ranch mix

4

Meal prep.

Breakfast:
-3 days of pb banana chocolate overnight oats
-3 days of blueberry banana cinnamon pays

Lunches:
-2 BBQ chicken, roast yam, and super veggie mix
-2 ranch Parmesan chicken, roast yam, and super veggie mix
-2 salsa chicken, roast yam, and super veggie mix

Snacks:
-5 fruit salad (blueberries, strawberries, grapes)
-5 servings carrots and boiled eggs

Me and the eggs got into a fight when I was peeling them. Whatever. They’ll taste the same! Haha.

Vegan Taco Soup

this recipe makes TONS of leftovers. it freezes well and you can just cut the recipe in half for a smaller amount!!
before i was vegan i used to make taco soup for my family all the time, and you could easily add some ground meat by sautéing about half a large package of ground meat of your choice, onions, bell peppers, some garlic, and some salt and pepper together before adding the canned veggies. you can also cook this in the crockpot, just cook the meat beforehand and dump everything into the pot and let it cook for a few hours or overnight.

Ingredients-
-2 cans of black beans
-2 cans of red kidney beans
-1 or 2 cans of corn
-1 can of rotel (diced tomatoes with green chilies)
-lots and lots of garlic, about three or four tablespoons of the jarred stuff and a few teaspoons of garlic powder. it adds a different flavor
-2 frozen or fresh chopped onions
-1 chopped bell pepper (optional)
-salt and pepper to taste, start with a tablespoon of each
-about half a tablespoon of cumin
-a few tablespoons of chili powder. this is what gives the soup the color and flavor it needs to be good taco soup so don’t be afraid of putting too much.
-(optional) a tablespoon or so of cajun seasoning. it makes a huge difference, i put this stuff in everything. if you use it you should probably put it before the salt since sometimes it can be a bit salty
-a few splashes of hot sauce
-tortilla chips (optional)
-shredded cheese and sour cream (optional)
-packet of ranch dressing mix, it adds a wonderful flavor. (optional)

Instructions-
1. sauté the meat and not canned veggies if you’re using meat in a large pot with a little olive oil, if not then this step is completely optional.
2. add all the canned ingredients and as much water as you’d like, i usually put five or six cans of water.
3. add all the rest of the ingredients and taste it to make sure it tastes right. if you think it needs something try putting garlic, salt, chili powder or onion powder.
4. bring the soup to a boil and cook on medium low heat for 40-60 minutes. serve with sour cream, cheese, or tortilla chips.

***note*** if you aren’t putting meat in your soup you might have to put less salt. i’ve noticed that the meat absorbs a lot of the salt and spice, so be cautious with it. you can always add more to your serving.

Slime Rancher: guide to quick n easy chickens for the carnivores in your life

I’ve heard many people say that raising chickens in SL is a pain, and I get that. Curse the 12 chicken rule, I say. For this reason, I see so many largo ranches that mix tabbs, booms and hunters with more placid slimes for utility. When I saw @theslimeologist tags on a post concerning hunter/tabbs, I decided to reveal my great secret that allows me to keep my own beautiful hunter tabbs eating their stony hens and producing plorts galore, my secret to crashing two plorts on the market, if you will. So, what’s the secret then?

Turns out animal rights activists are right. For me on my ranch, I live under one rule: the hen hens taste better if they’re free range!

Yep, that’s right! Here’s some steps to better and easier hens.

1. Get 1500 newbucks

2. Buy the Overgrowth

3. DO NOT PUT SLIMES OR COOPS IN THE OVERGROWTH. make it strictly a garden instead. I have pogos and phases growing there so I can exchange the useless crop for a favorite one.

4. Chuck 3 roostros, a briar hen, a stony hen, and a painted hen (ver. 6.0) as well as a mixed bag of chickadoos in there. Hen-hens are already in the overgrowth before you put anything in there.

5. Profit! Free ranging bypasses the 12 hen rule as that applies only to coops, and due to how the game handles mobs, they Won’t wander into the main ranch or into the docks! As long as no slimes live in the overgrowth as per the instructions, give the place a few days and they’ll be spawning like crazy.

Things to note:
If all your largos have their favorite plant growing already, the chickens can serve as a backup in case you run low. Try to regularly clean out the elderly as they can be saved in a coop on the main ranch if you need them for the carousel achievement or as snacks for free roamers.

