raging erection

TalesFromThePizzaGuy: The time I was caressed by and old man to enter his house on delivery when I noticed his raging erection.

Usual night on the job, on delivery not far from the store. Deliver in a relatively high social-economic area so I get to go to some nice houses with great views.

Rock up the at the door of a beautiful white villa and ring the bell. Old dude in a bath robe opens the door (almost certain thats all he was wearing) where I greet him nicely despite feeling very uncomfortable. He tells me to come into the house and place the food on the table for him, and when I politely refuse saying its company policy he goes on a tangent about how times have changed and how good service is no longer around etc etc.

I give in and come inside, where he proceeds to close the door behind me (wtf seriously dude). Already feeling incredibly uncomfortable, I turn after placing the pizza on the table and notice his hand held out with the money, but below his hand, a massive erect bulge pushing from behind his bathrobe.

Seeing this all I can think is to leave ASAP, my balloon knot isn’t being intruded tonight, was in no mood for the chocolate cha cha. I promptly take the money, he tells me it’s correct change, didn’t count it, just walked out.

Turns out he gave me a $20 tip, 10/10 would deliver there again.

By: Hesk121

anonymous asked:

can you write about how gyuhao came to be (since minghao HIGHKEY hates mingyu how did he ever let him inside him?) + how they would fuck?

  • So we all know gyuhao to have this bickering best friends dynamic
  • But we all know how much Minghao loves to take his anger out on Mingyu because he is an annoying little SHIT
  • Honestly Minghao finds Gyu 100% annoying
  • And like,,, mingyu thinks it’s the opposite, that it’s affectionate so he’s always like,,, cuddling Hao and giving lil kisses
  • And not forgetting the classic ‘sorry I didn’t notice you were naked but here I am naked as well with a raging erection’
  • and like everyone notices that the gyuhao couple don’t fuck… EVER
  • except Mingyu himself
  • but even though hao never acts like he likes mingyu all that much, truth is he isn’t all sappy and doting as the other members, and he guesses mingyu’s alright
  • and even though he acts angry when Mingyu walks in on him showering he can’t help but run his eyes over his golden,,, toned,,, glowing,,, godly,,, barely there abs
  • and mingyu noticed this once and mingyu being mingyu just had to comment ‘eye fucking me is useless if you want daddy’s cum’
  • LMAO nice try Mingyu
  • Hao snorted ‘yeah and I hear what you call Wonwoo in bed, ‘Master Jeon’s little whore’, get out before I punch you’
  • ngl that broke Mingyu
  • he classes this pompously hot dude as his bestfriend yet he can’t help but only now notice this affection is definitely not returned
  • but anyway hao does find him the most annoying and the most deserving of a left hook to the face 100% of the time
  • but he does also find him undeniably attractive and gets needy anytime gyu floats into his late night fantasies
  • But the question is how did they end up fucking???
  • well a little birdy so happened to tell hao that mingyu had enough of being left out ((jun))
  • tbh it drove minghao crazy he did wanna fuck him because he’s so HOT but the ecstasy of just leading gyu on was all too much and also because he heard gyu was a bottom and ew gross hao loves being bottom too much
  • going forward
  • hao noticed gyu being more like himself… cold and distant
  • it was late at night,,, and little ol’ hao took his time showering and decided to wear his favourite panties and touch himself how he thought mingyu would…
  • he got so lost in himself he’s moaning his name and gueSS WHAT MINGYU HEARS HIM FROM HIS ROOM AND WALKS IN AND LOCKS THE DOOR
  • ‘So this was all part of your game was it? do you think you can get away with this? you’ve kept Daddy on edge all this time…’ and gyu’s breathing this into hao’s face all crouched on the floor in front of him
  • ‘So? Mingyu you’re fucking annoying me 24/7 I thought I would catch a break playing you LOOOOL APPARENTLY NOT’
  • you gotta give it to Minghao he plays games well lmao
  • and then it happens
  • before he knows it gyu is rubbing his “pussy” over the tub and showing him how “real games are played”
  • nibbling his ear, a surprisingly angry breathy whisper would exit gyu’s mouth: ‘if you want to act like a bitch, i’ll treat you like one’
  • rip hao’s ass because he wasn’t gonna get prepped that night
  • ‘I’ve kept this all to myself for so long, now. You’re gonna take this like a good boy, aren’t you?’
  • Before Hao can even answer, Daddy Mingyu was sloppily thrusting in his tight hole, biting, lapping and kissing anywhere he could                    
  • TLDR: Hao finds vengence in playing games with mingyu for being annoying all the time and they both can’t control themselves anymore

how gyuhao fuck

  • it all starts with the feminisation of minghao… that REALLY get’s gyu going
  • gyu would worship hao’s petite body adorned in babydoll’s and camisol dresses and lace and lipstick and makeup he loves it when hao get’s his nails done too
  • their favourite position is probably doggy style, initiated by hao spreading his ass cheeks, mingyu slamming right in, and rubbing hao’s “clit”
  • don’t forget nipple tugging
  • Either too much lube or too little lube there is no inbetween
  • The panties Hao would be wearing are usually stuffed in his mouth after he’s had a rough throat fucking both with mingyu’s thick cock or fingers
  • It’s so messy too
  • Cum is everywhere
  • Spit is everywhere
  • Lube is everywhere
  • Hao can’t help but whine through the lace
  • I take that back, Hao can’t help but cry and scream through the lace
  • I’m telling you mingyu puts his canines to good use, clouds of blue and purple litter across Minghao’s white skin everywhere
  • Nipple tape is often of use as well, after Mingyu has stripped Hao of his lingerie, he likes to rip the tape off too and hear Minghao yelp with sensitivity
  • Ngl Mingyu LOVES fucking Hao over a windowsill, showing the world his little slut
  • They often fuck in front of other members, just so Gyu can ‘prove a point’
  • Anyway, like, they finally admit their affection towards eachother somewhere along the line, but if you think Gyu is letting how Hao played games with him at the beginning go, you’re wrong
  • TLDR: They fuck like they’re angry and desperate
The signs as people I've experienced in college

Aries: that guy who yelled “well buttfuck me!” When the quadratic formula was mentioned in math class

Taurus: that one annoying girl who sits next to me and always has to comment after everything the professor says. Just shut the fuck up

Gemini: the guy who walks everywhere barefoot. He doesn’t fucking believe in shoes

Cancer: that one guy who yelled “kobe!” and tried to toss a paper ball into the trashcan and missed, only to try 5 more times and miss each time. He does this every class period, missing every. single. time.

