rae what am i doing


When Rae broke up with Finn, she said it was best they broke up now rather than later when they were both be in too deep. What she didn’t realize is that Finn already was. I think we all can say that Finn had feelings for Rae before she did for him. So those feelings had developed way before hers for him did. Even shown here, where they aren’t together you can see the feelings are still as strong as ever. I mean, his current girlfriend at the time is literally standing next to him and is even bumping shoulders with him but it’s like she’s not there, non-existent. All because the girl that holds his heart in the palm of her hand is currently walking away with another man.

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you could right a story about Finn seeing Archie holding up Rae's boobs, and he gets extremely jealous. Rae tells him why and it ends up with him holding her boobs up and maybe leads into something more naught.

A/n - so i just saw this, so sorry if you had to wait long. I’m kinda disappointed with this tbh, so again, I’m sorry. You don’t know how many times I’ve re-done this, but I tried. I did try to do a bit of smut but failed, but if someone wants to do it, be my guest :) anyway, enjoy :)


This has to be perfect.

It is perfect.

It has to be special.

It is special.

Everything needs to happen naturally.

….But you’ve planned it all out.

We’ll spend some time with the gang, then we’ll go off an’-

You’re still planning…..

-everything will fall in place. It’ll be one of the best days of our lives.

But she might not want to.

Shut up.

She might hate everything.

No she won’t.

She might be uncomfortable. She might not want it.

So wha’? We don’t ‘ave to do it if she doesn’t want t’. We’ll still have fun talking.

You don’t know that.

Neither do you. So shut up before I make you.

But I’m you? What ya gonna do little Finny, punch yaself?


Yup. This is what’s going on in Finn’s head. But he’s not worrying. Oh no. No, no. No worry there.



Ok. He’s worrying. Of course he is. This may very well be his and Rae’s first time together: Rae’s first time. He doesn’t want anything to go wrong. So yes. He planned it. What? He’s a teen. A madly in love teen, that wants his girl to have a good, no, great, no, special first time. He wants this experience to be amazing. He wants her to feel amazing. She is amazing, so she deserves to feel that way.

Oh, for fucks sake. His inner voice shouts, like an echo bouncing around in his head. Sweaty palms. Sweaty fucking palms. Rae, if ya seeing this, it’s all you’re fault with ya stupid eyes and smile and that fucking delicious smelling hair, I mean, come on!? Who has hair that smells so-

What the fuck?

Finn froze.

“Why. Is. Archie. Holding. My. Rae’s. Boobs?” He demanded in a whisper.

As no-one was paying attention, they didn’t notice the way Finn’s fists balled up, way to tight for comfort. They didn’t notice the shade of dark pink, that forced its way to his face in anger.  They didn’t notice his solider-like march he did, as he made his way over to his girlfriend and his best friend, and they didn’t hear what was said as Finn was so angry that he couldn’t even make his voice raise, only drop to a dangerous level.

"Get. The fuck. Off. My Girl.”

Rae and Archie literally jumped apart.


Wide eyes.


And silence.

Archie and Rae kept changing their glancing from each other to Finn, whereas Finn just stared hard at Archie.

Invading his space, Finn asked, his tone still low, “Why, were ya fuckin’ touchin’ Rae’s boobs?”

“Finn-” Rae started, but was instantly cut off.

“Archie. Answer.”

Flicking his eyes back and fourth, unsure of how to answer, -well, he was more unsure if Rae wanted Finn to know about the underwear she bought yet- and knowing that Rae couldn’t help as she was still starting at the side of Finn’s face in both shock and amusement, he hoped he’d get a little bit longer to think of something.

Just as he saw Finn open his mouth in impatience, Archie shouted, “It wasn’t what it looks like, I were just helpin’!” before running back to the where the rest of the gang were.

After another minute of intense glaring at the back of Archie’s head, Finn finally turned around and faced Rae, ready to give her a ‘what the hell ya playin’ at’ speech, but as soon as their eyes met, Rae couldn’t help herself, and barked out in laughter, leaving Finn, standing in front of her, confused, embarrassed, and still pissed.

Was this a game? Was she gonna tell meh that she an’ Archie are actually goin’ out, an that they made a bet to see how long she could keep me hangin’. Did she even fancy meh? Oh God. She doesn’t. Now, I’ve made a fuckin’ fool outta mehself, thinkin-

“I’m so sorry Finn.” She managed to get out, as she was still laughing.

Here it comes.

“It were nothin’, but your face.” She laughed harder, still pointing to his face.

Ok. Finn was offended. He didn’t know if he should be, but he was.

“Wha’ were nothin’? You an’ Archie? Or you an’ me?” He frowned, which made her stop laughing and frown.

“What the bloody hell are you goin’ onna bout?”

“He were fucking holding ya boobs Rae! Wha’ am I meant to think? What the fuck do ya think ya doing? What the fuck is goin-”

This time she cut him off. But not with words.

Oh, no.

She grabbed his hands and place them on her chest so that they were cupping her breast.

Where this burst of confidence came from, he didn’t know. But he damn well liked it.

“Listen. I bought some shit new underwear yeah, and they feel horrible. My boobs are drooping and ma nickers are up ma fuckin’ arse. Which I don’t fucking want, ‘cause if I did, I would have bought a fucking thong!” She ranted. “Archie and I are best friends, trust me, we don’t think of each other that way, and he were just helpin’ me out.”

Great. Now he feels stupid. Absolutely, fucking stupid. She and Archie weren’t together. She wasn’t leaving him. She actually bought some new lingerie. For him. Him.

Ignoring his still pink face, (this time it’s pink in embarrassment instead of anger) and cheekily asked, “Well, if they’re as uncomfortable as you say they are, how ‘bout we go take them off?” He tried to smile innocently, but failed miserably as his eyes darkened.

Rae, still in her state of confidence, smirked. “Well, seeming as you’ve gone as turned me on with ya jealousy, I s’pose we could.”

Sharing a naughty laugh, they made their way to the caravan - which Rae didn’t even know he had - and had shared the best experience of their life. Well, one of many.

Mad Spaced (1/?)

A/N: So, this is the MMFD/Spaced crossover I’ve been talking about for awhile now, and I don’t know why, but I got inspired last night. I’m just going to put this out there and see what everyone thinks. This is about the first five minutes of the first episode of Spaced, but I just thought it would be cool to drop Rae and Finn and the gang into this kind of world, the sort of quarter-life crisis in a big city thing, friends being the family of the 21st century, just to see what happens. 

If I continue it, the other characters would come into play, obviously. 

So, please, let me know what you think! (If you haven’t ever watched Spaced, now would be a great time to start! But I also hope you don’t need to watch it to appreciate it.)

* * *

North London, 2004

Okay, Rae, you are twenty-four years old. You should not be sleeping with strange men who turn out to be technically homeless as a way of dealing with the fact that your boyfriend lives 200 miles away. That is bad behavior and you are above all that! 

