highlights from the falsettos talk that happened at the theatre in my town:

  • falsettos is officially going to premiere on pbs october 27th at 9pm
  • william finn goes by bill and is a true character
  • stephanie j block is human perfection
  • james lapine is such a smart director and speaks very eloquently
  • bill is an old grouchy adorable man who would never have answers for the moderator but would sometimes interrupt to say very bizarre and/or hilarious things
  • for certain scenes (like the racketball scene), william finn wrote the music and brought it to james lapine without lyrics and james would stage the scene before the lyrics were written, which would influence what finn ended up writing 
  • at one point, stephanie j block would pretend to cut off her finger during im breaking down and it wasnt until tech that they …cut that part (lol)
  • stephanie j block was amazing and sang a whole set
  • stephanie j block, andrew rannells, leslie odom jr, and sutton foster (w jonathan groff) are all going to be recording hour long concert specials with live from lincoln center

anyways the whole night was fantastic and I got audio i’ll be cutting up of the panel taking about different songs and the writing process and other interesting tidbits, as well as stephanie’s set so be on the lookout for that!! 

communities are trade-offs

i was thinking about why some people tend to feel natural in communities and others tend to not, and i decided that the difference comes down to some people experiencing community as something that takes from them, and others experiencing it as something that gives. and this makes sense. a community is kind of like an emotional collective, where people put a bit of themselves in and get this big emotional gift basket out that satisfies a lot of needs.

but if someone doesn’t get something back from the community (or the community requires disproportionate deprivation), they experience community mostly as an act of sacrifice. which is how you end up with apostates of all kinds. to use a somewhat tired example, an atheist experiences their family’s christian community as something that demands that they compromise many aspects of themselves (their intellectual development, a sexual orientation, who knows) in order to get those benefits of belonging (people who’ve known you since you were young, people to make meals when you are sick, people to confide in, etc). whereas that atheist’s grandmother experiences the community in such a reliably positive way that it makes sense that following its rules should be a reflexive duty. it’s worth it.

a community doesn’t have to be circumscribed by something as legible as religion for the dynamic i just described to exist. all that is required is that there be a group of people with some set of rules (however tacit and however benevolent) for membership. subcultures are hugely codified. 

so if someone doesn’t tend to fit in with communities, what this really means is that the balance of effort to benefit is repeatedly off in some way. that can because they’re an alien, and almost any belonging requires an unbearable degree of compromise. or it can be because they’re a sociopath (or perhaps merely extremely independent) and don’t value or need whatever it is that communities give. the end result either way is that over time the person categorizes community as ‘not worth it’ or even ‘not important.’

people talk about engineering better communities a lot these days, or lament the loss of more traditional, bygone communities. and these discussions seem to always talk up the benefits of communities, in a way that is almost annoyingly unnecessary because no matter how many embittered suspicions a given person has, the benefits are fairly obvious.

people talk about how important it is to foster community, but few talk about what being in a community requires of people, and whether or not those requirements are worth it or why they stopped being worth it and how to make them worth it again. a community’s rules don’t have to be evil to be costly. maybe you like the people who hang out at the local sports club, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth it to you to spend every evening playing racketball and going for drinks afterwards, and that’s what’s necessary to really belong. but it does make sense that cults are so seductive, because (among other reasons) there’s something really reassuring about having such clear-cut rules to follow in order to achieve belonging, no matter how abusive or ideologically batshit the community ultimately is.

If Ryuken and Masaki were locked in a room...

As requested by anon. :)

Let’s try again with this list that died a sad death last Thursday. What if Ishida’s dad and Ichigo’s mom were locked in a room to talk? How would that conversation go?

Masaki: Hi!!!

Ryuken: …

Ryuken: And here people told me that by abandoning my son to an evil army, I would surely incur the wrath of the gods.

Ryuken: Clearly I am being rewarded instead.

Masaki: …you abandoned your son to what now?

Ryuken: Never mind.

Ryuken: It is good to see you again. How are you?

Masaki: Well, you know, dead.

Masaki: Eaten by Yhwach, the god of the Quincy.

Masaki: But who knows? Maybe when Ichigo defeats and kills him, I and Katagiri will be released.

Masaki: That would be nice.

Ryuken: Yes. It would.