And that’s it! My guide for quick and effortless poultry perfection. If you have any more troubles with things in slime rancher, feel free to drop me an ask. I’m always open to share my advice, rancher to rancher. Anyways, toodles! My hunter tabbs need their stonies!

EDIT: tagged the wrong blog. Oops- Fixed now.
2

Dinner tonight featured rutabaga fries!!

Yesterday Kevin asked me to pick up a vegetable for tonight’s dinner so I grabbed a rutabaga as I saw it used in several keto recipes.

I swear, these tasted SO much like sweet potato fries but with a third of the carbs. Don’t get me wrong, these still packed about 10g of carbs into my day but by golly was it worth it. Dipped it into a sauce mix of ranch and sriracha and omg yum.

Paired with a green salad with feta cheese, tomatoes, sunflower seeds and bacon bits and leftover burger from last night.

4

what i like about this show is that it’s so relatable

Daily Phlint

Phil stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, the search for his reading glasses forgotten at the sight of Clint, standing over the sink, eating the last of the mashed potatoes straight from the pot. 

“Ish yisn’t bot ie blooks blike,” Clint mumbled through his mouthful of food. 

“If you were still hungry,” Phil said, “you’re always welcome to have a second or third helping.” 

Shaking his head, Clint put the pot in the sink, grabbed his glass,  took a long drink of water, and swallowed. “It’s just …” Three more sips. “I have this thing, I guess.” He turned and leaned against the counter, avoiding Phil’s eyes. “About leftovers. Nat says it’s a learned behavior …” 

Phil crossed the space in three steps and pulled Clint close. “I love you,” he said. “You can eat as much as you want, whenever you want. I promise you’ll never go hungry while I’m around.” 

Strong arms tightened around Phil’s waist as Clint buried his nose in the crook of Phil’s neck. Phil stroked along the soft cotton that covered Clint’s back and felt him relax in Phil’s hold. 

 “I know, I do, but …,” Clint finally said with a sigh, “… your mashed potatoes are too good to go to waste. It’s ranch dressing mix, I bet.”

“If I tell you the secret Coulson family recipe, I’d have to kill you … or keep you forever,” Phil replied, well aware when Clint was changing the subject to avoid talking about an issue. “Since Nick values you as an asset, guess that means we go with the forever  option.”

“Okay,” Clint answered. “Forever it is.” 

5 Ways You Didn't Know You Could Use Greek Yogurt

From baking to grilling and dressing to dipping, there are so many delicious ways to use Greek yogurt in the kitchen. That’s why we partnered with , who just released new ranch dressing and dips mixes that are specifically formulated to be made with Greek yogurt.

Whipped Garlic Butter Mashed Potatoes

The secret to my supercreamy mashed potatoes? Greek yogurt. Years ago I mistakenly added a big dollop of yogurt instead of sour cream to my steaming potatoes and figured it was too late to turn back. The result? So good. And these whipped potatoes get a big flavor boost thanks to a garlic butter sauce.

Buttercream Frosting

Strained Greek yogurt transforms into a thick base for creamy buttercream frosting for your next batch of cupcakes or a flavorful layer cake.

Caramelized Red Onion Fettuccine


Be warned, you’re going to want to lick your plate after savoring a serving of thisfettuccine dish that’s elevated with caramelized red onions. It’s a lovely side dish with grilled chicken or stands alone with a side salad.

Marinated Flank Steak

The wonders of Greek yogurt really stand out with this recipe for marinated flank steak; it tenderizes the tough cut of meat while flavoring it. And after searing the steak on your grill, serve alongside a tangy yogurt sauce that adds a final punch of flavor.

Summer Cheesecake

I’m a big fan of cheesecake, but during the Summer, baking isn’t an option. This version that uses Greek yogurt finishes in the fridge, making it the perfect slice to end a long day.


Really nice recipes. Every hour.

Show me what you cooked!

Crockpot Creamy Cheesy Chicken Chili

So I made this today, and if I may say so, it fucking rocks.  It’s spicy and creamy and hot and yummy and nutritionally sound.  Trust me, I know, I have high cholesterol.