She shook her head to try and forget about last night and think about Richard instead. Lovely, kind Richard, up there in Hull, finishing his second degree. She’d taken four years to earn a third in Humanities, which is fine, because that’s what she expected to get, anyway. It was fine. Michelle from EastEnders got a third, as she would be quick to point out to anyone who made a face after she revealed her grade. She could have tried harder, but just couldn’t be arsed. After hanging around Hull for a couple of years, living with Richard and working odd jobs where she was almost invariably fired after the first paycheck, she decided she needed a change of scene.

She’d come to London a year ago, to try and be a writer, but she felt that no one ever got what she was trying to do. She wanted to smash the patriarchy, but be funny about it, and maybe write about bands and how music had gone to shit just lately. If that didn’t work, she could always write articles about skin care for Grazia. She was currently on the dole.

The first thing she needed to do was move out of the squat she had found herself living in. It was like something out of Trainspotting, for fuck’s sake, and though she wanted gritty, real experiences to color her writing, she didn’t actually want to walk in on a girl fellating a junkie while he shot himself up. As glamorous as Irvine Welsh made it all sound, deep down she knew she was a little too boring to be a drug-addict. A spliff now and again was as far as she ever ventured down the dangerous path of illegal substances.

She pushed the door to the cafe open, wearily, and after she bought herself a cup of tea, managed to snag the last empty table, and sat down to face the windows, so that when she got bored of trawling through descriptions of flats she couldn’t afford, she could look up and people watch.

* * *

Finn peered into the window, eyes scanning the cafe. It was full. Full of twats, some in suits on their lunch break and some in pseudo-grungewear taking a break from all responsibility. He just wanted a place to sit down and look through the flats for rent section of the paper he’d found on a park bench.

He resented finding himself in this position. He and Stacey were good together. Well, comfortable, at least. So, why had she thrown everything away to cheat on him with her boss, Duane? Ugh. And she was kicking HIM out? Sure, she paid most of the rent, but for fuck’s sake. He wanted to jump on his skateboard and carve up the pavement, get some of his frustrations out, but he was twenty-five years old and the average age of the kids at the park was depressing close to half his. 

The only free seat in the whole place was across from a girl with long dark hair, wearing a leather jacket and a band t-shirt. He folded his second hand copy of The Telegraph up and stuffed it in his back pocket as he queued to get his coffee. A moment later, he found himself standing next to her table. “Um, sorry, d’ya mind if I sit here?” She looked up, slightly startled, but then smiled. “Uh, no! No, go right ahead.” She gestured to the seat across from her, eyes meeting his for a split second, before looking back at the paper in front of her.

She was looking at the classifieds, too. As he pulled his paper from his back pocket and started to unfold it, he asked, “What’re ya lookin’ for?”

The girl’s head shot up. “Nothin’! What d’ya mean?”

Finn shook his head and pointed at their papers. “Don’t worry, I jus’ meant I’m lookin’ for a flat and wondered if you were, too.”

She visibly relaxed, and simply said, “Oh.”

Finn took his knit cap off and peered over at her.  “What, did ya think I were a drug dealer or somethin’?” He grinned.

“Nah, jus’ … well, maybe.”

“Ah, thanks a lot!” He laughed and the girl smiled back. “I’m Finn, by the way.” He stuck his hand out to be shaken.

The girl looked at it for a moment, like she didn’t trust it, but eventually timidly shook it. “Rae. As in Rachel.”

“Nice to meet ya.”

* * *

The next day Rae got to the cafe earlier. She flashed back to yesterday, and chatting with that bloke, Finn. He was proper fit, but seemed cool. Easy-going, maybe? She was always catching herself talking too fast and she was sure he was bored by her rapid fire prattling about how she’d ended up in her horrid, squalid squat. He had wrinkled his nose and joked, “Skip to the end?” when she found herself merrily sprinting along a tangent. “So … I’m moving out!” she finished, a cheery note in her voice. He was nice, commiserating about having to find a new place, too. Too bad she’d probably never see him again.

She’d looked at three places this morning, which were all just as bad if not worse than where she was living now. The only major difference was that they were a hell of a lot smaller. She was musing about going back to Hull as she bought her tea, and liberally dosed it with cream and sugar. She splashed out and treated herself to a banana, as well. She’d just turned around to sit at the same table as yesterday, and found that Finn had apparently arrived just as she had and claimed it, sitting on the same side as yesterday. She glanced around, the cafe was filling up. Should she sit somewhere else? Just as she made to walk past, he looked up and gestured hello with his eyebrows. “Any luck?” he asked.

She paused, shrugged, and plonked herself down opposite him. “No, but it’s early days yet. You?”

He just shook his head slowly, turning the page of his paper. “‘M’gonna hafta find somewhere soon, though. I’ve been crashing at my mate’s place, and his mum isn’t too happy abou’ it.” He looked up at her. “Save my spot? I’m gonna grab a cup of coffee.”

Rae nodded, hoping she looked nonchalant, but as soon as he walked away, she let her eyes bug out of her head. What was happening?

When he got back, they chatted easily. She found out he’d just split up with his girlfriend. He was kind of upset about it, but she thought she detected that he probably thought it was inevitable. She was usually good about reading people, and it seemed to her that he’d probably gotten complacent in the relationship. Of course, she didn’t make any comparisons to her own arrangement with Richard. In fact, she didn’t mention him at all that day.

* * *

Finn was kind of chuffed to see Rae’s dark hair and leather jacket in line for a drink when he came in the cafe. He saw the table they’d been sitting at yesterday empty, so he slid into the same seat he’d occupied yesterday and waited for her to turn around. There’d been one split second when he thought she might walk on past him, but when he asked her if she’d had any luck, she immediately sat down opposite him and they chatted for an hour. She was a right laugh, and he could use someone fun in his life just now.

When they started to get dirty looks from the staff, Rae stood up and said, “Well, I’d better see about a few of these before they get snapped up.”

As she walked to the door, Finn twisted around in his seat and said, “Maybe I’ll see ya tomorrow?”

She glanced over her shoulder and nodded. “Yeah, maybe.”

* * *

Over the next week, they met up at the cafe almost everyday. One day Finn came in wearing an Aquaman costume and carrying an inflatable guitar, looking sheepish. 

“What have you come as?” Rae snorted with laughter. 

“I work at a record store SLASH comics shop, and we’re havin’ a promotion. Buy three CDs and get a free comic. Oi, quit laughin’!”

“Sorry, mate, it’s hard to take you serious in that get up. Are you on your break or somethin’?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, I work ‘round the corner, at the Fantasy Music Bazaar.”

Rae raised her eyebrows. He’d come to have a coffee with her on his break? Interesting.

She shook her head, and just then her mobile buzzed on the table next to her hand. “Oh, bollocks,” she muttered, when she saw who it was.

