Summary: Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung bullied you in high school and by some sick joke the universe was playing on you, 2 years later Jungkook was attending the same University as you. Even sicker joke was being stuck with him doing a project on ‘Sex in Cinema’ for a whole semester. Go figure.
Warnings: Smut, a lot of dirty talk holy shit (I can’t help it), oral, masturbation, overstimulation.
2 years earlier:
You walked down the road, almost around midnight, trying to get home as fast as possible the chilly rainy weather. Not to mention the truck that was trailing behind you and the screams and shouts of “wait up thunder thighs!” and “stop running away like a little bitch!” coming from the 3 boys who occupied it. Wrapping your arms around yourself to feel just an ounce of warmth, you willed yourself to ignore these bastards and walk faster. ‘I’m almost home, I’m almost home’ repeating it like a mantra in your head. Really, it was a stupid idea to think that you could enjoy a last high school party with your friends who were the complete opposite of you. After all, when the three most popular boys of the school were determined to make your life a living hell, why would anyone else want to treat you different in this extremely cliché scenario. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly was it about you that made them hate you so much.
From the time that you can remember, and you remembered a lot, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook had always despised you. It’s like they couldn’t stand your existence. When you would be at the library helping out by staying late, they would wait after school, yes they would go out of their way to stay at school longer, to make sure that your walk home was as stressful as possible. Making fun of pretty much anything and everything you did was a normal occurrence. You had just learned to live with it, but not today.
You suddenly started to slow your pace. They are cowards, you thought. What can they possibly do? Always taunting, always calling names, always making you feel shit about anything you took interest in. But they were all talk, right? You thought, huffing out. People like them walk in groups because they can’t actually do anything alone. You don’t know what came over you, but you suddenly stopped and turned around slowly. The truck that the boys were trailing behind you also slowed and stopped a few meters away.
The one driving was Jimin, while Taehyung sat beside him and Jungkook stood, head poking out of the truck’s opening in the ceiling. You stood defiantly, shaking from the growing rain, your hair soaked and hands tightly by your side. Silently daring them to charge the truck towards you. ‘They won’t do it, they’re cowards’ you thought, your confidence growing slowly. You couldn’t tell where this adrenaline rush had come from to give you such courage to finally stand your ground, just a few weeks away from graduation. You could see Taehyung’s cunning, and terrifyingly psychotic grin widening as he relentlessly whispered in Jimin’s ear, whose grip on the wheel was tightening as he looked you right in the eyes. Jungkook was laughing. He apparently found the situation so amusing, that you decided now to grow a spine and challenge them. Suddenly, the sound of the engine revving was as loud as the rain.
It all went pretty much downhill from there. The last thing you remembered was your too loud heartbeat, the bright flash from the truck and Jungkook’s face suddenly forming a horrified expression as if he wasn’t just laughing at you.
You weren’t looking for him specifically among the crowd flooding into the lecture hall. But something did happen inside you when you spotted him. A kind of lightness, or a lifting of some heavy part of yourself. Everything was settling into a nice, normal routine. You were going about your daily lives in an ordinary manner, and you were doing it completely separately.
He sat in the fourth row, and you sat at the back. Only now there was no rising sense of dread. You didn’t keep your hand to yourself when the lecturer asked a question. You answered, without the background sound of someone snickering. And even when it felt as though he was looking at you, when you snuck a glance at him you only ever saw the back of his head.
He bent low over his notes, and his head occasionally lifted a little as he really listened to whatever the lecturer was saying. Once or twice you actually caught him nodding, or doing a little staggered-looking half laugh over some ridiculous concept.
As if he loved it all now.
He loved it so much he was sometimes at the lectures early. You would come in with Y/B/F, still giggling over something ridiculous, and get the faint prickle that told you he was already there. Only now when it happened it didn’t make you want to cover yourself up, or run and hide. There was nothing to hide from. Everything was going to be super cool and totally fine from here on in. Or it would have been, if it were not for the group project. The one that you were so excited for that you didn’t process it when your lecturer started reading out the names. You would be working with Y/B/F—that was a given. You were going to watch ridiculously filthy movies together and laugh about bobbing butts and ogle Ewan McGregor’s penis.
And then you heard his name.
Followed by yours.
Distantly, like in a dream of being in class.
“Miss Y/L/N, do you have a problem with that assignment?”
Everyone was looking at you now. No—not just looking. Examining, as though You had become a new and baffling species. The girl who was not excited about the idea of spending a whole semester with Jungkook. The creature who seemed horrified at the prospect of working with him. It made it difficult to do anything at all, even with Y/B/F urging you to say yes, yes I do have a fucking problem. Though you still didn’t expect the shake of your head to happen. Just one little accidental shake of your head and that was it. Your lecturer moved on to his next victim, leaving you in something You once had a nightmare about in ninth grade. Working with Jungkook. On a semester-long project.
About sex in cinema.
“Don’t worry, we can fix this. Just go to his office and talk to him privately about it. He would have to be Satan himself to not understand,” You heard Y/B/F whisper.
But the words seemed even further away than you name had when your lecturer read it out.
“Right. Right. Yeah. You’re right.”
“I can come with you if you want.”
“No, that’s okay. That’s fine.”
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been punched. In the face. With a small nuclear blast.”
“I’m sure,” You said, but soon came to regret that firmness in your voice. The steady nod that told Y/B/F it was okay for you to go in a different direction once you were outside. It only meant that you were on your own when you got to the tiny hallway outside your lecturer’s door.
And saw that Jungkook was already waiting.
Of course he was—he probably had the same concerns as you. No matter how sorry he was or what he thought of being in the red and being wrong, he would never want to work in close quarters with you for the entire semester. In fact, him being sorry likely made the situation seem worse to him. Most likely he had calculated all the awkward conversations you guys would have to have and how far apart he would have to stand to keep you comfortable, and found it as unbearable as you did.
Even though his expression seemed to say something else.
Oh god. His expression was saying something else.
Then he held up his hands, as though to calm you.
And you knew.
“All right, Y/N, I know that you’re probably thinking it’s way better if you do this project with that gal pal of yours, but wait, okay? I got reasons why this is gonna be fine.”
“Is that seriously why you’re here? To stop me asking to switch us?”
“Well…no. Not stop you exactly. Stop is a really strong word.”
“While I’m glad you’ve learned that—” You said, your voice briefly catching when you saw his wince. He winced, your mind hissed, before you forced yourself to finish. “I still think it covers what’s happening here.”
“I just wanted to talk to you about it for a second. Just, like, hear me out.”
“I want to. I really do. But come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday. This has all the hallmarks of some kind of trap or prank or joke at my expense.”
“How could it possibly be a trap or prank? He put people together based on…I don’t even know what he put people together based on. But it couldn’t have had anything to do with me.”
You searched his face, looking for the lie. Waiting for him to show some hint of bullshit, beneath those too-kind eyes and his spread hands and the obvious logic of what he was saying.
Only there was nothing, nothing, nothing.
And it made no difference at all.
“Okay, I buy that. I do. Yet the fact still remains: I cannot do a project with you. Ever. You have to know that doing anything like that is completely impossible for me. Right?”
“I was just thinking that maybe…maybe you could give it a chance. You know, now that we’re on speaking terms and everything is almost cool between us.”
