A few months ago, Mom bought me a twin sized bed for my new apartment. My old bedroom, albeit smaller than my apartments’, had a queen sized bed. It never came across as weird, but now that reality has presented two situations worth comparing, I had to ask my mom.
Me: Mom, why did you buy me a Queen sized bed? My room at home is so small… I mean, it probably didn’t make sense to buy me such a big bed, right? A smaller bed could have saved so much more space. (My brother and sister also have queen sized beds. And they share a room. Yeah, it’s pretty cramped in there).
Mom: laughs sheepishly. You’re right… but when you guys were young, I was afraid ya’ll would roll out of the twin sized bed and hit the ground. So instead, I bought queen sized beds.
And this is made me realized how such a simple explanation revealed mom’s complex and borderline - obsessive behavior to protect us. My mom has always been a step (or two) ahead in making sure me, my sister and brother will stay out of harm. From little things like making sure I get my eight cups of water a day, to sacrificing her time to give us rides to places so we didn’t have to take the bus … she has always been there to make sure we could have it easier.
After hearing her response, it pained me a little. When will she learn to let us go, so we could face the harsher realities of the world? I guess it’s not for me to say, but for her to decide. It’s a mother’s intuition that I have yet to comprehend.
Nevertheless, I love you, mom. As I grow older, I feel like I understand you more. Perhaps we are both understanding each other more. I hope so.