raccoon of the dead


Last year Telltale Games announced that they were working on a Marvel project, but never revealed what the game would be. Now it looks like it has leaked. The Screen Actors Guild (SAG) are currently striking against major video games companies aiming to get better contracts for voice actors. They released a list of upcoming video games that they will NOT be striking against and on that list was ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ and it was right next to ‘The Walking Dead’, another Telltale game!


Resident Evil Games 1996-2015

Me: Happy Christmas, Ducky.

Ducky: This box is mine. Please to be opening it.

Me: Yes it is but first we have your stocking. I won this raccoo…AIIIIIGHHH!!

Ducky: Mpppphhhh! Mpppppmmmph!

Me: You know people enjoy that our conversations work on a deeper level th…AIIIIGHHHH!!!

Ducky: What elphhhhh?

Me: I thought perhaps we could discuss how during this season, after such a tough year…

Ducky: No one careffffff. Itthhhhhh Christhmasthhhhhh…

Me: Our readership does dip on holidays.

Ducky: Ok. The raccoon is dead. What were we overthinking instead of just enjoying this time we have together? 

Me: Time that we’re really lucky to have?

Ducky: It was a tough year. But I’m glad you’re here. And the Lady is here. And I’m here.

Me: And I guess allowing ourselves to be glad for a bit is a pretty good idea.

Ducky: Now that we are free of the danger posed by raccoons, I agree.

Me: Okay. Ready for your other present?

Ducky: Now we’re wasting time with rhetoricals?

Me: Fair enough. Happy Christmas, Ducky.

Ducky: It’s a…



Me: Spider-Man!


Me: It’s yours to destroy.


Me: Happy Christmas, Ducky.

Ducky: Happy Christmas, Daddy.


I am absolutely STOKED right now. We were coming home from some errands, and we saw this beauty lying on the side of the highway.
Near perfect condition, aside from a little slippage on the lower belly and a little damage on the back legs. Needless to say I picked that sucker up lol

Why this is such a big deal for me is because I have never seen a grey fox around here, alive or dead. I’ve only ever seen dead and live opossums, dead raccoons, a couple dead coyotes, dead armadillos, turkeys, hell even a dead beaver!

He had some rank green belly going on, and there is a slipped patch on the belly, and I did have to cut out the damaged bits from the hind legs, but I think I was able to more or less salvage him.

A Shipper.

I am a proud shipper.
I ship a rabbit and a boy. (Jack Frost and Bunnymund)
I ship an 11 year old and a 27 year old. (Clementine and Luke)
I ship a tree and a raccoon. (Groot and Rocket)
I also ship a man with the raccoon. (Starlord and Rocket)
I ship a thousand year old alien with a young adult human. (The Doctor and Amy Pond)
I ship a high-functioning sociopath with a war veteran. (Sherlock and John)
I ship a robot and a 14 year old boy. (Hiro and Baymax)
I ship two brothers. (Dean and Sam Winchester)
I also ship one of the brothers and an angel. (Dean and Castiel)
I ship a fire and a human. (Calcifer and Sophie)
I ship a goldfish and 5 year old boy. (Ponyo and Soske)
I ship a convict and a Floridian. (Lee and Kenny)
I ship that Flordian with a boat. (Kenny and boat)
I ship a god with a veteran. (Thor and Captain America)
I ship a hero and a villain. (Batman and The Joker)
I ship what I ship.
If you have a problem with it,
You need to keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

We aren’t dead, yet – a zombie!jack aesthetic

   Jack grunted as he was pulled along the road by the rope tied around his waist. He’d seen a dead raccoon on the road about half a mile back, but Mark had refused to let him stop to gnaw at it. They were running out of daylight and Jack had trouble with his vision enough during the day. Attempting to let him wander behind at night could lead into all kinds of unfortunate accidents. 

   “Come on,” He tugged at the rope and Jack jerked forward, groaning in protest, “Do you have to be such a pain in my ass all the time?” Jack grunted, giving a wordless response, and then they fell back into silence again. That was okay. Whatever part of Jack’s brain that was left alive didn’t seem to mind silence, and Mark needed time to think. 


I especially felt bad for Erron Black in this scene, forgotten like that dead raccoon Conrad in Canada … X3

Least he’s got a nice angle of Takeda’s booty …

the history of jack white

jack white was born in d-town, where he grew up being catholic, holding candles n’ shit. got in a movie once, being catholic and holding a candle. as a teen he found that he enjoyed beating things with sticks (drumming), a lot. so much so that in his 20′s he found a girl to do it for him (meg white). jack played guitar, they got married (also divorced yo), and formed a band called the white stripes in 1997.

they got big and made lots of music and videos. even a video about liking girls and legos. they traveled and wore lots of red. lots of red. seriously why did they like red so much. 

in the mid 2000′s jack also formed two other bands: the racontors. the raccoon toots  THE RACONTUERS, and the dead weather. the difference in those two is the racs color scheme was chili and copper colored, while the dead weather was mostly black and sweat. seriously everyone sweated so much.

in this time jack had facial hair got really muscular and married a model named karen. they made two smaller humans together. he also worked with lots of famous old country people. loretta lynn was the most most important. she and jack are level 9000 friends. she made bread for him once.

in 2009 he opened hipster disney world (aka third man records). it’s color scheme was inspired by jerry seinfeild’s 2007 hit film ‘bee movie.’ 

in 2011 the universe was all like, “hey, you know what would be fun? make the white stripes break up.” and then they broke up. meg disappeared, but she’s probably okay. seriously meg are you even alive…

in 2012 jack went solo and changed his color scheme to a nursery shade of blue. he released an album and named it after a gun and it was great.

then in 2014 he went to a darker blue. like ocean on a rotating globe blue. he released an album named after some shit from the black plague. it was louder and he threw shade at black licorice (kind of racist tbh) and talks about ladies. he toured a lot and drank tons of champagne. also fucked up his ankle (fukin loser). 

in 2015 the dead weather came back, less sweaty this time, and released an album. it was purple and kind of ok. he also opened a second bee movie store.(seriously as i’m writing this i don’t remember much of what happened to him in 2k15 ok don’t tell me what i missed)

it’s 2016 now and he was on the muppets, he rode in a car with a depressed frog with relationship issues and sang songs.