ragdoll physics

Ragdoll Physics
Diablo Swing Orchestra

Pure as the unborn son
Pure as the maid,
should be ceased to breathe again
Never look away from those with nothing to spare

But I do and I don’t want to care anymore
If I close my eyes, would it spare me the sight
Of decay, corruption, how we nurture destruction
And everything that will doom us all?

Chaos may be thy name, you left us for anything
Trust never been so misplaced
As in your arms that day those that you gave away to those who could ease your mind.
We were nothing but a waste of your time and space.

But I do and I don’t want to care anymore
If I close my eyes, would it spare me the sight
Of decay, corruption, how we nurture destruction
And everything that will doom us all?

But I do and I don’t want to care anymore
If I close my eyes, would it spare me the sight
Of decay, corruption, how we nurture destruction
And everything that will doom us all?


Diablo Swing Orchestra - Ragdoll Physics

Immortal Fake AH Crew but… glitches and surreal things actually happen

  • getting lightly bumped into and going full blown ragdoll physics - michael cursing up a storm as he drops to the ground after jeremy fist bumps him too hard
  • the crew calling up a vehicle and watching it just spawn out of thin air in front of them
  • invisible walls
  • ryan all of a sudden jumping out of a car and causing jack to slam on the breaks. ryan hops in a moment later, saying, “sorry, i accidentally jumped out” and everyone just nodding their heads understandingly
  • planes blowing up after the slightest of nudgings
  • meanwhile; cars that can take a beating and still run perfectly
  • being chased by hundreds of police officers and jack says “okay, im tired, enough of this” and calls up lester. the police disappear within seconds
  • remember gavin running his motorbike into the gate and teleporting to the top of the world? yep, totally happened, everyone was very impressed
  • a literal infinite number of police officers, and some are duplicates - ray sniping from the top of a building only to pause and go “hey, guys, theres twin officers - no wait, triplets, they all look the same!!”
  • eating food and healing
  • stumbling and falling down mountains really easily and shouting at their own bodies to stop being so fucking dumb
  • doing stunts on a motorbike, flipping upside down and holding it at such an angle they fly off into the sky
  • cars getting the slightest bit wet and suddenly they dont work
  • trying to escape from the police boats in the ocean and geoff falling out, only to drop through the water and land on the sea floor. the rest of the crew tries to follow upon realising it was a glitch but are teleported to the beach instead, meanwhile geoff is still stuck on the ocean floor
  • being set on fire, surviving, and getting up perfectly healthy
  • falling immeasurably far distances only to glitch out and stand up perfectly unharmed
  • being one-punched
  • broken leg? got run over multiple times? just get a health pack and youll be good as new!
Hide the body?

While I was working on the Dark Brotherhood questline, I was told to find the Gourmet and kill him and for and extra reward, hide his body. I went to the inn he was staying at and sneakily knifed him in the back. I was intending to hide the body, but I couldn’t because the ragdoll physics GLITCHED and he was spazzing out, fused with the chair he was sitting in. Sorry ‘bout that, Astrid.

9

Hello everyone! I’m moving soon and so I’m sorting through my stuff, and I came across these pages from a Play Magazine cover story about Okami from March 2006. Thought I’d scan them in for y’all bc it’s really interesting to see what the opinions were from nearly 11 years ago.

The article and interview transcriptions are below the cut, just in case you can’t see the pictures properly. Note: I have transcribed most of the article as it appears in the magazine. The exceptions are that I broke up an exceedingly long paragraph in the main article and inserted like two brief notes on English translations.


Okami: Capcom’s wolf in celestial clothing is a breed apart

By Dave Halverson (Cover story, Play Magazine, March 2006)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What unpopular character do you love?

Nocturne, Nocturne, Nocturne.

He’s my pretty starry bedsheet with an unfortunately sharp smile, wonky psychic abilities, and total ragdoll physics I love to paint all kinds of weird headcanons on and no one can take that from me.

