racing sausage

Six dangerous libraries

1. A library packed with secret doors; every bookcase having its own special book that can be levered backwards to swing out some secret panel or other, behind which you inevitably find another room of the library; that room also being replete with rotating stacks or trapdoors or suchlike. As you travel through, the books become stranger. Here there is a narrow chimney of notebooks in metallic blue, filled out with octal numbers in a neat cursive. A wood-panelled hallway contains a seventy-volume treatise on the scientific illustration of cephalopods. Here a spiral staircase hemmed in on both sides by books so angry that they are barely coherent. At the bottom of the staircase a manhole cover that one may lever up to find a shallow blue pool surrounded by sorrowful memoirs. Eventually one comes to the library’s heart, where all paths but one lead; an unremarkable octagonal chamber lined with unpublished stories by Borges. There is no way out of this room, which is haunted at night by laughter from above.

2. They say trees, who are wont to consider their deaths on occasion over their lifetime’s long dreaming, have two views of libraries. The first library of the dreams of trees is a respectful memorial, sombre and learned. The second is that of untimely tree-death, pulped novels, hateful tracts; a lurid charnel-house of mixed-up tree-flesh. There have been times when the trees decided that some library or other had become the physical representation of the second dream. It is not wise to be in a library when this happens. Trees are slow in their revenge, but implacable.

3. There are also places where the world’s more debatable books flee to avoid being pulped. Vast bookeries of them roost under motorway bridges and in the eaves of power stations. This is where the coverless textbooks of yesteryear flap off to, and software manuals three versions out of date, and the disreputable autobiographies of the long-forgotten, and cracked-spine conspiracy books of all sorts. In the oldest corners one may find great rustling stands of Victorian sheet music. Although they are not actively harmful to humans, they have not forgotten that humanity no longer means them well. And there are other things that bed down with them too, things that have promised to faithfully read them in exchange for protection, and those things are best avoided.

4. One way that one may dispel a dangerous spirit is to catch it in a book, making it into a harmless story. Some of the worst dreams of humankind have been captured in this way. There have been cases, however, when the process went wrong, leaving various nightmares half-in and half-out of books. A small library located five hundred metres below Samarkand collects these books as a service to the world. Should you find the tunnel down to its entrance, you will be able to identify it by the banging and scraping noises, which are audible from a significant distance away. We do not recommend entering.

5. Connoisseurs of sausages may be interested in the small libraries installed in select butchers’ shops for the schooling of the sausage race. These libraries take as input various types of minced meat and casings, and produce as output fully-formed, educated sausages ready for the outside world. It is not certain as to whether books are involved at any stage in the process. It is possible that the sausage we consulted about this matter may have supplied us with a fake CV.

6. Of course there are also those who regard all of you as a book of sorts. Though you are subject to informational decay, the electric knots of humanity’s billions of meat brains constitutes an important galactic information repository. This is why licensed alien abductors have to fill out an inter-library loan form and agree to return abductees to within a millennium or so of when they got them out.

Aight, So, The Sausage Cypher

So my post about the sausage cypher is blowing up

A few house keeping items: 

If you are defending twelve year old girls and boys having sex, get the fuck out of my followers. Obviously there are videos where the girls are much older, great! Sexual freedom! Yay! Live your lives! You are at or above the lawfully appropriate age to begin having sexual relations legally! Cool! Much support! Be safe and be smart! 

However, in regards to the much younger girls, I stand by my words: 

Middle schoolers should not be singing about having sex. It is damaging whether you agree with me or not. If you took the time out to ask women who are comfortable with discussing the fact that they had sex around those ages, or younger, many of them will talk about the negative effects it had on them— whether it was abuse, consensual (and what does consent really mean when you are twelve?) and otherwise. It has nothing to do with purity either. It has to do with the law, children and their psychological development, and protecting the innocence of our children for as long as possible. Children should be free to be children, not burdened with hyper-sexual messaging that leads them to believe in order to be cool and popular they need to be singing songs about dicks at school instead playing jump rope or jacks.

It’s about sexual readiness and the ability to consent. 

As I mentioned before, women who had sexual experiences young will in most cases agree— not knowing what they were getting themselves into, not knowing how to work through those experiences because they were not mentally prepared, those were not fun times for them at ten, eleven, twelve years of age. 

I can’t believe I have to say it: stop defending children having sex. 

 It’s. Not. Okay. Ever. 

Also, don’t get me started on why this particular trend may be being deemed socially acceptable because most, if not all, of these young girls in these videos are young BLACK girls and inherently deemed sexual creatures REGARDLESS of age in our society. 

Black childhood erasure is REAL. These are the same concepts that lead to Tamir Rice being considered a GROWN MAN and Mo’ne Davis being called a SLUT.

…I love you and therefore it is my job to educate you on the things that you do not know, as it is yours to educate me on mine. To forge the connections between the things you may not see, when the world has made you blind… 

Brothers and sisters, read between the lines. Pay attention to what gains viral status and what doesn’t. It matters.