Masaki: But never mind that.

Masaki: There is something more important that we need to discuss.

Ryuken: More important than the death of the man trying to destroy the universe?

Masaki: Yes. Far more.

Masaki: So, Ryuken.

Masaki: Were you in love with me back when we were teenagers?

Ryuken: W-what??

Masaki: I knew it! I knew it!

Masaski: You’re BLUSHING!

Ryuken: I am not! I don’t blush!

Masaki: I recognize that little flustered blushing face!

Ryuken: This is a flush of SURPRISE, woman!

Masaki: Admit it! You had a crush on me!

Ryuken: Well, we were engaged!

Ryuken: It would have been a tad inconvenient if I had had no interest in…

Ryuken: …

Ryuken: But then, that was your problem, wasn’t it? A complete lack of interest in me?

Masaki: I cared about you a lot, Ryuken!

Masaki: But no. I didn’t love you. And I was never entirely on board with marrying just to preserve the Quincy race.

Masaki: As, uh, romantic as that sounded. 

Ryuken: You loved Isshin.

Masaki: You don’t have to spit his name like that. Makes you seem a tad jealous.

Ryuken: My dislike of that man is not because I believe he “stole” you or any such nonsense.

Ryuken: He’s just, so….

Ryuken: Isshin about everything.

Ryuken: He likes to break into my office. In order to show me pictures of his children.

Ryuken: Who does that?

Masaki: Maybe he’s lonely and proud of his kids.

Masaki: You are one of the only people left who knows who he really is.

Masaki: And he’s one of the only people left who knows what really happened to Katagiri.

Ryuken: And yet mutual tragedy does not make for the surest base of a friendship.

Ryuken: Especially not in the case of someone who is so……annoying.

Ryuken: No offense.

Masaki: None taken! I’m only sad for your sake!

Masaki: I liked to imagine you guys would bro it up after you were widowed.

Ryuken: Bro it up…?

Masaki: You know, play racketball together. Go to brunch. High five.

Ryuken: You have met me.

Masaki: I know! The image always makes me giggle a lot!

Masaki: Oh man, I miss being alive and getting to see you and Isshin.

Masaki: My two boys!

Masaki: Do you remember those sweaters you used to wear? Why don’t you still wear them?

Ryuken: They do not command respect so much as….awws.

Masaki: Yeah, they were great.

Masaki: Well, just promise me one thing!

Masaki: When our sons defeat Yhwach, you, Isshin, Katagiri and I have a lunch date in the afterlife, okay?

Ryuken: That would be good.

Masaki: Then it’s a date!

Learn from me Ladies: Never go easy on a boy!


I will be the first to admit that I made Power Within mistake numero uno:

I played easy on a boy and LOST!!!

I posted earlier how I have been playing racquetball with my boyfriend lately and we are VERY competitive with each other.  I’m sure it would be very humorous to watch from the outside but we are the worst to each other once we step onto the court.  We laugh at each others mistake, throw fits if we mess up, and often try to hit each other with the ball with returning it to the server.  It gets PRETTY MESSY in there!  With that being said, you can see why I am very upset from losing a best out of 3 series. 

It happened last Tuesday, we were playing doubles with a few other friends, and decided to stick around a play a round between the two of us.  Well it happened to be that my arch enemy was wearing his “street” Nike’s, and from all the shifting and moving around, started to get a big blister on his big toe by the third game.  At the time we had a 1 to 1 match and we were playing best out of 3. 

This is getting me SO upset even just typing this… but after his complaining and moaning of how he couldn’t run because of his toe, I felt bad a let up a little.

WHY?  you might ask.

I’m not sure!  I was ahead 13-10 (first to 15 wins), and I guess I thought I had it in the bag. But what actually happened is that I let go of my ambition, wasn’t playing at 100%, and got lazy.  I was on my heels not in a ready, position, and since I was playing easy was able to hit the ball right at him.  Of course he wasn’t doing the same, and he would hit the ball which way and that, making me run and sprint at a laid back position.  I ended up losing 15-14!

I was SOOO mad at him and his stupid blister, but mostly at myself for being fooled by such a thing!!!

Please learn from my mistake and always do your best! Just remember this quote,

“winning isn’t everything but wanting to win is”