i’m good and all about bringing in cute new characters. but mattel, by all means

please explain to me 

why you went through the trouble

of making me attached

to these darling children and their chemistry with an equally darling babe

only to take it all away. 

anonymous asked:

holy shit what is the tennesean toe snatcher

Listen… when I was a kid I read a lot of Goosebumps, which would usually be fine because, y’know, they’re kids books, obviously - but I also had an unreasonable amount of unchecked paranoia that my kid brain thought was relatively normal. This resulted in me not finishing a bunch of Goosebumps books because I was too scared to.

So, this was a long time ago, but I remember reading the first chapter of one and it was about the Timberland Falls Toe-Biter (had to google this) - I literally cannot remember what this damn book was about because I read all of 10 pages and was promptly Weirded The Fuck Out because this fool BIT TOES. He just BIT… CHILDREN’S TOES. It was the most visceral and disgusting thought in my head for years. Toe-Biter. Hey R. L. Stein? What the fuck dog.

Anyway, at some point after that I was having awful intrusive thoughts of this ugly ass mother fucker popping a squat at the end of my bed and taking hold of my delicate baby feet and having a munch down. 

Because I’d never read the full book (I don’t even think that fool was the Big Evil of it either), somewhere along the line I started calling him the Tennessean Toe Snatcher, and he looks weirdly like JonTron? and to this day, as an almost 20 year old, if I don’t tuck my feet away my brain immediately goes “YO DOG HIDE THOSE PIGGIES THE TOE SNATCHER GON HAVE A FIELD DAY RIPPING OFF YOUR TOES! THAT FOOL SEES YOUR DIGITS AND WANTS TO BREAK OFF A PIECE OF THAT KITKAT BAR!”

It’s the most tame intrusive thought I have regularly, but also it’s the most uncanny dumbass thing my brain has made up over the years? He crouches right at the corner of my bed and his teeth are big and his eyes are always locked directly on mine. He’s positively feral. 


he’s so good at goosebumps, we call him r l stine.

Dean’s Alright

Originally posted by olllyp

Nightmares weren’t common despite your risky line of work. As a hunter it seemed like everyone had horror in their real lives and dreams, but you were lucky. Where in everyday you face the monsters that only kids and R. L. Stein could dream of, at night you had a minute to yourself and were able to dream of nothingness. A dreamless sleep was always better than nothing it seemed and you would always awake refreshed albeit curious as to what the blank dream had been.

After last night you would no longer be curious though. For the first time in years you had a dream that you could remember. A better term for it would be nightmare as the sheer terror you felt as you forced your eyes open didn’t account for anything less. As terrified as you had been on hunts every day, this was worse because after a few drinks you could forget the hunt but nothing made this nightmare go away.

And that was it for you and sleeping. It’s not that you couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep, you honestly tried, but every time you closed your eyes the nightmare came back. It’s what left you lying in bed at two in the morning wishing you could get a drink but too afraid to move until daylight. It’s what made you nearly  fall asleep while researching only to be awakened in fear a second late.

It was Dean. Or sort of Dean. It was the Dean you know, the same one you could count on, but he was gone. On the floor with blood around him and you were the only one around. It was worse than the hunts you knew because this felt real, like he wouldn’t magic his way back and it was just you. That was your biggest fear.

That’s also what led you to being in Dean’s room at midnight. You had woke up again with the same image and had to make sure that he was okay.

“Dean,” you whispered as you shook him awake. Dean groaned but opened his eyes to look up at you.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?” Dean asked, fully awake and reaching for his gun. You held up a hand to stop him.

“Nothing I just…I wanted to make sure you were fine,” you muttered and moved to head out. Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards the bed.

“I can tell something isn’t right sweetheart,” he said.

Dean patted his bed and with a sigh you took a seat beside him.

“I had a nightmare and you were,” you stopped yourself, “it just wasn’t good.”

Dean took your hand in his and leaned back against the bed. You followed his lead and soon you were lying beside him with your head on his chest. Right now you weren’t going to think of how much you liked this position, all you were going to think about was the fact that you could make sure Dean would be safe now.

“It won’t happen,” he promised.

You closed your eyes, still seeing Dean but this time he wasn’t gone. He was there smiling at you in bed and as cliché as it seemed, you felt safe.