“You think everything is cool between us?”
“Well, maybe not cool exactly. More like…okay.”
“Still need to dial it back a notch, chief.”
“Reasonable? Not bad? Kind of semi decent?”
“That last one is getting close.”
He sighed, shoulders sagging.
Relenting, you thought. He’s actually relenting.
“Fine, we are a fucking disaster.”
“Now you’re getting the idea,” You said.
“But I figure we can work on it.”
“By doing a project on sex in the cinema together?”
“Well,” he said. “When you put it like that it sounds dumb.”
“There’s no other way to put it! That is literally what you’re suggesting.”
“Yeah, I get that. I just…want to not get that. I want it to be easier or better or just not the way this is.”
“That could have been my daily prayer in high school, Jungkook.”
He didn’t react the way you expected to, with more weird arguing.
He just closed his eyes.
He closed them like someone had just told him his family had been in a fatal accident.
“I wish I could go back and start over again. More than wish—I would give everything I have to start over again. The wrestling, this scholarship, every party I ever went to and every fun thing I ever did. And you can choose to not believe me about that, but—”
“I believe you.”
“I’m as surprised as you are, but yeah.”
“Then why does this have to be such a big deal?”
You thought of Y/B/F saying attempted murder.
“Y/N that is fucking attempted murder. Babe, you don’t have to feel bad about anything you put him through now. His friends and him included, ran you over with a fucking truck. How much physio and other therapy sessions did you have to go through because of them, huh?”
The terror that used to flood you when he walked down the hall.
That ever-present sensation of a grille barrelling into your body.
“Because understanding that someone is truly sorry and wanting to spend huge amounts of time with them are two different things. I might see that you mean this, and know rationally that I can almost sort of trust you. Maybe I even want it to be that easy, too. But your face is the one I had nightmares about for two years. Your smile doesn’t seem happy to me. I associate it with cruelty.”
You shook your head. Glanced away from him so you didn’t have to see the defeated look on his face.
“It’s hard for me to look at you, Jungkook, no matter how much I appreciate what you’ve done here.”
“That was a really well-thought-out and logically sound speech.”
“I know it was. I’m pretty proud.”
“And I have no argument against it.”
“You don’t need one. What you’ve done here…” You gritted your teeth hard and looked at the ceiling. But this time it didn’t stop the tears. They were already welling up by the time You explained the rest to him.
“It means a lot. And a million men would never have done the same, I can promise you. I don’t have any messages from Jimin on my phone. Taehyung isn’t going to call anytime soon. It’s just you, a rare fantasy in the middle of all this dismal reality.”
He turned around when you were done. All the way around—and then his arms went up to cover his head and you understood. What you said had affected him, strongly. Maybe more than his words had affected you. It took him twice as long to get it together, and even after he had he couldn’t quite look at you. He just kept staring at the wall and clenching his jaw.
And saying things. Oh yeah, he said things, in a strained, shaky voice.
“I meant what I said, you know. That you are the very best.”
“I know. That’s why I’m going to ask you not to say it again.”
“I can’t stop. I have the opposite of whatever idiocy infected me in high school.”
“What, like insane-need-to-compliment fever?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” he said.
“Well it has taken a raging hold of you, let me tell you.”
“I know it seriously cannot be stopped.”
“I think you have a terminal case.”
“Not a bad way to go, if you ask me,” he said, so soft and sincere it took all your strength to stop yourself smiling in response. You could feel your lips trembling. Your cheeks ached with the effort of pinning them down, yet still You knew you were failing. You could see it in his satisfied expression.
And hear it in his words.
“That’s better. Seeing you look happy.”
“I am happy,” You said, then added without thinking: “Are you?”
Of course you didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a polite habit, based on interactions with people other than Jungkook. People who had actual problems, who lived troubled lives, who might answer with a god no. Jungkook would never need to answer with a god no. His life was full of endless possibilities and unfettered glory. He could snap his fingers and have a thousand people follow him to the ends of the earth.
He even looked that way, in the dim light of the narrow hallway between these offices.His hair was the colour of dark chocolate. Every item of clothing suited him perfectly, from the rich grey-blue of his V-neck to the jeans he’d tucked into his timberlands. He exuded cool from every pore; he could have stepped off the cover of a magazine. Yet all you could see was his face as it slowly sagged. It was like watching someone cut the strings that had held a mask in place—a mask you hadn’t known he was wearing. You thought that smiling golden god who had tormented you was the real him, but for a second you couldn’t be sure. Just for one heart-rattling second, and then the door to the office opened and that glimpse of something else was gone—so fast You would imagine later that it had never existed.
It was just a trick of the light.
Better to focus on the real and the now.
“What can I do for you two today?” Professor asked.
Then you took a breath and answered.
“Nothing,” You said.
A few weeks later:
After that day, you didn’t know how or why you suddenly decided to give working with him a try, but so far, it was going…. okay. You two met up at the library, took your notes, glancing at each other once in a while, mostly Jungkook, asking each other questions relevant to your awkward topic given the situation and that was that. He made jokes sometimes that managed to get out a few carefree laughs out of you as well. It was all… comfortable. Nothing that you had expected. That is why, you decided, it was time to move on to watching actual movies for references, in your project.
It was nearly one in the morning, on a Wednesday night when you went to get him as your friend was out and that was the only time Jungkook was free after wrestling practice. Everyone was in bed, and it gave an eerie feeling to your journey back to your dorm.
As did his silence.
He was always talking—You realized that then. Sometimes he practically kept up a running commentary on everything and anything, yet here he was as quiet as stone. And it wasn’t because he was exerting himself. He didn’t breathe hard once the whole time. He could have been carrying a backpack full of air. But the idea of mental trouble lingered. When you tilted your head a little, you could practically hear his mind going over and over things, in a way that just wasn’t like him. He was easy-going. Happy-go-lucky. He never worried about things the way you did.
“Jungkook, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. You just seem a little…”
Like an ominous statue of yourself.
“I was just thinking what movie we should watch.”
“Oh. Oh. You mean…right now?” You asked.
“Well, that’s what you came to get me for.”
“That’s true, I did come and get you for that.”
“Unless you don’t want me in your room so late.”
“No, no why would I…no, that’s cool.”
“You’re in the Jubilee Building, right?”
You had the strongest urge to ask him how he knew. But that seemed just as weird as objecting to him being in your room.
“Yeah. You just go past the science block and then—”
“Right, right, right I got it, I got it. The statue of Heo Nanseolheon is outside it, yeah?”
“That’s the one. Then it’s the third floor. Don’t worry though, there’s an elevator.”
“Ah, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”
“Do you wanna let me unlock the door?” you asked standing behind him when you both reached your dorm.
“Oh shit, yeah. Yeah, go ahead,” he said moving his bulky body out of the way as you slid past him to unlock the door. Everything had returned to the way it should be now between you and Jungkook.
Except for the sexy movie you were now going to watch.
Alone. Together. On your bed. In the middle of the night.
You let him pick the movie, thinking that would make things easier somehow. Nothing could be misconstrued, at least, that way. He wouldn’t think you meant anything by your choice, whatever it might be. But you forgot that he might mean something with his choice. You watched the heroine trying to clumsily pick up the hero at the start of White Palace, and cringed so hard it felt more like a cramp in your gut. Your cheeks grew hot, in a way that made you grateful for the dim light of your feeble bedside lamp.
