To my Treachous Daughter Pirate Dash,
Arg! Most mutineers be walkin’ off the plank for acts such as this! But see'n that ye are my flesh and blood… I’ll just punish ye for yer crimes!
Ye ship will stay docked for a week, yer sails be stripped and hoof washed til they blind me with their whiteness, and every barnacle be gone before I let ye go back to sea! Let this be a lesson to ye about taking a captain’s hat!
With Much Love, Dad