ramblingsandreposts  asked:

What did they do now?


See this perfect sugar glazed cruller?

She’s lived longer and had more screen time almost than any other female character on the show. Because they keep killing off every character who isn’t white and male until (Sheriff Mills aside) SHE WAS THE LAST ONE LEFT. 

Note the past tense. 

Because they killed her, once again just to give the Winchesters more angst. 

And I’m done. 

I’m just done. 

It wasn’t even a death that was the culmination of a character arc or the final moment of character progression. She didn’t go on a journey of self discovery until she realised what she had to do. She sacrificed herself for them because they’re the heroes and because the plot needed something for them to get mad about. 

Even if Felicia chose to leave the show (I have no idea if that’s why this happened or not but I know she’s a busy person), there were other ways to write the character out, and even if they really wanted to kill her instead of writing her out a different way, there are better ways to write a death. A death can be the natural conclusion of a character’s own story. (See Buffy episode The Gift or Angel episode Parting Gifts), rather than something that exists for the other characters. This wasn’t that. This existed entirely for other characters. This was not the natural conclusion of some great Charlie arc. She spent the first half of the episode catfighting with a female villain and the last half deciding the men were more important than her and I’m just pissed. 

At this point the writers have shown enough awareness of their fanbase and their following that they know the criticisms that have faced for TEN YEARS of TV. They know better and they pulled this shit anyway. After all their “We can’t actually make Dean and Cas gay because we’ll lose viewers” they don’t mind the viewers they lose by killing off their dozenth female lead. And I was only sticking with this show for handful of cast members who I liked, and white men crying on each other’s shoulder while also shouting “No Homo” is not going to keep my interest now that they’ve killed the last character that was worth any salt (since, much as I love Misha Collins, Cas’s writing has always been inconsistent). 

I said when they killed Kevin Tran that I was barely hanging on by a thread. I almost rage quit then. I mostly kept watching, honestly, out of a hope they’d bring Kevin back. And I said then if they killed Charlie I was done. 

And they killed Charlie. 

And they did it badly. 

And I’m done.

ramblingsandreposts replied to your post: Panda Express closes in 30 minutes I a…

Why are you unemployable?

(okay I probably need to delete the post you are replying to because looking back on it, it is embarrassing, but I’ll try to answer your question anyway. I may not leave this up because it’s personal but you asked and other people might wonder so)

Okay so I said, “practically unemployable” because in theory there could be magical unicorn jobs out there I could do, just not ones that are easy to find or get or create or whatever. 

So I meant it two ways. 

The first way is just hire-ability from looking at my resume. I was let go, amicably but still, from my last two jobs. If you called them they’d say I had great skills and a good attitude and I learned quickly… and that I’d get foggy and headachy and miss work and my attendance suffered. No one wants to hire someone with poor attendance. 

I was laid off from the job before that because they couldn’t afford to keep me. I had built up enough of a reputation with them that they say they would have, but the health stuff had started towards the end of that job and it was some absences that helped them test the waters on not having anyone in my position at all as a way to save money. 

So I can either build a resume where I’ve been let go from two jobs very quickly in the past year or I can conveniently leave my last two jobs off and build one where this past year I have been doing…nothing. 

Neither thing is great. Both make me likely to be passed over before a single phone call. 

The second way, as you might have guessed, is health. 

The job before this last one is where it really became apparent that this health stuff wasn’t going away. My whole life I’ve had constant fatigue and exhaustion issues (I think the first time I had blood drawn to check my thyroid I was like 12. It’s happened regularly ever since, where every doctor’s appointment includes “and I’m tired. Like, all of the time” and they go “thyroid?” and nope. Not thyroid.)

I made that work. It sucked. While I was fully employed I had a complicated series of go-to-bed alarms to make sure I was showered and in bed usually by 9pm, when I wake up at 7am. I needed all of that (and I usually fall asleep pretty fast unless I’m super stressed) and often it still wasn’t enough, but I was able to keep my job. And it was hard to do much besides work when I had a job, even when it was the kind of job that most people would consider great for work/life balance, but it worked okay. I paid my bills and I could use weekends and holidays to get a little more sleep and focus on personal projects.

But a year ago I started getting migraines, and that’s when everything went from “almost actually manageable if you squint and use lots of timers and time management skills” to total hell. 

Ever since, I’ve been even more tired. If I try to push through, I get a migraine. If I take migraine medication, it compounds how drowsy I already feel and I all but collapse. Taking a nap usually clears up the headache but I can’t just leave or stay home from jobs all the time to try to sleep off headaches. And sometimes, almost as part of the aura to the migraine, I will get a kind wave of sleepiness before a migraine hits. I was literally falling asleep at my desk after taking my meds the last day of my last job. I went to lunch early to try to wake up, called to try to get more information on sleep studies I’ve been trying to get, and found out it might be a 9 month wait. At which point I had a panic attack thinking about trying to maintain this for 9 months, returned to work with a cry-face, was gently told I could go home if I was having a rough day, and then was called a hour later to be fired. 

The job before last had accommodations that would have actually been workable but I was illegally denied them and then I decided not to sue when, after talking to a lawyer who told me I would definitely win I found out that in the process 1. they could petition my therapist for any notes he had on me, which I just wasn’t comfortable with and 2. the supervisor whose written word in a saved IM was the most damning evidence against the company might face consequences for getting them sued after the suit. And he was nice and had kids and it wasn’t his fault he was honest with me about their bad behavior, but he wouldn’t be protected by whistleblower laws because he didn’t know he was even whistleblowing. He would just be called careless.