“Mmm?” Finn asked through a sip of coffee.

“Oh, it’s just … my boyfriend, Richard.”

Finn cleared his throat and sat up straighter, scratching his head for a minute. “Oh? Trouble in paradise?” he asked in a voice somewhat higher than Rae had gotten used to.

“Nah, just … never mind. Everythin’s cool; just, long-distance can be tough at times.” 

Finn nodded like he understood, but from what Rae could work out, he’d only had the one long-term girlfriend, and he’d moved in with her right after uni. 

“Anyway, back to the hunt; I’ll text him back later.”

They both turned their attention to their papers.

A couple of days later, Finn flopped into the chair opposite Rae, nodding hello. 

“How’s it goin’?” Rae asked, the slightest edge of concern in her voice.

Finn sighed, “Oh, y’know. Same as always.”

“That bad, huh?” 

They both laughed at that. Finn had stopped trawling the parks for papers; they now shared the two free papers that Rae picked up every morning. It was hard, because they were essentially looking for the same thing, but somehow they’d never run into one another looking at a place. Finn stood up. “I’m gettin’ a sandwich. Y’want one?” 

Rae shook her head. She couldn’t afford to pay him back at the moment; she didn’t get her benefits until Friday. Plus, she never really liked eating in front of someone else. A cup of tea was one thing, but a sandwich, no.

Finn came back to the table and took a massive bite. He got a smear of mustard on his cheek, and took two more bites before Rae subtly got his attention. She inclined her head and gestured between her cheek and his. 

“What? What is it?” Finn didn’t know what she was on about. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Rae exhaled and grabbed a napkin to wipe it off his face. 

Finn looked down, embarrassed. “Hey, thanks.”

“No worries, mate. I’d expect the same from you. Friends don’t let friends walk around lookin’ like knobheads.”

Finn grinned up at her, finishing his sandwich with smaller bites. 

* * *

So, they were friends, eh? That was good. Finn didn’t have many friends. There was Chop, his best mate, the one he was stopping with. They’d been friends since they were kids, but Chop was way into his Territorial Army gig. It was fun, sometimes, but other times, Finn wished he’d just relax a bit. And there was Bilbo, his boss at Fantasy. (He’d heard a rumor that Bilbo’s real name was Kester, which would explain the name change.) 

The next day, though neither of them realized it, was their two week anniversary of meeting up. Rae showed up in a strange satin jacket; it was a little too hot for her usual leather one. She stared dead-eyed out at the passersby, and Finn glanced at her uneasily. He ventured a cautious, “Any luck?”

Rae snapped. “No, I haven’t had nor will I EVER have, any luck!” Her face crumpled a bit. “I can’t DO this anymore!” She started tearing up, and Finn didn’t know what to do. He looked around, but everyone pretended not to notice that Rae was breathing heavily and rambling loudly. 

“Whoa, there, pickle!” He couldn’t help it, his nan’s pet name for him slipped out. She’d always call him Pickle when he got upset. But before he could say anything else, Rae continued.

“Every morning it’s the same! I wake up and phone all the places I’ve circled out of the Evening Standard, only to discover they’ve been taken by a bunch of fuckin’ PSYCHIC HOUSE HUNTERS!”

“Well, y’know, you’ve only looked at a few …” He reached his hand out to sort of pat the air near her shoulder, not sure if he should actually touch her when she was upset. 

“Yeah! And they’ve all been cold, infested rat-holes!” 

“Well, I’m in the same boat and you don’t see me … gettin’ upset.” Just then, he did get swept up in a feeling of hopelessness. Was he going to be kipping on Chop’s mum sofa until he was forty? The two of them had a collective grump, Rae burying her head in her arms on the tabletop and Finn pinching the bridge of his nose.

Rae sniffed loudly, and began to sit up, away from the table. “Oh, hang on. I didn’t see this one!” She pointed to a listing in tiny print near the bottom of the page and read: “Spacious two-bedroom apartment, fully furnished, 100 pounds a week.” Rae looked up at Finn, hope in her tear-filled eyes. His eyes fell to the listing and he saw another line, which he read out: “Professional couple only.”

Rae slumped forward again, “Why? Why? Why?”

He hated to see anyone this way, and he could understand why she’d hit the wall. Just then, an idea came to him. “You could always lie,” he suggested.

“What d’ya mean?” Rae raised her head, looking at him curiously. 

“Well, have you got any homeless male friends?” 

“How—?” Rae shook her head, but then she looked off to the side, clearly working on this puzzle. Then she turned back. “Well, I do have one homeless male friend …” She smiled at him, and he wondered who it could be, until she was still smiling at him a minute later. 

“Who?” he asked. She just kept smiling at him, and then he realized. 

It was him.

Keep your eyes on me

“I am not going to the ball. End of.” Rae bursts out. Her sister Chloe has been trying to convince her to go to the town ball for two hours now, and Rae is utterly fed up with her.

“But why? Rae just give me one reason why you shouldn’t go?”

“I have thousands of reasons not to go Chlo.” Rae calms down, trying to get away from this conversation. “I don’t have a dress, I don’t have a date, I don’t have a beautiful body like yours, and have I mentioned I hate this stupid annual ball?”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “You love dancing. You should go because you love dancing. Plus I’ll be there, so will be your friends. It’s just a way to hang out with your favorite people in the world!”

Now it’s Rae’s turn to roll her eyes. “You’re not part of my favorite people in the world.” A smirk appears on her face, revealing she’s only joking. Of course she loves her sister. More than she will ever admit.

Chloe gives her a smirk back. Then her face softens and she comes next to Rae to pat her back softly. “OK I’m going to stop harassing you with this, but please consider it? We all want you to come and we can promise you you’ll have a good time. Alright?”

Rae’s lips curl up into a smile and she nods. “Alright, I’ll think about it.”

Keep reading

Autumn Leaves - Part 6

So here’s part six. I honestly have no idea how many parts this will have but I’ll just keep going with it until I get it to where I want it to go. Thanks again for reading/liking/reblogging you are all great and enjoy!

kneekeyta ducky17 rinncincin stephsadickhead bitchy-broken i-dream-of-emus tinakegg jessicacandesign murderyoursoul abullofshit celestev31 areyousad8118 girlwithafoxhat kristicallahan jackiewalsh2013 finnsnelons anglophileyoungblood idontliketalkingtoanybody llexis milymargot alyssaloca scumothaearff


“I- It’s not, it’s not what it looks like” Rae stuttered her eyes wide with shock.

“Yeah I fell and Rae helped me up and, and…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me but you two fuckers are lucky that it was me who just walked in here and not our Chlo. I wouldn’t expect this from you Rae I mean your Chloe’s best mate, him" Chop said pointing to a shocked and disappointed Finn "maybe, but not you”. Well that was something Chop hadn’t expected to happen tonight although he wasn’t completely surprised. He had an inkling Finn had a bit of a thing for Rae by the way he’d gotten all weird yesterday and the look of disappointment on his face from presumably being interrupted confirmed this.

