“I’m the biggest asshole you will ever meet. I will tease you about things and make snarky comments. My first language is sarcasm. But if I decide I want you in my life and you make me happy, I will do whatever it takes to keep you. If I know you’re having a bad day I’ll go to the store and buy your favorite ice cream and surprise you with it. Need a ride somewhere? You got it. Let me buy lunch today just because I want to. I’ll send you funny memes or pictures of baby animals to cheer you up. Lets sit and watch your favorite show even though I can’t stand that one actor. I’ll gladly proofread your paper at 2am the night before it’s due. I’ll call you just to tell you about something I saw that reminded me of you. I’ll send you a random paragraph about something you did three weeks that I found adorable and can’t stop thinking about it. I will keep a running list of things you mention you want, so I can get one for your birthday. I’ll make a playlist with songs we both like so we can listen to it in the car. I will draw you a picture everyday for a month and then cover your walls with them. I’ll read your favorite book in a day just so I can see what it is you love about it. Want a list of the things I love about you? Great it’ll be about 60 things long. I’ll write you a letter when I’m bored and mail it to you even though I see you in class. I’ll learn how to make your favorite meal. I save every picture you send me, even selfies, so I have something to look at when I miss you. If I see something that I know you will like I’ll buy it for you without a second thought. I will go ice skating with you even though I can barely stand up. I’ll drive 20 hours round trip just to see you for 2 days. Need help with your homework? I’ll do my best. You’re performing in something? Great when is it. I’ll go to that concert with you even though I have no idea who the band is. I will love you with my whole being. And I will still be the biggest asshole you ever meet.”
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