Ingredients:

  • 2 chicken breasts, skinless and boneless
  • 1 15oz can of sweet corn
  • 1 10oz can of diced tomatoes with chilis
  • 1 15.5oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 packet of dry ranch dressing mix
  • ½ vidalia onion, diced
  • 1 8oz package of fat-free cream cheese (or whatever fat ratio you prefer, you know, live your life)
  • lime juice, a healthy splash
  • ½ cup white wine (doesn’t matter what kind; you don’t even need to use wine.  I just never use my crockpot without it.)
  • cilantro
  • cumin
  • cayenne pepper

So, step the first!  Take a bowl and dump in your corn (with the can water - try not to think too hard about the words “can water”), matoes and chilchils (with can waterAHHIDIDITAGAIN!), and RINSED black beans (dude - no can water.  Black bean water is like mud.).  Throw in your onions, dressing mix, lime juice, wine, and spices.  You will note I did not give measurements for the spices.  This is because I don’t measure spices, so…  You know.  Fly free.

Anyway, take your bowl and mix that shit up with a spoon.

Put your chickens in the bottom of the crockpot.  They can be raw or frozen, doesn’t matter, that’s the miracle of the crockpot.

Dump your mixing bowl of rad over the chicken.

Place your brick o’ cream cheese on top.

Cover up and cook on high for 4 to 6 hours.

Listen.  I know it’s hard because the smell that will soon emanate from your kitchen will be nothing short of heavenly.  But you CAN’T OPEN THE CROCKPOT EARLY TO SMELL OR PEEK OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO DO!  This adds a ridiculous amount of cooking time.  Just let it stew like you did the last time you thought of a really good comeback like, five hours after your bitchy sister-in-law gave you shit over your, frankly, fucking fabulous shoes.  Don’t open the pot.  The chili will get on fine without your interference.  Get off its case.

When it’s time, open up the crockpot and pull the chicken out.  You’re going to need tongs because it will now be all fall-aparty.  Pull it apart into little tiny shreds with forks and throw it back in the pot.

Mix it all up.  The cream cheese won’t melt while cooking, so don’t be alarmed that it is still in brick form.  Just keep mixing and it will all blend together.

I split mine into 12 small servings, for one of which the nutritional information is as follows:

  • Calories: 144
  • Carbohydrates: 14
  • Fat: 2
  • Saturated Fat: 0
  • Cholesterol: 27
  • Fiber: 3

Enjoy, bitches.

The Superlative Chemistry 7

Amy wakes up still entangled in Sheldon’s limbs. The light from his lamp is still on and Sheldon is passed out. When she checks the time on her watch she sees that it is almost six in the morning. If she leaves now she can get back to her house before her mother wakes up and get ready for church. One of her mother’s only stipulations for the sleepover was that she be back in time for church.

Amy scoots away from him carefully he rolls over but does not wake up. Looking at him sleeping for a moment before she bends down and kisses his cheek. Sheldon smiles in his sleep and rolls over to the other side. Then she sneaks down the hall to Missy’s room where her bag still is. Missy is laying on her belly spread out on her bed dead to the world. Amy gets the bag without waking her and then sneaks out to the front door. The house is completely trashed if she had more time she would try and clean up a bit. As it is she only has a short window of opportunity to get home before her mother wakes up.

The neighborhood Sheldon and Amy live in is one of the many that sprouted up across the country in the sixties and seventies. The roads perfectly planned and the homes homogeneous mix of ranches, split levels, and colonials. If she were to follow the streets to get home the trek would take her ten minutes. If she were to cut through the yards she can get there in five. Sheldon never lets them take the shortcuts. Saying cutting through someone’s yard was unauthorized access. That by not following the roads the set themselves up to met strange dogs, and run the risk of shotgun fire by paranoid neighbors. In the wee hours of this January morning it was a risk Amy was willing to take.

Amy was still adjusting from California to Texas weather. The fall had been warmer and the winter was much cooler. Goosebumps rise on her arms as she jogs through the wet grass to get to her house. The sun is just rising in the sky and the clouds are violently pink. Amy thinks how if Sheldon were with her he would explain about the ozone and how the colors were created. She smiles to herself thinking about it, wishing he were here with her. Then thinking how crazy it was that she could miss someone she just left.