“What! You’ve got it all wrong nothing happened or was going to we were just chatting. I wouldn’t got for Finn and especially not after he’s been with Chlo and upset her because the last thing I’d want to do is hurt her” Rae lied. Recently she’d been thinking about Finn more and more and she knew she had got him all wrong but she just didn’t want to admit it. He was of course extremely gorgeous too and Rae wouldn’t have minded just putting her lips to his right there and then and getting to taste a bit of the ultimate slice that is Finn Nelson. That could never ever happen though not now he and Chloe had had a thing and Chloe so clearly still liked him and would do for quite some time.

Finn snapped his head to look at Rae after hearing what she’d just said. ‘I’d never go for Finn’. What would be so bad about going out with him he thought. A minuet ago it had seemed she was about to kiss him if he hadn’t kissed her first and now she’s saying she would never be with him. He really didn’t understand this girl. He probably shouldn’t have tried to kiss her the same day he’d ended things with Chloe though because from what he’d gathered she was pretty cut up about it. That wasn’t what he wanted but he couldn’t let things go on any longer, couldn’t lie and then upset Chloe even more one day. He knew Rae was a really great friend too and he knew she would never betray Chloe so nothing could happen between the two of them. He’d just have to push his feelings aside, it was just a crush after all, he’s had them before and they’d passed and this would too.

“Well whatever ‘that’ was let’s just forget about it yeah? Chop suggested.

"Sounds good mate, why don’t we head to the kitchen and get a couple more drinks, I’m not nearly as drunk as I should be by now” Finn said cheerfully, patting Chop on the shoulder.

“That’s more like it, let’s make this a proper party. Raemundo you coming?”

“As much as I’d love to Chop I think i’ll go find Chloe and see how she’s doing” Rae said.

“Alright well you know where we are” Chop said grinning before walking off with Finn in tow.


After pushing her way through the mass of drunken and almost lifeless bodies Rae found herself at the stairs and decided it was best to start up there. Barney’s house was really fucking big.

After checking three or so rooms, being greeted by ‘fuck off’ mostly, she decided to try the fourth room at the other ending of the landing. Just as she was making her way there something caught her eye. It was Archie. Kissing some guy. It stopped Rae in her tracks. She didn’t care that care that Archie was gay, it was his business and he was still the same person, it just shocked her. She wasn’t sure what to do. Should she just ignore it, maybe he didn’t want everyone knowing. She decided just to walk past as though she hadn’t seen anything but just as she was walking past Archie looked up and seen him, his face was a picture of complete terror. Like he’d just seen the most terrifying thing in the world.

“Rae” Archie breathed out.

“Do you wanna go outside for a chat Arch” Rae said sympathetically. She could find Chloe in a while but right now she knew Archie needed her.

“Ehhh, y-yeah” He stuttered. His eyes were glazed over with a threat of tears spilling out of them at any moment. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He was always unsure of his sexuality but kissing that guy tonight had proved to him he was gay and he didn’t think he’d been so relieved about anything in his entire life. That thought soon faded away though when he seen Rae. Now everyone would find out. He’d be known as gay Archie, he’d be called names like faggot and poof. As much as he’d hate all that though he was most worried of what Finn and Chop would think of him. It had always been the 3 of them, ever since they were little kids. They would do absolutely everything together. He didn’t want them to treat him differently. He didn’t want them to act different around him, like they were worried he liked them as anything more than a friend. He didn’t want them feel like he’d lied to them and that they didn’t really know him at all. He was still him. He just liked guys.


Once they were outside they found a wall to sat on and Archie took a deep breath preparing himself for what was to come.

“Look Rae about what you saw, you can’t tell-”

“Arch I would never tell anyone ever unless you wanted me to. You being gay, if you are that is, has nothing to do with me. I just want you to know that if you are gay, you can talk to me. I’m not about to go treating you any differently because your still the same kind, caring, considerate, loyal and might I add boring bastard at times, that you were when I first met you. I’m so glad I did. I’ve never met anyone quite like you and I known you al that long but I love to bits”. Rae looked Archie and see nothing but relief and a small smile on his face as he looked at her.

Archie engulfed Rae into a hug and lay his head on her shoulder ”I really fucking love you Rachel Earl”.

“Oh Arch” Rae said gently rocking him as he wept.

A few in minuets later Archie pulled out of the hug. “I think I’ve always known” he said thoughtfully. “I’ve done stuff with girls but it just never felt right. Then tonight when I kissed Adam, it just felt so right. I was so fucking relieved it’s like I’ve spent my whole life unsure of who I am and tonight I finally figured it out. I’m so glad it was you that seen that happen. You we’re just the person I needed tonight Rae. How am I ever meant to tell Chop and Finn” he asked, his eyes searching her face as if it held all the answers.

“Look we will worry about that in the morning but tonight you should just go and enjoy yourself. Celebrate finding out who Archie really is” Rae said.

“Your right, thanks so much I don’t know what I’d do without you I’m so glad I met you” he said before kissing her cheek.

“Hey don’t you get all soppy on me now. Finn and Chop are in the kitchen . Go join them and get pissed” Rae said laughing slightly.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“I’ll join you in a bit, I need to go find Chlo first”.


After Archie left her she made her way back up the stairs and headed for the room she was about to check when she seen Arch.

She stood at the door to listen for any noise and she thought she could hear voices but it was very faint. She slowly pushed the door open and drew in a sharp intake of breathe at what she saw.

“Chlo? Rae said her voice shaking.

"Rae? What are you doing here? Chloe asked almost angrily, confusing Rae.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing, taking that shit? Rae asked firmly pointing to the lines of a white substance Rae presumed was cocaine that Chloe had clearly sniffed up her nose as she kept wiping it self consciously.

"I’ts just a bit of fun, Ian let me have some you should try some” she slurred swaying slightly.

Rae looked over at he bed to see a sleazy looking man watching them looking lustily at Chloe. She then turned to look at her friend and found that she wasn’t there anymore. Her eyes were dark, almost like they were dead they had no life in them.

“That’s not fun Chloe, fun is going to a gig or getting drunk at the pub and having a food fight after it. That” she said pointing to the drug “isn’t fun!”

“Oh give it a rest Rae what are you my mum, why do you care anyway”

“Of course I care your my best mate Chloe” Rae couldn’t believe Chloe had done this. It was like she was having a breakdown

“Oh is that why I saw you kissing Finn then ” Chloe asked shrugging her shoulders.

“What are you talking about I’ve never kissed Finn I wouldn’t do that to you.” Rae didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.

“I seen you two earlier  getting all cosy, he was going to kiss you, so don’t tell me you care about me when you’d do that” Chloe said looking away.

