rajis

All members raji 3/24

Anger mail

Ruki (reading mail): “This mail is about the strange behaviour I see sometimes from people sitting next to me on the night bus during tours. Once the person beside me took out a jar of kimchi, and just put his chopsticks right in and ate it as a meal, he even drank all the juice, and to top it off he put the jar on the floor and it was rolling around all night”

Kai: R U SERIOUS!!?!

Ruki: “I couldn’t sleep because of the smell and the sound. I think you guys uses buses on your tours, but has anything shocking like that happened to you before?”

(everyone laughing)

Uruha: Would you be allowed to open a window on a bus? If it smelled?

Kai: (laughing) But idk that’s kinda…

Uruha: But imagine if it was a bullet train, like if it smelled like alcohol or something omg

Everyone: HUHUHUHUHU

Kai: Ah yes, I guess we should talk about who ended up being behind that pudding incident from a long time ago?

Ruki: Why do we have to?

Uruha: Why are you forcing it?

Everyone: uuhuhu

Kai (laughing): Who did the pudding incident!?

Aoi: Was it someone you know?

(everyone chucklin)

Ruki: PUJJING INCHIDENT

(everyone dying)

Ruki: WHO DID IT

Reita: But we haven’t used a bus in a while.

Kai: Right.

Aoi: Yeah definitely….

Uruha: Huh? Didn’t we use one in Sapporo?

Reita and Aoi and Kai: AWWWW


Kai: That was just you!

Reita: It was an Uruha-kun-only bus.

Uruha: No no no

Reita and Aoi and Kai: mmfufufuuhuhu

Reita: It was an Uruha-kun-only bus~

Ruki: But when we did take buses, everyone would just start playing games right away and not talk.

Reita: Oh, like back in the day?

Ruki: Yeh

Reita: Yeh

Ruki: But there was a kinda fragrant smell…

(Everyone bursts out laughing)

Reita: Smell of what!?

Ruki: HUHU……HUHU……….

Reita: Everyone was quiet…just playin games on their screens…..

Ruki: I would put in earphones and not be listening to anything

Kai: What!?

Uruha: That’s dark!

Reita: That’s scary! …I bet your phone wasn’t even on.

Ruki: And the glass in Sapporo was super foggy. [I guess the bus windows??????]

Uruha: Let’s have Ruki join us sometime and play Monster Hunter!

Reita: You already made Ruki play Monster Hunter with you a long time ago!

Uruha: Ahh…

Reita: Yeah, and he killed a Velocidrome, and you were watching from the side like “Wow! Amazing! You killed it!”

(everyone dying laughing)

Reita: You were just talking shit, like you were entertaining a guest or something…

(everyone still dying)

Kai: Wait, are we gonna finish the conversation from before?

Reita: Nah it’s already over

All members raji 3/24

Uruha (reading mail): “This isn’t related to the theme and it’s also kind of a boring question, but what’s a cool way to answer when your girlfriend asks you, ‘what’s more important, your job or me!?’” …….so guys what’s the answer?

Kai: Huhuhu! What’s a cool way to answer?

Uruha: But like is this something that ppl actually ask? 

Kai: “What’s more important, your job or me?” Well like I hear it in dramas but idk…that doesn’t mean anything (laughs) 

Uruha: But I mean if you said “my job” that would be bad, right? That would set them off?

Kai: No no no I don’t think so, at all! Rather if you said “you!” wouldn’t it seem…too much like a lie? (laughs) Well I mean I don’t know

Aoi: Hmmm- [Uruha: I wonder what the right answer is] -mmmmm……..you know….at that point….you should probably just break up with them no? 

Kai: (laughing) Like as soon as she asks you that? 

Uruha: This question is taboo, you know? As soon as this happens, it’s over. 

Reita: As soon as you say that, you’re not the most important thing anymore

Aoi and Uruha at same time: AWWWW! [not like aw thats cute but like AW SHIT FAM]

Reita: Cause u just asked that

Aoi: The shit-eating look u have on ur face rn istg

(laughter)

Uruha: So it’s like, you were the most important until you said that, you blew it now

Reita: Yes yes yes

Uruha: So that’s the right answer!

Reita: Well for me yeah

(Aoi and Uruha guffawing)

Uruha: What about you, Ruki-san?

Ruki: U-uhh, I don’t know..???! But like, u gotta work to make a living so…….

Uruha: So like, “it’s my job tf u thought”?