When she gets to her house she sees that it is still dark. Amy sneaks inside and heads to the bathroom to take a shower. Looking in the bathroom mirror she looks like a wreck. The black mascara Missy applied is smudged around her eyes from tears and sleep. The product Missy put in her hair has turned it stringy and greasy. Worst of all is the dark purple slash on her throat almost exactly in the shape of Sheldon’s mouth.

“Alright Cinderella.” She tells her reflection. “You’ve turned into a pumpkin.” She sighs and she hops in the shower.

The hot water will fix the make up, and greasy hair. But it will take some explaining about the hickey. Then a stroke of genius hits her. In one of her mother’s campaigns to make her more presentable she insisted she start curling her hair. It was an unmitigated disaster, the curl fell out of her hair instantly. Then she had burned her neck trying to curl it. A burn that was the exact color and shape of the mark now on her neck.

Once out of the shower she dries her hair dresses in her best church dress. Then she goes back to the bathroom and digs the curling iron out of the drawer. Amy curls her hair then rushes downstairs to make her mother’s tea.When her mother comes downstairs she is pleasantly surprised by her being home already and her put together appearance.

“Why Amy, don’t you look nice today? I guess you remembered today is the day the new pastor arrives. We are having a luncheon to welcome him.” Amy hadn’t she had taken to hiding in an abandoned Sunday school classroom during service. Her mother was so busy paying the organ she neve noticed her absence.

“Of course mother.” Amy says. “That’s why I tried curling my hair.”

“I see, it looks very pretty.”

“I burned myself again.” Amy winces revealing the purple slash on her neck.

“Oh Amy!” Her mother clucks coming over to inspect the wound. “You are the klutziest little thing.”

“I know.” Amy sighs a weight lifted off her chest as her mother kisses her cheek. Her mother had bought it hook line and sinker.

“You know we should invite Sheldon along with us today.” Her mother says sitting down and taking a sip of her tea. “You could show your handsome beau off to the congregation.” Amy blushes at the thought of her mother making a big deal over Sheldon in front of everyone. Sheldon’s obvious discomfort at being shown off like a prize pony and being in church. Amy is about to tell her what a bad idea it is when suddenly inspiration hits again.

Sheldon’s mother was due to return home this afternoon. Him and his siblings would all be in trouble with the state the house is in now. But she might be able to rescue him from trouble. If he was out if the house and in church.

“That is an excellent idea mother. I’ll go call him now.” She says rising from the table and going to the phone in the hallway. Amy picks up the receiver and prays he will pick up the phone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In his dream Sheldon hears the front door shut and he jolts awake.

“Daddy?” Sheldon asks sleepily. A memory of his father coming home in the wee hours of the morning surfacing. Then he remembers that it is fast approaching the anniversary of his father’s death. That George Sr. had not been slamming through front doors since last February. Another memory surfaces in his hazy recollection of last night. Falling asleep with Amy pressed into his chest. “Amy?” He asks opening his eyes and finding the bed empty.

As much he had enjoyed falling asleep next to her. It had been his first good night of rest in a while. He was glad she had made an early escape. He can only imagine what everyone else would think if they discovered them in bed together. Sheldon thinks about getting up too but his head is pounding and his mouth feels thick and fuzzy. Amy was right there had been more than just coke in the drinks he had been provided. He lays in bed until the urge to evacuate his bladder becomes too strong and he stumbles into the hallway just as the phone begins ringing. He picks up up with a froggy hello.

“Sheldon?” He hears Amy’s voice ask.

“You left.” He says yawning.

“I think you should come to church with me today.” She says ignoring him, Sheldon has learned that when she does that her mother is near.

“Why on earth would I do that?” He asks annoyed.

“LOOK around you it’s a beautiful day. A little church might keep you out of TROUBLE.” She insists and Sheldon follows the words she empathized looking around and seeing the utter destruction if the house.

“Dear lord! What happened in here?” He asks, his mother will be home any time now. There is no way he could clean up the mess by himself in time.

“Your MOTHER wouldn’t mind if she came home and discovered you were in CHURCH.” Any insists and he mulls it over. It may not save him from troubke completely but he would at least be out of the house when the hammer went down.

“Let me take a shower and get dressed. I can be at your house in twenty minutes.”

