ragnarok now

little thor: ragnarok things

- bruce banner, immediately recognizing a balled-up pile of fabric passed to him even in the midst of total disorientation on an alien planet after two years as the hulk: “these are tony’s clothes!”

- bruce banner, pulling at the pants’ crotch: “tony wears his pants really tight.”

- bruce banner, once again tugging at the crotch of his pants to remind us of the difference between his and tony stark’s dick sizes

- bruce banner, putting on tony stark’s glasses: “i’ll be tony!”

- thor, about loki: “there was one time when we were children he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that i love snakes. so i went to pick up the snake to admire it. and he transformed back into himself and he was like, ‘*mblergh* it’s me!’ and he stabbed me. we were eight at the time.” loki, bound in chains: *smiles fondly at the memory*

- loki, staring at thor’s new look: “it suits you.”

- thor, tossing a bottle stopper shaped like a diamond at loki: “if you were here i might even hug you.”

- loki, snatching the diamond stopper from the air, smirking: “i’m here.”

- FADE TO BLACK

HEADCANON TIME:  In the MCU it’s long been impossible for Loki to be Hela’s father (and it’s not true in the comics, either), we can handwave a lot away by, oh, comics like to do that thing where Asgardian magical villains like to wear green because, hey, that’s true.

BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING ELSE?

Things we know:
- Approximately a thousand years ago is when Odin battled against Jotunheim and brought baby Loki home, after he was abandoned.  Thor never knew that Loki was adopted, so he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this, which would also put his birth at about a thousand years ago.  (Give or take a bit.)
- Hela and Odin’s conquering ways were at some point between 5,000 years ago (the last Convergence when Bor was still king) and 1,000 years ago (when Odin went to war against Jotunheim for their invasion of Midgard), her banishment likely closer to the 1,000 years ago point.
- Hela said, when talking to Thor, about Odin’s change of heart, “And then, one day, he decided to become a benevolent king, foster peace, to protect life.  To have… you.“
- Laufey was shown in the mural as an important peace treaty, the only one we know.  Most likely a reference to the first movie (because this movie was all about references to previous movies) but bear with me.
- Laufey’s talk with Loki has a strong undercurrent of him waiting to see where this goes, that he says it was his decision to leave baby Loki out on the rock, but he is very clearly trying to play along with this to see what he can get out of it. I don’t trust anything he says in that conversation.
- Odin is the one who says that the baby he found was Laufey’s son, but we don’t know how he knows this.

What if one of the realms that Hela conquered last was Jotunheim, brutally savaging their civilization and so Odin felt responsible, that it was important to make a peace treaty with them, even after they invaded the far weaker Midgard, because of what Hela had done to them.

Hela, while there, took a war prize of their king, whether because she was in the mood or as a way to humiliate him because he was weak and she wanted to show that.  And became pregnant with a half-Jotunn baby, maybe she wanted to see where this would go, what kind of monster she could birth, like her beloved Fenris, maybe one who had magical powers like her.

But the baby only half as strong because he was also half of this pathetic race, so she left the baby out in the cold, let Laufey do what he would or wouldn’t with it.

Instead, Odin found the baby, who recognized the touch of an As, who shifted to As form that looked just like his mother’s form.

It was no surprise to fate then, though no one else knew, that the baby would grow up with inky black hair and a talent for magic and favored black and green, along with a fondness for chaos and mischief.