*AND ONE MORE THING, BEFORE YOU TRY TO COME AT ME ON SOME ACADEMIC, FEMINIST SHIT… I MAJORED IN WOMEN AND GENDER STUDIES, FOCUSED IN CULTURAL STUDIES AND I KNOW SOME BIG WORDS, TOO. I’M HOOD AS HELL, BUT I KNOW SOME THINGS. I AM ALWAYS LEARNING AND ALWAYS WILLING TO LEARN, HOWEVER IF YOU HIT ME UP ON SOME “SWERVE, um..K SWEETIE :) I’M EDUMACATED AND I’M ABOUT TO #POWN UR RACHET ASS” SHIT, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO CLAP BACK W/ A VENGEANCE. I HAVE HELD BACK THUS FAR BECAUSE Y’ALL DON’T KNOW ME. AFTER THIS POST I WILL PUT YOUR ASK’S ON BLAST IF YOU’RE STILL TRYNA GO. :)

BUT BE FAIR WARNED–AS A BLACK, QUEER, WOMAN OF COLOR  I AM FAMILIAR WITH INTERSECTIONALITY AND THE ROLE IT PLAYS WITHIN MY WOMANHOOD AND THE ROLE IT PLAYS WITHIN THE CONFINES OF MY CULTURE. I WILL BE THE AUTHORITY OF MY EXPERIENCE AND MINE ALONE AND YOU WILL RESPECT ME. DO NOT ASSUME I AM UNEDUCATED AND DO NOT ASSUME THOSE WHO HAVE NOT HAD FORMAL EDUCATION ARE INCAPABLE OF EDUCATING THEMSELVES. 

**I AM NOT ATTEMPTING TO SUPPRESS OR CONTROL ANOTHER WOMAN’S SEXUALITY OR SEXUAL FREEDOM. I AM BRINGING ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT THESE YOUNG GIRLS ARE NOT WOMEN, THEY ARE CHILDREN, AND THEREFORE THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF OUR PEOPLE TO BE PROTECTED AND GUIDED AT ALL COSTS.** 

IT’S NOT FUNNY WHEN RAPIST ARE FREED FROM CHARGES BECAUSE A GIRL “looked” OR “acted” OLDER THAN SHE WAS. 

IT’S NOT FUNNY WHEN YOUNG BLACK GIRLS ARE RAPED BECAUSE THEY’RE COMPLEXION IS DEEMED AS DEVIANT AND SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS BY OUR SOCIETY AND THEREFORE BY THEY’RE RAPIST AND IN MANY CASES IN THE EYES OF OUR (#racist) JUDICIAL SYSTEM. 

YOU CAN DISAGREE WITH ME, BUT I URGE YOU TO EDUCATE YOURSELF, I URGE YOU TO REFLECT ON THE UNDERTONES OF A VIDEO  THAT COULD HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN SEEN AS A FUNNY AND LIGHT-HEARTED DISPLAY OF CAREFREE BLACK GIRLHOOD IF THE CONDITIONS WERE DIFFERENT AND THE GIRLS WERE OLDER. 

THINK ABOUT THE MESSAGING YOU ARE ALLOWING TO PERMEATE THE MINDS OF OUR YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS. I STAND BY MY WORDS REGARDLESS OF HOW MANY MESSAGES I GET TELLING ME I SHOULDN’T. THIS BLOG IS A PRO-BLACK BLOG. I PROTECT MY BABIES AT ALL COST–LOSS OF FOLLOWERS, HATE MESSAGES AND OTHERWISE. 

BLACK CHILDREN ARE ENTITLED TO CHILDHOOD. 

BLACK CHILDREN ARE ENTITLED TO CHILDHOOD.

BLACK CHILDREN ARE ENTITLED TO CHILDHOOD.

AND IF YOU DO NOT AGREE, UNFOLLOW ME.

 #WOMANIST #ALWAYSHEREFADAKIDS 

7

Melbourne hosts best-dressed sausage dog race

Melbourne hosted the first Hophaus Southgate Inaugural Best-Dressed Dachshund competition yesterday, as part of this year’s Oktoberfest celebrations. Thirty mini dachshunds, six standard dachshunds, and 18 dachshund puppies competed for the winner of the race. The photos below show dachshunds dressed as lifesavers, racing car drivers, coopers, and in other cute styles.

The Milwaukee Brewers’ sausage thieves have revealed the details of the heist.

Six residents of Cedarburg and nearby Mequon, Wis. ranging in age from 26 to 55 – five women and one man – collaborated on the heist. Feeling “over-served and underappreciated,” the Brewers fans left a fundraiser at the new Cedarburg location of Milwaukee’s Curling Club with the sausage costume for a night out on the town on Feb. 16.

Fueled by “two bottles of Cedar Creek’s finest wine,” the instigator said she “put it on, stood by the door, and ducked out. Then ran full speed to the car.”

From there, the group went to T.J. Ryan’s bar “for some PBR’s” then “off to the [Cedarburg] Roadhouse to jam with the band, then home for a night cap.”

– USA TODAY Sports’ Ted Berg

Here’s more.