“My mother says we can pick you up.” Then she whispers into the phone so quietly she can barely hear her. “You might want to wear a turtleneck if you have one.” Before he can ask her why she was making such an odd request the line goes dead.

“I love her but she is an odd duck sometimes.” He sighs to himself as he stumbles to the bathroom and starts to brush his teeth.

As he tilts his head to spit out the toothpaste he catches sight of why Amy made her request. Blooming on his slender pale neck is round violet mark where Amy’s mouth had been during seven minutes in heaven.

“The girl is a vampire!” He exclaims looking at the mark from all angles. Amy was right a turtleneck would be the only way to cover it up. After his shower he goes through his drawers and locates the one he owns. He hated it having something on his neck made him feel like he was being gently strangled all day long.

When he is finally dressed he walks outside just as Amy’s mother’s black volvo pulls up. Sheldon walks head down hands in pockets across the lawn and gets into the passenger side of the back seat. The last thing he wants to do this Sunday is be stuck in church all day. Though if his mother catches them with this party he will be going to church every Sunday until he leaves for Caltech in August. Something he still needs to tell Amy about. He sighs heavily just thinking about how complicated his life is getting.

“Good morning Sheldon, so glad you could join us today.” He mother tells him smiling at him in the rear view mirror.

“Good morning Mrs. Fowler. “He says politely smiling at her tightly. He knows he should say something like he was glad he could come. But he still has not mastered adjusting the truth like Amy.

“Why is your yard such a mess Sheldon?” Mrs. Fowler asks pulling away from the curb. Sheldon looks at the assorted cans and cups littering his front lawn and puffs out his cheeks. Wishing he could master tbe art of lying like Amy and hus siblings had.

“Did the neighbors dog tear open your trash again?” Amy asks turning around in her seat and raising her eyebrows to indicate to him she was lying.

“Yes! That little rascal is a menace, I’ll tell you what! If my father were still here he’d shoot it off the property.” He says and Amy gives him the thumbs up for carrying on the lie.

“No need to shoot the poor thing! Just put your trash up in bins.” Mrs. Fowler says scandalized. “ Now Sheldon I know you are used to a baptist church. I think you will find our church just as welcoming.” She tells him.

“I am sure I will like it just the same.” He assures her, meaning not at all. Then surprised at himself for how quickly he was getting the hang of this adjusting the truth thing. They drive past his mother’s East Baptist Tabernacle. A church that started as a small one room church with ten pews. Then bloomed into a steel framed monster as membership grew. They eventually turn into the parking lot of St.Andrews Lutheran church.

“Now we are here early because I have to set up the music and practice. Amy you show Sheldon around and make him feel at home.” She says as they walk through the large double doors of the church.

“Come on.” Amy tells him taking him by the hand and dragging him down the hallway and into a dark classroom. “The don’t have enough membership to use all the classrooms for Sunday school. This one will stay empty, we can hide in here until service is over. That’s what I do every Sunday.” She tells him sitting down in a chair.

“Won’t your mother notice that you’re not in church?” He asks sitting beside her.

“She plays the organ, she is so busy with her music that she doesn’t even pay attention to where I am. As long as I show up to shake hands at the end.”

“See my mother sits beside you the entire time and glares at you if you so much as wiggle.”

“My mom is always alternating between smothering me so much I can’t breath and pretending I don’t exist.” Amy says her voice trembling.

“Sometimes I think my mother wishes I could just be like everyone else. That her life would be easier without me. When I go to Caltech in the fall perhaps…”

“You are leaving for college this year? Why didn’t you tell me?” Amy asks, she thought they would have next year together too. If her application to Harvard wasn’t accepted.

“I am telling you now. I meant to tell you last night but you fell asleep. Are you upset with me?”

“No..no… This is great, it’s just what you wanted. I am happy for you. It’s just that I wonder how long you have known.”

“A couple of weeks , I have had my credits for a while. Caltech has been headhunting me since I was eleven. With my father gone I finally have a chance to go. I did not tell you at first because, I thought of not going.”

“Not going? Why would you even think of not going! It is your dream!” Amy asks.

“ I thought maybe if I waited another year you could apply and them come with me. Then I thought about it and I realized that I could still go next year. You could apply for admission and maybe by summer session we would both be going there.”

