random shit i find in my room

I’ve been playing Symmetra a lot recently. Here is a list of reasons why:

  • I can bring basketballs, Pachimarus and other Random Shit I find around the map to the objective. 
  • People think it’s a peace offering. I kill them. 
  • I can create Microwave Rooms and sit primly in them while people get paralyzed and die. sometimes I even say “Hello.”
  • I can jump around the objective screaming, “HERE COMES THE DANGER NOODLE!!!!!” in team chat as I wave my Scary Laser Beam at the red team
  • Accidental Plays of the Game, otherwise known as “Whoops, I got a quad kill,” and “FUCKING WARN ME BEFORE YOU NANOBOOST ME ANA [INCOHERENT SCREAMING AND DANGER NOODLE WAVING]”
  • Teleporter Cliff Trolling (aka, DID I NOT TELL YOU TO PLAY DVA?)
  • Watching all the idiots fail to get the basketball in the hoop and then just calmly threading it through the hoop to the ribbons and streamers I deserve

nocht-der-undertoten  asked:

My group is playing Curse of Strahd, and im a Chaotic Good Firbolg (Volo's) Moon druid (currently we're level 4) I often find myself shapeshifting in to random shit to scare people out of the room so i can have a moment with someone i wish to talk to. I once Shapeshifted in to an octopus in order to scare out a bunch of handmaidens so i could talk to the Head of the family alone, when the guards came running in to the room i used my Racial ability to turn invisible and walk out of the house.


anonymous asked:

heres a fun way to find new fics: come up with random words and individually search them with the "search within results" function on ao3. example: search the word "floor" or "makeup" some shit in the viktuuri tag and see what comes up! its how i find new fics, just by looking around my room for examples and searching a random word. it brings up fics ive never seen before! hope this makes sense

What a great suggestion! I’ll definitely start doing this for my more specific requests!

Thanks for sharing and have a fantastic day!

wwwolfram replied to your post “keith sneak into hunk’s room. take his vest.  sew pockets”

Keith wants him to put weapons in it but hunk just has like random notes/reminders to himself and like cool shit he finds on other planets or something Keith: hunk where are your 37 backup knives? Hunk: *pulls out a cool rock he found* yeeeeeaaaahhh sooo…this is all I got Keith: throw it at the enemy Hunk: *shocked and offended* first of all, how dare you

First of all thank you, for this, and second of all of COURSE hunk would collect rocks how has the flown over my head, and third of all
One time I was downtown with my brother and his friend and his friend was like, “you guys want some milk candy,” and I said yeah and my brother said he didn’t want any and this Freaking Dude, opened up a pocket of his vest, and had the Biggest Bag of Milk Candy Ever. he gave me som
anyway vests are very powerful (and tactical ones are sexie imo lol) so yeah. vests w/ pockets…

Joker/Harley Nonsense

[Just random fluffy nonsense/cheesy scenarios/Headcanons that are totally not serious but I have been picturing the SS versions of them doing in my head]

1. Headcanon: It has become well known that Harley is extraordinary at baking but she can’t cook. There have been casualties. 
“I made lasagna guys! Eat up!” 
Frost couldn’t say anything while Harley was still in the room, so all he could do was watch knowing that he would have to potentially find two more guys to replace Dakota and Gunner.
2. The Joker and Harley totally steal each others shit (but technically most things are fair game). 
“Harleyyyyyyyyyy!” Mister J’s growl came from his wardrobe and I paused in the application of my lipstick.
“Yes, puddin’?”
He came out of his wardrobe looking irritated. “Have you touched my gold rolex watches?” 
I casually turned my body a little bit so he couldn’t see how pretty they looked as cuffs on my upper arm. 
“No,” I did notice something else though. 
“Is that… is that my Ruby dream on your lips?” I asked.
He scoffed, “It’s red.” 
Walking over to him I gave him a kiss. “It looks better on you anyway.” 
“You did take them you little-”
“They look better on me!” I danced away from him before he could grab me. 
3. Harley has a big appetite that Mister J finds amusing, impressive, and disgusting.
4. Harley is a cuddler, Mister J is not. When Harley cuddles Mister J he is like a cat, a hissing, growling little cat. 
5. Harley keeps trying to find something to bake that Mister J really likes. When she does he never admits to liking it, but he will shoot anyone who tries to have any.
6. Harley wears a pink fluffy rabbit onesie around the house. 
7. Harley bedazzles Mister J’s things in a way that he is cool with.
8. Harley bought Mister J’s purple cane.
9. Sometimes they do the odd domestic thing that makes Mister J irritated but he also doesn’t mind it. 
Sticking my earring in I walked into the bedroom where Mister J was getting ready for the club tonight. Walking over to him, I put a hand on his shoulder so he turned.
“What?” He growled. 
Silently I undid a few buttons of his dress shirt, fixing his chain so the latch wasn’t hanging down. 
“Get off,” he grumbled. 
Smirking I placed a kiss on his cheek, wiping the lipstick I left behind with my thumb. On my way out I stole one of his jackets, hearing him sigh audibly. 
10. Mister J is the one who tattooed Rotten on Harley’s face and you cannot tell me otherwise.
11. Harley keeps bringing home kittens and Mister J keeps getting Frost to take them back. 
12. Mister J has a ten second limit (sometimes shorter), a person can look at Harley for usually ten seconds and if they exceed that they dead.
13. Mister J has a daddy/sir kink
14. Mister J is also big on the BDSM, he digs handcuffs. He is almost always the dominant one but he is always pleasantly surprised and intrigued when Harley tries to get the upper hand.

