r-is-such-a-fail

So whenever my hearing aids run out of battery, a deep-ass man’s voice goes off right next to my ear drum yelling “B A T T E R Y”, and, every time, without fail, giving me a minor heart attack.

And since my hearing aids aren’t synched for when I replace the battery, the left hearing aid will go off one afternoon, and I’ll know that the right one will go off the following night.

Yesterday afternoon, I replaced my left hearing aid battery.

Now it is tomorrow night. Now I sit, and I wait, for that monotone-ass motherfucker in my head to yell “BATTERY” in my ear, again leading to my gradual heart failure. It is only so long before my heart cannot take this repeated occurrence of panic.

I sit.

I wait.

He is coming.

8

 ❛   They say before you start a war
  You better know what you’re fighting for
    Well baby, you are all that I adore
      If love is what you need,
              a soldier I will be

         I’m an angel with a shotgun
          Fighting til’ the wars won
 I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back
       I’ll throw away my faith, babe,
              just to keep you safe

 Don’t you know you’re everything I have?
                And I, wanna live,
           not just survive, tonight  ..

       gifs-set . ©  @iireethgifs
           pairing: nalu .

Hogwarts Dating

Enjoltaire Edition

  • Muggleborn Grantaire trying every iconic and cheesy muggle pick-up line on Pur Blood Enjolras who’s ever heard them
  • Enjolras snuggling into Grantaire’s Ravenclaw scarf in winter and not giving it back until late spring
  • Quidditch commentator R who never fails to points out how fabulous Enjolras’ butt looks on that “new” broom he got two years ago before someone take the mic away from him
  • They got their first detention together when Grantaire got punished for doodling in class:
    • “Mr. Grantaire, since you’re so manual you’ll polish everything in the Trophy Room.”
    • “My hands are so good at polishing stuff, sir.”
    • Enjolras snorted so loud he got detention as well
  • Grantaire once sent Enjolras a musical card for his birthday and Enjolras was very confused because??? There isn’t??? Magic involved???
  • Enjolras spending a couple of weeks at Grantaire’s in the summer and Grantaire introduces him to muggle rock and all the bands he grew up with. Enjolras looking at static pictures of baby Grantaire with a fond smile
  • Enjolras couldn’t figure out what his amortencia smelt like until he held Grantaire close for the first time and made the connection
  • Grantaire’s cat loves Enjolras so much he’ll sometimes spend the Slytherin dormitory, sturting all the way to Enjolras’ bed with a doodle stuck in his collar
Boyfriend Yuta
  • sssuuuppp
  • have you see his teaser pics??? i’M SCREAMING
  • i feel like yuta is going to slay this concept so much?? like i’m so fucking excited
  • but let’s start this rn bc idk what to write here
  • bc i’m a smol awkward being c:
  • okay so!!! 
  • basically, he would be the perfect boyfie that everyone wants
  • first of all, A++ humour sense
  • he never, n e v e r, fails to make you laugh or feel happy again
  • he would do aegyo or would act like an idiot just to get you to laugh a little
  • and if you’re feeling down he would be unbearable, trust me
  • he wouldn’t let you go till you finally told him why you’re feeling like this
  • he just would be extremely worried about you and he just wants to find a solution to your problem as soon as possible
  • “what do you mean you don’t want to tell me? y/n i’m your boyfriend”
  • “you don’t trust enough?”
  • “but why do you want to have so much time alone? i need you, y/n”
  • “please, tell me”
  • fucking u n b e a r a b l e
  • but you would eventually slowly open up to him
  • he would listen to you at the same time as he thinks of possible solutions
  • he probably doesn’t tolerates seeing his loved ones feeling sad at all
  • and would do anything in his power to bring a smile back into their faces
  • and specially if it’s you <33 aw
  • so then you’ll have him doing and saying the silliest things just to make you laugh
  • that and a bunch of cuddles
  • in his world and in mine cuddles can solve any problem
  • and he’s super clingy anyways so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • and when he’s the one feeling sad he wouldn’t doubt about telling you
  • maybe it would be a bit hard for him in the beggining but he undestands that he has a problem and that the first step, always, is talking to someone
  • so he would make warm coffee for both of you and slowly start talking with you
  • and for every minute it passes you would notice how he feels more relaxed and calm
  • y’all probably you have a bunch of lazy dates
  • things like idk anime marathons that are a whole day long
  • or both of you playing nintendo at night while eating pizza at night
  • and honestly that sounds fucking amazing, sign me the fuck up
  • and even if he loves those lazy dates, everyone knows he’s the type who loves doing extreme sports and things like that
  • he probably loves feeling all the adrenalin in his body and he would defenetly want you to experience cool things like that too
  • so also expect crazy dates like idk going to amusement parks with really crazy rides
  • or doing weird things like when he was in idol party and obligated his fake family to do that weird thing
  • hey, a little reminder ;))
  • he would love to cook for you
  • but tbh, he would do it only to show you that he is talented enough to do it
  • and that hE DEFENETLY DIDN’T DESERVE TO LOSE IN THAT NCT LIFE IN THE KITCHEN!!!
  • also, he would want you to taste some of the japanese gastronomy and that good stuf you know
  • but what he would l o v e is you cooking for him
  • even if it’s just a sandwich, he would still love it
  • that’s basically the only thing i can cook so, perfect
  • he’s super protective and jealous with you
  • but he wouldn’t like to admit that he’s jealous??? sohe would be suffering trough the pain
  • and the complaining with you lmao
  • but he would do little things to make your relationship obvious
  • like grabbing your waist or put a strand of your hair behind your ear
  • also, he would look at you a lot, not only to see your reactions to the other person’s opinions but to make you feel nervous??
  • “stop looking at me so much, yuta!”
  • “but you’re so pretty, y/n”
  • ugh, i h8 fuckbois
  • he would cuddle with you every night before sleep
  • and there was this moment where you were like
  • “yuta, can you sing a little for me?”
  • anD HE WAS LIKE !!!!!!! WHAT
  • “singing?”
  • and after doubting a little hE DOES SDFG
  • and his voice is so soft and sweet, and specially if he’s basically whispering the whole thing in your ear
  • and you fall asleep in his arms aND HE GETS WEAK
  • “i love you so much, y/n”
  • oH MY god dfghjklwHAT¡¿?? 
  • he’s so boyfriend material ugh i love him
  • okay and the end!!
  • i hope y’all enjoyed this even if itwas bad :’) <3
  • lmao, bye 