So now I’m just in this position where every job I look at 

1. Probably wouldn’t hire me in the first place because look at my disaster of a track record

2. I probably couldn’t actually do what they need an employee to do. Like, I could sometimes, but I also would inevitably have all kinds of problems either during work or from missing work. What happened with my last two jobs is likely to repeat over and over again. Very few employers are looking for an employee who they don’t know when they will be able to make it or not. 

I did a take-home sleep study and they didn’t find any apneas. They said it was negative, so if there is any kind of apnea it’s very mild. They were able to bump up my in-lab study, but they’re only doing a polysomnogram, not a multiple sleep latency test. The former is best used to testing for apneas. You need the latter (or the latter in conjunction with the former) to test for narcolepsy or idiopathic hypersomnia or other sleep disorders. OR this could be any number of sleep disorders that are hard to test for involving things like non-24 hour sleep cycles or anything else. Or it could be the result of something entirely unrelated to a sleep disorder that we haven’t found yet. Plus the migraines, which are probably normal migraines? (MRI came back clean) it just creates a mess that I feel like I should be able to handle and yet keeping a simple fucking job seems so unreasonably hard.

It’ll still be a couple weeks before I can take the PSG, and couple weeks from that to get the results, which if they are anything like the take home test will just be inconclusive aside from proving that I do, indeed, sleep an unusually long time at night. At which point I’d have to answer a whole load of questions to prove to them that despite my history of depression this symptom has long existed independent of my mental health or mood.

It’s this whole frustrating thing.

And the best case scenario would be some magical job with great pay and low incredibly flexible hours but that’s not how the real world works? Like those jobs are incredibly competitive because everyone wants them and they are very hard to find to apply to in the first place. 

Well, the best best case scenario would be a clear diagnosis for something with a treatment or cure that works so this doesn’t happen any more. 

So I’m just struggling to balance my health with work. To figure out if I can keep any kind of job with the health I have and if there’s any treatments that’ll make it easier, all while having yet another rent bill to pay every month, and electric, and internet, and gas money, and medical bills, and therapy bills. And I don’t currently have food stamps (working on it) so groceries are all out of pocket. 

I’m trying to remember my priorities in life and work out a plan. But that’s why I made such a frustrated and embarrassing post about wanting Chinese food. I know it sounds silly, but often when there are all these really big stresses, it’s not the big things (oh god credit card bill) (what if this is a permanent neurological disorder) (how do I tell my mom I lost my job again) that get you as much as the little ones (I am hungry and know exactly what I want to eat and I can’t even go out and get it because I don’t have the comparatively small amount of money it would cost).

Anyway. I’m not sure if I’ll leave this up because it’s weird and long and personal. But I hope it answers your question okay.  

ramblingsandreposts replied to your postI’m halfway through A Clash of Kings and if…

Liveblog? :D

So far a lot of it has been similar to the show. Not everything, obviously. Bran’s storyline is surprising me the most in terms of stuff that’s new to me.

I’m sure I’ll be making freak-out posts as I get deeper into the series, but I also don’t want to spoil stuff… granted, I am the last person on Earth to start reading these, but just in case.

ramblingsandreposts  asked:

Are the headbones explained in the show?

omg I know this is a serious question, so I apologize for laughing

The people with headbones are aliens. Their species is called Minbari. It’s just part of their genetics. They’re an extremely hardy race though. 

Maybe some of my followers could explain this better…

I just sort of accept it as a thing their species has.
A very cool thing that their species has… 


pinogiggles hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet: pinogiggles hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet:…

OH. that wasn’t clear. well then. You have some interesting roommates. That’s really not okay as you could get in trouble for the alcohol.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had douchebag roommates and I am sososo sick of this shit. I threw out mead when I moved in so that nobody would get in trouble. And here they are. Smoking pot in the dorm and putting beer in the fridge. 

ramblingsandreposts hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet: THERE IS BEER IN THE GODDAMN COMMUNAL KITCHEN…

That is messed up. :/ Maybe telling an RA is the best course of action in this situation.

I have no idea what the policy is on something like that. If Clark were still here, I’d ask him hypothetically about it, and he’d *know* it wasn’t hypothetical, but he’d answer it as though it were and then I could decide whether or not to move forward. But I don’t really know any of the RAs, and I don’t really want to tattle on them. Because I don’t care if they DRINK. I just care that they’re doing it HERE.

ramblingsandreposts hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet: They started smoking pot while I was out of the…

Dear god, even my freshman year roommates had the decency to smoke outside the room. I’m sorry you got the selfish, inconsiderate sort of roommate set this year. :(


ivanovathestrong hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet: THERE IS BEER IN THE GODDAMN COMMUNAL KITCHEN…

Is it an underage thing so an RA would bust all of you? That sounds like a roommate conversation.

They’re not underage, but it’s against the rules to have alcohol in the dorms. So yes, the RA would write up everyone. Including me and the non-involved transfer student from Norway.

ramblingsandreposts replied to your postramblingsandreposts replied to…

I could see combat boots working quite nicely with that dress, actually. ;) Hahah, I hadn’t even pictured that! Thanks for the image. ^^

Idk. Maybe I’ll try it some time for kicks and giggles. Probably not on a day that I have work though…the library staff is so CONSERVATIVE. (Amy actually had to talk to me about my shirt one time. It was ridiculous and I felt bad for Amy cause she thought it was absurd that she had to talk to me about it. /eyeroll)

ramblingsandreposts replied to your post: My general reaction to BMI charts trying to…

BMI is such an oversimplified and frankly worthless system of measurement. It should be abandoned. I’m glad you posted this positive self-image tumbl. :)


And like 25-29 or whatever is considered overweight.



I won’t.

Because I eat relatively healthy. And get plenty of sunshine. And I walk around campus every day.

And when I go to the health center they always act like my weight is just fine, tyvm.

Why is it a thing that exists? WHY