race symphony

i want a 100k fic of jim introducing spock to human culture like crazy illogical human culture during like, a mission they have to spend in 21st century earth,,
“you strap yourself into these dangerous rides for, the thrill?”
“What is the purpose of a ‘selfie’? One is aware of what they look like.”
“I fail to see the relevance or appeal of jumping off a cliff with an archaic device to help achieve one float safely to the ground. Or for that matter, an elastic band to prevent them from certain death.”
“It is most fascinating the, range of music that Humans have created. How does one of the same race write sophisticated symphonies, while also repeatedly singing about the excitement of it being Friday?”
“Why does this man keep repeating that the other man has killed his father, and should prepare to die?”
“I do not understand Captain. How does adding words to a photo create a, humorous internet phenomenon?”
“I prefer your face on your own body, Captain. Green does not flatter your features.”
“You mean to tell me that, massive groups of people sit quietly together, common strangers, to watch something? And snacks are consumed?”
“Humans pay to see stars in a dark room, when they simply can look at the night sky?”

i just,, need Kirk endlessly amused and falling more in love than before