“No you’ve got it all wrong we was just talking and he fell and I helped him up and we ended up close nothing happened and it wouldn’t have because I don’t like Finn that way and I couldn’t do that to you” Rae said hoping Chloe would believe her. She couldn’t bare to lose her best friend.

“Whatever” Chloe said. Rae noticed the colour had drained from her face and she seemed like she was trying to focus on something, anything. She then began to stumble around a bit before she collapsed with a thud to the ground.

“CHLOE!” Rae screamed before dropping to her knees beside her friend. “HELP SOMEONE HELP!”

People began rushing in to the room and within minuets the gang had cane uo to see what was all the cause for the commotion. They peered there heads through the crowd in the room to find an unconscious Chloe and a crying Rae who’s face was clouded with concern and fear.


“Omg what happened” Izzy cried also bending down next to Rae.

“She, she took something and then she- just down she went” Rae said her voice cracking.

“Holy shit” Archie said bringing his hands up to his mouth.

Finn looked down at Rae crying and he did the only going he felt he could do in this situation. He took her in her arms and let her cry on him. He tried up soothe her as best he could but he knew it was no use. He was just as worried as Rae was.

“What the fuck we going to do” Chop asked, sounding fragile as he looked down at his friend in horror.

[a/n: I’m hours late. I know, I know. I’m sorry. Here is chapter 5. I listened to City and Colour while writing this and if you listen to him, you know he has some really sad songs. I’m really proud of myself for only crying twice. I hope you guys like it. Thank you for continued support. You’re the best. CC: bnayy celestev31 (thank you for your beautiful words darling xx) rinncincin kneekeyta katywright340 areyousad8118 thisissomefreshbullshit arashian-emu – Again, if you wanna be tagged let me know ♥]

Chapter 5

Other parts here 

Word Count : 5,900+

It had been a few weeks since graduation. Things were pretty much the same. Except for the fact that Finn dragged her to all these parties. She loved being there for him but the fact that she didn’t belong in this world became clearer. She had picked a school, she would attend UCLA in the fall for medicine, she just didn’t know what kind of doctor she wanted to become. Chloe said she would come with her to Los Angeles, they could be roommates, she would figure out what to do when she was there. Rae felt happy with her decisions, she had a good feeling about where her life was going. But the worry of what would happen to Finn and her, it weighed on her chest and each day it grew heavier. She loved him more than anything but she just didn’t know if she could handle the distance, it was over 5,000 miles. What was she going to do?

“Are you okay, baby?” asked Rosie. Always so attentive. Rae would miss her so much when she left. Rae was still staring out of the window and she shrugged. She hadn’t been okay in a few days. “Do you wanna go home? It’s fine.” Rae shook her head slowly.

“Okay, baby, I’m gonna need you to say something cause I’m starting to worry so come on, spit it out.” Rosie rubbed Rae’s back and it made Rae’s eyes water.

“I don’t know if I can do this Ro, I don’t know if I’m strong enough for a relationship that has to endure the distance of over 5,000 miles.” Her tears hit her white shirt leaving transparent splotches. “He has his dreams and I have mine, I would love nothing more than for us to live out our dreams together but how are gonna do that if he’s across the Atlantic Ocean?” She spoke in between sobs and all Rosie could do was hold her.

“You’re strong enough to handle this, baby, you both are. I’ve never seen a pair of teenagers so utterly in love with each other. It’s actually disgusting how cute you two are. Have a little faith in yourself, try it out for a while and if in the end you decide you can’t do it, let it go, not to be cliché, but if you love something let it go and if it comes back that’s how you’ll know.” Rosie smiled a little bit at her, but Rae just looked at her trying to make sense of what Rosie was telling her.

“He has to leave for about a week to meet with some people from over there. I guess I can use this to see what it would be like, him there and me here and soon me in Los Angeles.”

“You picked UCLA?! Baby, you’re gonna love California. It’s a beautiful place, it’s the earthquakes that suck.” Rosie laughed.

“Ugh, don’t remind me of that. It terrifies me a bit.” Rae frowned a little.

“When does Finn leave for England?”

“He leaves tomorrow actually, Finn and the boys are leaving.” she answered.

“Isn’t your firecracker of a friend dating one of his friends?” Rosie asked.

Rae just laughed, “Izzy? yeah, she dates Chop. But, she’s moving over there with him.” Rosie just nodded in understandment. “Look, take or don’t take my advice, it’s up to you. I just don’t want you to hate yourself over your decision. I’ve known you long enough to know you take things pretty hard. I want you to be happy.” She put her hands on Rae’s shoulders and shook her playfully.

“I know, I know. I’ve been going to the parties with him and oh my god, I wanna blow my brains out every single time. I mean, he loves it because he gets to meet all these amazing people who are heroes to him and it makes me happy that he’s happy but the women, oh dear god, the women, Rosie. These women and I have absolutely nothing in common. How am I supposed to be the supportive girlfriend if I have to be around these women who make me wanna pull out my own eyelashes?” Rae put her hands on her temples and widened her eyes.

“Fuck those bitches -” Rosie always straight and to the point, “You have nothing to prove to them, they can love who you are or they can fuck off.” Rae hugged Rosie and kissed her on the cheek, “What am I gonna do without you?” Rae asked her.

“You’re gonna wanna pull out your damn eyelashes without me -” Rosie smirked, “Don’t worry, I ain’t going no where, I’ll forever be one phone call away, one e-mail away, para siempre, forever baby.” Rae was so thankful for Rosie, she was like the really cool older sister she never had.

“Thanks a lot Rosie, truly, having you around means a lot sometimes, I can’t talk to my mum or the girls about this and you always help.”

“No need to thank me, and never talk to your momma about boys cause they store all the information and then use it against you. Trust me.” Rae laughed, Rosie had a point, mom’s sometimes hit where it hurts, “I’ll keep that in mind. Is it okay if I head home?”

“Get out of here, now. Go. Run. Shoo fly, go away.” Rosie pushed her towards the door and Rae grabbed her bag. Rae stepped outside and saw that it was cloudy outside and looked like it might rain so she grabbed an umbrella from the maintenance closet. She had only been walking for ten minutes when it started to drizzle. She looked at her watch and thought it was too early to go home, she decided to pass by the pub to see if Finn was there. As she walked, she noticed that the street vendors covered their things and opened the umbrellas. The light wind that was blowing made all the smells hit her nose at once. It smelled like pizza, coffee, and garbage. The rain wasn’t helping very much. It just magnified the smell of New York. Rae had a love/hate relationship, she was used to it but it sometimes drove her crazy. She swung her backpack and put it against her chest trying to pull out her compact to see if you could tell that she had been crying for a bit. She put her mirror back into her bag and put her arm through the strap. She walked down the steps into the pubs patio and closed the umbrella and put it against the wall.

