbolism of the bayards for each of the characters in Voltron. But I was wondering: could we take it a step further and use the weapons - and what they say symbolically about the paladins wielding them - to make an informed guess about who’s going to end up in what lion next season?

(even if the answer to that question is no, i’m already writing this so whatever)

Since Allura, Keith, and Lance are the most likely to be swapped into new lions (or, in Allura’s case, to be put into a lion for the first time), I thought it’d be cool to take a look at what the weapons each of them wields says about their personalities, and whether that can give us hints as to who’s gonna be the Black Paladin next season while Shiro’s gone.

Alright, so in episode 1, Allura tells us that a lion’s quintessence is mirrored in its paladin, and that the paladin shapes the bayard. So lion = paladin = bayard. The lion and paladin should be similar in personalty, and the bayard should be compatible to the paladin’s style of fighting and personality as well. This is shown really well in Hunk and Pidge: Pidge’s weapon is small (like her), electric (reflecting her interest in computers), and made for precision (Pidge is more interested in finding clever solutions than just brute-forcing problems), while Hunk’s is big (just like him), long-range (reflecting his wish to stay distanced from conflict), and packs a punch (Hunk is the strongest character on the team, after all).

So the weapons tell us something about the personalities of the ones using them. But what can their respective weapons tell us about Keith, Lance, and Allura?

Keep reading

Running A Clever Dungeon Room...

At any time, you can throw six orcs running down a 10-foot-wide corridor at your players’ characters.

That may be a good fight for some parties, but it’s hardly clever. If the orcs suffer ranged weapon fire, not all of them will be able to reach the PCs’ front line, and none of them will be able to reach the PCs’ back line.

A clever encounter takes advantage of the monsters’ or NPCs’ capabilities and tactics. Clever creatures should spend a lot of time thinking about how they might survive an encounter with well-armed PCs.

Six orcs parked behind cover with heavy crossbows, and a gaping pit in front of them— now that might be a challenge.

Four orcs in that situation, plus two on a ledge behind the PCs might be even better. Four orcs running from a rampaging hill giant … well, you get the idea…

Here are six general strategies for maximizing effectiveness of the monsters and NPCs you throw at your PCs.

Keep reading

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Krintou | Society6
Shop krintou's Society6 store featuring unique art on various products across art prints, tech accessories, apparels, and home decor goods. Worldwide shipping available.

I opened a Society6 store! I’m selling Splatoon weapons shirts at the moment so please take a look!

Current Weapons Shirts available are:

- Tentatek Splattershot

- 52 Gal

- Dynamo Roller

- Eliter 3k Scope

- Custom Range Blaster

Spreading the word would be fully apprecciated, thank you so much!

aint-nothing-but-a-drifter  asked:

Hey Bucky! I love reading about your perspective on life. I was wondering, have you bonded with Tony over non-consensual body modifications? And, has he/does he help out at all with the technical support of your arm?

tony and i have talked about our super fun experiences with becoming cyborgs, yes, and i guess we bonded? honestly though tony and i spend a lot of time geeking out about science and engineering. im nowhere near his level but when hes stumbled across something that really gets him excited he likes to share it with anyone who will listen and im one of the few people in the tower who is genuinely interested in that stuff. bruce is too but is interests are more focused. so often tony will just burst into whatever room im hanging out in and begin ranting about whatever neat science thing has happened. often he is still smoking from whatever explosion he just accidentally set off. 

tony and i mostly bond over cars. both of us are car nerds–or gearheads, if you wanna be picky about it–and we spend a lot of time working on the cars tony already has or just chatting about cars in general. natasha joins us a lot too, believe it or not. she has strong opinions about cars, both as accessories for her various covers, and as getaway vehicles. eventually i think it just kinda turned into an actual interest in cars. so she and tony and i argue cars a lot, because the rest of the avengers couldnt care less. clint drives an ancient pickup truck that is probably more bullet holes than steel, thor is half convinced that every car is gonna hit him (to be fair to thor, hes been hit by cars a lot) bruce just drives whatever, and steve seems to think that cars are some sort of range weapon. 

tony does do my arm maintenance. last time my arm broke it was because he summoned the iron man armor across the city while i was stuffing the insides full of glitter. it broke all of my metal fingers. tony fixed them all except my middle finger, which is currently stuck in flipping-off position. doesnt bother me much though because i do that a lot anyway 

Ask muse how good they are at..