Leo: the guy who looked me dead in the eye in the library and said “You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all this bullshit.” and left

Virgo: that one dude who always shares gum, mints, snacks, etc. with the people sitting around him

Libra: that weeb that naruto ran into the cafeteria, grabbed a Chik-fil-A sandwich, and naruto ran out only to be chased by one of the cafeteria staff because he didn’t pay

Scorpio: that beefy dude who called up one of his beefy friends to come and literally lift the snack machine and shake it to get his snack that got stuck

Sagittarius: that guy who fell down a flight of stairs, flipped off the staircase, and turned around only to realize I had witnessed the whole thing and dabbed

Capricorn: the girl who gave her boyfriend a bouncy ball in class only for him to slam it down (thinking it wouldn’t bounce?) and causing the ball to hit the ceiling, ricochet off the blade of the ceiling fan, only to smack the teacher in the side of the head

Aquarius: the guy in my psychology class who told his best friend sitting next to him that he had a “raging erection”

Pisces: that girl who was asleep on the floor in a full sleeping bag and a pillow

Popsicles And Kiwis


so this came from a small request about eating a popsicle and accidentally starting something that couldn’t be finished…….i went a bit overboard with it, but i hope u enjoy some smut! please let me know what u think :-) it rLY motivates me ! [feedback] [masterlist]


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The Signs as People I've Experienced In College

Aries: that guy who yelled “well buttfuck me!” When the quadratic formula was mentioned in math class

Taurus: that one annoying girl who sits next to me and always has to comment after everything the professor says. Just shut the fuck up

Gemini: the guy who walks everywhere barefoot. He doesn’t fucking believe in shoes

Cancer: that one guy who yelled “kobe!” and tried to toss a paper ball into the trashcan and missed, only to try 5 more times and miss each time. He does this every class period, missing every. single. time.

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Let's Pretend (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Pt. 2

A/N: I finally did it! I finished part 2. Thank y’all so much for all the feedback it means so much to me (‘: also, I put a little Easter egg in here. There’s another marvel character mentioned in here that surfs Let’sPretend, let’s see if y'all can find them. (; (also, tags are open too!)

Warnings: Smut, Pornography, graphic details of sex, swearing. Alcohol.

Bucky knew this was wrong on so many levels. What he was doing was a complete invasion of your privacy, he knew that, but he still found himself staring at the neon purple background of Let’sPretend.com. He was lying back on the mountains of pillows he owned, the laptop Steve got him for Christmas was perched on his lap, illuminating his half nude body with purple fluorescent light.

He felt guilty, but he found himself in some weird sexual awakening since he saw the picture of you spread out underneath him, legs spread like an invitation. Bucky found himself replaying the images over and over again in his mind. Most of all, he found himself thinking about your reaction to the video. He was trained to read people’s body language (which he swore he’d never do again) and it was a habit he tried to suppress.

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help but notice how your legs squeezed together as you sat on the stool. The way you subconsciously licked your lips at the sight of him topless. And the way your eyes dilated. Those were telltale signs you liked what you saw, even if you didn’t want to admit it, but that gave him no right to do what he was currently doing.

He started off by reading the comments underneath the video first. He expected some vulgar, repulsive words from creepy old men, which is what he usually saw on porn sites. But instead he was surprised with something he never expected. There were actual fans. And by fans, he meant there were a shit ton of people of all ages (legal of course) and not one vulgar comment. Most of them were about you and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him smile.


“I hope they do this in real life (;”

“She’s so friggin’ lucky! I want a Bucky!! )’:”

“I’d give my left arm to be in a WinterY/N sandwich. Kms.”

“Jesus that man is sexi AF. *faints*”

“WinterY/N 4ever! ^_^”

He ended up clicking onto the next page, where he was met with more comments by fans. Some were on the creepy side, others were quite flattering, and some were just plain adorable. These people didn’t see him as a monster or a freak like most did. They saw him as desirable, which he truly thought would never happen again. What caught him off guard the most was the undying fascination with his metal arm. It took up almost a third of the comments.

At some point, he found himself on your videos.
There were at least a hundred in total. They ranged from solo shots, to something called “girl on girl”, which confused him at first, but the second he curiously clicked on the video and saw you and Wanda making out violently, he instantly understood. You had videos with almost everyone in the tower.

There were ones of you and Steve, which he may or may not have bookmarked to uh…save for later. There were ones of you and Nat, some of you and Sam (he’s never cringed so hard in his life) which nearly made him break the screen. He found it deeply disturbing that some people actually liked the videos of you and Tony. He was like an uncle to you. Bucky completely stayed away from the ones with you and Vision. Those would probably give him nightmares.

However, he still found that people liked the two of you together the most regardless. They had a special name for you, too. Princess Y/N, they called you. He was known as simply the Winter Soldier, which did disappoint him a bit. He discovered the term “shipping” and something called “one true pair” that the people on the site talked about. He’d never admit it out loud, but he felt a sense of pride that these people favored him out of all the others when it came to you.

With a deep breath, he clicked on the play button.

The camera immediately cut to Y/N on the same bed from before. Her pastel colored camisole was practically see through, just enough to show the audience the outline of her breasts. She let out a playful giggle as she raised her leg in the air, giving the camera a view of her barely clothed core. Bucky felt arousal hit him like a train when he spotted a small dampened area on her panties. As if on cue, she started singing lowly. Jesus, she even sounded like the real Y/N.

“Happy birthday to me…” she sung, while slowly teasing her nipple with her fingers.

“Happy birthday to me…“ Bucky felt his erection growing harder with each word. His eyes followed her hand as it trailed past her stomach and rested on her clothed core.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N,” she let out a whimper when she began slowly tracing her clit through her panties. Any self control Bucky once had, had jumped out the window. In a second, he slipped off his boxers and gripped his aching member with his flesh hand and began pumping slowly.

“You’re starting without me, doll?”

The deep voice caused a shiver down Bucky’s spine, forcing him to stop pumping his cock. The camera suddenly turned to a fully clothed Winter Soldier I’m the doorway of the room, his blue eyes staring Y/N in an animalistic way. He stalked over to the bed and towered over her.

“Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. What is rule number one?” he asks, gripping her legs and yanking her to the edge of the bed. A playful giggle came from her mouth, and God, Bucky found it the hottest thing on this earth.

She smiled up at the Winter Soldier through her long lashes. “Rule number one,” she says. “This pussy belongs to The Winter Soldier.”

He slipped his metal hand down one of her thighs and gave the flesh there a little smack, a moan escaped her trembling lips.

“Looks like you broke the rules, sugar,” he says huskily. “And you know what that means?”

“I need to be punished!” She replied, licking her lips and winking at the camera.

In a flash, he flipped her onto her stomach, her legs dangling off the bed so the camera had a perfect view of that her ass. In one swift motion, he took his mask off, revealing an identical face that belonged to Bucky Barnes himself.

