Sometimes, I feel that my positivity is going to kill me someday. But, then I remember a time when I wasn’t so positive—when angst and cynicism crept up on me. And then I find that it’s better to embrace the love I never gave to myself, or was too shy to give to myself, in my young life.

“Electric Feel (MGMT/Katy Perry Cover)”, Rachel Ann Cauilan & Ayana Giann Carlos (2-24-2012)

We’re baaaack!
And we hope you’ve missed our eccentricities (and apparent hair flips).
Your feedback and responses are always the most appreciated. We love hearing from you guys,
So don’t be shy! Leave all your love and thoughts here.


Over the past couple of days, I’ve been burning out from work. In turn, that inspired me to pull out my guitar and crank out some melodies.

I’ve been writing again. And singing, too. Not in the way where I carefully listen to my voice and nitpick, but let it come out, naturally.

I think it’s those times of dire need where your most natural, genuine & vulnerable parts come out. & I feel more comfortable sharing that.

I feel a turning point. A reignited fire. I may hate myself for neglecting my writing but I’ve been feeding my fire again. It’s been months.

I’m beginning again.

i like you but i don’t

There’s this boy that I’ve been spending a lot of time with.

It’s clear that we have a lot of similar interests. We get along well; we’ve spent unexpected nights out; we’ve enjoyed being adventurous with our tastebuds and fulfilled our cravings for life, music and everything social.

It’s nice to have a friend to share these moments with.

Too often has my “too friendly,” generous heart made me lose friends simply because I wasn’t interested in them in that way. My friendship and “fun to hang out with” personality makes it too easy for these people to fall for me.

The admittances; the proposals to go steady; the attempted kisses.

As I’m closing in on my fourth year in college, it’s strange to reflect on all of the boys who have showed an interest in me over the years–willingly and unwillingly fallen for me–only to find myself very comfortably in my own world at the end of the day.

I like you, but I don’t.

Is that so much a problem?

“Biking Rachellllll” (Feat. Patricia)

Today, I learned how to ride a bike… and earned a new theme song!
All copyrights to my theme song go to Patricia:

Biking Rachel, look at her go!
She’s going faster and faster
Look at her
Go, in the breezy weather
Her shirt is flowing
Biking Rachel!
She is!
She’s about to hit a hill
But it’s ok, she doesn’t care
‘cause she’s biking Rachel
Rachel is biking down the [hallway]
She’s about to go *CRASH* into something
No she’s not
There she goes
In this parking lot
And we’re gonna see light
In the biking Rachel
Biking Rachel
She’s got this
Believe in yourself!
This is the farthest you’ve ever biked in your life!
(Do do do do, do do dooo)
You got this!
Don’t fall!
Oh my God I better get the f*** out of the way
You got this
Rachel is biking
Look at her go
What a pro
Look at her
She is so attractive
When she is biking
Biking Rachel (do cha do do)
Where is she turning?
You got this
You got this
This way
This way, this way, this way
I trust you!
I trust you, I trust you!
Stop it!


“The Woman in the Ordinary”, Marge Piercy (told by Rachel Ann Cauilan)

I never really showed anyone my project for Dr. Murphy’s AP Lit class earlier this year, but this is my poem/video submission I showed to the class. What do you guys think? Cheaply made on the cheap Windows Movie Maker, I know, but, I’m quite proud of how it turned out. and anyone recognize that lovely backscore? If you do, kudos to you!

The woman in the ordinary pudgy downcast girl
is crouching with eyes and muscles clenched.
Round and pebble smooth she effaces herself
under ripples of conversation and debate.
The woman in the block of ivory soap
has massive thighs that neigh,
great breasts that blare and strong arms that trumpet.
The woman of the golden fleece
laughs uproariously from the belly
inside the girl who imitates
a Christmas card virgin with glued hands,
who fishes for herself in other’s eyes,
who stoops and creeps to make herself smaller.
In her bottled up is a woman peppery as curry,
a yam of a woman of butter and brass,
compounded of acid and sweet like a pineapple,
like a handgrenade set to explode,
like goldenrod ready to bloom.

– Marge Piercy


Oh how could I not want to record a cover of this sass-bomb of a song? It’s been a while, but here’s a very honest update + song on my blog. 🎸✨💛 #brassinpocket #thepretenders #imspecial #vlog #blog #music #guitar #cover #80smusic #reverb #sparkle #recording #girlguitarist #confidence #rachelannc | https://rachelannc.wordpress.com/2016/04/07/why-i-got-brass-in-pocket-im-special-the-pretenders-cover/

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A lot of people may ask me why I have so many female influences. Simply put: “I don’t shine if you don’t shine.”
In honor of International Women’s Day, I’d like to re-share this passage from Ann Friedman’s #ShineTheory, a theory on why we should befriend and lift each other up, instead of down, and always surround ourselves with positivity than inferiority. ✨
“Here’s my solution: When you meet a woman who is intimidatingly witty, stylish, beautiful, and professionally accomplished, befriend her. Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better… Approaching and befriending women who I identify as smart and powerful (sometimes actively pursuing them, as with any other crush) has been a major revelation of my adult life.”
New blog post: https://rachelannc.wordpress.com/2016/03/08/the-power-of-women-and-shine-theory/ #annfriedman #shinetheory #female #women #woman #womynspiration #competition #success #friendship #growth #equality #youngadult #millennial #feminism #rachelannc #newblogpost #internationalwomensday #iwd2016

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