Ruki: Uh, like, if i don’t work…..I’m a NEET?? Like, I’d be unemployed, so….and then I wouldn’t be able to be with you anyway

Reita: What if she’s like “I don’t care if ur unemployed!”

Ruki: ….Oh yeah that’s okay then! 

Reita: You’d quit? 

Ruki: I’m cool with freeloading

Reita and Uruha: HUHUHUHU

Uruha: Ur ok with that

Ruki: But I mean that’s not the case [for the gf in the mail i guess] …she just wants attention

Aoi: But before it got to [the point where she would say that]…wouldn’t you have already ditched her?

Everyone: Ah mhm yes hmm maybe ur right ahh

Aoi: So maybe the guy is the bad one.

Everyone: Ahh I see so that’s your point of view ahh yes ok

Aoi: Thanks guys

(Everyone dies laughing)

Uruha: So Aoi-kun, if a girl asked you how would you answer? 

Aoi: “I’m sorry.”

(Everyone dies laughing again)

Uruha: “I’m sorry”….

Kai: YOU WOULD NOT! YOU WOULD NOT

Ruki: All u could do is cry. WAHH!!! WAHH!!!!!!!!

Reita: Man u just busted my ears

Everyone: HuhuhuHUHU

Uruha: Okay leader what about you?

Kai: Well I definitely wouldn’t say her. 

Uruha: Ahh, so it’s your job?

Kai: Yep. Anyone would say that, no? It’s your job. I mean, she’s a part of that!

Uruha: What?

Kai: Like, the fact that I’m working

Uruha: Ah that you’re making a living, it means you can take care of her

Kai: Yes yes 

Ruki: Yep, yep, yep

Uruha: Wow u really thought that through calml–

Kai: U CAN’T DO SHIT WITHOUT MONEY

Uruha: Op

Kai: Huhuhu sorry sorry 

All members raji 3/24

Kai: let’s start with self introductions

Ruki: uhh i’m the vocal ruki

Uruha: i’m the guitarist uruha

Aoi: I’M YOUR AOI!

Everyone: HUHUHU

Reita: uhhh ok i’m the bassist reita

Kai: i’m the drummer Kai

Aoi: what u guys didn’t keep it going

Kai: So anyway

Aoi: u didn’t

Kai: let’s move on

Aoi: u didn’t keep it going….

All members raji 3/24

Uruha (reading mail): “I liked this boy all through middle school. He was the cutest boy in school, and after graduating middle school I never saw him again. But the other day, I ran into him for the first time in nine years. He wasn’t the same slim, toned, handsome man he used to be. When he said hi to me I was like ‘ew who is this?’ and that bittersweet memory I had was destroyed. Have you guys every been shocked by meeting an old classmate who looked totally different?”

Ruki: Sorry I didn’t really get any of what u just said [idk if he couldn’t hear or wasn’t paying attention]

(I have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about but Uruha said ‘Abe-chan killer’ what…anyway)

Uruha: But you get it right?

Ruki: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, like if you saw your first love from high school at your coming of age ceremony and they looked completely different

Kai: (laughing) What that’s such a short period of time

Uruha: But I mean what do you expect? Of course they’re gonna look different.

Reita: And what if that guy was thinking the same thing [about the girl]?

Everyone: Mhm…

Reita: Like what makes you think you’re fine!?

(laughing)

Uruha: But this could happen to us, too. If we let ourselves go people might think the same thing about us.

Reita: A while ago when I was in my hometown I ran into an old classmate from elementary and middle school.

Uruha: But no one would recognize you – you were so skinny back then!

Reita: Well I recognized him first, and I was like “oh!!” and then he made a face like “oh!!” too, so I was like, “do you know who I am?” and he’s like “yeah!” and then he knew my name so…..yeah he recognized me

Kai: AHH I SEE WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY! YOU’RE SAYING YOU HAVEN’T CHANGED!?!? (y r u yellING)

Reita: Mhm.

Uruha: That’s not really what we were expecting

Reita: But the other guy had aged quite a bit!

Uruha: Right?

Ruki: Right?

Aoi: Right?

Uruha: Like, with what you’re wearing now – I guess I should explain what he looks like today, huh?

Reita: What?

Uruha: He looks like, you know, a hip-hopper.

Reita (immediately): That’s cause I’m a fourth generation J-Soul Brother.