It was by far the most erotic thing Bucky’s ever seen and despite his conscious screaming at him to shut off his computer and bathe in holy water, he found himself harder than he’s ever been in his life. It wasn’t even five minutes and his swollen member was leaking precum all over his thighs. He was definitely going to hell. But if this is what he’ll was like, then he’d gladly go willingly.

The Winter Soldier gently placed the black mask onto her face, and she made a sound somewhere in between a whimper and a groan. Her hands were pulled behind her back and held there by his metal hand while he pulled out a pair of metal handcuffs. With a sublet click, the metal was around her wrists, binding them together.

He let out an amused chuckle at the sight before him. Y/N pushed her ass against his clothed groin in a poor attempt at getting some friction. She peered over her shoulder at him and tried to speak, but the only sounds that escaped were nothing but muffles from the mask. Bucky groaned at the sight of her wearing his mask. He’d never be able to see it the same and NOT get a raging erection.

Her eyes widened with joy when he finally began unbuttoning his black pants and slid them down his toned thighs. Her thighs trembled with anticipation as he gripped his swollen cock and slowly pumped it with his metal hand, going as far as teasing her clothed entrance with the tip. Her head plopped into the pillows in front of her.

“Rule number two,” he says to the camera with a smirk. “Good things come to sluts who wait.”

In one move, he pulled her panties to the side, ripping the material away and thrust inside her. Y/N cried out in pleasure through the mask, pushing her hips back with each thrust.

“Oh fuck, baby. You like that?” He asks through gritted teeth. She whimpers a reply and nods, her eyes wild with pleasure. The only thing that’s audible is the dirty sounds of skin against skin, along with the Winter Soldier’s grunts.

Bucky was hypnotized by the way his cock glides in and out of her hole, glistening with her juices. He pumps himself faster, groaning loudly when he hears her muffled cries. He was enchanted by the way her moans grew louder with each thrust. He tried to imagine what she’d feel like. The tightness of her walls around him as he hits that special place inside her. Would she whimper like in the video? Or was she a screamer? He prays that she’s the latter.

Suddenly, she’s flipped onto her back again. Her little party hat dangled to the side dangling almost completely off her head. The Winter Soldier smiled down at her sinisterly before pulling out of her and pressing the tip against her pussy.

“Does Princess Y/N want her gift here?” He asks, teasing his tip against her folds. “Or here?” He pulls away and pressed his cock against the puckered ring of muscle of her ass. Bucky lets out a string of curses at the sight of her glistening holes. With a small whimper, she pressed her ass against his cock; all while staring up at him with the most innocent smile.

The sound she made as he thrust into her nearly pushed Bucky over the edge. His hips bucked into his fist, precum spilling from his tip and onto his toned stomach. No matter how good it felt, he knew deep down inside that it was nowhere near as good as the real Y/N.

Finally, the Winter Soldier removed the mask from her face. The camera zoomed in on her swollen red lips. “Oh, daddy, I’m gonna come!” She moaned. He placed his hands on the inside of her thighs and pinned them down into the mattress, the angle allowed him to thrust deeper inside her, making her scream out in pure euphoria.

“You like how Daddy fucks you, doll?” He grunts. His thrusts are stuttering against her hips and Bucky can tell he’s getting closer. She slips one of her hands between them and shakily began rubbing her clit in circles.

It doesn’t take long before she became a complete mess, her entire body trembling from the intense orgasm that was near. Her eyes are set on his blue ones as he drilled into her. She chanted his name like a prayer and Bucky wished he could make the real Y/N do the same.

Bucky’s metal hand cupped his balls and began massaging and tugging them in time with his flesh hand. The sensations created a sweet pleasure that made his eyes roll back. He’s sweating everywhere, but he doesn’t give a single damn. He’s so close, so fucking close and by the sounds of it so was she.


It was past midnight when you finally left Wanda’s room. No matter how much you drank, you couldn’t escape the embarrassing events that had occurred to you earlier that day. Wanda, however, had managed to go far beyond her limit. You giggled drunkenly at the memory of the woman passed out in her bedroom, the empty bottle of alcohol still in her hand.

You were way past tipsy, but still able to walk. Somehow you had made it down the long corridors without passing out or running into anything, which is what usually happened when you drank.

You were almost to your room when you heard a strangled cry. It wasn’t super loud, but enough to penetrate through a door. Following the direction it came from, you heard another, followed by a string of profanities. Whoever it was, they sounded like they were in pain. Your drunken mind tried it’s best to register this situation clearly. Who was even awake at this hour?

That’s how you ended up outside of Bucky’s room. You were positive the cries were coming from there. You knew about his nightmares, everyone did. They occurred almost every night and Steve had advised everyone to just ignore them and give Bucky his space. And everyone did just that. Nobody ever bothered him about it.

But these didn’t sound like typical night terrors. They sounded like something else completely. What if he was in trouble? Or dying? You couldn’t live with yourself if that were the case. With a turn of the doorknob, you peeked your head in and whispered his name softly; hoping it was just another bad dream.

You expected a lot of things. You expected Bucky to be in bed, thrashing around violently as he fought back against the imaginary foe in his dreams. You expected him to be shouting pleas of mercy or even Steve’s name. You even expected to be thrown out as soon as he woke up.

Bucky wasn’t in trouble at all. In fact, it looked like he was having a really good time.

The room was pitch black except for the purple glow of his laptop that was on his bed. He was lying back, the sheets pushed off the bed completely. He was nude with the exception of his black boxers that were pushed down to his knees as he furiously pumped his large cock with his flesh hand. Your eyes widened at the sight of it. You were no virgin and you’d seen your share of the male anatomy, but Bucky Barnes was big.

The tip was an angry red and you felt your mouth watering each time he ran his thumb over the head, collecting precum. His metal hand was massaging his balls, tugging on them gently. The groans he let out made the wetness between your legs grow. He had no shame either. He sounded just like the man in the video.

You curiously glanced at the porn video that was on the laptop and instantly filled with shock. The cries weren’t coming from Bucky, but from…you. He was watching the vid from earlier. And by the looks of it, he was enjoying it.

“Y/N!” He gasped, pumping himself faster. Hearing your name fall from his lips awoken something in you. You were practically dripping in your jeans and you contemplated whether on not to touch yourself right there.

Suddenly, the fake Y/N let out a scream of pleasure and you watched as the fake Bucky emptied himself inside of her with a loud groan.

“Ah, Y/N!” Bucky shouted as he came, coating his fist in his come. Your heart hammered in your chest as you watched.

Your first instinct was to run, so that’s what you did. You initially planned to close the door quietly and run to your room, but the alcohol in your system made that hard for you. Instead of closing the door quietly like you planned, you slammed the it shut. Creating a big echo that traveled down the corridors.

To make it worse, the sleeve to your hoodie got caught on the handle from the inside.