Otherwise he would see your face go red and know you understood his point—despite the fact that his point was fucking nonsense.
“This is even less realistic than Dirty Dancing.”
“Really? You think so? Like, in what way?” You asked.
“It just seems like she keeps pushing and pushing. No woman would push a guy that good-looking if he didn’t seem into it. I can’t think of anything more embarrassing.”
You didn’t look at him, but knew he shrugged.
His arm rubbed against yours as he did it.
“Maybe she doesn’t care.”
“I guess not.”
“Maybe she knows he’s actually into it.”
“That could be one explanation.” Jungkook says, sighing.
“Plus she obviously gets exactly what she was looking for.” He adds.
Onscreen, Susan Sarandon was going down on James Spader.
Which to you didn’t seem to back up his point at all.
“Oh yeah, I’m sure she’s having a great time getting absolutely nothing out of this.”
“That’s what this looks like to you? Like she’s getting nothing out of this?”
“Well, in movies they make it look like she is. But I doubt she really would be.”
“You doubt that giving a guy a blow job could be enjoyable for a woman.”
You glanced at him then, just to see if his expression was as incredulous as his voice.
Then had to look back at the screen quickly. If anything, his expression was worse. He had one eyebrow raised, and there was almost no humour in his eyes. This was serious somehow.
Much too serious.
“I don’t know. I mean it’s not really something you do for your own enjoyment. You do it for his.”
“So to you there’s nothing pleasurable about it. Nothing sexy about having a guy at your mercy. Begging you, moaning for you, trying not to push too deep when it gets too good.”
Your breath hitched.
“You do those things?”
The words came out too fast. Too disbelieving, too.
But You just couldn’t stop them. They ripped out of you before you had time to talk it over with you mind, all ragged around the edges and maybe a little breathless. Just enough that he likely heard it, and wondered why. You couldn’t tell him, however. You didn’t know yourself. You only knew that when he started talking again, you had the urge to put your fingers in your ears.
“Of course I do those things. Having your cock sucked is fucking amazing,” he said, which was absolutely fine.
But then he kept going.
He kept going.
“The heat and the slickness and her looking up at you as she works it with her hands and lips and tongue. Especially the tongue. The tongue is the best part. Watching it curl right around the—”
“Well, okay, it sounds cool when you put it that way.”
God your voice sounded loud. And too fast again, too. All your words practically jumbled together.
“I don’t know what other way it could possibly be.”
“How about hold still while I fuck your face? Some guy coming right in your eye? Losing a chunk of hair because he pulled too hard?”
“You’re not serious. Tell me honestly. None of that happened.”
Now his voice was bright with amusement. But it didn’t make you feel any better.
“All of that happened. To me. More than once.”
“Yeah but after…”
“After he came then he…”
He made a circle with his hand bobbing his head, as though you should know that one thing logically followed on from the other. It was all completely easy and obvious.
Instead of the hardest quiz you had ever had to get through.
“Then he what? Gave me cab fare?”
“No. No. After that then this happens.”
You glanced at the thing he was pointing at.
Then had to look away again, quick. At your hands, at the bedspread.
At him, as he oh-so-slowly realized what your sudden awkwardness meant.
“This has never happened to you. Holy shit. You’ve never had a guy go down on you.”
“I have had a guy go down on me. I totally have.”
“Are you sure about that? You don’t look sure.”
“Well, maybe not like this.”
“There’s no other way to do it. This is actually the most basic, ordinary way to go about eating pussy.”
At those words, you could feel the fire burning on your cheeks and your breathing getting laboured. Jungkook really had no filter.
“Yeah, but this seems really exciting and sexy and hot.”
“Going down on a girl is really exciting and sexy and hot. Like I said about giving a guy head? Exactly the same principle. You get to see you writhe and shake and push herself against your mouth. Just like that, just like Sarandon is doing. Look at her. Look at her.”
“I am. I am looking,” You said, but You weren’t, not really.
You were thinking of the shiver that had gone through you when he said look, soft as butter and so oddly tender. And the way that he was looking himself, eyes almost far away.
Like he was seeing Sarandon, but putting someone else in her place.
“Think about how it must feel.”
“Yeah I can…I get that…”
“Think about his tongue slowly easing over her soft folds.”
“Is that…how…is that what you…” You said, breathlessly
“And it works?”
You voice was a whisper now. But that was okay. His was, too. It was so low he had to lean close to ask you questions. He had to meet your gaze, and You had to meet his.
“It makes you…you know. Cum.”
“Oh yeah. But you gotta take your time.”
“I see. I guess that makes sense.” You were just babbling now, trying to keep up with him.
“Let it build, nice and slow. Start by just stroking her with your fingertips. Work her, you know, until her lips part. And then when she’s all open to you, you just trace the shape of her with your tongue. Lick and lick in these ever decreasing circles until you’re right…fucking…there.”
“Where? Where…where are you?”
You shouldn’t have asked. You knew you shouldn’t as soon as it was out. Your faces were too close together now, and his body seemed to be looming over yours. That was his shoulder, almost nudging your chin. And his thigh, pressing deep and hard into yours. His answer was never going to make any of this better.
Then it came, hotter than molten lava and twice as destructive.
“Her clit. Her slick, swollen clit.”
“I see. That makes sense,” You said, even though that wasn’t what you wanted to go with.
No, what you wanted to go with was more like oh my fucking God this can’t be reality.
“Then you just…stroke it.”
“Until she’s mindless.”
“Doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore, or doing. She might tell you to bite, to fuck her with your tongue and fingers, harder or faster or some word that doesn’t even make sense. Hips coming up to meet you, greedy for it, horny for it, so horny she barely notices that her hand is in your hair and she’s squeezing tight enough for it to sting, so close to coming that her whole body is shuddering and shivering and flushing that deep, good pink. Soon as you see it you just know she’s burning. That her clit is aching and throbbing and her pussy is all open and slippery, and one more second of this will make her come. She’s already coming, before you even know where you’re at. Hard, hard, hard, like she never has before.”
You were holding your breath by the time he was done. You practically had to—his face was so close now you could have blinked and brushed his cheek with your eyelashes. Every word he said seemed to stroke against your face, cool at first but then more heated. As though he was starting to boil alive inside, too. Certainly he looked that way. You have never seem him flushed like this, not even when he pushed himself during a match.
Not even when he was embarrassed.
Though you supposed that wasn’t a common occurrence. He didn’t seem to be embarrassed now, and he’d just said all those words. He said clit and pussy and slippery, as if that was just a normal way to talk to your friend. And he did it all without flinching, too. Without glancing away or putting some distance between you. In fact, those eyes of his—now heavy lidded and so soft focus—seemed intent on you more than they ever had been before. They skittered all over you face, searching for something you had no idea how to give.
You didn’t even know what the something was.
You only knew that it made you forget yourself, just as he had described.
It made you search his face back, marvelling over every brutish line and gentle curve. Those lips of his, as plump as a girl’s yet so masculine at the same time. Every inch of them gleaming, as if he’d slicked them with gloss in anticipation of a kiss.
Though even in that moment you didn’t really believe you wanted that.