(J-Soul Brother music immediately starts playing)

Uruha: Maaan look at that chaaaaain!!

(while Uruha is making fun of him and the song is still playing u can hear Ruki calmly say “the third generation isn’t over”)

All members raji 3/24

Anniversary Mail

Aoi: “There was a guy I had one-sided feelings for, but during that whole time a guy was desperately trying to win me over, and slowly I grew to like him and we started dating – “wait what are they talking about

Kai: They dated!

Aoi: Oh I get it! Yes yes yes! So she was dating someone, but then – Yes yes! (he doesn’t get it bless him)

Kai: She liked someone, but then a different guy was trying to get her and she ended up with HIM.

Aoi: Got it got it got it got it got it got it. “But on our one year anniversary, I learned something shocking. He came over to my house [for the first time], and he said he had to use the bathroom. I started to show him the way, but he went straight there himself without getting lost. My house isn’t that big, so at first I didn’t think anything of it”

Reita: Oh like, cause he knew where it was?

Aoi: Yes yes.

Reita: Oh oh.

Aoi: “The light switch is in a place you wouldn’t think, so I started to tell him where it was, (movie trailer voice) but he had already tuuurned the lights oooon.”

Reita: W-what? is this a scary story?

Aoi: No it’s an anniversary story.

Kai: Just listen! Listen!

Aoi (softly): Yes, let’s all listen. “I was like, you knew where it was that’s weird, and he was just like…………oh………..yeah ……haha……….(movie trailer voice) and avoided iiiiiiiit. A bit after we’d finished eating, he gave me a ring. I was genuinely happy and thanked him, and then he said, there’s something I need to tell you. I thought, could it be? [a proposal], but it wasn’t what I was expecting. He told me that since I had rejected him so many times, he had been stalking me. I was confused and couldn’t process it, and then he told me that he’d secretly made a copy of my house key and had been entering my house. I was freaked out but I wanted to hear the rest of it. He said that he would watch me sleep from the closet–”

Reita and Kai: (laughing) WHAT!! THATS SCARY AHH!

Aoi: “And sometimes he would eavesdrop on me. He would also take my used underwear and….” well he took her underwear. And what else, uh, “He would put pictures of me up in his house, and…while I was sleeping he would cut off pieces of my hair and keep them in his wallet.”

Reita: What is this Rapunzel!?

Kai: (laughing) That’s scary!

Aoi: “When he showed me the hair I was a little creeped out.”

Kai: Uhh A LITTLE!?

Aoi: But after all that apparently they dated for five years. 

Kai: WITH THAT GUY!?

Aoi: Ye

Kai: WHAA-HA-HAAT? REALLY!? (laughing)

Aoi: “Everyone, please watch out for stalkers!” This was such a long story!

Ruki: This is a fascinating story. 

Uruha: But why would that make you want to go out with someone? 

Reita: Well maybe that made her like him? Like maybe, I don’t know, she was moved that he cared that much – man idk

Ruki: That’s an honest boyfriend.

Reita: Yeah like it’s probably better if you don’t say all that (laughs)

Aoi: Yeah for sure…

Reita: Like that you were watching her from the closet…that’s so scary

Aoi: But like, he would have to leave the closet open a bit, right? …So wouldn’t it look…

Reita: Like someone’s watching? 

Aoi: Yeah yeah yeah.

Reita: Yeah. And he’d get thirsty.

Uruha: Can you even make a copy of someone’s house key that easily? 

Aoi: Well I mean, we don’t know how much of this story is true.

Kai and Uruha: HAHAHAHA

Kai: YA FOR SURE

Reita: Maybe that boyfriend doesn’t even exist…..

Aoi and Uruha: No no no scary scary scARY

(pause)

(Everyone bursts out laughing)

All members raji 3/24

Kai: so I will be the head, and Reita will be the ass.

Reita: u know when we explained this to them earlier they were salty af

Aoi: Yeah we get it! what u mean is, “the two of us keep the radio going.”

Kai: NO NO NO

Aoi: “you guys in between are just extras” 

Kai: OOOHHH HE WENT THERE HE WENT THERE

Aoi: Are you guys listening to this? This is dark. 

Reita: No listen, like if this is a sandwich we’re the bread! You guys are the toppings!!

Everyone: WAHAHAHAHA

Reita: See!? We’re just bread! Just plain bread…

Ruki: Everyone’s talking too much

Everyone: WAHAHAHAHA