58. [ENT] Rajiin – SHORT REVIEW EDITION
SCORE: (2/5 stars)
The Evil Council of Evil is growing impatient with the slow progress made on the Xindi Superweapon, and the insects and reptiles want to push through with an alternate plan. Dun dun DUUUUUUUN. On Enterprise, Trip expresses concern that the crew thinks T'Pol’s neuropressure techniques are actually a ploy to get better ratings by sexualizing the show, while Archer has trouble sleeping because of how bad last week’s episode was. They go to a floating market on a waterworld to get a recipe for synthesizing trellium-D when a sex slave who looks awfully human begs Archer to help her escape.
Trip and T'Pol get to work attempting to synthesize the trellium, which is highly volatile, while Enterprise sets a course for the sex slave Rajiin’s homeworld. She turns out to be more than she seems when she starts acting sexy at all the crew, using her magic hands to make their spines visible, and asking all sorts of questions she shouldn’t be asking. Things go south when she basically touch-rapes T'Pol and smashes a pot over Trip’s head. A sexy shootout ensues and lands her in the sexy brig, where Archer tries to grill her for sexy information. Turns out she’s working for the Xindi-Reptillians who want information on humans so they can start on their alternate plan: a bioweapon.
Well, she managed to get a transmission out to the Xindi who show up and start firing lasers at Enterprise. Then they board the ship to fire smaller lasers at people and also show off their more advanced weapons, like a big energy blob, or a sticky slime that explodes into spikes. Four unfortunate redshirts succumb to the weapons, the Xindi retrieve their sexy slave and vanish into a vortex. They capture a single Reptillian, who uses a surgically-implanted gland to commit suicide, but at the least they have a Reptillian body to study, as well as his weapon. Because remember, this whole season’s like some big Scooby Doo mystery and they have to hunt down clues!