Until he whispered, low and heavy against your own lips.
“You can, you know.”
It jolted you, when he said it.
But not as much as realizing why he said it.
You followed his gaze down, and took in the unmistakable sight of your hand in your lap. Really, really high up in your lap. Almost between your legs, in fact—though that was fine, it was cool, it was okay. You stuttered ‘no, no I didn’t really want to do that’, but it didn’t matter.
Because his hand was actually between his legs.
“I do,” he said.
As the whole world as You knew it dissolved right in front of your eyes.
“Fuck, yes. I’m dying to.”
“Because of the film. Because of the movie.”
“Sure. We can say that, if you want.”
You closed your eyes. Swallowed thickly.
Wished hard that he hadn’t added that last part.
“If we could that would be awesome.”
“No problem. I mean it was probably inevitable that this would happen to us.”
“Probably, yeah. Almost definitely, in fact.”
“Just a natural response to a sexy movie.”
“Seems that way to me.”
“So you just slip your hand under your waistband, and I’ll slip my hand under mine,” he said, which was fine all on its own. The problem was that he then went ahead and did it. You tried not to look, but saw anyway. You saw the way he fumbled in his haste, as though all his talk was only calm on the surface. Underneath, something was paddling frantically. It was making his cheeks pink and his body all trembly.
And his dick hard. God, his cock was hard.
You could see that without even trying at all. The curving shape beneath his sweatpants was enormous and unmistakable, and even if it hadn’t been, his hand made it pretty clear. As You watched, he eased it over that solid length, before finally clasping it in a way that shoved the swollen head right up against the tented material. Now You could make out ruder details, like the thick ridge around the head, and the slit at the tip. Both pronounced, explicit, rude.
But that wasn’t what really got you.
It was the way he stopped to lick his palm, before shoving it
under his waistband.
“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, are you serious?”
“It’s cool. it’s fine. We don’t even have to look at each other.”
“No I guess not. I guess…I guess that I can just watch the screen.”
“We’re just two people getting off over a hot movie.”
But that wasn’t strictly true. You weren’t getting off over the movie at all. Nothing was even happening anymore—it was just rich people looking down their noses and arguments over a Dust buster. If anything, it was vaguely depressing, rather than lust-inducing.
Yet still You sat there, face burning, body tender and rigid all at the same time. Half of you stuffed so full of embarrassment and shock you sort of wanted to block everything out, the other half just shamelessly straining to hear every single tiny sound he made. Never daring to look, of course, but then…
You really didn’t need to.
He made so much noise that you could make out almost everything. Every little moan and gasp—and there were a lot of them, too. Lots of thick, guttural moans that started on an ah and ended with a kind of abrupt sigh, as though a knife had sliced through his throat before he could finish. So many soft mmms and gasps, like he honestly couldn’t get enough of whatever he was doing.
Though it was the whispers that hit you hardest. They got you right in the gut, low down and deep enough to ache. Oh yeah, he murmured, as though the hottest sex in the world was happening onscreen. As though they were fucking like animals, up and down and left and right. His tone even sounded sort of tremulous, and it got more intense as time went on. Soon he was panting, and rocking, and every now and then uttering something he was clearly imagining himself doing.
“Ah, yeah, suck my cock, just like that,” he said.
Then just to make it extra agonizing, he spat into his hand.
To make it extra slick, you thought, like someone’s mouth. Someone sucking him the way he’d described, slow and steady until he was actually shuddering, right here and now. The bed was moving, at least, and it wasn’t because he was working that cock hard. He wasn’t. He was going slow, so slow, squeezing and rolling rather than the short, fast kind of thing You’d always thought guys did. They almost never seemed to do anything else in porn…but then again they never did all this other stuff, too. You dared to turn you head a little more and saw to your astonishment that he had his hand pressed to his mouth. He was almost biting his fist, chest heaving, body shivering all over—but most important, eyes closed.
He couldn’t even see you looking. You were free to do as you pleased.Yet something held you back. You couldn’t seem to do more than peek out of the corner of you eye, and even that made you feel strange. You kept getting this clenching sensation—sort of like embarrassment or humiliation—and it got worse when his back arched. When he actually said out loud that he was almost there, that he was so close, that he was gonna come all over your duvet. I need something to do it on, he said, and even that had a shameful frisson of its own. You had a brief flash of him kneeling up and suddenly coming all over your face, or maybe pulling down that ridiculously large neck hole to expose your breasts.
Followed by an image of that thick white liquid coating you, striping you face, dripping off your tight little nipples. Him pushing his cock past your lips to finish off, groaning as he flooded your mouth.
And he would have flooded it, too. You glanced at him just in time to see him shove his sweatpants down, that big dick swelling under the pressure of his too-tight grip. Thick ribbons of come already hitting his bared belly, over and over until you were sure he must be done. He had to be, yet more kept flowing over his still-working fist. You watched it run down over his fingers in slippery trails before pooling in his lap.
Though none of it was what you kept seeing behind your eyes in the aftermath. Instead, you saw the way his face had looked as he shot his load. The open mouth, and the closed eyes, and most of all the strange, wrenching vulnerability that had covered him for a moment. No mischief, no macho bullshit—just a completely open and abandoned sort of ecstasy.
And all of it for you.
He knew you had watched him. He still knew now. You flicked your eyes back to the screen as he started to catch his breath, but the first thing he did was include you.
“Guess I kind of made a mess here,” he said, everything about his tone suggesting two conspirators, finishing off their evil deed. You even got up after he’d said it, to get him a tissue.
Though when You got back he’d pretty much taken care of most of it.
You stopped in the doorway to the bathroom at the sight:
Him, casually licking his messy fingers.
It took you a good two minutes after that to go over to him, with your fistful of toilet paper. And when you did go, it was on very shaky legs. Your whole body felt shaky, in fact—though not in any way you’d experienced before. This was like being full to the brim with something burning hot, skin so close to ripping that it couldn’t keep still. Sometimes you thought you could see it shivering slightly under the strain, and every inch of it was tender, so tender. His leg brushed yours as you sat down, and it was agony.
You even winced—then immediately regretted it.
He had been concentrating on clean-up. Now he looked up at you sharply.
And asked questions You were loathing to answer.
“Have you…not? I mean have you not—”
“I couldn’t. I’m sorry, I couldn’t.”
“God, you must be bursting.”
“Honestly, I’m fine.”
The problem was though; you didn’t seem fine.
You couldn’t meet his gaze. Your hands were fists on your thighs.
And of course he could see all of that.
“You look like you’re bursting.”
“Oh yeah? And what does bursting look like?”
“Your voice is shaking.”
“Is it?” You asked, voice so light it almost passed.
Almost, almost, almost.
“Your cheeks are flushed.”
“And then there’s the fact that your nipples are like diamonds. Fuck, look how stiff they are. Isn’t that agonizing, having them like that? I bet your clit’s the same. Bet your pussy is so wet. So wet you’re making a mess of the nice, clean clothes.”
Your cheeks grew hotter and hotter as he whispered each word. By the time he was done they felt like they were going to melt right off you face. That tense, cringing feeling in your stomach was ten times worse, and that was before he got to the last point. The one about the clothes, and the mess, and oh god what if he was right? It felt as if he might be. You weren’t wearing any underwear, and everything was really slippery between your legs. You could feel it, every time You moved.
