random goalies

the first time Chowder steps into Bitty’s room, he gets this weird vertigo

he squeezes his eyes shut, and when he opens them again, it’s like he’s opening them for the first time

“Chowder? everything okay?” Bitty asks him, and Chowder whirls around and yells

“WHY DOESNT JACK HAVE PUPILS”

Bitty’s like… ????

“it is impossible to bake a pie in 15 seconds,” Chowder whispers. “im… pos… sible.”

a very worried Bitty ushers him over to the bed and gets him to lie down

“too much narrative cohesion to be real…” Chowder is mumbling, and then something about a kickstarter

Bitty is about to call 911 when Chowder’s phone rings

Chowder answers it

listens for several minutes without saying a word

then hangs up and dashes for the door

“wait, hold up, are you all right?” Bitty demands

and Chowder says “yeah! but the zine’s going on sale in a minute and I gotta run if I’m gonna get one. sounds like it’s a ‘swawesome interrogation of the overlap between authorial space and consumer transformation PLUS in it I get smooches! you do too, Bitty! everybody gets PTB-approved semi-fanonical smooches!”

he flails his arms and runs away

Bitty picks up the phone and says, “this is Johnson, isn’t it.”

all he hears is the clang of a puck against iron, and the call ends.

Bitty smiles, shakes his head in fond bemusement, and says into the dead air

“he’s gonna do you proud.”

(current) NHL player's by sign
  • Aries: Sergei Gonchar, Scott Hartnell, Pascal Dupuis, Michael Ryder, Dion Phaneuf, Brent Seabrook, Dustin Byfuglien, Alexandre Burrows, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins
  • Taurus: David Krejci, Jonathan Toews, Brad Marchand, Daniel Girardi, Brad Richards, Ryan Getzlaf, David Backes, Jordan Eberle, Kris Versteeg, James Van Riemsdyk
  • Gemini: Erik Karlsson, David Perron, Martin St. Louis, Radim Vrbata, Milan Lucic, Derek Stepan, Kevin Bieksa, Niklas Hjalmarsson, Roman Josi, Jason Demers
  • Cancer: Brooks Laich, Joe Thornton, Duncan Keith, Jarome Iginla, Dan Boyle, Pavel Datsyuk, Loui Eriksson, Jamie Benn, Joe Pavelski, Dennis Seidenberg,
  • Leo: Evgeni Malkin, Patrice Bergeron, Zach Parise, Sidney Crosby, Shea Weber, Jakub Voracek, Sam Gagner, Evander Kane, Carey Price, Jonathan Bernier
  • Virgo: Anze Kopitar, Ryan Kesler, Wayne Simmonds, Antti Niemi, Carl Hagelin, Alexander Ovechkin, Ben Scrivens, Joffrey Lupul, John Tavares, Derick Brassard,
  • Libra: The Sedin's, Chris Kunitz, Henrik Zetterberg, Daniel Briere, Phil Kessel, Mark Giordano, Johnny Oduya, Nazem Kadri, Carl Soderberg, Nail Yakupov
  • Scorpio: Eric Staal, Patrick Kane, Brandon Saad, Dustin Brown, Chris Kelly, Max Pacioretty, Taylor Hall, Matt Moulson, Luke Schenn, Carl Gunnarsson,
  • Sagittarius: Nicklas Backstrom, Gabriel Landeskog, David Booth, Olli Jokinen, Matt Stajan, Dan Hamhuis, Mark Streit, Gregory Campbell, Vladimir Tarasenko, Brian Boyle,
  • Capricorn: Corey Crawford, Patrick Sharp, Paul Stastny, Johan Franzen, TJ Oshie, Marian Hossa, Jeff Carter, Claude Giroux, Niklas Kronwall, Matt Duchene,
  • Aquarius: Tyler Seguin, Ryan Suter, Mikhail Grabovski, Jaromir Jagr, Steven Stamkos, Ryan O'Reilly, Max Talbot, Adam Henrique, Tyler Myers, Alex Galchenyuk,
  • Pisces: Tuukka Rask, Andrew Ference, Zdeno Chara, Alexander Semin, Bobby Ryan, Brent Burns, Paul Martin, Tyler Bozak, Daniel Winnik, Bryan Bickell