rachel's verbalizing

anonymous asked:

ok im sorry for my ignorance, but I just wanna ask. I understand aro people relating to dean, and i think that's awesome, and i understand that dean can be aro and bisexual. But I don't understand how Dean can be aro and love someone - I guess I don't understand aromantic attraction. I just personally headcanon dean as a very loving person, but him being aro would make so much sense!! Idk - how can he love people, and still be aro, if at all? THANK <3

thank u for being so kind, anon. u r approaching this subject as someone who wants to learn, and i’m sure aromantic people would really appreciate that. 

as for your question, dean being aro doesn’t mean he can’t love people. aromantic people don’t experience romantic attraction, and that can mean a variety of things, but the simplest definition is that they don’t “fall in love.” the way i like to imagine it is the difference between how i feel when i have a crush on someone and how i feel about my best friend rachel. there’s nobody outside of my family that i love as fiercely as rachel, but i am not IN love with her. and my love for her almost feels MORE intense by NOT being romantic, so it’s not like romantic love is somehow “better” than any other type. but anyway, aromantic people can still love in tons of different ways (and just as deeply as an alloromantic person), but they simply don’t experience romantic love. 

as for dean, i believe he’s aromantic AND an extremely loving person. to me, it seems like dean only really has one setting for love: you’re either family or you’re not. there are different intensities of that–compare how he treats cas to how he treats charlie or kevin or jody, and compare how he treats sam to how he treats literally anyone else, i could go on but the point is that dean thinks of friends as family, he thinks of family as family, he thinks of pseudo families (lisa and ben) as family, but he doesn’t put them all on equal playing field. his love for everyone is different while still staying under the umbrella of family. if u look at his relationships with individual characters, u realize how deeply and uniquely dean loves each person in his life. dean, to me, is so far beyond romantic love that he would probably think “falling in love” is superficial. he loves with purpose, fiercely, with all of his being–there is no “falling” about it.