raccoon of the dead

A few weeks ago, my neighbor and I strung a piece of yarn between our windows with the intent to make tin can telephones. We never found the tin can, but we left the string up anyway.

I just woke to a creaking sound near my ear. Something in the darkness was pulling on the string from outside my window. So… I did the obvious thing and tugged back.

For several minutes, the thing on the other end of the string would alternate between pulling and letting it go slack. I fumbled for my glasses and crept out of bed towards the window, but it was too dark to see anything except a vague black shape that might’ve been anything. I managed to dig out a headlamp I found in a hastily abandoned cabin and locked eyes with my opponent.

Outside in the woods, an enormous raccoon was yanking furiously on the string with its little humanoid hands. I pulled the string and it pulled back. It wasn’t stuck - when I managed to dislodge it from its grip, the raccoon reared back and leapt into the air to grab onto the yarn again. We engaged in a dead silent tug-of-war until another raccoon chased it back into the trees and my roommate told me to fuck off.

6

One of the most common skulls for a new Vulture to find is a raccoon.
And the most common mistake I see new Vultures make is tooth placement.
We all have trouble when we first start out, and its good to have mistakes to learn from and grow. But I was putting this old raccoon together and figured some pictures of the dentition might help someone :)
I know I looked for good reference pictures of raccoon teeth when I was starting.
Pro tip- listen to the tooth. If it doesn’t want to fit in the hole, it probably doesn’t go in that hole lol.
Pay special attention to the front teeth. The curvy ones go in the top, the straight ones go in the bottom. They start with the wider ones on the outside and the more narrow ones in the middle.
If you get stuck, just go with “trial and error”. Set that pesky tooth off to the side until you figure it out.
Have fun and be patient with yourself 💚

Why?

Why all my favorite characters end up being dead/unnoticed and have no good “x reader” fanfictions?

It may sound weird but I hate the fact that roadkill and other dead things just get sent to the dump and incinerated. It seems like such a waste of nutrients that could feed the local wildlife and plants. 

I get that roadkill can attract animals to the road but its not that hard to just move a dead animal a few yards to the side. Same with whales on beaches. 

“but its a public safety hazard!!!”  If you managed to kill yourself with a dead raccoon that’s just natural selection…

sweetdollfromhell  asked:

Yondu, are you own a box with pictures and others Peter baby stuff? (for blackmail material off course)

Yondu: Boy owes me four billion units. He’s lucky I didn’t plaster his baby pics across the fuckin’ galaxy!

3

Resident Evil Games 1996-2015

6

Fur auction haul for 2017!  Because of reasons that I did not go all out like I normally do with the furs, mostly because I still have a lot of tanned furs listed in my Etsy Shop currently.

That said even though I did scored a lot of pelts this year, I did get some rather unique pelts in the haul that I really have not see before nor have I see those colors up for auction either.  Either way, pretty happy with what I got and hopefully all these will go quick.

Here’s the list of the haul:

  • Raccoon (Not Available)
  • Blonde Coyote ($20, ON HOLD)
  • Coyote (SOLD)
  • Coyote (SOLD)
  • Red Coyote ($20)
  • Gold Platinum Fox (SOLD)
  • Dark Coyote (SOLD)
  • Whitemarked Red Fox (SOLD)

As promised since people expressed interest in buy the pelts as is, they all are available to purchase for a limited time.  If interested, please message me the one you want and I’ll get back to you.  This must be done ASAP because after Wednesday they’ll be off to the tannery and will not be available until they return.

These are RAW DRIED/TRAPPER DRIED pelts and are not suitable for taxidermy but excellent for crafts/garments or for hides to practice tanning on.  Considering some are not the best and they are raw, I’m going to be offering them for excellent prices so do not miss out!

4

The other day I found what appeared to be a turtle shell, but I realized today the error of my judgement as these two ‘turtle shells’ appear to fit perfectly on the skulls of what I originally thought were cat and raccoon skulls!

I haven’t actually seen species like these before, although I imagine they must be closely related. I’m quite proud of these specimens, since I have yet to see them in other vultures’ collections. What great finds!

Random Starters!

Send one! Change pronouns to suit muse. 

  • “Does your masochism extend to an enjoyment of being put in your place like the little bitch you are?”
  • “I’m going to furiously shit lava onto your phone if you text me another three hundred Japanese emoji.”
  • “What the fuck is swiping left and swiping right? I don’t fucking swipe anything, fuck that subtle shit. If I see it I take it and I don’t give a FUCK who’s looking, it’s mine.“
  • “I was using my Grandma’s computer and the last three searches on google were for the price of rat poison, some quotes on cheep funerals, and what the best dating sites are. Should I be worried about Grandpa?”
  • “Once I get paid that Hello Kitty Assault Rifle is MINE.”
  • “Godzilla must have a dick the size of a Winnebago, but we never get to see it? COME-ON TOHO COMPANY, GIVE US THE BUS SIZED LIZARD DICK”
  • “I am a gift from god himself, a treasure amongst you heathens, and I deserve to be fed as such.”
  • “Some people just, eat onions? Like they’re apples? Like they take a fucking bite out of an onion like it’s nothing? How do you fuck up as a person like that?”
  • “How do you super glue a four generation family tree back to its stump? Asking for a friend. His name is Redwood.”
  • “Nobody invited me out, which is too bad for them because my presence is a grace upon your otherwise lifeless existences.”
  • “You commit so much property damage when you’re drunk we should just call you Hurricane Fuckface.”
  • “You ever see a cake so beautiful you wanna fuck it? That’s how I felt when I ate my first phallic cake.”
  • “Having the flu isn’t an excuse to lay around all day sniffling. You know what would make you feel better? Infecting complete strangers, that’s what. Let’s go bowling!!”
  • “I!! Am not!! A person!! NO!!!”
  • “My friend tried to pull the ‘dick in the box’ joke on me, and then I kicked it. Now he’s in the hospital.”
  • “I tried to fuck an apple pie like in that one movie. It was pretty nice, until the next day when I found out I had a yeast infection.”
  • “Good morning. The cat took a shit in your shoes. Both of them. What do you want for breakfast?”
  • “Eat my food again and I’ll fling you into the sun by your ankles.”
  • “Girl, are you a plasma screen TV? Cause you be MAKING UP MOST OF THE ELECTRICITY BILL. FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS? WHAT’S EVEN PLUGGED IN IN YOUR ROOM?”
  • “You know someone who’s like, sort of ugly, sort of okay looking, but then their personality just pushes it over the edge and they’re just ugly? That’s you.”
  • “Here lies your reputation, in the trash next to the empty bear bottles and a dead raccoon.”
  • “Yeah asshole, reading my diary was EXACTLY the key to mending our relationship.”
  • “Ever since I let you borrow my laptop, Google won’t stop giving me ads for ammonia in bulk and empty storage lots nearby. What exactly were you doing last weekend?”

wow i cant believe dylan bone daddy dead raccoon demon boy strome, is the best canadian captain of an american hockey team in western pa its incredible theres no other canadian boy whos captain of a team in western pa that can match him