You desperately tried to yank it free, but ended up making the door slam against the wall loudly instead. Anxiety filled your body as you heard the sounds of drawers opening and closing from inside the room. No matter how hard you pulled or tugged, it just created more noise.

Suddenly, you heard the door open and you flew back from the force, landing on your ass with a thud.

Above you, stood a sweaty and fully clothed Bucky Barnes in the doorway.

You were so dead.

Tag list:

boyfriend namjoon

omg gUYS i had this moment of inspiration when i was cuddling my pillow!! and obviously it’s this post. 

  • he would be so fluffy and cute sometimes that you’d literally had to ask him to stop

Originally posted by chimneytaels

  • he’d also be really caring and protective. after every call or facetime session because he’s on tour, he’d end it off with, “i love you baby, take care and rest well!” and a smile before sending you a flying kiss.
  • oh! oh! oh! and when he’s finally home from tour and united with you once again, you won’t have a single moment alone. (not that you want time alone anyway) he’ll be all over you.
  • and when ya’ll have to separate, he’d always hug you, engulfing you into his strong, warm, comfortable and big arms. he’d always kiss your head as you bury your head into his chest. 
  • then he’ll probably pick you up and finally kiss you.
  • not the normal, chaste kiss, no way.
  • he’d go all out.
  • tongue, teeth hitting teeth (since he’s such a careless guy), lip biting, passion, lust and love.
  • you name it, its there.
  • after such an intense make-out session, he would let you go and wave innocently while smiling, like all that hot shit never happened.

Originally posted by keepingupwithbts

  • and don’t get me started when he’s horny my friend.
  • he will show zERO shame and will not hide his raging erection. 
  • he would give you that look
  • that, “i’m suffering” look

Originally posted by ksjknj

  • he’ll start by sitting next to you, knees touching slightly and talk to you casually.
  • as he talks, he’ll rub circles around your thighs and slowly run his hands up and down them.
  • which will lead to him slowly dipping his hands into your shorts.
  • if he hasn’t gotten your attention by then, he’ll backhug you
  • he’ll make sure you feel his dick, his painfully hard dick press against that ass.
  • of course you couldn’t say no to sex. it was a very pleasurable thing to have with namjoon.
  • he has you wrapped around his finger. 
  • he’ll never get tired of you moaning “daddy” over and over again oh so deliciously. 
  • he’ll sit you on his lap, your clothed core pressing against his member.

Originally posted by civilkitten

  • he calls you princess 24/7
  • treats you like one too
  • namjoon’s very dominant. he gives off that vibe
  • so he’ll show no mercy.
  • “do you think its very fun to tease daddy like that by wearing such a tight short?”
  • “daddy’s going to punish his little princess for teasing.”

Originally posted by thedesire

  • he’ll kiss your neck
  • he’ll kiss your nipples, he’ll swirl his tongue around it, like he’s eating a lollipop.
  • he’ll kiss your stomach
  • he’ll kiss everywhere but where you want him to
  • “its only fair that daddy gets to tease his princess until he’s done.”
  • after ages of teasing and rubbing his clothed member on yours, he’ll rip your panties off without warning.
  • its only a matter of time before all your clothes are off, leaving you vulnerable.
  • i swear he could fuck you doggy style all day long.
  • but like we all know, he’s a careless guy.
  • at one point, his dick would slide all the way out of you 
  • he’d get so embarrassed omg
  • a giggle would come out, followed by a shy smile.

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

  • sometimes, he’d want those pretty pink lips of yours to suck him off
  • “on your knees princess.”

Originally posted by forever-young-got7

  • but at the end of the day, both of you would be tired after the activities.
  • he would always still be the caring boyfriend that he is. though.
  • he’ll probably ask if you’re okay, that if what he did was too rough.
  • he’ll massage you, run a bath for you, treat you like a real princess.

Originally posted by pleasingpics

  • if you were dead tired by then, he’d always cuddle you to sleep. always. 
  • never would you want to lose him.
  • whispers of “i love you so much.” would send you off to sleep.
  • you can always be yourself around him.
  • he’ll never judge you.
  • nor would you judge him.
Lookin’ for a Date?

Double J Productions (aka myself and Julie, @cocohook38) wanted to do something special for you, so we collabed on your birthday gift, which includes a smutty ficlet and accompanying art. I just needed to see Deputy Jones with the badge, and this idea came to mind. I hope you love it just as much as we love you! And also thanks to our Mulan, @shipsxahoy, for betaing as well. WE LOVE YOU KAIT!!! 

Deputy Killian Jones turned the corner onto Main Street in his vintage black Firebird just as the sun was setting over the horizon. It had been a few years since he had taken up the position and he was taking to it like the Jolly Roger in smooth waters. He never imagined working with his best mate (and father-in-law) would be easy—after all, Killian did murder David’s father in cold blood. But, David understood that Killian was no longer that man anymore, and forgave him, much to Killian’s surprise.

Killian was cruising down the street, listening to Christina Perri over the radio, when a flash of gold blinded him momentarily. When his eyesight adjusted, Killian looked towards the source of the light, which was right in front of Grann’s. He soon realized that the setting sun’s rays were reflecting off of a necklace, and the jewelry was being worn by the most captivating woman he had ever seen in his over 300 year existence.

Her flaxen hair was piled high on her head, with tiny tendrils falling from her temple, framing her face. Her hair being up exposed her long, graceful neck. She wore minimal makeup, but she didn’t need it, her face one of classic beauty. He could see her emerald-green eyes from down the street; they were like two jewels gleaming in twilight. Her toned arms and sculpted legs were on full display in a tiny red sheath dress that looked as if it had been painted on her. And the red peek-a-boo sandal heels on her feet gave her backside extra perkiness.

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The Cool Kids (TG/AP)

I had always wanted to be friends with the upperclassmen in school. I mean, who didn’t? They always seemed so cool; talking back to teachers, smoking cigs during recess, and sometimes ditching class entirely. But the one time I tried to talk to them they all just made fun of how young I was. After that, I tried to avoid them and keep my head down, but I always envied them. One day I accidentally walked into the detention room where they were all hanging out. Embarrassed, I looked around for a teacher to ask for directions to the classroom I was supposed to be in, but there were no teachers in the room. I was about to turn and leave, but one of the boys walked up behind me and blocked the door.

              “Hey, where you going little guy? Don’t you want to hang out with us?” he asked me with a smirk.

              “Um, sure, I guess…but I should really get to class soon,” I said nervously.