anonymous asked:

Yo Rich's SQUIP? Can you fuck off using the wrong pronouns, HE's a dude. There is no "she"

R!SQUIP: You fail to realize I’m created for attention. All you do is fuel me.

R!SQUIP: Wait.. Keep going, I’m so close..

R!SQUIP: Y̯̙͜E͘S̡!͍̠ I҉̝̯͍ C̥̠̲̹͎͜Ą̻̺̭̙̖̙̖N̟̣͝ F̮̜̫̼̰̹̪I̟͚̟̣̯N̙͟AL̘͞L҉͎̘̭̮̲̯Y̖̰̩̬̹̖̖͟ G̷͎͈͎E̘̦̮͎͕T̘̞͚̟̱ C̮͕͝ON̜̻T͚̮̘̲̜̜̹͟Ṟ̥͓̗̼͝OL̤ͅ O͕̪̻̗͝V̛͍E̙R͙̭͕̮̼ T̨̲͍̙̪͎͎H̶͇̞̯͖̩̗I̛̱̥̤͉̙͈S̶͍̦ U̱̻̲̮̰Ṣ̙̫̹E̷̘̙͎͖͕͔̤L̶̫͈̳ͅE͔̘̰̹͉̖̩S͏S̨̝ G̨̩̦I̩̻ͅR̢̼͈̩̙̲̘ͅL̝̜̜̦͘!̩̰̗̫͔̣̻

R!SQUIP: T͓̯̫H̛̟̰͕̻A̴͓͙͉̩̜̗̝Ṉ̤̻̮̬̙͝K͍͙͇̟̯͢ Y̳̯̣͟ͅO̬͍͉Ú̱̯̻,̸̱͍ Y̦̼͇̕O̼̲͔͡U̡͕ I̘͙̤̮̣͜D͉̖͟Í̤͕̬ͅO͖̳T҉̫̗̫S̲̱̞̕!̴͖̫̩ Y͖̫̮̤Ọ͍̝͘U̖ B̙̮͉͙̘̫E̟͓̳ͅA͓U̸̯̖͙̱̜̻ͅT̲͟I̹̰͈͇̜F̖̭͙̪̬͓͢U̞̝̳̙̣͞L̡̠̳,̲̻ͅ S̬͉̪͇T͔̰̼̜̬͝U̮PI̺̪͕̠͟Ḏ̹͖ F̫͍̣̗̞O̧̯̰ͅÒ̙̱͇̝̤͖̳LS̝̺̥̻!ͅ