When she opened the door she looked around and didn’t see him but his dad saw her.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes darling.” Finn’s dad said warmly. Rae smiled and went to hug him. “Hi, Mr. Nelson. You alright?” He threw the rag that was in his hand over his shoulder and went around the bar, he grabbed a glass from the top cabinet and placed it on the counter.

“What brings you by, darling? -” He put his hand over hers and squeezed, “Can I get you something?” Rae kind of really wanted a snakebite but she also really wanted water.

“I know I’m at a pub and I should have a proper drink but can I just have some water? I need actual hydration.” Mr. Nelson laughed and poured her some water and placed the glass on a coaster. “Is Finn around?” she asked while she took a drink of water.

“He is, he’s downstairs. Would you like me to get him for you?”

“Oh no, that’s fine. I believe I can find my way downstairs.” She finished her glass of water and jumped off the stool. She threw her backpack over her shoulder and went down the stairs where she found Finn with his back to her muttering something as he taped together some wires that had come undone in the panel that controls the air conditioning. She tip toed closer to him and leaned against the desk putting her bag on the floor. As he squeezed together the ends of the wires, there was a spark which caused Finn to yell. “Fucking shit, that hurts!” Rae covered her mouth to stifle her laughter but it was useless. He looked at her and his eyes lit up.

“What are you doing here?” he walked over to her and grabbed her by the waist.

“Well, apparently I got here just in time to watch you get slightly electrocuted by some loose wires.” She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and grabbed his hand. She saw the tips of his index finger and thumb were red. “Does it hurt?” she asked him and he nodded. She put his thumb in her mouth and sucked on it a little bit and kissed it. Finn groaned a little.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were being a little cheeky Miss Earl.” he said to her in an almost whisper. There was a slight look of lust in her eyes when she did it again but this time to his index finger. “I don’t know what you’re talking about -” she said innocently, “I’m just trying to make it stop h..-” She didn’t even get to finish her sentence, Finn didn’t let her. His tongue had found his way into her mouth and her hands into his hair. He pushed her into the desk and Rae gasped, she didn’t even notice when he managed to get rid her jeans, panties and shoes. She sat on the desk and wrapped her legs and arms around him. Neither of them caring that there was a pub full of people upstairs that could hear them, they didn’t even care that his dad could happen to walk downstairs to see if they needed anything. They were so wrapped up in each other that none of it mattered. All she could think of was how she could ever wanna let go of this. She tugged on his hair a little bit and it sent shivers down her spine. They were still for a few minutes, both of them trying to register what had just happened and how it happened so fast.

“I am so glad you stopped by.” he said against her ear. She looked at him and kissed him hard on the lips. “So am I, and to think I was gonna go home after work.” He kissed her on the shoulder and let her get up. She found her pants and underwear and put them on. How did her shoes end up by the stairs that quickly? She’ll never know.She finished putting on her shoes and looked over at Finn who wouldn’t stop staring at her.

“Would you stop staring at me -” she said “It freaks me out.”  Finn shook his head and laughed. “What are you gonna do without me for a week,girl?” he asked. What am I gonna do without you, period. Rae thought. She looked at him and bit the inside of her lip. “Oh, I don’t know, I guess I’ll figure something out-” she half smiled, “come on, come with me, I need a drink.” Rae felt she needed the entire bar. They had just had a moment of complete and utter bliss and to be honest, she was a little angry he had brought up the fact that he was leaving but she knew it was something that couldn’t be avoided.She took a seat on one of the bar stools and Finn followed. “Can I get a snakebite please?” she asked Gary.

“A drink after all?” he asked smiling. Gary looked at both of them, sporting flushed cheeks and he laughed to himself. “Here you go, Rae.” he said and placed the drink in front of her.

“What? I don’t get anything? Am I invisible?” Finn asked his dad pointing his hands towards him. “No, my dear boy, you’re not but may I remind you that you have to drive?” He hit Finn playfully on the arm with a damp rag. Rae laughed, she loved to see  the both of them play around, they had such a strong bond.


“You’ll phone me when you land, right?” Izzy asked chop with her hands clenching his shirt.

“I promise, babygirl. As soon as I put one foot on the ground,you’ll be the first person I ring.” He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, just held her for a long time.

Archie was saying goodbye to his parents, his mom with tears in her eyes saying ‘my baby’ over and over again.

“Oh, would you stop it woman! You’re smothering him, he’ll be back in a week. Honestly, I don’t know what you’re gonna do when he leaves for months.” said Archie’s dad literally prying her from Archie. The Nelson men weren’t too good with their heartfelt words so Juliette did most of the talking. Telling him that they were so proud of him and that wherever she was, Nan was proud of him too. Finn’s dad just nodded in agreement with everything Juliette was saying before actually pulling Finn in for a hug.

“I’ll see you guys soon, a week will fly by. I’ll be back before you know it and then we can have our proper goodbyes.” Finn hugged each of them before walking over to Rae who was sitting near the store with the neck pillows and blankets. The intercom buzzed and it let them know that their nonstop flight to Manchester was now boarding.

“Shit, I thought I’d have more time.” said Finn a little disappointed.

“It’s okay, I’ll see you in a week Finnley. Have fun and be safe.” He kissed her, it was shorter than he wanted it to be but it would have to do.

“Call me when you land, no matter the time.” She grabbed his face.

“I love you, girl.” he said with his forehead pressed to hers.

“I love you too. Now, go. You’re gonna miss your flight -” Her hands dropped down to his and she squeezed them, “This is it.” He smiled at her and kissed her quickly when they announced the final boarding call. She watched him board that plane with the biggest grin. This was his dream, this was gonna be his life from now on. She looked over to where his dad and Juliette were standing and he couldn’t be a prouder father. Juliette saw her looking at them and she winked at Rae. They all left the airport and went their separate ways. She sat in her mom’s car for a while, with a hand on the steering wheel and one holding her head as she leaned against the window. She sighed heavily as she watched planes take off not sure if they were the one Finn and the boys were in. She closed her eyes for a minute and then proceeded to turn on the car and drive away.

For now, she needed to be alone. He hadn’t even been gone hours and hours and she felt she couldn’t breathe.  She drove towards the park that Finn and her would go to all the time, with the tree in the middle of the park whose leaves fell in a slow motion way. She parked the car and got out. Locking it and shoving the keys into her bag. She sat underneath the tree and she started to quietly sob, she put her hands to her face and just let the tears fall. All she could think of was what Rosie had told her, to try it out this week to see what it would be like, but it had now been about two hours that she left the airport and she felt she couldn’t do it. Is this what she was gonna feel like everytime he left  and would the feeling subside? Or was it going to be a constant pain in the center of her chest like she was feeling now? She couldn’t find a way to see how this could work. She couldn’t be in California and him in Europe. Him cheating never crossed her mind, she wasn’t worried about that. She trusted him. It was the uncertainty of not knowing how he would feel months after not seeing her face to face. Would the love he had for her die out slowly with the passing of each month? They were questions that ran through her mind so fast it made her dizzy. They were questions she didn’t have answers to and she wasn’t sure if she even wanted answers. She just didn’t wanna live her life like this. They loved each other but was it enough?