“Sheldon, I don’t want to go to Caltech. I am sorry but that is your dream.”

“Amy you are from California! They have one of the best science programs in the country, why wouldn’t you want to go there?” He asks confused.

“I’ve had my heart set on Harvard since I was a little girl. It was where my father graduated from. I never felt like I belonged in California. In fact I’ve already sent in my application. Looks like we will both be graduating this spring.” She tells him.

“So is this the end of.. Us?” He asks and Amy starts, why would he ask that?

“Do you want this to be the end?” She asks sadly.

“Of course not!” He says shaking his head. “But what do we do? Come fall we will be on other sides of the country.”

“That’s not until August at least. If I get into Harvard at all.” He gives her the oh please look. They both know she is a shoo in for the prestigious school. “There is a lot of time between now and then to be together. Then who knows? We might be able to make it work. I know I won’t be off looking for other eligible bachelors. I am going to college to learn how to to get my groove on.” She tells him smiling.

“I know I won’t be with another girl. I don’t see other girls. I only see you.” He admits and she scoots her hair over in front of him so that her knees are resting between his long legs. Balancing herself on his thighs she lifts her head up and kisses him. Sheldon returns the kiss and gives her a sly smirk. “You can kiss my mouth all you want. But you stay away from my neck you little vampire.” He tells her lifting down his turtleneck to show her his hickey.”

“Same goes for you buddy.” Amy says tossing her hair back and showing him the mark he left. “I had to tell my mother I got burnt by a curling iron.”

“That is an excellent cover up! I don’t think that will work for me however. This hair would never hold a curl.” He says tugging on his short forelock of hair and looking up at it cross eyed.

“No, and not the right shape either.” Amy says pulling down his collar to look at it again. The feeling of her cool fingers exploring the skin of his neck sends shivers down his spine. He pulls her face up and kisses her mouth again. They kiss until the church organ starts playing a tube which Sheldon knows normally signals the end of worship is coming near. Amy pulls away and jumps up.

“Come on! If we leave now we can make it.”

“Make it for what?” He questions as he follows her out of the room. Amy pushes open the door to the sanctuary quietly and the duck in and sit in the empty back row as everyone else s standing up singing the final hymn. “You have done this before haven’t you?” He whispers and she nods.

“Every Sunday since we moved here.Today was more fun than normal though.” She winks at him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sheldon arrives home that afternoon to find his frazzled mother on the phone. Which she slams down as soon as she sees him.

“Where in the sam hill where you boy!” She exclaims hugging him tightly. “Missy! He is back!” She yells and Missy rushes out from her bedroom tear stained. Missy joins in on the hug and Sheldon breaks away uncomfortably.

“I was at church with Amy. Why is everyone freaking out?”

“ Because you did not wake me up making a fuss about the mess we made! Because you weren’t in your bed! Because it is almost two in the afternoon and we ain’t heard a damn word from you.” Missy says angrily

“YOU were at church.” Mary says skeptically. “What were you doing at church so late?”

“Amy and her mother invited me and I did not think you would mind me going to church. You can call her mother and ask if you don’t believe me. As far as the late hour there was a potluck lunch after church to welcome the new pastor.”

“I believe that’s where you were. I just don’t believe you would be there willingly.” Mary says eyeballing him.

“It was one of the best times in church I have ever had.” He says truthfully.

“Well honey I am glad. But you gave me a death of a fright. I come home to a trashed house, because you brother and sister had a party while you were sleeping. Then you are missing from your bed and no one knows where to find you.” Mary tells him.

“Missy and George had a party! When I strictly forbade them! For shame!” Sheldon says dramatically shaking his finger at Missy and she smiles at him tightly.

“Now that you are found, I’m gonna go back to my bedroom and continue my punishment.” Missy says as she walks back down the hall. Mary watches her as she goes in her room and shuts the door.

“Well all that church made me tired. So I am going to go to my room now.” Sheldon says making an exaggerated yawn.

“Sit down Mr.” Mary says pointing to the kitchen table. Sheldon looks at her scared and then slides into a chair. “There are a few things that are making me mighty curious Shelly. Mighty curious indeed.”

