I decided to reupload this (deleted it in the frenzy about blogs getting deleted etc). It’s Radioheads Pyramid Song, bits of a 800% slowed-down version and Rain/Thunder added (got the idea to make this from a youtube comment).
Please listen if you want to experience something truly magical.
Just want to say that I have been more blessed than ever with you guys’ patience. I have finals coming up and have to work my ass off for it, but with your support I know I’ll make it. I’m soon giving away something special so stay tuned for that! I am also happy to announce that I am writing again - never stopped. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Make a cup of tea, put on some music and breathe. Enjoy. I love you.
Song with this chapter:
“Jane, you are looking so beautiful today” I commented as I saw her walking down the stairs. She nervously giggled and spun around so I could examine her new dress. It had a colorful flowery pattern on it which would drive your attention to it easily. It really brought the green in her eyes to daylight and it was magical.
“You like it?” She then asked while walking towards me. I nodded and stood up, placing my hands on her shoulder. I could feel her bones sticking to my hands and I was afraid that a single movement of me could break them.
“You look wonderful” I breathed out in which she looked down, not wanting me to see that her cheeks turned red. I saw it anyhow.
I then kissed her cheek and slowly lowered my kisses, but she soon stopped me. I glanced up at her and she was biting her lip, so I thought she might have been enjoying it. I continued to lower my kisses and slowly sneaked my hand under her dress, until she suddenly stopped me and pulled me up. I looked at her and she crossed her arms.
“I thought we had agreed on something” she then said and looked at me with a stern expression on her face. “I don’t want it until we are married”
“I know” I replied and let go of her, in which she laughed sarcastically.
“Is that such a big deal? I had to put up with you when you were still an addict! I had to make the biggest sacrifices in the world!” she spat in which I turned to face her. This kind of behavior actually shocked me, mostly because I was afraid that things would escalate.
“Why are you being like this? I told you it’s fine” I said calmly in which she walked to the kitchen. I followed her and saw her grabbing some milk from the fridge.
“I am being honest. If you stayed with that Angie girl, you would have never gotten out of your addiction. You’d probably be dead right now!”
“Stop it!” I then shouted, roughly grabbing her arm and digging my nails into her skin very deeply, all the while when I felt something snapping inside of me.
“You don’t talk about her like that. Ever”
I saw tears forming in her eyes and I then let go of her. I saw I made a mark on it and couldn’t help but feel guilty anyways.
“John..” she then said, barely making any sound. It was hard for me to return to the real world because I felt so struck.
“Are you still in love with her?”
I then looked at her and by that look, she knew enough, I wasn’t potentially trying to tell her anything- I barely knew the answer it myself, but somewhere deep down in me.. it was screaming. It was trying to grab anyone’s attention.
I finally managed to escape from my overwhelming thoughts, so I looked around the room and noticed that Jane was gone.
Jane was gone.
I tried my best not to sound or look suspicious to anyone. Nobody must know what happened between John and I. It was the last time we’d ever do such thing. I was flooded with guilt that I had created and felt like I couldn’t rely on myself anymore. I knew Jane was making him happier than I was. I knew she was keeping him on the right track, and that’s honestly all that matters. I am so troubled and it would just be unfair if I would distract him from his being. He was trying his best to make the most out of his life and I knew that I would only grant him problems. Even though I missed him, every second of the day.
There was something that was strangling me. Something was putting such a pressure on my chest that I have a hard time breathing normally and keeping a consistent rhythm. Even though I had Anthony, somebody who I hold very close to my heart and will never forget for his good deeds, I was still feeling abandoned and unloved. I think that’s what happens when a person doesn’t even love themselves. You become so worked up in your problems that you aren’t willing to take a break and just breathe. It is time to start looking for my soul instead of letting it be found by others.