Scooby Doo in a nutshell
  • Random Creepy Guy: Run! This place has a spooooooooky monster!
  • Fred: Looks like we have a mystery on our hands.
  • Scooby/Shaggy: Well shit.
  • Fred: Let's split up. I'll go with the girls and you two dumbasses can go get killed on your own.
  • Scooby: Fuck no.
  • Daphne/Velma: How about for a Scooby Snack?
  • Scooby: No. Fuck you.
  • Daphne/Velma: How about for TWO Scooby Snacks?
  • Scooby: Sure.
  • Gang: *splits up*
  • Daphne: *stumbles/falls into secret room*
  • Velma: *finds clues* Jinkies!
  • Scooby: *sees monster* Ruh roh Raggy!
  • Shaggy: Stop messing around, Scoob. *turns around* Zoinks!
  • Gang: *starts chase scene*
  • Velma: My glasses!
  • Monster: *hands her the glasses*
  • Velma: Thanks a l- AAAAAHHHHH!
  • Fred: Here's the plan.
  • Shaggy/Scooby: *fucks it up*
  • Monster: *accidentally captured*
  • Fred: *pulls mask off* Wow! It's *insert name of creepy guy from beginning*
  • Random Creepy Guy: I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!
  • Scooby: Scooby Dooby Dooooooo!
  • Gang: *laughs*
the soul tattoo - eleven

pairing: Luke/Reader (Y/N)
rating: PG (there’s some swearing)

requested: yah

word count: 1300+

summary: If one day you woke up with a random tattoo on your body, you were destined to meet your soulmate soon. When (Y/N) finally gets her soul tattoo, she’s in for a shock when she finds out who her soulmate is.

one // two // three // four // five // six // seven // eight // nine // ten

Originally posted by sexycliffconda

(Your POV)

“You have his number?!” (Y/F/N) yelled. She was sitting right in front of me. I didn’t know why she had to yell. We were in my room eating ice cream and watching Netflix on my bed, when I finally decided to tell her the crazy shit that had happened today at work. 

I ended up taking a raincheck with my plans with Mikey. I couldn’t bear to hang out with him after just meeting Luke. It was just too weird and confusing.
So after work I went to this cute little ice cream shop on the corner near mine and (Y/F/N)’s apartment and bought two pints of my favorite ice cream, salted caramel, and a pint of (Y/F/N)’s favorite ice cream, mocha almond fudge. 

Keep reading

Today I fucked up... by donating all my books

I fucked up today by letting my mom donate all my old books from back when I was a kid. I used to have all these random almanac books and time life books as a kid. I had hundreds of them. But of course as I grew older, I grew tired of these books, and found a new use for them - drawing dicks. I would sometimes just randomly grab one of these books and bring it with me to school so I can doodle on them and vandalise when I’m bored. I would draw a bunch of dicks and erase letters in sentences to spell ‘penis’ or ‘fuck’ or whatever shit I could find in the words. This morning my mum walked into my room and just started grabbing all of them. She told me she was going to donated them to a library. And since it was early in the morning, I was really groggy and disoriented, so I just said yes. Later on the day, she called me up and told me how grateful the library was for my generous donation and that they thought it would ‘help children learn so much’ that’s when I remembered. I would’ve tried getting it back, but it’s too late. So I guess the only things these kids are going to learn is how a penis looks like, and 20 different words that shouldn’t be in their vocabulary til the next ten years.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

(Ignore my messy room.)

Holy shit, I’m really happy right now. My mom took me to get a new backpack for school and we ended up stopping at GameStop. Then my mom got me a fucking Xbox One and now I can actually play Fo4. I was hoping my mom would get me one for my birthday, but I really didn’t think she would.

Now I just have to wait for the updates to find my sons.

Fun Fact: I now own every Xbox made. The original Xbox, an Xbox 360 and now an Xbox One.


okay so it’s friday the 13th already and i’m superstitious so i’m already kinda freaked out but i just went to walk my neighbors dog (its 11pm and pitch black) so i walk into the house and let the dog outside when from upstairs this creepy soundtrack starts playing. like. blasting throughout the house from a room upstairs. LOUD. kinda like a song you’d hear in a music box. and i’m like. holy shit. what the fuck is going on. so i get the dog and i run out of the house back to mine and ask my dad to come with me. so we go back into the house and the music is still playing and we walk upstairs even tho i was about to shit my pants (and mind the fact my neighbors aren’t home, they left for vacation, hence why i’m watching the dog) and we slowly open the media room door to find the TV on and playing a random dvd menu. i dont know how, and i dont know why. and i dont even want to think about it. but i was so freaked out.