random and ugly

Anyway I bought a pride flag which is why I’m in such a gay mood rn
Honestly working out my sexuality has been so hard for me but getting this flag was just… It cemented it ya know?
When I was 10 I had a dream where I had a girl and a boy in front of me and I had to choose. It was so hard for me. Eventually I chose the guy because I thought I had to.
Two years ago I came out as pan to one person. Last year I was out to most people. This past year I realised a lot more about myself. Like the attraction I held towards men was more of an idealisation and something I wanted to be like rather than wanted to date (like why didn’t I realise that sooner? I always wrote straight song lyrics from the male perspective like clearly I was into chicks). Basically I’m hella gay.
Idk. I’m emotional today tho. Sometimes I worry I’m making it up or pretending to be gay for attention (then again I also worry the same for pretty much everything I do. Man I am just super paranoid don’t mind me)
But yeah. No turning back now the flag is here and has locked me into The Gay™

3

Flug- “You can’t be ugly if you don’t show your face”
BH is just regular “I H8 U ALL”

It was a pleasure painting them public and share with world.

(Also little Anxiety Person in bottom corner painted also by me lol)

DATING MARK OR basically boyfriend!mark

im even ready for this asdfghjkl;

  • bro mark would be so freaking perfect as boyfriend 
  • like he would be so into calling each other “babe” because it’s so freaking cute NOT TO MENTION HE WOULD GIVE YOU THAT CUTE ASS SMILE LIKE THE ONE ABOVE
  • lots of hand holding especially around the other members
  • ESPECIALLY AROUND BAMBAM BC THAT BOY IS SOOOOOO TOUCHYYYYY 
  • normal conversations in English that somehow drift into Korean and you guys are just speaking a mixture of both  
  • lots and lots and lots of KISSES
  • I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH THAT BOY HAS LIPS AND HE WILL PUT THEM TO USE 
  • cute goodmorning/goodnight calls because he prefers listening to your voice before he goes to sleep and right before he wakes up 
  • random ugly snaps in the middle of the day, whether he’s on tour, at practice JUST WHENEVER OKAY  
  • back hugs
  • back hugs 
  • did i say back hugs 
  • BC BACK HUGSSSSSS 
  • THIS BOY WILL LOVE TO PRESS HIMSELF AGAINST YOU WHENEVER POSSIBLE 
  • NOT TO MENTION WHEN YOU’RE IN ONE OF HIS SHIRTS OR BIG ASS SWEATERS 
  • *calms down* dEEP BREATHS 
  • datessssss 
  • i feel like you and mark would have lots of dates
  • but like not the types where you always go out and do something 
  • more of the stay at home and watch a movie and make cookies type
  • but of course there would be the casual ones like taking coco for a walk WITH POOR EOMMA YOUNGJAE CALLING EVERY SECOND WONDERING WHERE THEY KIDNAPPED HIS POOR BABY 
  • and there would be the dates where Jackson would tag along mostly because you could never say no to him simply because he was annoying as fuckkk
  • there would also those dates where we have jinyoung spamming mark because that’s his man and you have no right just “taking him and seducing him” 
  • but back to being serious and to what all you lil hoes have been waiting for  S I N 
  • so basically sex with mark would be special
  • you guys would have restless nights of love making 
  • meaningful love bites trailing down your chest and thighs 
  • sweet whispers of i love you’s 
  • lots and lots of ass grabbing 
  • lets be S E R I O U S mark tuan is an ass person 
  • but he would love each and every single inch of your body
  • but of course mark tuan isn’t anything but vanilla in bed 
  • 95% of the time you guys aren’t whispering sweet nothings into each others ears you’re moaning curse words out loud keeping up you’re neighbors for the 3rd night in a row
  • which one of the main reasons you don’t sleep over at the dorms half of the time
  • heavy breathing and tiny lil whimpers coming out of his mouth simply because YOU WORK HIM SOOO GOOD!!!!!!!111!!1!!!!!!
  • long line of curse words leaving each others mouths with moans coming right after each one of them 
  • finishing each other still feeling as euphoric as you did in the moment
  • mark picking up his t shirt and putting in on you and laying you back down taking you into his embrace 
  • staring at each other in silence as he strokes your hair feeling lucky as ever because you’re his girl and he’s yours while feeling content over the fact that his family may be thousands of miles away but he has never felt so at home laying down next you in each others embrace 
  • thinking about the future but not to far into it because all he knows is that he wants you by his side forever and that’s all he is asking for
  • being perfect in each others eyes
  • OKAY IM GONNA STOP BC MY HEART IS NOT OKAY JUST KNOW MARK TUAN IS A PERFECT ANGEL THAT DESERVES THE WORLD  

                                                                      ~ Erica

PS. DON’T FORGET TO REQUEST MORE OF THESE OR WHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT!!! ly