random picture of my life

I’ve had a great week at work, but I still can’t shake the blues. So it was a treat to remember I’d been tagged by @rayonthego. I’ve done something like this recently, but I think some of the questions are different.

Name: Rebecca
Nickname: Beka. Never, never, never Becky.
Gender: Yes
Star Sign: Libra
Height: 5′ 6″
Sexual Orientation: bisexual
Hogwarts: Gryffindor
Favorite Color: Greens and blues
Favorite Animal: Tree Frog
Average Hours of Sleep: Never enough
Time Right Now: 9:25 A.M.
Cat or Dog Person: Both

A Favorite Fictional Character: I could never choose a favorite, but the two that spring to mind first are Hermione Granger and Marion Stone (half of a pair of formerly conjoined twins in Cutting for Stone).
Number of Blankets: One
Favorite Singer/Band: Again, impossible. But when I look at my music, I apparently have almost every song The Kinks ever put out.
Dream Trip: A long tour of Italy. Florence is my favorite of any city I’ve ever visited.
Dream Job: Working at a charitable foundation.
When Was This Blog Created: 2009, but I only reblogged for the first couple of years.
Current Number of Followers: More than I deserve.
When Did Your Account Peak: I would probably gauge the success of my blog by how therapeutic it was for me. So on a purely personal level, I think 2013 to 2014 was when I really exorcised a lot of demons.
What Made You Decide to Make a Tumblr: All the pretty pictures.
Why Did You Pick Your URL: My name is Beka, and it was available.
Last Thing I Googled: succubus and incubus

Fictional Character You’d Like as a Sibling: Christopher Robin
How Many Blogs I Follow: Way too many. I feel guilty, because I can’t keep up with all of you. But I can’t quit you.
What Do I Post About: My daily life, my face, phone pictures, and random thoughts.
Do You Get Asks On a Regular Basis: Yes. I have been so supported here, that it’s ridiculous. It feels unmerited, but I appreciate the kind words from my friends here more than you know.
Aesthetic: Pre-hoarder

Thank you, Ray!!

I will tag @lipstickspice, @drethecajun, @officeslave6, @jeffwcpa, and @mindfullofnothingness .

i swear to god these tumblr ads just look more and more like a shitpost every single day

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@cymmetry tagged me in this meme, which i think i am doing correctly; it did not come with instructions.

01. Desk clutter: birbday bird by @fauxtalian, Turing, plush Kylo, Ebby’s tipsy turtle, an obnoxious amount of Little Twin Stars stuff
02. Why did I take a picture of my hand with a dime on a subway car? I don’t even remember taking it? (edit: the dime picture was….a screenshot of the original dime picture. why did i 1. photograph myself holding a dime and 2. screenshot that photograph. i remember none of this)
03. Spotted on the 6, relevant to my interests
04. Dorothy Parker gin, shared with a friend
05. grumpy mug is best mug
06. if we fits, we sits (ft. smallest nibling)
07. 2016/2017 so far
08. The late, great Ebony 
09. Overdressed on New Years Eve
10. TOMCAT from Read Only Memories, because of reasons

fwoo, okay, I’m gonna tag @cosleia, @pangodillo, @gaycactus, @fauxtalian, and anyone else who wants to play

I really try not to post anything personal on here, but this is important to me… 

Today is the worst day of my life. Today I lost my cat. He was 17 years old. Of course he was more than just my cat. We adopted him as a kitten when I was only 5 years old (I’m 22 now). We got the news that his kidneys were failing about two years ago, they didn’t think he would make it this long. Recently we found out he had developed a heart murmur and cancer as well. Today he only weighed 7lbs and had not eaten more than a few nibbles in a weeks. It was time.

I can still remember the shelter where we got him, my mom pointed him out, a tiny little light brown chocolate-siamese. We took him home and he became my best friend. He loved me so much, when we got more cats years later, he would sleep with me every night and refuse to allow another cat to even sit on my bed. 

He’s the only one who didn’t change for even a second throughout my transition, I was still his favorite person in the whole world. No matter how much I changed, he was there sleeping on my pillow every night just the same. No matter how grumpy of a cat he was, he never missed a chance to rub his nose on my face and put his forehead against mine with enough force to knock me off balance. I must’ve cried a million tears into his fur, but not once did he walk away or get upset. If I was upset or feeling sick, he would always find me and lat in my lap. When I had top surgery, he sat on my lap the entire time. When I had my break-ups, he let me hold him for hours. I talked to him about everything. I can’t picture my life without him.

I can remember the random bursts of energy he would get, even as his arthritis caused him so much pain, where he would run in circles around the house and run up and down the stairs causing as much mayhem as possible. We had to keep our bread away because he would tear it to shreds over-night, we had to buy a lidded trash can because if there was a trace of anything there that he might want he was there, he ate all of the tails off his mice and when we were little he would leap into the air to grab one of my balloon strings and bring it down to eat it, leaving me to come back to a balloon on the ceiling I couldn’t reach. He became so weak, he couldn’t keep his balance as he walked and could no longer get into a litter-box. Nobody will ever fill the hole in my heart where he once was. Nothing will ever be the same and I’m scared.

Every time the thought of death crossed my mind, I would hug him and know he would be devastated if I left him. I’m terrified because he won’t be there anymore. I could never love anything as much as I loved him and I can only hope that he knew that. What am I to do? I never wanted to see the day where he would be gone forever. But even more, I never wanted him to lose me. I’ll never forget what he did for me… I will miss him for the rest of my life…