              “Hey, this little guy seems pretty nervous. Let’s try giving him the ‘water’,” he said to another boy with a wink. I saw one of them pull an unmarked bottle out of his backpack and walk over to me. He asked if I was thirsty, but before I could respond he began to pour the contents of the bottle over my head. They all started laughing and I tried to wipe the water out of my eyes. I wanted to cry, but as I rubbed my face I began to notice how long my hair seemed. My parents normally took me to get a haircut every two weeks, but for some reason I felt my hair tickling my neck. I looked up at the upperclassmen towering over me and was about to ask what was in the bottle, but a sudden pressure began to build in my legs and I shot up nearly a foot in height. In a matter of seconds I was almost eye level with the boys, but the sudden growth spurt made me a little disoriented. I looked around at the boys and noticed that they had stopped laughing. Instead, they were simply staring at me with grins of excitement growing on their faces. I was beginning to get nervous, but before I could run and find help I felt my bones beginning to grow again. My body felt like putty as my frame grew outwards. I heard my shoulders crack as they widened, and at the same time I felt the joints in my arms and hands pop as they grew long and feminine. A final loud crack could be heard as my hips shot outwards, and as I stumbled around the room in a panic I noticed how much more my new hips swayed with each step. I had never paid much attention to the older girls in school since they were always just talking about boys, makeup, and other lame stuff, but I could tell that I was beginning to look like one of them. I wanted to scream at the thought of becoming an icky girl, but as I exhaled all that came out was a girly sounding moan.

              “Oh man, he sounds like he’s gonna be a sexy one,” I heard one of the boys say. I wanted to slap him, but before I could turn around I felt a tingling sensation coming from my chest. I looked down at my soaked shirt and saw that my nipples were growing bigger. Not only were they growing bigger, but it looked like they were beginning to poke out of my white shirt too. I reached up to cover them from the boys’ staring, but as I touched one I felt something really good course through my body. I touched them again, pinching them a little this time and let out another moan. I had never felt anything like this before, but I immediately wanted more. As I pinched my nipples and continued to moan, I felt my chest beginning to push out into my hands. Pretty soon I was cupping two boobs in my hands, and as much as I wanted to fight these changes, I couldn’t help but indulge in the pleasurable effects of my changing body. I gave each boob a squeeze and felt more tingles of pleasure run through my body, causing me to giggle and moan. A warm sensation began to come from my belly, and I looked down past my new boobs just in time to see a layer of muscle form at my midriff. My shirt was already too small for my growing body, but it seemed to expose my midriff perfectly for all the drooling boys. My abs tensed as I felt myself grow fit, and soon that tension traveled to my butt.

              I felt my leg muscles tense as my butt cheeks began to inflate. My pants, already tight from my growth spurt, began to tear and reveal a smooth, peach shaped butt. I looked at my new behind and reluctantly began to admire it. I could feel my thoughts beginning to change. I was becoming stupid and girly and self-centered, but before I could fight it I felt a wave of pleasure explode from my groin. I tried to keep in another moan, but couldn’t hold it in as my member began to change. It felt like a vacuum in my abdomen was sucking my manhood up, but as it retracted between my legs it left some weird looking lips in my crotch. I looked at the new gap in my crotch, utterly confused by it, but also curious. I felt a dampness beginning to build in my crotch and suddenly felt the need to touch it. I rubbed a finger against it and recoiled from the sudden jolt of pleasure. I squealed, causing all the boys to laugh as they watched me struggle to figure out my new body. It all felt wrong, this wasn’t my body, but as I touched my crotch again I felt a sensation that was so pleasurable I almost forgot I was a boy. I felt my insides shift and settle as I became a girl completely. I still wanted to run and tell someone what these boys had done to me, but I couldn’t fight the new urges I was feeling. I wanted to slip two fingers between my legs, and though I tried to fight it, I soon found my hand slipping two digits between my new sex. It was unreal. I moved my hand back and forth, listening to a wet schlicking sound as I went.

Pleasure began to build in my mind, and I felt a tugging in the back of my mind to come back to reality, but this felt too good. With each motion I felt new knowledge enter my head. I knew how to pleasure myself, I knew what a blowjob was and how to give a good one, and I knew the boys wanted me. I didn’t want to know any of this, but it all just came with the pleasure I was feeling. I moved my hand faster and faster as I began to remember smaller things, like shaving my legs and buying tampons. I shook my head and moaned in a mixture of pleasure and reluctance. I wanted to escape, but I was so close to a pleasure I’d never felt before and wanted to feel so badly. With one last slide of my hand, I screamed and felt my first orgasm wash over me. It was euphoric. My pussy throbbed as I came, dripping with juice and filling the room with the stench of sex. As I reveled in the afterglow, I felt a flood of hormones course through my body. I felt the desire to play video games fade away. I felt memories of my friends become memories of hanging out with the popular girls in school. I felt the need for a man to ravish me. I turned around and stared at the boys, smirking and sizing them up. They all had raging erections showing through their pants, but some of them were clearly more hung than others. I pointed to one and curled a finger at him, signaling him over to me. He smiled and undid his belt. I unbuttoned my shirt a bit and tied the loose ends together, pushing my breasts forward and showing my new cleavage off. I grabbed the bottle of water he was holding and began to pour it all over my breasts. I moaned again as they grew one size larger. I turned around and began to swing my hips back and forth, giving all the boys a sexy little show. As the boy thrust his dick between my tight little pussy, I smiled and whispered into his ear:

              “My name’s Robin, and I’m your new obsession.” I felt even more turned on by the fact that we were about to fuck in front of all the boys. My pussy ached for attention, and thankfully my little boy-toy was more than happy to oblige. I smiled and let my eyes roll into my head in pleasure as his cock thrust in and out of me. I owned these upperclassmen now. The only thing I wanted now…was to try anal.

Oh Captain! // Steve Rogers x Reader (P1)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x POC Reader, Nat x Bucky (WinterWidow)
Word Count: 2k+
Warning: Language, Fluff, Smut, ‘Captain’ kink. This is a bit of a slow burn. I’m not sorry. 

Summary: How is Steve supposed to resist you when you call him Captain like that? How is anyone supposed to resist those god-forsakenly beautiful thighs? Naturally you both have to fuck it out; your only choice really. WinterWidow makes a brief appearance. Bonus: Tony Stark’s seal of approval.

A/N: Idk why my fics keep starting in the gym, maybe it’s a sneaky way of telling myself I need to work out more. Lmao, ignore me. I’m so sorry. This was supposed to me a short 500 or so word one shot but I’m a goddamn wordy ass ho with no self-control and a shitty understanding of the word ‘short’. Happy New Year everyone 

Originally posted by imultifandomstuff


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What Are You Doing? (M)

Requested by anonymous

Today you had a girl’s day. You went shopping, to the spa, then got your nails and toes done. Today was a relaxation day that was very much needed. Kihyun had practice today so you figure why not? One of your girls dropped you off and after saying your goodbyes you finally head up to your apartment. Kihyun should be home by now, you think to yourself. Walking through the door you see his shoes by the door and smile to yourself glad that your assumption was right. You had fun today but nothing beats spending time with the love of your life.