On another note, Fright Knight and Pariah Dark because I developed headcanons and universes related to them and I’m attached now.

youtube

Found a funny little physics bug in ABZU. I paralyzed my shark…

markiplier sentence meme pt 1.

quotes from markiplier’s trouble in terrorist town gameplays. featuring quotes from mangaminx, yamimash, and others.

“ that’s not cpr, that’s called blunt force trauma. “
“ gotta have evidence. “
“ are they moving around? “
“ okay, okay, enough of — okay. “
“ come down here with me. “
“ is that an admission of guilt? “
“ if anyone shoots me, i’m … i’ll shoot back! “
“ AH! IT BURNS! “
“ i think there might be some serious problems. “
“ let’s go together, at the same time, okay? “
“ magnum condoms taste great. i’m just saying!
“ is that a grenade?! “
“ what did they ever do to you? “
“ what are you looking at? get away. “
“ I HIT THE TNT! “
“ i don’t like the way you’re looking at me, there. “
“ can you shoot out the glass? “
“ hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! “
“ s/he’s following me! “
“ why didn’t you say so? “
“ how do i lift up the body? “
“ you’ve got to be kidding me! “
“ I’M THE GREATEST TERRORIST EVER! “
“ that’s okay. that’s the way it happens in war. “
“ it’s my acting skills. “
“ no matter what i say, you’re just going to assume, so … “
“ i promise you from the bottom of my soul. and it’s a very big soul. “
“ you might not want to look behind you. “
“ I’M ON FIRE! “
“ you dumbass! you motherhumper! you’re so stupid! “
“ it’s definitely not me. i can’t ruse to save my life. “
“ well well well. look at this. “
“ i’m glad it’s so entertaining for you, asshole! “
“ fuckity shit. ass. fuck! “
“ suck on that! boobity boobity! “
“ i’m not a terrorist, i’m just trying to kill __. “
“ i feel like i’m walking into a death trap. “
“ he seems legit. “
“ bury me. “
“ how ‘bout — BOOM, bitch! “
“ that sounds dangerous. “
“ no, that’s a good strategy. “
“ what is this shit? “
“ i just saw __ and did not shoot him in the head, even though i could have. “
“ i don’t think he’s distracted if you tell him i’m gonna shoot him in the back of the head. “
“ i might have led you astray a little bit. “
“ i’m not shooting you, i’m just shooting around you. “
“ you friggin’ moron! “
“ hey, let me press the button! “
“ why did you get in there? “
“ no one said not to! “
“ please, i wanna live so bad! “
“ i don’t know, i’m scared! “
“ screw this, i’m out of here! “
“ you guys weren’t supposed to come in the fucking house! “
“ he’s our silent antagonist. “
“ i’m on the slide! “
“ yeah, i’m on a slide. it’s very slidey. “
“ did i mention i’m on a slide? “
“ the loser in the race gets shot in the face. “
“ face your death like a man! “
“ that’s not a good mindset to have. “
“ you need to rethink your priorities. “
“ i don’t know, ‘cause you’re evil! and scary! “
“ i seem to be more suspicious of you than usual. “
“ this is for science. “
“ wait, i got it, i got it! fuck. “
“ c’mon, ragdoll physics. “
“ i was science-ing, you bastard! “
“ it’s incredibly steamy in here. “
“ i might die right now. “
“ wow. you were not paying attention. “
“ this is pretty matrix-y. “
“ i’m actually really sorry about that. “
“ i’ll take you with me. “
“ who’s carrying the body over there? “
“ he died so that we could live. “
“ why can’t you look at him? because of what you did? “
“ is that where you sit on a dude’s face? “
“ why is this all about my body? “
“ call the lift up, and we’ll put his body on it. “
“ oh, jesus! my balls! “
“ my plan, foiled! “
“ what is that?! oh god! “
“ oooonce! moooore! you OOOOPEN the door! “
“ boo! get off the stage! “
“ fuck you! “
“ what are you guys doing without me? “
“ there’s a shitty bruce springsteen impersonator over here. “
“ i’ll throw it off into the ocean as a symbolic gesture of goodwill. “
“ he criticised my singing! “
“ he wasn’t the bad guy, he’s just really bad at taking criticism. “
“ i’m sitting in the back, where you can’t aim at me. “
“ that was priceless. “
“ you can’t pull that shit on me. “
“ i can frame you, you can’t frame me! “
“ oh shit, it’s me! oh no, it’s me! “
“ i’m innocent, i swear! “
“ *HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING* “

Honestly, video game nostalgia cracks me up in general.

