Pablo Honey: You don’t like Radiohead.
The Bends: You’re just a chill dude who likes to rock out and have a good time and wish life could be like it was in the 90s when people were making real music instead of this emotionless techno polluting the airwaves.
OK Computer: You want Jonny Greenwood to use you the way he uses that telecaster with that sticker from that volleyball anime that you watched just to feel closer to him and his avant-garde genius and beautiful jellyfish bangs. Thom Yorke is your real dad.
Kid A: You literally masturbate to Pitchfork articles and break down into tears every time you hear a G major chord on an organ.
Amnesiac: You know what time signature Pyramid Song is in.
Hail to the Thief: You read 1984 in high school and now it’s the only book you recommend. You like Banksy.
In Rainbows: “The word ‘hipster’ is actually a slur”
The King of Limbs: While you do enjoy Anthony Fantano’s reviews, you don’t always agree with his opinions. You hate nuclear power.