"A libertarian is just a progressive who has not yet learned that forces outside your control can completely derail your life."

What is with the unsightly rash of smug, white, Galtian-types invading the 99% Tumblr?

Don’t these people have better things to do with their time than troll? Like learn how to perform surgery on themselves or make their own toilet paper or something?

We get it: you’re a special snowflake and think the rest of us are lazy, irresponsible whiners and any troubles we’re experiencing are entirely self-made.

Now kindly GTFO my social justice movement and go fuck yourselves…which seems to fit more with your whole, self-help, bootstraps ethos anyway.

So this man–young-ish, handsome-ish–walks in, a grin on his face, a bounce in his step, his kith and kin not far behind, and he says “I’m looking for Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand?" 

And beholding his sparkly white polo shirt and sparkly clean haircut and sparkly smug smile I think Of course you are, dear, and scurry off to fetch it for him. 

"Great!” He says, and “Oh, I don’t have my wallet…” And, turning back to his aforementioned posse, “Hang on, I’m gonna get these guys to buy it for me!" 

And thus our heroine nods and smiles and definitely doesn’t choke on her coffee cracking the hell up

“Open up the dope valves and let the people take all the dope they want.
Let ‘em dope themselves on out till there’s nothing left of it.
Let the people do what they want to do.
Take the rules and regulations off of it and then what you have left is the people that want to live.
The people that want to die, let 'em go. The people that want to destroy themselves, let them go ahead and destroy themselves.”
–Charles Manson (the hyper-Calvinist/Randian-libertarian)