Ok followers who don’t have an interest in Star Wars: I know you have been sticking it out for me for a long time…but you also know that I am a certified Star Wars Hoe™. And I truly mean this when I say that Star Wars: Episode VIII-The Last Jedi (2017) is my reason to inhale and exhale every damn day. It’s going to be a wild ride tomorrow, so I’m going to need y'all to buckle up! Because when that trailer drops it’s going to kill me instantly while raising me from the dead at the same time.
Summary: “No matter the endeavour you were on, no matter the storms you
encountered on rocky seas, or the possible threat of encountering blood-thirsty
pirates, no one intrigued you or intimidated you more than the thought of him,
of Park Jimin, the most notorious of pirates, the most brutal of men,
the devil incarnate.”
Drink plenty of water and stretch your muscles before your necromantic rites. Not only is it good for you, but it sets a good example for the newly resurrected – limber, hydrated, full of pep and vigor.
We are an evil group (that are all effective level 12) centered around a baby white dragon (player character) and most of us are dragon blooded of some kind or another.
We encountered an adult black dragon who was rambling on about how we were trespassing but that he needed help getting rid of a problem in his warren and so forth.
During the middle of this monologue our kobold necromancer stands up without warning and says, “I cast shivering touch on the black dragon”
DM: “… What?!?”
Necromancer: “I cast shivering touch on the dragon”
DM: “ok… Make a caster level check.”
Necromancer: rolls a nat 20
DM *in astonishent* “wow… Well he falls into the swamp below him as he freezes”
Necromancer: *turns to my half white dragon kobold and hand him a rope* “tie this to my leg”
My character does so and the necromancer then proceeds to swan dive off the bridge till he’s hanging just above the water upside down and casts raise legion on anything dead in the swamp within range and commands all of the undead to start killing each other.
He has a special ability where any undead he raises explodes with negative energy damage when they die.
Our DM was so shocked we had to take a half hour break so he could collect himself cuz we just destroyed his quest.
TLDR: our tiny squishy insane kobold necromancer pretty much one shoted an adult black dragon with shivering touch and exploding undead.
And that’s not even the craziest thing this group has done.
- the Stolls aren’t twins
- Thalia has freckles
- Nico almost told Atlas to shove his army up his ass
- Thalia is afraid of heights
- Sally turned Gabe into a statue and sold him
- Percy always got jealous when Annabeth thought/talked about Luke
-Hedge wrote a letter to Grover
- Grover wore a wedding dress
- Rachel threw a blue plastic hair brush at Kronos
- Nico raised the dead with McDonalds
-Black Jack was originally written as a girl
-Annabeth kissed Percy in the fourth book
- Annabeth was really good at hacky sack
I hate how the show frames Steven as the moral center of the universe but then whenever he fucks up it’s “but he’s just a kid!”
Marco, Star, Dipper, and Mabel, for instance all mess up and has the narriative acknowledge that they mess up. Mabel is impulsive and doesn’t always think things out. Star’s a massive, selfish hypocrite who’s incredibly irresponsible. Marco doesn’t always know what’s best in every situation and often fails to think outside the box. Dipper raised the dead. They all face consequences and get scolded, but they learn and it ultimately helps them become better people.
But Steven? Steven’s always right. He was right to befriend Lapis, Peridot, the cluster, centipeetle, his racist uncle. Lapis sucking it up in order to befriend somebody who she wanted nothing to do with was presented as the right thing to do. The water spire was going to collapse anyway. Jasper, Bismuth, and Eyeball were all shown to be “in the wrong” (#bismuthwasright). He’s always there to provide the morals for Pearl, Amethyst, Ruby, Sapphire, Greg, the Pizza Wars, whatever. He’s potrayed as this perfect child that can do not wrong and it was endearing way back in CheeseBurger Backpack but now that the show is covering serious topics like bigotry and abuse it simply just doesn’t work and ends up being more less Plebcomics For Kids.