“Kihyun!” You call out. No response. The further you go into the apartment the more you can hear what sounds like a shower running. Not even thinking you walk right in to let him know you’re home, but what you didn’t expect was for Kihyun to be sitting on the toilet touching himself to some video. He was so immersed in what he was doing he hadn’t even realized you walked in. You could tell he was close because his hips were starting to buck and he was squeezing his eyes. You didn’t want him to cum now though so you speak up, “What are you doing, Kihyun?” You ask tilting your head.

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Giving and Taking (M) // Kim Yugyeom

Originally posted by kimyuygeom

Pairing: Yugyeom x Reader

Genre: Smut

Summary//Request: Yugyeom see’s how stressed you’ve been recently, so he decides to buy you a gift and gives you a massage to help you relax - so you give him something in return ;)

A/N: Please note that this scenario is rated M for mature as it contains smut, daddy/kitten kink, dirty talking, erotic massages and blowjobs (oh my god what have I done)

Also! This is 2 scenario requests joined together as they were both similar Yugyeom smuts ^^ I hope you enjoy!

“Yugyeom…” you whispered quietly upon your boyfriend presenting you with what he had described as a ‘present’ after you had arrived home from a long day of being incredibly worked up and stressed out from studying.

He cracked a tentative side smile, trying to maintain his confidence he’d built up as he watched you palm inside the small, pink box he offered to you. “I know you’ve been so stressed recently, so I thought about something fun we could do so you could wind down, hmm?” he cocked his head, looking at your eyes feast over the items he had bought for you. You had absolutely no idea that your boyfriend even thought about these things before – and it was turning you on a great deal.

Inside the box, you found the most adorable set of black, clip on kitten ears that had little bells attached to them with soft pink fabric on the inside. The faux fur was soft, delicate and smelled like sweet perfume. The box also contained a little black collar, complete with “Kitten” etched on the front from a dangling tag. What surprised you the most however, was the tiny little tail that was at the bottom of the box to match the ears with a small clip at the top –  all making you shiver with nervousness and excitement.

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lola381pce  asked:

Imagine Clint’s an award winning architect/period property renovations expert who has everything, except his GED & someone to share his life; Phil is a well-renowned history professor who volunteers his time at the local community college, and happens to be single. When Clint decides to get his certificate and finds Phil is teaching his course he really hopes he’ll get both.

“Excuse me, but that’s wrong.” a slightly gruff voice from the back of the room spoke up interrupting the lecture.

“What do you mean ‘it’s wrong’?” the guest lecturer barked.

“Well, that’s not an Antebellum home.” The man in the back of the room sat up a little straighter, obviously ready to argue his point.

Phil, the usual history teacher for the college’s GED program looked up recognizing the voice of the man as Barton, not that Phil could pick his voice out of a crowd of people. He didn’t sit on the edge of his desk every class hoping to hear that gruff bark like sandpaper that rubbed him in all the right places, that would be unprofessional. Barton was usually quiet in class, much to Phil’s disappointment. Getting good grades, but not really participating. He was in his early 40’s and Phil had wondered why it had taken the construction worker so long to get his GED. Phil assumed he’d been passed over for a promotion one too many times, prompting him finally.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” John Garrett’s voice went from an attempt at culture to a downright menacing. “Boone Hall Plantation in South Carolina is the epitome of an Antebellum estate.”

“You’re right,” Barton replied.

Garrett blinked his eyes in surprise at the easy capitulation. “Damn right I’m right,” he said, turning his back to Barton to continue his lecture.

“The estate is Antebellum, but the house isn’t. It’s a Colonial Revival,” Clint replied. Phil could detect the humor in his voice as he baited Garrett.

And it worked. Garrett swiveled angrily. “What the hell would you know? You’re just some ignorant hick who doesn’t even have his GED yet. Do you know who I am? I’ve got three degrees in history and architecture and my firm is consistently one of the finalists in the American Institute of Architects gold medal awards and have been up for the Restoration Industry Association Phoenix award twice in the past five years.”

Phil stood sharply. “John!” Absolutely mortified at how is associate just treated not just Barton, but a whole room full of people trying hard to better themselves.

Before he could say anything, Clint just chuckled and nodded. “I know who you are, besides the fact that you did all that bragging when you introduced yourself. Still doesn’t change the fact that you’ve got your slides mislabeled. The original house was rebuilt in 1936 in the Colonial Revival design.”

Garrett was red in the face as he blustered, “How could you possible know that?”

“Um… Professor Coulson?” another voice in the classroom spoke up.

Phil, glad to try and take back the class from Garrett. “Yes Miss Monroe?”

“Clint’s right. I just did a quick Google search and came up with the same answer; Colonial Restoration.”

Phil turned to Garrett with a smile, hoping to defuse the volatile man. “See, just a mislabeling. Clint works construction so he’s probably read up on restoration.” Phil turned his eyes to Clint for confirmation.

Clint smiled back at Phil and wow were those eyes gorgeous. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Phil nodded and stammered a bit under Clint’s full smile. “Good, uh, good. See John.” Phil’s tone became pleading, hoping that this wouldn’t become more out of hand.

But Garrett wasn’t having any of it. “Well if he’s so smart, why doesn’t he teach the rest of the class? I’m leaving.” John threw his things back into his briefcase and tried to storm out of the classroom.

“Wait! There’s more!” exclaimed Oro Monroe from behind her laptop screen. “It says here that Boone Hall is about to undergo restoration of their Gin Mill which had been set up as a restaurant and guest house in the 50’s, but was badly damaged in Hurricane Hugo.”

“I know that!” John shouted. “My firm was up for the project, but we got underbid again by that damned crook of a woman at Hawkeye Restoration. Everybody knows she’s got some sort of Russian mafia ties.”

Phil heard a distinct growl coming from Clint and was bewildered by his reaction.

Oro looked puzzled. “But it says here that Hawkeye Restoration is owned by Clinton F. Barton. Isn’t that you Clint?”

The entire room swiveled to Clint, who was slightly flushed with embarrassment now and Phil couldn’t help but find the man even more attractive.

Clint scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “Yeah, Clinton… that name didn’t do me any favors at the orphanage.”

Garrett looked like he was going to explode. “That’s impossible! That Russian owns it! She may be a crook, but she’s got the degrees to back up the business. Not some idiot without an education.”

“Enough!” Phil didn’t shout, but he’d used his best angry ‘Professor’ tone and even John settled down. “That’s twice you disparaged not only Clint but every one of my students with remarks like that. No matter what their circumstances that caused them not to graduate high school or those who are foreign students like Miss Monroe, they are here now and they are intelligent people who will get their GEDs and go on to bigger and better things. Evidently even outbidding you.”