The days of the week passed and he emailed her pictures of him with the boys in different parts of the city, with different people, doing various things. He looked so incredibly happy in the pictures. Rae though his cheeks would burst from that ear to ear smile.That entire week was a blur for Rae, she felt disoriented and her decision weighed heavy on her shoulders. She had barely eaten anything all week. She avoided conversations with her family, and Linda was beginning to worry. She turned out invitations from Izzy and Chloe to do stuff and work just seemed to pass by her. Rosie could tell that something was wrong but she wouldn’t say anything. She would smile empathetically every time Rae looked at her but that was it. On the day that the boys were getting back, she didn’t even bother to get herself ready, she honestly didn’t have it in her. As she drove to the airport, she tried to convince herself to rethink things .To not make such rash decisions but when Finn got in the car and told her about how much fun he had and how excited he was to start playing, she knew it was the right thing to do.She smiled at what he told her and nodded now and then with a few “mmhm’s,wow’s and that so cool’s, i’m so happy for you’s” Finn didn’t notice that her smile wasn’t genuine and she didn’t blame him, he was so excited. She dropped him off at his house so he could get some rest from his trip and they promised they would see each other later. Rae nodded and kissed him on the cheek. Finn got his things from the trunk. Rae watched him go inside before she drove off. She decided to go back home,she went inside and Arielle greeted her with her arms up in the air as an indication that she wanted to be picked up but Rae just patted her head.  Linda and Karim watched her go up the stairs followed by the slam of a door.

“I’m worried about that one.” said Linda to Karim.

“Maybe, she just feels sick or something.” he answered.

“I don’t know, maybe, but somethings up.”

Rae laid down and put a pillow over her face.She fell asleep for a few hours until she was woken up by the ringing of her phone inside her bag. She dragged herself out of bed and rubbed her eyes. It was a text from Finn asking her to come over. It has to be today, no reason to drag this out more, she thought. She went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She went downstairs and asked if she could borrow the car to drive to Finn’s. Linda said yes, she was going to Finn’s it wasn’t a big deal and it was no longer a school night. She got into the car ,sure of what she was about to to do.She waited for a while, building up the courage before she finally got out of the car. She rang the doorbell and sat down on the stairs. He opened the door with a huge smile. “Come in.”he told her but she said no. He furrowed his eyebrows and closed the door behind him. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand but she pulled away. It was weird to him, the way she pulled away from him it was like she was afraid.

“Alright love, out with it. What’s wrong? You’ve been weird today” he said.

She sniffled and wiped the tear coming from her right eye. He tried to put his arm around her and she froze. “Please don’t” she said softly.

“What’s this about, Rae? Talk to me.”

She looked into his chocolate colored eyes that were now filled with worry and uncertainty.

“I love you, Finn.”

“I love you too, but please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I have dreams Finn.” He didn’t quite understand what she meant and he let her continue.

“I have dreams, goals. Things I want to accomplish in life. I wanna be a doctor and help people, I wanna travel the world. I want to have a family someday and I want to see you live out your dreams.”

“I know you do and I support you in all of that. You know it. And I’m gonna be right there with you through it all. Now what is this really about?” he asked almost pleading.

“It’s about us Finn.”

“What about us? You’re starting to scare me.” She got up from the stairs and stood with her back towards him.

“I’m not what you need Finn, I’m no cut out for this.” Tears streamed down her face and hit the pavement.

“What are you talking about? You’re exactly what I need. You’re all I’ll ever need. Rae, please don’t do this” he said.

“I’m not like those women, Finn. I realized that the day of the party. I just can’t be your girlfriend or your wife who is miles and miles from you. I can’t live my life behind you. I can’t sit at home and not have a career just because my husband makes millions. I don’t care about the money. I want you to live your dream and be happy because I know what it means to you.”

“I don’t want you to be like those women. I want you to be you. You can go to school in England, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a scholarship. I’ll pay all the money in the world if it means that we can live our dreams together. I want you to have your own life. I want this but I don’t want it if you’re not there with me.” His voice was getting louder and he was trying not to yell.

“No, I don’t care about the money. I don’t want it! I worked hard for this. I can’t change my plans. I can’t throw scholarships away and my dreams and goals. You’re gonna be miles away, what am I supposed to do? It wouldn’t work! I’d spend hours at school and you hours at practice and out of the country for games. It wouldn’t work. I can’t do it. I can’t move, I’ve already accepted the offer and I start school in the fall.” His eyes burned holes into her.

“Then I won’t go! I’ll go to California with you, I’ll call the whole thing off right now. Just say the word and I’ll make the call” he was desperate, his hands has begun to shake.

“Are you insane? I don’t want you to do that. Football makes you happy. It’s what you love and you’re chasing this dream with your best friends. I would never in a million years ask you to give up your dreams for me.Just like you wouldn’t ask me to give up my dreams.”

The tears kept falling from both of their eyes and Finn wiped his nose with his sleeve.

“I’ll come visit you every chance I get, we can make this work, Rae. Just please, please don’t leave me.” he begged. Rae couldn’t get the words out so she just shook her head.

“Rae, what are you telling me right now?” he asked her anxiously.

“I’m saying…I think it’s best if we end this now. We can be friends.”

“What? No, look at me” he walked over to her and lifted her face to look at him.

“You are everything to me, Rae. We belong together and you know it. You’re the only person who knows me.The good, the bad, the ugly. I can’t lose ya. Tell me what to do and i’ll do it, I don’t bloody care. I want none of this, if you aren’t with me.”  She pulled away from him.

“It’s better this way Finn, it is. You don’t see it now but you’ll realize it. This is already killing me. Please don’t make it any harder than it already is. This is the right thing to do.” she said softly, her voice trailing off into tears. She pulled her keys out from her pocket and stood before him. “I’ll always love you, You treated me better than anybody else in the world.” She kissed his cheek and walked away. She got into her car and locked the door thinking he would run after her but he didn’t. He stood there frozen unable to believe that this had really happened. That in 15 minutes, his entire life came undone.


When Rae got home she slammed the front door and ran upstairs causing Linda to become alarmed. She shut her door and locked it and threw herself on to her bed.The pillow pushed against the wall was the pillow Finn always slept with. She grabbed it and it smelled like him still.What have I done? she thought to herself. Finn was the only man she had ever been with, the only boy she had ever truly loved.She believed it was the best thing for them but it felt like someone had ripped out her soul.She sobbed into her pillow over and over ignoring the knocks on the door by Linda. She wanted to be alone, she couldn’t look at her mom right now. Linda gave up after the fifth knock.


