ranch dressing

Ugh. I think Sam’s starting to get fidgety since I’m gone at work again after a year and change at home. He got into the small box of trash while I was at work. And then he got into the main trash while I rode. I am pretty sure he had 2-4 banana peels in the process, and some ranch dressing. Going to follow him out until I see stuff come back out the other end.

Going to get a new trash can that he cant get into I guess. I freaked out when I came home and he was not at the door waiting for me. He was in the other room because he heard me open/close the garage door outside and was hiding since he knew he did bad, 2x.

Just watched the security footage, he literally got into the trash the moment I left for my ride. Little turd!

Denny’s on Demand is finally here. Do you know what that MEANS? It means with a few taps of the thumb whatever you desire from thee ol Denny’s Diner, is yours. And you can eat it wherever you may be liiiiiiike:

-on a dude ranch in Texas
-on a ranch dressing ranch in Texas
-at your local insane carnival
-at the dog park where all the dogs love you
-rollercoasters for extreme eaters
-during a pole vault
-mt. rushmore, any head
-on top of a geyser
-at a competing diner
-the abyss
-most anyplace else you can think
-….well most anyplace on earth

it’s the distant future, humanity has spread across several galaxies, but they keep coming up with weird nicknames for every planet and solar system, much to the confusion of every other species on the fleet

“oh yeah we just have to make a quick stop at ranch dressing before we get to the megatron system”

“… what??”

“sorry i mean quarpsulon and the zimp system”

“why did you call them ran-”

“well quarpsulon is covered in trees that are the exact colour of ranch dressing and if you look at the zimp system from a distance the asteroid field is totally in the shape of the decepticon logo”

“okay i get the megatron thing but what is ranch dressing”

“i don’t know whether to be more alarmed by the implication that there’s no ranch dressing in space or by the implication that there is a megatron somewhere”