“Oh fuck, sorry, sorry I don’t…I hope…it’s just that—” You didn’t even know why you were apologizing
“Honey, you don’t need an explanation.”
His tone was like sinking into a warm bath—and the thumb you could feel stroking over you forearm only pulled you deeper down. He just did it so idly. So like he wasn’t touching you at all.
Before you knew it, you were up to your ears in liquid heat.
“Are you sure? Because it kind of feels like I do.”
“I’m sure. I mean, the movie was pretty intense.”
“Right, exactly. Super intense.”
“So why deny yourself?”
“I could leave, if you want.”
“No, god no,” You said, too fast and too fierce.v
Though it was only afterward that you realized how it sounded:
Not like someone trying to say you didn’t want to masturbate.
Like someone saying that you wanted him to stay.
And he took it that way, too.
“Or, you know. I could just…do it for you,” he said.
Then you just had to do your best not to go out of your mind.
You stopped herself from jumping up. Kept your hands from flailing.
Didn’t look at him, in case looking made you do something crazy.
“Oh my god. You can’t be serious. You can’t be serious.”
“Probably wouldn’t take a lot.”
“I always take a lot.”
“Even when you’re alone?”
“Especially when I’m alone.”
“Well, maybe we should see about that.”
Again, you had the urge to get up. Maybe you even would have, if it hadn’t been for the other things he was doing. The thumb stroking your arm was now the back of his hand, running the length of your arm over and over. And that was his breath against the curve of your throat, so close and warm he could have been kissing you there. It felt like kissing.
Only without the scariness of the real thing.
All of this was without the scariness of the real thing.
It was just a game, that was all—and one that you could win if you really put you mind to it. He thought he could get you so easily, but he was utterly and completely wrong. You were a rock, in the face of whatever he was going to do. You were impervious to the pleasure he seemed to think he was going to dole out, to the point where you almost laughed when he slipped his hand beneath the waistband of those too-big sweatpants.
It was weird. Slightly uncomfortable.
Not sexy in the least.
And then his fingertips just oh-so-lightly grazed the pouting lips of your swollen pussy, and things pretty much started to go downhill from there. The sensation it sent through you was just so intense, and over something so small. He hadn’t even slipped between them to your clit, or eased a finger into your slick little hole. In truth, you weren’t entirely sure he’d touched you at all.
Yet you still had to clench your jaw.
You had to tell herself that it was just the stuff that had happened before—the film and him coming and then licking his fingers like a satisfied cat. It wasn’t anything to do with this right now, with him touching you, with his skill. He wasn’t skilful at all. He was terrible. Awful.
he worst lover you had ever had.
You had no idea why your thighs were trembling. Or what made you moan when he finally, finally, finally eased his fingers into that slick slit, and then topped it off by telling you just what he found there.
“Ohhhh fuuuuck you are wet. You’re so wet. Jesus Christ, Y/N, how can you stand it? How can you sit still and quiet with those eyes closed when your pussy is like this? So slippery I can just glide all the way down and ease on in and oh man, oh man,” he said, and all You could do in response was shiver and make a number of embarrassing noises. First for his words, and then oh god then for the feel of him doing it.
He used two fingers—two of those long, thick fingers—yet somehow it didn’t hurt when he pushed into you. There was no fumbling or searching. Your body just seemed to open for him, as though they’d dated for years and he’d worked on you for hours. He knew exactly how to touch you there, and when he did you simply had to respond. Your gasp rung out in the small room.Though you vowed it would be the last one. That was it now—you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of anything else. Not even when he started working his fingers in and out, slow and steady and so unbelievably good. you kind of wanted to cry over the unfairness of it. Why was he the one who had to be so good at this? How did he know how to do it in this deliberate, teasing, tantalizing way?
Even watching him do it was exciting. You made the mistake of glancing down and all you could see was his hand rolling beneath the material, the waistband occasionally stretching to give you a glimpse of your glossy cunt, his gleaming fingers, the way you were spread around that thick intrusion…
You had to look at the screen just to stop yourself coming right then and there—though even those measures had an exciting quality of their own. James Spader was just doing something incredibly dull now, while you sat here watching through slitted eyelids, cheeks flushed and legs spread, as a man slowly fingered your slick, flushed pussy. Back and forth, back and forth, until you were so beside yourself you weren’t sure you even wanted to hold back your moans.
You only knew that you were still trying, for reasons that seemed vague and far away now. It just doesn’t matter, your mind hissed, but you kept it up anyway. You held yourself more tightly and bit deep into your lip—deep enough that you tasted blood. And when he started to ease those fingers up, you shut your eyes tight. You thought of other things, more boring things: dry books and bird-watching.
All to no avail. He made one circle around your clit.
Just one tiny, insignificant circle, and that was it.
Your orgasm rolled up from that stiff little bud, in one all-consuming and all-powerful wave. It took away your control over your body—your toes curled tight and your back arched. But most important, it took away your control over your mouth. It let one little word slip out.
Though one little word was more than enough.
“Jungkook,” You said, and after that the game was pretty much up. That was gratitude in your voice and pleasure in the sigh behind it, and all wrapped in the neat little bow of his name. There was no more pretending that it wasn’t him who had made you feel this way, or suggesting that all of this was just a game.And he knew it immediately. He kept up the thrusts of his long, thick fingers, helping you prolong the feeling of your orgasm for as long as possible. And he didn’t stop there. Your face was starting to contort from the oversensitivity and it was obvious that Jungkook knew it too from the way he bit his lip and started to purposely move his fingers faster once again.
“Ahh! J-Jungkook… I can’t….” You moaned out, though this seemed to have no effect on him as he seemed determined to elicit another orgasm from you. His fingers scraping against your tightening walls as they fought to repeatedly slam back inside you. Your thighs were shaking, your eyes half lidded, leaning back on your hands as his worked between your legs. Suddenly you gripped Jungkook’s moving hand as you came dangerously close to letting go.
“That’s it, fuck, cum again for me Y/N. I need this. You need this” He almost sounded desperate and it made you want to sob because everything was so fucking hot.
With a cry of his name, you came undone again, your body almost curling in towards itself from the sensitivity.
“Holy shit, holy shit,” he said, as though you’d cried out the filthiest thing on the face of the earth. And, again, he didn’t stop there. You could hear him fumbling with the waistband of his sweatpants already—though you tried to turn it into something else in your head. He was just pulling them up, you thought. They had slid down as he serviced you, that was all.
Only it wasn’t all.
When you made the mistake of glancing his way, you saw so much more than you were ready for. It was supposed to be over now, completely over, but he’d shoved everything down to mid-thigh and his cock was in his hand again and god god god why was it so arousing? You’d had cum twice already. He’d had one orgasm already, and now he was being so fucking filthy.
Yet somehow the filthiness only made it worse.
You came searingly close to telling him yes.
And go on.
And come all over me—just like you’d imagined.
For one wild second, it even seemed like he might. He was groaning and panting and he kept saying things, incredible things like “do you see what you do to me do you get how fucking horny you make me oh fuck just hearing you moan my name”. His hand was heavy on your shoulder, and you knew he was close. He was going to yank your top down any second now.
Any second, you thought.