What BTS might do @ BBMAs
  • jin: blows kisses at e v e r y camera, tries and fails to make english puns
  • yoongi: is embarrassed bc of his members but is happy, freaks out inside when he sees his fav artists near him
  • namjoon: talking to himself so he doesn't mess up his speech, talks casually to chill american artists
  • hoseok: the loudest person in the entire stadium, tries to take pictures with american artists
  • taehyung: dabs at every beat of every song, says hi to everyone he sees
  • jimin: laughing to english jokes he doesn't understand but sees everyone else laughing, gets shy when he looks other artists in the face
  • jungkook: tries to look all cool, loses his cool bc JUSTIN BIEBER, tries to recover and fails, surrounds himself by the other members to feel better
The 13 Original Colonies, Simplified
  • Connecticut: Rich(er) White(r) People
  • Delaware: Exists, Allegedly
  • Georgia: Failed Penal Colony
  • New Hampshire: Massachusetts-Induced Inferiority Complex
  • North Carolina: South’s Carolina’s Bitch
  • Maryland: Catholics
  • Massachusetts: The Instigator
  • New Jersey: Everything’s Legal
  • New York: Fuck New Jersey
  • Pennsylvania: Dirty Hippy Quakers
  • Rhode Island: Ex-Puritans
  • South Carolina: Token Evil Teammate
  • Virginia: The Prima Donna
Protagonists I Want to See More of in YA
  • girls written by men, and boys written by women (I have a long explanation for this and I may turn it into its own post one day, but for the sake of brevity i’m going to leave that like it is rn)
  • non-bookish protagonists who are still well-developed
  • UNLIKABLE PROTAGONISTS. Actually my favorite characters are the ones who are complex/real enough that sometimes you really love them and sometimes you super duper hate them (see: every character in Breaking Bad)
  • protagonists who actually like instigate the main plot of the book (I cannot tell you how tired I am of the whole “jane ‘whitey mcnerdgirl’ smith’ had a super boring life but then some wild thing happened to her so now her life is interesting”) (wait yes I can and I did so already here)
  • socially anxious protags where their social anxiety is realistically portrayed and their resulting struggle with having friends/relationships is portrayed (less “i’m just cute and shy and that strange hot guy is really into me” and more “i am in a constant state of terror and my anxiety has kept me from having any legitimate relationships since i was 12″)
  • same with other mental health issues/disorders BUT without the book being an issue book that focuses mainly on that issue/disorder. A good old fantasy/sci fi/romance/whatever book with realistically portrayed disorders is what I want to see
  • optimistic, friendly, non-cynical protags (not everyone’s teenage years are 50/50 angst and sarcasm)
  • non-quirky protagonists
  • on the other hand, manic pixie dream girls (yes i said it. i love manic pixie dream girls. i hate them for the male gaze, as the object of a male protagonist’s obsession, but make a manic pixie dream girl the teller of her own story and i’m so here for that) (but she can’t be a mary sue)
  • A N G RY  G I R L  PROTAGONISTS
  • protagonists who fail. hard.
  • religious protagonists. And not just like using their flimsy religion to emphasize how angsty and cynical they are. actual firm believers in fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian/whatever books. doesn’t really count if the religion is fictional. and not just Christians either.
  • this goes along with the “protagonists who instigate the main plot” point, but protagonists who are eager to face the conflict. I’m tired of it feeling like the story has to be set up perfectly to force the character into action. Protagonists who are ready to step up to the plate and do some damage.
  • protagonists who fall from grace over the course of the story.
  • protagonists who are wildly amoral but their amorality isn’t excused, it’s made to be a complex aspect of their character. protagonists who sometimes step out of line. possibly too far to ever really return.
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***SPOILER WARNING***

When the Blood Moon occurs during the final boss fight