It had begun to rain and Finn was still sitting outside. Not a care in the world about the rain. Did that just happen? he thought to himself. He couldn’t believe it. Gary opened the door to find his son sitting on the stairs in the rain.
“Finn?” asked Gary. And when Finn looked at him, he felt his heart sink. His son’s face covered in tears and raindrops. “Come on,my boy” he said and grabbed him by the shoulders and took him inside. Juliette was coming out of the kitchen when she saw them.

“Oh my god, what happened?” she asked frantically

“Rae..I..she..she broke up with me” were the only words that came out of his mouth.

Gary and Juliette looked at each other in disbelief. Was Finn drunk?

“She left me” Finn whispered to himself.

“I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding, Finn. She loves you. Did you two fight?” asked Juliette.

“No, she just told me she wasn’t what I needed and she kept pulling away from me everytime I tried to hold her, like..like she was scared of me” he said breathlessly.

“She said that she couldn’t live her life behind me, that she had dreams and goals and that she couldn’t throw them away. That it would never work with us being miles away.”

Gary hadn’t seen Finn cry so hard, not even when his Nan died. He usually just suppressed feelings like this.

“I’m so sorry, Finn” his dad held him as Finn cried quietly, “I’m so so sorry.”

“I don’t get it, how am I supposed to live without her? we’re supposed to be together da, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.”

“Do you know where she is? Want me to talk to her?” Juliette asked.

“She’s home but no it’s okay, she had her mind made up.” It really hurt Juliette to see him like this, she loved him like a son and she knew that heartbreak was hell, she hoped he never felt that pain. Finn excused himself and went upstairs. Gary and Juliette stood at the bottom watching him go up in slow motion.She placed her head on his shoulder and he hugged her tightly.


Rae had made herself sick from crying so much. She wanted to call her friends but she knew Izzy would be with Chop and Chloe,Rae loved Chloe so much but she was truly shit at being comforting and her mom would tell her to be a big girl and breathe. She called Rosie. The phone call didn’t last more than 30 seconds when Rosie told her she was on her way. Half an hour passed and there was a doorbell and then a knock on her door. She opened the door and pulled Rosie in.

“Mama, what happened? I mean, why?” Rosie asked.

“I couldn’t handle the week with him being away, I took your advice and tried it but it was too much. I..I just thought it was best” she said as she sniffled.

“You two have always been busy people, but you make it work baby.”

“But it was different, we lived in the same place, we went to school together. He’s moving, I’m moving. I’ll never see him.” Rosie rocked Rae back and forth as she cried.

“But look at you, this is killing you. You think that this is the right thing but what y’all have is special. I know I questioned it what you guys would do but the day he picked up from work. The look in his eye, Rae, he would do anything for you. He loves you like you love him.”

“What did I do, Rosie? I broke the heart of the only person who has ever loved me” Rae bawled into Rosie’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, I love you! Your family, your friends.” Rosie said.

“You know what I mean, Rose.”

“He still loves you, he didn’t stop from then to now. Call him and tell him you didn’t mean it.”

“I can’t. I did mean it. It’s better this way and you know it. I’m trying to do the right thing but I didn’t know it would be this hard. I can’t be his little wife, who just cheers for him in the stands. The women that these men are married too, I told you. They’re terrible people and I don’t wanna  be like that. They don’t care if their husbands cheat or anything. They have no lives. I love Finn with my entire being but I have my own dreams. I know who I wanna be and they’re not it. If that’s what he needs, I’m not it” Rae’s voice had taken a little aggressive tone.

“What did I tell you, fuck those women! You’re you, they’re them.” Rosie understood where Rae was coming from, but she also knew that she loved Finn so much to not be with him.

Rae could only look at her no words came out. Rosie got up and walked around.

“It’ll never work! It’s easier this way” Rae said.

Rosie grabbed the phone from Rae’s dresser and looked through it. She pulled up Finn’s number and put it in front of Rae, all she had to do was press call.

“You love each other, make it work.”  She looked up at Rosie as she held the phone in front of her.



At Finn’s,  Gary has taken the matter into his own hands. He called Archie, Finn’s oldest friend. He was like a son to Gary and  a brother to Finn. When Archie got there he made his way up to Finn’s room and opened the door. He looked at Finn is disbelief. He was laying on the bed with his face to the wall in his clothes wet from the rain. Archie sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Finn’s arm. Finn turned to look at him and then put a pillow over his head. Archie didn’t say anything, he waited until Finn wanted to speak.

“We belong together, Arch. This isn’t supposed to happen” Finn’s voice was muffled through the pillow.

“What did she say?” Archie asked and Finn took the pillow of his face and sighed.

“That she isn’t cut out of this. That she has her own dreams and that she can’t just sit at home while I live out mine.”

“You can’t hold that against her, Finn, she’s allowed to have her own dreams.”

“I don’t! Not at all, That’s what I love about her that she’s so ambitious and driven.”

“You have to understand that we are gonna be pretty busy up there, Finn. Maybe it is for the best.” Finn couldn’t believe his ears. Archie had always been their number one fan.

“What?” he asked shocked.

“Well, there’s nothing saying that you guys can’t be together in a few years when you’re lives are settled and your careers have taken off. Maybe she’s right. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her or that she doesn’t love you. You are just putting your own well being first and that’s not a bad thing. Try to understand where she’s coming from. She doesn’t want you to hate her if it doesn’t work out right now. Be reasonable” Archie said.

Finn looked at Archie. He had a point. He hadn’t seen it in Rae’s point of view. He knew she would never hurt him this way unless she thought it was the correct thing to do. He would be understanding, if this is what needed to happen, he would let it happen no matter how much it hurt. He loved her enough to not make this any harder for her.

His phone started to ring and Archie answered it.

“It’s Rae” Archie said as he handed the phone to him.

“Hey, girl” he said.

“Finn, I-” she cried, before he cut her off.

“I just wanna say something first okay?”

“Okay…” she said.

“I understand where you’re coming from now and I know that this was really hard for you. I want you to know that I support you no matter what you ever do, and I’m always gonna love ya. You’re gonna live out your dreams and I’ll live out mine. I’m gonna move to Manchester and play and finish out my contract and maybe in a few years we can be  together. If this is what you need, I’ll give it to you. I love you enough to let you go, if that’s what you want” he sighed deeply.

She didn’t know what to say, she knew deep down it wouldn’t work and the fact that he was so understanding made it hurt more. She almost wished he would hate her for breaking his heart.

“I love you, Rae. You are so important to me and that will never change.”

She managed to get out, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, what’s meant to be will be.” He pressed end and threw himself back into his pillow.

“And, you say you’re not good with speaking” teased Archie and Finn threw a pillow at him.

He sat down next to Finn, “It’s gonna be okay, mate. It’ll be alright.”


“Well?” Rosie asked.

“He thinks it’s best too” she cried and Rosie held her. She stayed with her until she cried herself to sleep and Archie with Finn.