Clint’s mouth was hanging open from when he’d started to rebuke the idiot Garrett and it stayed open in shock as the quiet, sexy history professor jumped to his and the other’s defense. Clint had sat in the back of the class because he’d been afraid after the first five minutes of meeting Professor Coulson that he’d see the raging erection he carried every time they met.

“Uh, thanks.”

Phil flushed, embarrassed by his outburst. “It’s true. But if you’re the owner of such a prestigious firm, why are you here?”

Clint shrugged. “Started working construction when I was 16. Well, really it was an apprenticeship with a master woodworker, but I learned everything from the studs up. The orphanage didn’t really notice when I stopped going to classes. From there, I just worked hard. When I was in my late twenties, I bought the business out from the master craftsman. My friend Natasha,” Clint glared at Garrett, “who has a business degree from Wharton and was tired of making money for other people came in with me and she handled all the contracts and bids. She’s smart and well put together. Better her be the face of the company than me.” Clint looked straight at Phil. “I just work well with my hands.”

Phil had to swallow hard. “I bet you do.”

“Well now that I know all the details, I’ll be sure to discredit you in the community. Trying to pull a fast one on the rest of us who went to school.” John tried to loom over Clint as he sat in his chair.

Clint just smiled. “You’re just sore I won those awards that you didn’t get.”

“Illegally! You cheated.”

“Don’t say anywhere that I have to have a degree, just our architect and he does. Sam’s got two or three of them. He draws up the plans and I execute them. Natasha handles the front end and everybody is happy. Sides’ least I know what the difference between Antebellum and Colonial Restoration is. Even if I am uneducated.” Clint smirked at John.

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyers,” John growled as he stormed out of the lecture hall.

Clint shrugged and turned his attention to Phil.

Phil blinked a few times, still trying to process everything. “Well class, that seems to leave us without a lecturer.”

“What about Clint?” Oro suggested.

Phil turned to Clint, “How about it, Mr. Barton? Can a small time college manage a speaking fee from the owner of one of the country’s best restoration firms?”

Clint smiled and made his way to the front of the class, pausing to whisper in Phil’s ear, “On one condition, my speaking fee is getting to take you out to dinner.”

Phil blushed slightly, his glasses slipping down his nose as he turned to quietly answer, “I think I can afford that. In fact, I’m really looking forward to seeing how well you work with your hands.”

by @emyrldlady

Arms and the Man

Category: Weasley Family Functions
Rated M

This is a little fun that was inspired by a certain gif…hope you enjoy! Especially for @callieskye @jenn582 @thefinalhorcruxx and @rupelover

“No, really, Hermione, you are absolutely glowing!”

“Ugh…I appreciate the compliment, Audrey, but I certainly don’t feel like it most of the time.”

“It ‘ez true, ze first months are ‘ard, but you should be done with ze morning sickness soon, then it will be time for the more enjoyable ‘ormones.”

At that, all of the Weasley brides snickered. They were lounging outside at the Burrow while their husbands and a growing band of little witches and wizards were playing aurors and dark wizards near the pond.

“Merlin help us all if that’s the case…those two are already like kneazels in heat! I think Harry and I have seen their naked arses more than our own over the years! You think they’d eventually learn how to lock a flue!”

“Ginny! I can’t believe you’d say that!”

“Notice how she’s not denying it.”

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bedding (part 6)

Title: Guard’s cuffs

Part List

Warnings: smut, swearing

unedited bc im tired


Dan decided with himself that he would tease you the rest of the week following up to your birthday. It was constant hands far up your inner thigh at the dinner table in front of loads of your staff, kisses behind people’s backs, and pulling you down empty corridors to trap you between him and a wall, pressing his lips as far down your neck and chest as the dress you were wearing that day would let him.

You were sexually frustrated to say in the least.

Finally, it was the day of your birthday. You were to sit in the throne room next to Daniel as you did everyday, except instead of answering the kingdom’s requests and concerns from eight in the morning to six at night (with an hour and a half break between), the people gave you birthday wishes for the first hour, and you only had to listen to requests and concerns for the next hour. In other words, you got to leave the throne room at ten a.m. and have the rest of the day to yourself, if you choose to. So at ten a.m. you bid Daniel a goodbye, and head to the sewing room.

You hadn’t been in the sewing room for years, but you wanted to get back at Dan for what he had been doing to you for the past almost week. You found the prettiest material you could find, some expensive looking silk and some pretty lace, and you started to sew yourself new underwear. At noon, you still had not finished, so you hid your work and rushed down to the dining hall where you knew Daniel would be waiting for you for lunch. You sat down next to him as the waiters began to bring out your meal and before he could do it himself to you, you let your hand wander to his crotch. You felt his whole body stiffen as soup was set in front of you. You pushed down a bit on his trousers and rubbed him through them before taking your hand away, eating your soup quickly, and heading back to the sewing room without another word. It was half past noon by the time you got back to the room filled with cloth, needles, and thread, but you didn’t worry that Daniel had an hour extra for a break. He didn’t know where this room was, let alone that you were interested in sewing. It took you another two hours to complete the silk and lace undergarments and you were proud of them. You thought they looked quite nice.

You then decided with your spare time to make and easy to remove dress to wear over the new garments. The simple silk and lace dress matched your previous creation and took you three and a half hours. By the time you looked out the window to check the sundial, it was six and you rushed back to your room, changing into the garments and dress and sitting on the bed waiting for Dan to arrive. Only a few moments later Dan burst into the room. As soon as he enters, he begins taking off his jacket and undershirt.

“Y/N Howell! What was that at noon! I demand to kn-” He stops, turning towards you to see the awfully short silk and lace dress.

“Wha-” Dan starts.

“Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been teasing me, Daniel.” You say to him, turning to face the end of the bed on your stomach, feet up behind you.

“I have no-”

“Oh you have, and I’ve love every bit of it, but I couldn’t handle it today, I was in the middle of doing something before I left for meal.” You interrupt.

“Was the thing you were doing, this lovely dress?” He asks, a smirk appearing instantly on his lips.

“And… Something else.” You mumble, resting your chin on your palm with your elbow rested on the bed.

“And what was that?” Dan asks, stepping closer. You sit up so you were now kneeling on the bed. Your face was to the same height as Dan’s due to the raise of the bed. Your faces were only inches apart. You back away a bit.

“This.” You say, pulling the dress off to reveal the black silk red laced garments you had spent so much time on.

“Oh fuck.” Dan breaths, “We will have to skip dinner.” He says, backing away and heading to the wardrobe.

“I’ve got your present in here. Not the proper one from this morning, but a more private one.” He says, turning around with a pair of guard cuffs swinging side to side from his pointing finger.