“You know what they say about curiosity… and what it did to the cat…” Sheldon says nervously

“How could the boy who can hear a fly fart not wake up during a party? I can’t even turn up the TV to watch the 700 channel without you hollering.” Mary asks sitting down next to him.

“They must of been partying very quietly.”

“From the looks of this house, this party was not very quiet at all.” Sheldon gulps and shrugs his shoulders. His eye is twitching and he can feel himself about to fold. Only if he folds it won’t just be himself who gets into trouble. “I thought you hated this shirt Shelly.” Mary asks pulling at the collar of his shirt revealing his neck. Mary gives him a knowing look.

“That’s umm…” He stammers.

“A vacuum attacked you?” Mary laughs then she pats his hand. “Shelly, I think I have enough information to piece together what happened here. Your sister unwillingness to tattle on you tells me that this thing was her idea.”

“Missy she…”

“Don’t say a word. You aren’t in trouble. Missy is getting punished and George Jr. has been grounded since 1993. Not that he cares about it.” Mary sighs.

“I’m not in trouble.” He asks relieved.

“Don’t get cocky boy! I am keeping an eye on you! One toe out of line and you will be grounded so fast your head will spin.” Mary says getting up and pointing her finger at him. “Now run along before I change my mind!” She says and Sheldon gets up and sprints out of the kitchen. Mary is torn between anger at him for telling his first lie. For letting his girlfriend mark him up like he was a cheap whore. Or just being plain happy that her quirky son was finally living a little. Putting down the books and acting like a real boy.

“He had to grow up sometime.” Mary sighs.

anonymous asked:

I just found the coolest thing hidden in an episode. Season 4 episode 2 Dunder mifflin infinity. When Jan and Michael are eating lunch mike has a glass jar that appears to have milk in it with a logo of his face and it says "great Scott" above it

😀 I think it’s Michael’s homemade salad dressing! He explains it in a deleted scene.

“I make my own salad dressing. I mix Newman’s Ranch with Newman’s Italian. Sell it at flea markets for a slight loss. I could make a profit if I changed one of the ingredients to Wish-Bone but I won’t do it.”

Boyfriend and I made up a recipe for kale, and garlic potato cakes (saw a picture somewhere a bit ago of some but couldn’t find then again) with some vegan franks buffalo ranch dip and fuck they are good.  And look at the schemer of sauce, fancy as fuck.

For the cakes you need:

  • 3 large potatos
  • 2 flax ‘eggs’
  • 1-2 cups cooked Kale 
  • Garlic (To taste, I use A LOT) 
  • 2T Vegan butter 
  • Unsweetened almond milk 
  • Salt  (to taste
  • Pepper (to taste)
  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil

-Boil potatoes until soft -in a large bowl beat together potatoes, v/ butter, almond milk, garlic, flax eggs 

-Mix in kale and seasonings

-Heat oil in pan on medium/medium high (just enough to coat the bottom)

-Form potato mixture into cakes and place in oil, wait till bottom is browned then flip until other side is browned and crisp as well.


For the sauce:

  • ½ cups vegan sour cream (I use Tofutti brand)
  • 1-2 T Veganaise
  • Dry ranch mix (add to taste)
  • Franks buffalo sauce (add to taste

-Mix that shit together and let sit for a bit

3

ranch dressing has been the most popular dressing in the US since 1992. not with these folks, i’m guessing.

Making these MONSTER marinated pretzels for a NYE party tomorrow.

What you’re seeing is 2.5 bags of mini pretzels soaking in a whole bottle of oil, with herbs and spice added.  They look greasy and gross, but trust me - after a long enough time they will absorb the oil, somehow without becoming soggy, and be totally dry but EXTRA crispy and extra flavorful.  IT’S MAGIC.

You need 40 oz of pretzels (however many bags that is, I had 15 oz bags - that’s a pretty standard size), 1 bottle of Orville Redenbacher’s flavoring oil, 1 package ranch dressing mix, 2 tsp garlic powder (not salt, powder) and 1 tsp dill weed.  Mix up the oil and spices.  Put the pretzels in a big 2.5 gallon Ziploc bag and add the oil.  Mix it up by turning the bag around.  Lay out the bag and keep turning it like every half hour.  It’ll take time, probably overnight, but the pretzels will end up glorious.