I was having nightmares again. I would wake up screaming and sweaty, only to be comforted by Anthony again. He would softly run his fingers through my hair and slowly push me closer to him, his arms wrapped around my fragile looking body. I would take a deep trembling breath and press my forehead against his chest, trying to copy the beat of his heart.
We were walking on the beach while the waves were crashing beside us. It was a beautiful sight. The light of the moon fell perfectly on the waves, causing them to glister and shimmer. My eyes couldn’t leave the beautiful view.
“It’s beautiful, hm?” Anthony wondered and I nodded. He suddenly stopped walking which caused me to stop too. I turned around and saw Anthony smiling shyly at me.
“Angie,” he began and grabbed my hands. He examined my face and slowly placed his hand on my cheek. I could see that he was struggling. He had that kind of spark in his eyes, but I didn’t know if it was sadness or something else. He was going to say something but he then stopped, and it went on for a couple minutes like that. He was lost for words, I could tell, but I was just worried that he might have found out about John and me. My breathing quickened because of the thought and my hands started to shake. Anthony noticed and he looked worried,
“Are you okay?” he asked and I nodded,
“Ye-yes, don’t worry. What were you going to say?” I asked and Anthony looked me deeply in the eyes.
“Angie what’s bothering you? I can just tell it from the look of your face” Anthony continued and I sighed, managing to swallow the big lump in my throat.
“It is nothing, I just.. I love you” the last three words made Anthony’s face lit up. He smiled and nodded.
“Angie, we’ve known each other since we were little. And how cliche this all may sound, I have loved you since I first laid my eyes on you. I couldn’t wish for anyone better than you. We both had our times of up and down, but those times only made us stronger. It only made us grow to each other more. It’s so surreal that we both have our life on track again. I want you to be mines forever. Just think about it. We have our own place. Imagine if we have little Angie’s and Anthony’s running around the house..”
The way he said that made me giggle and Anthony even chuckled himself.
“Angie,” Anthony then slowly let go of my hands and sat on one knee. I widened my eyes as soon as realization hit me. He revealed a little satin box and opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. The light of the moon fell perfectly on it, making it shine even brighter.
“Will you marry me?”
I covered my mouth with my hands as I stared in disbelief. I couldn’t bring out a word. I thought of everything that we had gone through together. The love, the hate, the joy, the pain, the sex..
Anthony looked at me with pleading eyes. I loved him too. But making this big of a commitment.. I just didn’t know if I was ready. I looked at the sea and prayed it would take me away. I began panicking, looking around me for any possible places I could run to or just get away. My mind was going crazy and I felt sick.
Anthony told me to take a breath and I really tried my best to calm down, but I was just so struck. I opened my eyes and saw John standing behind Anthony. His big brown eyes staring at me with such a plead. It was like he needed my help. He then slowly faded away and I shook my head, knowing it was just an imagination. I accepted the fact that John and I will never be a thing..
“Yes” I suddenly whispered, barely audible, in which Anthony stood up and hugged me tightly. I placed a lot of kisses on his cheek, causing him to smile. He then shoved the ring around my finger and I looked at him.
“I love you” Anthony said and I didn’t realize I was crying until he slowly wept away my tears.
“I love you too” I replied, and then we kissed.
updating soon again (: let me know what you think!
Echo Collective plays ‘Pyramid Song’ (by Radiohead)
Echo Collective have toured the world as ‘backing band’ to neo-classical band A Winged Victory For The Sullen, they recently appeared on stage at AB in Brussels as string ensemble with Blixa Bargeld (Einstürzende Neubauten), who had noted that he thought the ensemble was fantastic.
At the request of AB, Echo Collective also reworked Radiohead’s ‘Amnesiac’ for a complete live rendition of the album during indoor festival BRDCST. This is their moving performance of ‘Pyramid song’.
Pyramid Song by Radiohead What a bloody beautiful song, yet another Radiohead song that makes me feel like I’m somewhere else. Thom Yorke’s voice is a fucking angel taking me to some unknown place I swear.