💋 - kissing
👼 - babysitting
🍛 - cooking
💃 - dancing
🎭 - acting/performing arts
🍻 - tolerating alcohol
😠 - managing with their temper
📝- planning and following their plan
🎤- singing
🙊 - keeping secrets
🌷- taking care of plants/pets
😈 - manipulating with others
🏊 - swimming
😂 - telling jokes
📰 - keeping track of world news
📚 - worlds history knowledge
⌚- keeping track of time
💪 - staying fit
😏 - lying
🚗 - driving a car
👗 - dressing with style
🔮 - magic
🔪 - melee weapons
🔫 - ranged weapons
💞 - expressing their feelings
😓 - acknowledging mistakes
🎺 - playing an instrument
🎁 - making gifts
✊ - keeping promises

Everything you (n)ever wanted to know about archery

Originally posted by disneypixar

Don’t watch Lord of the Rings, the Hunger Games, or Avatar. At least, not for the archery. Hollywood is stock full of misinformation and misrepresentation about archery. Sadly, not a lot of writers have the opportunity to really delve into the practice. So here is my all you wanted to know primer from how bows are constructed, to lining up and releasing the shot, to treating your friend’s nasty broadhead wound.

Edit: expanded the debunking section. 

Keep reading

So I was a new player and the DM was new to DMing. I was playing a gnome bard. 

me: (OOC) So can I cast thunderwave just in front of me instead of casting on self?
Dm: why would you want to do that? 
me: (OOC) I am tiny and wish to fly. It would be hilarious.

The DM allows it. There were turns I couldn’t do anything because I didn’t have a ranged weapon and I was still falling. I accidentally blasted a teammate into the ground to the waist, because he had health and I didn’t and I needed to get out of dodge.

The DM rescinded that next session. ;n;

I’d like to imagine that fahc Michael didn’t really have a proper childhood and that’s where he gets his take-no-shit attitude from, because he grew up on his own taking care of himself. However since he didn’t get proper medical attention as other kids did, he never found out he needed glasses.

So in the very early days of the Fakes, Michael developes his love for explosives. He had always been better with widespread weapons because he wasn’t good at aiming. But then he uses his first grenade. It happens during one of the Fake’s first kinda big missions, so Geoff buys some grenades in case they get surrounded or something else goes bad. The mission is overall a success however as the crew races to getaway, an enemy jeep filled with four goons follows them, shooting at their getaway car. Geoff is driving so he hands Michael the grenade and Michael poked his head out of the car, pulls the pin, and throws it under the jeep.

It’s perfect timing. The grenade explodes underneath the vehicle and sends the car flying into the air, now on fire and anyone who was in the vehicle is certainly dead. Michael laughs maniacally, looking back at the sight. Before the car hits the ground Michael knows he wants to do that again.

From then on Michael spends all his heist money on grenades, mines, and c4s. He trains himself on how to use them since he doesn’t know anyone else who specializes in explosives. He’s the first member of the crew to buy his own grenade launcher by saving up his money. Then he gets his favorite weapon in the whole, wide world; his rpg. And Gavin swears he’s in love with his rpg. He’d carry it with him on every mission even though it was a pain in the ass to.

However one mission Michael accidentally blows up Ryan’s bike (while Ryan is off of it) trying to shoot a helicopter out of the sky. Of course Ryan is super pissed off, thinking Michael did it on purpose, but Michael insists it was a complete accident. The whole time Ryan and Michael are arguing Geoff can’t help but notice Michael is squinting. Geoff also knows this is not the first time Michael has made a mistake like this. So he puts two and two together.

“Michael, How often do you get headaches?” Geoff asks.

“I don’t know? Once a week?” Michael responds.

“When’s the last time you had an eye exam?” Jack catches on.

“A what?”

So they take him to an eye clinic under a fake name and Michael gets his eyes checked for the first time in his life. Turns out he’s near-sighted and almost legally blind. At the age of 23 Michael gets his first pair of glasses.

There’s about a week of Michael staying off of heists and just getting used to his new surroundings. He’d stare at practically every leaf on a tree, or get up early to stare at the sunrise. Once Ryan was cooking eggs and Michael came over to stare at the sizzling pan. During that week he must have said the phrase “You guys see this everyday?” about five hundred times.

He breaks his glasses on the sixth day, carelessly putting them in his back pocket and then sitting on them. They go back to the eye clinic to get another pair and Ray has to give him instructions on how to take care of them and clean them.