“Where did you get those?” You ask, trying to distract yourself from how wet the thought of Dan using the cuffs on you made you. Then the thought of you using them on him made you even wetter.

“Swiped them from a guard. Thought you may like them.” He tells you, getting close to you again. He was quickly only an inch away from you kneeling tall on the bed. He drops the metal object on the bed next to you and grabs your waist, smashing his lips against yours. The kiss alone showed how turned on he was. You push the shirt off of him completely before grabbing his face and pulling it closer to yours, if it was even possible. His hands travel from your waist to your hips, your traveling down as well. One hand lands on the cuffs beside you whilst the other lands down Dan’s pants and pressing against his hardening cock. He moans into the kiss, beginning to kiss you harder. You move your hand from his pants and pull his hands in front of him, quickly moving the cuffs to lock around his wrists. You pull away.

“I hope you have the key.” You whisper before standing up, twisting the two of you and pushing Dan onto the bed. His head rests near the pillows. You crawl up the bed an straddle his waist. You feel his erection through his pants and moan, grinding against it. Dan moans at this, causing you to look up at him. Lust and love were shining in his eyes, it was easy to tell. You grind into him again, just wanting to hear his moans again. He lets out a long, strangled moan which causes you to moan as well. You tug his trousers down and look down to see the restricted tent now much larger. You grind onto him again, Dan feeling your soaking core through your underwear. You push his still restrained arms above his head and lean down, kissing him hard. One hand tangles in his hair, tugging at it while the other travels down his torso and into his underwear. You start to pump him, running your thumb over his head which causes him to moan into the kiss.

Your mouth travels down his neck and chest, occasionally you leave hickeys. Once you get to his underwear, you pull them off, down his legs and onto the floor. You lick the precum from the tip of his cock. Dan moans again, loudly before saying.

“I swear to god, y/n I’m going to be pissed if you suck me off. I can’t last much longer and It’s your birthday. I don’t think I can do two rounds.” He makes intense eye contact with you, but you ignore him, smirking and licking from his balls to his head. He lets out a loud moan before you take him in your mouth, letting him hit the back of our throat and go down a bit.

“Fuck!” He practically screams, sitting up. You hear a loud snap as you start to bob your head.

Your head is practically ripped away from Dan’s raging erection and brought to his lips. You feel his hands grasping your hips, it was going to leave bruises. Then you realized.

He broke the cuffs.

He rips your underwear off, bra and panties, before shoving two fingers into you. He trusts quickly, scissoring and curling his fingers, causing you to moan out.

He places you over his dick before sliding you on top of it with ease.

“Bounce, move your hips, just fuck me good before I loose control and fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” He grumbles in your ear. His words send waves down your body. You bounce up and down on Dan. His hands grab your breasts, massaging them intensely, and he leans in to kiss you. The kiss is filled with passion and lust, overflowing with pleasure as his tongue devours your senses. You enter complete bliss as you cum, long and hard. You moan loudly, pulling away from Dan. He cums shortly after you, as hard if not harder than you did. He pulls you off of him and lays you down next to him.

“Happy Birthday, y/n.” He mumbles. You mumble a thanks before you both fall into a needed sleep.

Good things

For @sayruq​ - who sent me an ask, but I’ve put it at the bottom because otherwise it might give the plot away slightly.

Contains bullying, sort of sexual bullying and bad language, and all of the usual angst you expect with my Snape stories.  Sorry.

“How many times have you been told?” Eileen snapped, waving her son away from the open cauldron in the tiny kitchen.  “Keep your nose out.”

“I’m only lookin’,” he whined, tucking his greasy hair behind his ears and peering over the pot once more.  He sniffed. “Smells like viper venom.”

“And what else?”

“Grass,” he said, hesitantly.  He paused and sniffed again.  “Rhubarb?” He screwed his face up.  “I dunno, it’s sorta citrus.  Not lemon.  Weird…a bit like, raspberry and lime and…”  He inhaled deeply.  “It’s blood orange!”

“Very good.”  Eileen wiped her hands on her apron and shooed him away.  “Now get on with you!”

“Who’s it for?  What’s it do?”

“Minnie Jones,” his mother said.  “And none of your beeswax, lad.”

“She’s gettin’ married.”


Severus paused by the kitchen door.  “Is it a wedding present?”  His face twisted into a leer.  “Is it for her or for him?”


He gave a soft laugh. “I’m fifteen, mam.  You can tell us!”


Later that night, he padded down the stairs and peered into the cooling cauldron.  His mother had added something else late in the process, because the liquid had solidified and turned canary yellow.  He prodded the potion tentatively with a clean glass rod, and watched in fascination as the jellied concoction moved as one around the pot.

He peered at the cauldron and then grabbed a jar from under the sink.  His mother wouldn’t miss a jar full.  He carefully ladled some of the mixture from the cauldron, and tightened the top, before secreting the jar in his schoolbag which lay discarded in the hall. It wouldn’t do for his mother to find such a thing in his bedroom.

He still didn’t know what it did, but a newlywed potion could only be fun.

He was cornered, four-on-one, by the library.  He’d reacted swiftly, but not swiftly enough – and now he found himself at the wrong end of Sirius Black’s wand, his wrists pinned to the wall behind him.

“What’ve you got in here?” Potter said, rooting through his bag.  “Shabby book, shabby book, another shabby book.”  He threw one at Peter, and laughed as several pages fell out. “Whoops.  Looks like you need a new Transfiguration textbook, Sniv.”

“Git,” Severus spat, and Sirius flicked his wand, causing an invisible hand to slap Severus’ cheek.  “Ow!  Fuck off, Black!”

“Such language,” Potter mocked delving deeper into his bag.  “And what are these?”  He held up three tubes of potions – one glittering, one blue and one a canary yellow. “Oi!  I’m talking to you.  These unlabelled potions.  What are they?”

“Don’t trust him, James,” Remus said, quickly.

Severus sneered. “Yes, don’t trust me.  One will bring eternal wealth, one eternal glory, and one eternal impotency…  Choose wisely, Potter.”

Despite himself, Sirius snorted.  “All yours, James.  I don’t fancy my chances.”

“Eternal impotency,” James scoffed.  “If one of these brought eternal wealth, Snivellus wouldn’t be so scruffy.”

Sirius barked a laugh. “Yeah, our house-elves have smarter tea-towels than you do clothes, Sniv.”

James picked up the potions one by one, examining them in the light, glancing at Severus as he did so. “So which are you fearful of, Snivvy?” He paused, and a slow smile spread across his face.  “I’ll be keeping these two,” he said, pocketing the shining potion, and the blue potion.  “You looked rather more cautious at this one.”  He waved the yellow one before his face.

“So the yellow one it is,” Sirius laughed.  “Open wide.”

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