Though you didn’t realize how much you wanted it until the first thick burst slid over his fist.
Didn’t know how little control you had over herself until he grunted your name and shuddered violently, that slick fluid easing over his still-pumping fist. After all, if you’d had any you would have stayed right where you were, content to just watch.Instead of leaning forward to take that heavy, swollen, slippery head in your mouth, to catch the last ribbons of his salt-sweet cum all over your eager tongue.
“Fucking fuck, Jagiya” Jungkook cursed loudly, watching you take the head of his cock in your mouth. He slid his hands in your hair, gripping it from the bottom of your skull gently, rocking your face back and forth, riding out the last of his high. You looked up at him, eye still glassed over, breathing hard and laboured and slid the head of him out of your mouth.
There was no doubt that Jungkook was shocked at your boldness but he seemed pleasantly surprised. His pupils blown out, lips swollen, skin gleaming. He truly was a work of art. The magnitude of what you two had done hit you hard. So, naturally, there was only one thing left to do in panic.
Kick him out.
“Jungkook…you need to leave”
A/N: So, Idk what happened but yeah hope you all enjoy. Not sure if I’ll make this a series since I’m bad at continuing ideas. I may stick to separate scenarios. I get bored easily. However, please feel free to check out my blog and send me ideas for new fics
How about a semi angsty fight with the rfa+V but they make up because HAPPY ENDINGS ARE NICE
I’m a slut for angst don’t give me this power
✮ you had accidentally knocked the power cord to his computer while you were cleaning and he was playing LOLOL ✮ he screamed ✮ he was ranting and raving about how he was in the middle of an important raid and he was so close to levelling up ✮ and you’re kinda standing there with a laundry basket and a pile of clothes almost over your head ✮ and you don’t know what to do ✮ you kind of want to cry ✮ you kind of want to throw the laundry at his head ✮ until ✮ “rika never did things like this!!” ✮ oh ✮ of course ✮ it somehow always got back to this point. comparing you with rika ✮ sometimes he didn’t mean it or even realise he’d done it. but this was different ✮ you remain eerily calm, putting the laundry down before turning to glare at yoosung ✮ a wave of realisation hits him and he’s just full of guilt ✮ you very calmly tell him you’re going to spend the night with jaehee, and ask him not to contact you ✮ he begins crying and pleading with you to stop and stay ✮ he’s so sorry and he’s just hating himself while you pack an overnight bag ✮ he’s practically on his knees and following you, begging you to stay ✮ you kind of pause when you see the raw sorrow in his face ✮ you sigh and stop for a moment ✮ you’re hurt but you know that you have to talk it out with yoosung for it to get better ✮ you both talk for a few hours, and he completely understands your viewpoint and he apologises 18923475829 times ✮ he stays off of LOLOL for a few weeks, and even after that he tries not to get too obsessed– because that’s how the whole problem started ✮ he just doesn’t want to lose you
✎ you just wanted her to stop working so much ✎ she was working overtime at the cafe ✎ so much that she practically lived there ✎ she was there after-hours and before-hours ✎ sometimes she slept there and wouldn’t come home ✎ so you book a holiday for her in secret, making plans behind her back for the cafe so it can function without her ✎ you tell all the employees and the deliverers who are close with the shop ✎ but when you sit jaehee down and announce your plan ✎ she gets so cold ✎ she wants none of it ✎ she’s not overworking herself dammit ✎ she’s just doing what needs to be done ✎ you try telling her that she doesn’t need to coddle the cafe, that you and the other emplyees were fully capable of running it ✎ but she’s so worked up ✎ and she says that you can’t ✎ you’re clearly offended and you’re upset that your hard work planning this holiday for her is being pushed aside ✎ somehow, you get her to take the holiday and see how it pans out ✎ she’s calling you constantly ✎ eventually you start ignoring her calls and texts ✎ she gets so freaked out that the cafe is literally crumbling with you in charge so she rushes home ✎ and you’re so mad when she rushes into the cafe, only to stop when she sees everything is going as usual ✎ “b-but you weren’t answering my calls! I thought something happened!” ✎ “jaehee i was ignoring you because you have no trust in me and I was busy making sure you could enjoy your holiday!” you were screaming ✎ she felt so bad ✎ she took her vacation and came back a lot better ✎ you two made up, and she explained that her problem came from being jumin’s assistant for so long (if she didn’t do her job everything fucked up bc jumin is horrible at his job lmao) ✎ she was a lot more calm after that and took breaks when she needed to (even took some time off on every second weekend- when you took care of the cafe)
✿ he was working ✿ of course ✿ his job was the root of most of your arguments as a couple ✿ but this time he had gone out for drinks with the cast ✿ while you were standing outside of a restaurant waiting for him- you were going to have a date since filming was wrapping up that day (which is why the cast was having drinks in the first place) ✿ you had faith in him, and stayed there until the restaurant closed ✿ which was very, very late in the evening, seeing as it was part bar ✿ as you were walking home, upset ✿ zen came stumbling out of the bar with his castmates ✿ he doesn’t notice you at first ✿ until one of his acting buddies points at you, not recognising you, and laughs about how you’re soaked in rain and look like you’ve had that worst day of your life ✿ you hear him ✿ zen chuckles slightly before looking closer and realising who it is ✿ swears up a storm as he pushes away everyone- muttering out something like ‘ssss my girlfirendddd’ ✿ he tries to grab you because you’re storming away ✿ he’s trying to coo and ask you why you were out so late because he’s drunk and doesn’t remember ✿ you slap his hands away before screaming at him ✿ “I was waiting for you! Our date for celebrating the end of filming?! Guess you had other plans, huh?!” ✿ he’s so shocked like ✿ it looks like he’s been smacked in the face ✿ he follows you all the way home, apologising profusely ✿ you make him sleep on the couch and lock yourself in the bedroom ✿ when he wakes up the next morning he remembers, even through his wicked hangover ✿ he cooks an amazing breakfast and waits for you to come out ✿ when you do he hands you flowers with a card about how sorry he is ✿ he swears that he’ll make it up to you- and never let it happen ever again
₩ he was planning on properly introducing you to his father ₩ but he was getting so controlling ₩ he literally dressed you and did your hair and practically gave you a lecture on how to act and what to say ₩ you’re kind of pissed at him but try to understand that he’s just stressed about how his father will react ₩ his father loves you, and you loosen up- begin to be yourself ₩ his father leaves after blessing your relationship together ₩ but jumin is fuming ₩ ‘what were you doing?! I told you not to say this or that’ blah blah ₩ you’re just so shocked ₩ “jumin that’s not who I am!” ₩ “that’s who you should be!” ₩ silence. ₩ jumin has never been afraid of anything ₩ but he’s afraid of this silence and the tears that are slipping down your cheeks ₩ he’s afraid of what he said. he’s afraid of himself ₩ he stumbles over his words as he tries to apologise, saying that isn’t what he meant ₩ you can’t hear him though, all you can hear is his previous words echoing through your head ₩ you tell him you’re sleeping in the guest room that night- the only thing you said before locking him out ₩ when you get up the next morning ₩ you open the door and see jumin sitting on the ground agains the wall next to your door, elizabeth pulled to his chest ₩ his eyes were puffy and his cheeks and nose red ₩ he had a note next to him that he hadn’t finished ₩ it read ‘I’m sorry’ over and over, tear stains smudging some of the letters ₩ you sigh, and kneel down to wake him up ₩ he explains that he thought his father wouldn’t accept you unless you were like the other women and he didn’t want his father to come between your relationship anymore than he already had with the Sarah bullshit ₩ and you make up but he spends so long reassuring you that he loves you so much, just the way you are