Once Michael gets back to heists, his performance begins to skyrocket. Now that he can see more than two inches of front of him he can blow up anything he wants with ease. He even eventually becomes accustomed with machine guns and other longer ranged weapons.
He had been living handicapped his whole life without knowing it. Now that he uses his glasses he’s twice as deadly and the thugs of Los Santos begin to fear the Fake crew member who wears glasses and carries an rpg on his back. He also only blows up Ryan’s bike on purpose now.

Jack is also terrified at the thought that they had a practically blind man handling all their explosive power.

swagness2001  asked:

Have you ever thought about writing something where Rock Lee time travels? His lack of chakra or however you choose makes him the safest option or something. And he claims to be Gai's brother or something. I don't know. I just figured you would get a kick out of it.

“Excuse me,” Tenten says with chilling sweetness. “You want to what?”

It says something about how many times Tenten has kicked his ass in sparing, Shikamaru thinks in amusement, that Naruto twitches back out of range of Konoha’s Weapons Mistress with just as much speed as he uses in getting out of Sakura’s range.

“It’s the best solution,” Naruto says, and if it’s a little weak that can probably be excused given how Tenten’s eyes are flashing dangerously. “It won’t work if the traveler’s chakra shifts at all during the trip, and Lee’s the only one we can be certain will manage that. I’d send Gai, but—”

“So,” Tenten interrupts, and Shikamaru takes a discrete step out of range. When Tenten abandons politeness, especially to the Hokage, it usually ends with someone being turned into a pincushion. “You’re going to send Lee back in time to lie repeatedly to everyone he knows in the hope that he can stop Madara from coming back to life for a second time.”

“…Yes?” Naruto asks tentatively, and Shikamaru closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Tenten goes for a scroll, and Shikamaru ducks for cover behind the desk as Naruto starts screaming.

By the time he surfaces several minutes later, the office is peppered with kunai, shuriken, and various other well-maintained weaponry, and Tenten looks satisfied as she looms over her cowering Hokage, rerolling one of her scrolls.

“Not alone, you’re not,” she says decisively. “I’m the only one in Konoha good enough to completely seal my chakra away. You’re going to send me, too.”

“That’s dangerous,” Shikamaru feels the need to point out, and when Tenten turns to him and raises a pointed brow he lifts his hands in surrender. “We have no idea how long the trip will be, and too much time with your chakra sealed will kill you.”

“I know.” Tenten meets his eyes squarely. “But I’m not letting Lee face that alone. He’s one of the best shinobi in the world, but he’s also my teammate.”

Tenten!”

“How troublesome,” Shikamaru mutters, watching the world turn to sunsets and crashing waves as Lee throws himself at his genin teammate. Tenten manages to set her feet enough to keep from being bowled over, and even though she rolls her eyes as she pats him on the back, she looks distinctly fond.

“Your youthful spirit of friendship has moved me to tears!” Lee sobs into her cheongsam. “The spirit of our teamwork is too mighty to ever taste defeat, Tenten! Together we will save the world!”

“Yes, yes,” Tenten sighs, though she’s smiling. Over Lee’s shoulders, she meets Naruto’s gaze. “Naruto, if anything can contain Madara for the rest of eternity, it’s the Treasured Tools of the Sage, and I’m the only one in the world who can use them. Besides,” her voice is wry, “Lee can’t lie to save his life. I can.”

Naruto picks himself up from the weapon-littered floor, wincing a little as Kurama’s chakra takes care of most of the wounds. “All right,” he says finally. “Lee, you’re sure you want to do this?”

“Yosh!” Lee salutes him enthusiastically, offering Tenten a beaming smile. “I will tell Gai-sensei I am his long-lost brother!”

If there’s anyone who will believe it, it’s Gai, Shikamaru thinks wryly. He glances at Tenten, raising a brow, and she crosses her arms over her chest, scowling at him. “Uzumaki Tenten, at your service,” she says primly, and casts a glance at Naruto. “If you don’t object?”

Naruto’s grin is practically blinding. “I’ll adopt you into the family and make it official!” he agrees, bouncing on his toes. “You’re definitely good enough at sealing to be an Uzumaki anyway, believe it!”

Lee flashes into a victory pose. “Team Gai will save the world, have no fear!” he cries.

“What he said,” Tenten agrees cheerfully, and reaches out to grab the kunai that Naruto just pulled out of his shoulder. “Hey, don’t just drop my favorite kunai on the ground! That’s rude!”

Naruto splutters. “Rude? You’re the one that threw it at me!”

Well. Shikamaru looks them over, Lee with his flailing enthusiasm and Tenten locked in her argument with the Hokage over her beloved weapons, and snorts quietly to himself.

Madara won’t even know what hit him.