Let me explain you a thing.

My first console was a Mattel Intellivision. I got into PC gaming back when publishing an indie game meant mailing your source code to a computing hobbyists’ magazine so they’d print it in the back of their next issue for other gaming enthusiasts to key in by hand. I have seen some shit - and I mean that in every possible sense of the word “shit”.

Let’s go decade by decade, shall we?

I could technically start with the late 70s, but seriously, nobody is nostalgic for the late 70s, so let’s skip straight to the 80s. If you’re keen on the games of the 80s, this is what you’re looking back on:

  • Five-minute tech demos masquerading as full games
  • Bosses that have two attacks and take about 150 hits to kill; the real challenge is not zoning out from boredom halfway through the fight
  • Incomprehensible movie tie-ins
  • Titles where a seemingly innocuous decision in the first five minutes can render the game unwinnable in a way that won’t become obvious until hours later
  • Wandering around talking to each of a dozen visually identical NPCs until you find the one who’s holding the next plot coupon, and heaven help you if you missed one
  • Platformers where frame-perfect inputs and pixel-perfect jumps weren’t just a speed-runner’s trick, but expected as a matter of course, often without warning; some of these games were marketed to young children
  • Games that take eight hours to complete and have to be marathoned every time you play because they don’t have passwords or save files
  • Getting stuck not because you can’t complete the next objective, but because you can’t find the blasted thing

On to the 90s… hoo, boy. Video games underwent several paradigm shifts during the 90s, and all of them were terrible, so some of this stuff only applies to a particular 2-3 year stretch - I’ll try to keep it in chronological order:

  • CRPGs that offer hundreds of possible character builds, exactly three of which are actually viable
  • Systematically rubbing every item in your inventory against every interactive object in the game in an effort to brute-force your way past the puzzle designer’s insane troll logic
  • Games that are basically one giant quicktime event
  • Whoops! 3D open worlds are in now, but nobody knows how to design for them; welcome to a whole generation of games where it’s legitimately difficult not to break sequence
  • Pack-in PC games that will only run with one particular version of one particular video card; hope you never plan on upgrading…
  • Promos that consist entirely of FMV cutscenes
  • Female protagonists whose breasts have a higher polygon count than the rest of her character model put together
  • Terrifying neo-cubist mannequins with photos of real actors’ faces stapled to them
  • Getting stuck because the dialogue that tells you where you need to go next has been mistranslated

Now we get to the 00s. I’m going to focus on the early part of the decade, since the late 00s is too recent to have a serious nostalgia movement built up around it yet, and also a lot of the problems with games of that era are still current. That still leaves a fair bit to grouse about, including:

  • Hey, console games are allowed to swear now! Ass! Tits! Vulva!
  • Terrible 3D reduxes of beloved 2D franchises
  • Getting roadblocked by the obligatory racing minigame
  • Or the obligatory stealth minigame
  • Just… minigames
  • Realism is Brown (with bonus bloom)
  • Platformers where the only way to tell whether something is actually a platform or just a background decoration that looks like one is to take a flying leap and see if you bounce off
  • Hey, remember that whimsical 3D platformer you loved so much? Yeah, it’s a multiplayer online shooter now
  • Physics engines in games that don’t need them, implemented by programmers who don’t understand them
  • Speaking of physics, ragdoll character models in bloody everything
  • PARKOUR! *thud*

I’m sure you’ve got your own - feel free to chime in!