✞ he was doing it again ✞ he was trying to push you away ✞ someone had approached you while you were on the street, asking about a ‘707′ ✞ when you told saeyoung he got so scared and reverted back to his old ways ✞ trying to push you away so that you ‘wouldn’t get hurt’ ✞ when you try to kiss his cheek he physically pushes you away (after acting hostile all day) ✞ and you trip over his wires and fall- hitting your head on the ground ✞ he’s shocked, you’re shocked ✞ he reaches forward to try and help you but freezes when you flinch away ✞ he feels like less than shit ✞ he feels like death himself. the grim reaper- that’s him. ✞ he watches helplessly as you stumble to your feet and rush off to the bedroom, locking yourself inside (even though Saeyoung had control over the locks) ✞ he spends about an hour just leaning over his desk with his head in his hands, thinking over how terrible he had been ✞ how you deserve so much better ✞ he was unstable. he was dangerous. ✞ you were the light. you were everything ✞ after a while he unlocks the door and sends your robot-cat in with flowers and a note in his mouth ✞ it’s a handwritten letter from saeyoung, telling you he was just scared ✞ that he was so sorry. that he loved you more than he could ever understand and he didn’t know how to deal with that yet ✞ you slowly walk out, seeing him sitting on the ground somewhere, surrounded by the mess that he’d made ✞ he had thrown all the cushions and pillows on the couch. ripped up the first drafts of the note. he’d even knocked one of his monitors to the ground, shattering it. ✞ you sit with him and talk together ✞ you make a plan for how you can both deal with these times better ✞ he promises to spend his life making sure you’re as happy as you can be
☼ i’m so sorry but i don’t want to hurt this precious roll
The apartment is dark, lights dimmed so you can set the mood for what you expect to be an emotional performance. Your laptop is plugged into the television and the screen is flickering, splashing colors across your face from a product commercial. Harry is across the world, about to premiere a song from his upcoming album on a popular talk show. Despite how excited you are to hear the music, you’re still nervous for him, as you always are. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll smash whatever he performs, but he always seems to get in his own way.
Summary: Peter learns that you are going to ask your crush on a date.
Word count: 1,042
Warnings: Swearing, Probably angst
You were so happy when you bought the dress.
It was this blue knee-length dress that had an amazing amount of detail. And it was at a cheap prize.
“What do you think about this one, Peter?” you asked as you twirled around. Your best friend was sitting right next to the dressing rooms, waiting for you to appear with a new dress on.
So far you liked a vivid red dress, a mint green short dress and this beautiful blue dress.
“Hmm…i don’t know. I don’t want any of the guy’s eyes on you” he said. You laughed it off, not thinking anything of it as you twirled once again. You were so happy that this dress existed, thank the holy gods.
But to Peter, this was no joke. He wanted to tell you how he felt ever since you met. He loved the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way your face lits up when you see food.
But he didn’t want to ruin your friendship, so he kept his mouth shut.
Requested by anon: “Could you do a soulmate au with deadpool where you feel your soulmates pain and they meet after he gets cancer and has the healing ability and he meets her and apologizes about all the pain”
A/N: Hope you love this anon! I tried to get some humor in there lol.
Let’s talk about soulmates. That one significant person that’s supposed to have been designed to be your perfect match. They’re supposed to know everything about you, even the amount of pain you suffered, that’s because they felt it too. Every broken bone to papercut.
So the idea of meeting his soulmate made Wade’s skin crawl everything he went through, and of his own volition. How could he face you? Putting you through every needle puncture. He did everything he could to avoid his soulmate, if someone so what as flinched around him when he felt any sort of pain he got out of there fast.
But fate has a way of doing it’s job.
Wade was walking down a cold damp sidewalk. His hood was pulled over his head, protecting him from the cold rain and the stares from passersby. By the time he reached his location his hood was soaked with rain, but the chill didn’t really bother him. After everything he’s been through, cold was the last thing he felt.
Reaching the door to his location he entered a small tucked away coffee shop. A diamond in the rough if one will. It had good coffee but many people didn’t know about it, making it perfect. When he came in he sat at a table in the corner, avoiding the eyes of the other patrons.
He knew every worker in this place. So when he heard an unfamiliar voice and laugh he couldn’t help but look up. He saw you behind the counter laughing at a joke one of your co-workers had made. Countering it with one of your own, making Wade chuckle.
Noticing you look over, he watched as you grab a pen and order pad before walking from behind the counter.
He ducked his head and pulled his hood further over his face.
“Hello Sir, I’m [F/n]. Is there anything I can get you today?” You asked in a friendly tone. A smile crossing your face.
Wade didn’t pick up his head just answered with a simple order of black coffee. Black as his soul to be exact, making a laugh escape from your throat and him to allow a smile.
He peeked up after you left, watching you walk back to the counter. He found you rather attractive, but you’d never go for someone as disfigured and unappealing as him.
He ducked his head again when you returned with the cup of coffee. “Will there be anything else for you sir?” Asking with the same cheery tone.
“Um, no this is fine.” He nodded.
Taking a sip he immediately recoiled, “Fuck that’s hot” you both said in unison. His eyes widened and he looked up at you. Seeing you holding your lip the same place he was burned.
“Oh my god” you muttered in disbelief. Wade immediately got self conscious and pulled at his hood to cover his head more. “No, not that” you said stopping him, allow him to take the hood off.
Looking back at the counter before sitting across from him. He just stared at you, “I guess we’re soulmates” smiling at him.
“I-I guess so” his stare never ceasing. “I’m sorry. I uh. For everything, you felt everything. I’m so sorry I never wanted to inflict that kind of pain on you and now you’re stuck with some disfigured t-Rex for a soulmate” he apologized profusely.
You shook your head, “You mean your skin? That doesn’t bother me.” Smiling comfortingly at him.
You nodded, “You see, my brother used to be a firefighter. But he got caught in a fire helping when he was off duty. Not having any of his gear ended with him having severe burns. I-I guess because of that and the way his wife accepts him and everyone accepts him, makes it not really bother me. I find you extremely handsome…” Pausing where a name would be.
Shaking off his stunned expression he said “Wade Wilson”
You smiled “Wade. I’m [F/n] [L/n]”
He smiled at you. “You really don’t mind being with me.”
Nodding you answered “Well I guess I have a thing for T-Rex’s” chuckling.
Laughing he said, “Yup, I guess so. You do know, all dinosaurs feared the T-Rex” making you laugh. “I’ve said that in a movie before” he nodded (Warning: mind the fourth wall).
“Oh really? Well I guess I’m talking to a movie star”
He chuckled “You have no idea” *winks at audience*
i asked @beanpots for some of her favorite words and she said “grateful” so i guess here is a thing?
It’s a dark and stormy night when Viktor heads home, walking quietly through the rain-soaked streets with his umbrella clutched tightly in his hand.
It’s been a long day, working with Yakov after everyone else left, working until his body was exhausted and his mind craved rest. The hot shower he took at the rink helped, but he just wants the feeling of warmth, the kind of warmth that settles into his chest like a cozy, purring cat.
The streetlamps and headlights from the occasional passing cars reflect warm and golden in the puddles and rivulets running down the pavement, and he watches them, watches the ripples when he steps into the center of a glowing orb in the water. They dance and shiver and soar, and he walks on.
His key in the door is quiet, and it’s dark when he finally steps inside, thunder rumbling off in the distance. For a moment he thinks Yuuri might already be asleep, but then he hears a voice from the living room.
“I’m home, dear,” he calls back, soft as the rain on the windowpane as he slips out of his shoes and coat. “Sorry I ran late.”
“It’s fine,” Yuuri answers, padding out of the living room to come hug him. He’s soft and warm and cozy, clad in one of Viktor’s old shirts, some sweatpants, and fuzzy socks, and he smells like home. Viktor holds him close and breathes in, and remembers that his apartment is a home now, home in a way it hasn’t been for years, and feels some of the day’s tension fall from his shoulders.
“What’ve you been up to?” he asks, keeping his voice gentle and low as Yuuri takes his hand and leads him back to the living room, where Makkachin is curled up, asleep under her favorite blanket, while “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” plays on the TV. There’s another blanket on the couch, and Viktor smiles. “Cozy evening in with Makkachin?”
“Mm,” Yuuri hums. “Cozier with you here, too.”
Viktor squeezes his hand, smiling as a tendril of that warmth he’s been craving sneaks into his chest and wraps itself around his heart. “I’ll go get into something more comfortable,” he says, letting go and turning to the bedroom.
“I’ll make you tea,” Yuuri says, shuffling into the kitchen. The light turns on as Viktor walks away, still smiling, and sheds his clothes in favor of something loose, light, and comfortable, perfect for watching Disney movies on the couch in, and meanders back to the living room.
Yuuri is waiting for him, and a steaming mug sits on the coffee table, the tag on the teabag revealing in the dimness that it’s chamomile. Viktor sinks into the cushions with a deep, bone-weary sigh, and Yuuri leans into his side, pulling the blanket over both of them.
“The tea is hot,” he says, and perhaps the steam curling in delicate wisps toward the ceiling renders the warning a little unnecessary, but Viktor appreciates it anyway, because nobody really used to warn him of hot drinks, before.
“Thank you,” he says, and kisses his fiancé’s temple. The tea isn’t the only thing he’s grateful for.
So the boy has never tasted cherries,
but he considers strawberries the same
thing and it feels like you’re free falling.
This is like saying, you didn’t love me
but you loved the way I said your name
late at night when you couldn’t sleep.
This is a double edged sword, never
giving your hand a break from the blade.
Because it always glitters in the light and
you miss the light. So you keep going back
to the boy and you keep leaving letters at
the graveside. You keep hoping he’ll write
back, but the rain always soaks the page
and then there’s more poems about the
storms and the dark cloud he left you
under. And the irony is that you hate
the taste of cherries, but you wanted
him to love them. You wanted to know
he was capable of loving something.
He dated a bit during his late teens and early twenties, but he
never found the person he was looking for. He found girls who wanted him for
his physique, name, lifestyle, and some who were genuine but could never figure
out how he liked to be loved. He was the affectionate type but with his work
schedule, it became difficult to show physical love to his significant other.
Harry found ways to show them that he was thinking of them by sending them
texts throughout the day to know he was thinking of them, making sure they ate,
or were comfortable during tough weeks. It seemed that after a while, they
became bored and in the end he was left broken hearted; just like this last
was a person of routine on his days to himself in London town: up by 7am, ate a
light snack, run, shower breakfast, work, and repeat. At least, that’s what it
has been like the past few weeks and he had grown tired of it. Harry decided to
get back into running through the neighborhoods to change things up rather than
in the confines of a stale, smelly gym. Working out was his therapy when things
got to be too much and he needed the time to focus on himself and his
well-being. Running from his home in Hampstead right into Primrose Hill was his
favorite route. There was character in London. He loved seeing the little ones
and their parents walking to school, the opening of his favorite café where he
could choose his own mug, and the delicious smell of bread in the bakery near
wasn’t until a few weeks ago when he had his Aha! moment siting in that very
café looking out into the colorful homes that lined the street adorned with
vines of blooming flowers where realized he had been looking for love in all
the wrong places. He needed to fall in love again with himself and the life he
built rather than in a person. In his journal he wrote “Finding love within
myself, in friends, family, and through experiences rather than forcing
companionship. The one will come. Give it time” with a latte stain adorning the
top of the page. So he waited, and ran, and worked his bum off, waiting for her
to show up.
SMUT. If you are under 18, turn away now. (Or don’t. I’m not your mom. I can’t tell
you how to live your life. Just know that this is like, super smutty so
proceed with caution, eh?)
Author’s Note: Sorry this is late! Between work, an AHL game, and all these playoff games, I got super distracted. I hope it was worth the wait! Comments, questions, concerns? Let me know, I love talking to you guys.
You pulled the hood of his gray sweatshirt over your head,
picking up the pace as you moved quickly down the sidewalk; the scent of his
cologne stuck to the fabric. Auston had suggested walking to the movie theater,
explaining that it would give the two of you more time to get to know each
other; as the gray clouds moved across the sky you realized the storm was going
to hit sooner than expected. Auston came to a stop at the crosswalk, turning
around as he waited for you to catch up. The traffic light changed as you
reached his side; lacing his fingers through yours, he guided you across the
“Oh shit.” he muttered as the first drop of rain landed on his
cheek; you both glanced up at the darkening sky. “Where should we hide out?” he
asked, his eyes scanning the streets as he tried to determine the best place
for the two of you to wait out the rain. “There’s a coffee shop at the end of
the block.” he suggested as a light drizzle began to fall from the sky.
“The storm is supposed to last for hours. If we go to a
coffee shop we’ll be stuck there all day.” you said, your breath becoming
heavier as you tried to keep up with his long strides.
“My place is about 3 blocks away.” he offered, nervously.
The two of you had gone out on a few dates over the past month; always chatting
at restaurants, hiking together outside the city, stealing kisses like middle
schoolers in the back of the movie theater. You had never truly spent time
together in private. You had really enjoyed getting to know Auston over that
time and were more than ready to spend more time together; alone.
Summer comes with sunburn and winter brings
frostbite so I guess we’re only truly safe during
the in-between seasons. Always heavy with rain
soaked skin, mouth spilling like a waterfall. Our
hearts racing like hummingbird wings. Pollen
laced fingertips, dragging it through each others
hair. This humid air, keeping the sheets stuck to
us. Every wish on ladybugs, every mouthful of
dandelion fluff. Stuffed to the brim with sunflower
seeds. We come to life in the spring, roots twisted
and melded together. The willow trees strain their
limbs to hear our starry-eyed dreams. In autumn,
we clatter and crunch, dead leaves on porcelain
tile. Quiet, suburban nights on dead end streets.
Our mouths come away bruised by the rose petals,
the shade of tart berries. The sunset dips below
the horizon, spilled honey on blacktop. We are
safe, we are whole, buried in our golden haven.