r e s p e c t man

I got this Spanish chica, she don’t like me to roam
So she call me cabron plus marricon
Said she likes to cook rice so she likes me home
I’m like, “Un momento” - mami, slow up your tempo

I got this black chick, she don’t know how to act
Always talkin out her neck, makin her fingers snap
She like, “Listen Jigga Man, I don’t care if you rap
You better - R-E-S-P-E-C-T me”

I got this French chick that love to french kiss
She thinks she’s Bo Derek, wear her hair in a twist
My, cherie amor, t£ est belle
Merci, you fine as fuck but you givin me hell

I got this Indian squaw the day that I met her
Asked her what tribe she with, red dot or feather
She said all you need to know is I’m not a ho
And to get with me you better be Chief Lots-a-Dough

I got this young chick, she so immature
She like, “Why you don’t buy me Reeboks no more?”
Like to show out in public, throw tantrums on the floor
Gotta toss a couple dollars, just to shut up her holla

Got a project chick, that plays her part
And if it goes down y'all that’s my heart
Baby girl so thorough she been with me from the start
Hid my drugs from the NARCs, hid my guns by the parts

I got this model chick that don’t cook or clean
But she dress her ass off and her walk is mean
Only thing wrong with ma she’s always on the scene
God damn she’s fine but she parties all the time

I get frequent flier mileage from my stewardess chick
She look right in that tight blue dress, she’s thick
She gives me extra pillows and seat back love
So I had to introduce her to the Mile High Club

I got this paranoid chick, she’s scared to come to the house

A hypochondriac who says ouch before I whip it out

Got a chick from Peru, that sniff Peru
She got a cousin at customs that get shit through

Got this weedhead chick, she always catch me doin shit
Crazy girl wanna leave me but she always forgets

Got this Chinese chick, had to leave her quick’
Cause she kept bootleggin my shit

I got this African chick with Eddie Murphy on her skull
She like, “Jigga Man, why you treat me like animal?”
I’m like excuse me Ms. Fufu, but when I met your ass
you was dead broke and naked, and now you want half

I got this ho that after twelve million sold
Mami’s a narcolyptic, always sleepin on Hov’
Gotta tie the back of her head like Deuce Bigalow
I got so many girls across the globe..

justpidgance  asked:

*slides out of the darkness* So, what do you like about that sweet Shallura? I'm interested.

hello thank you for asking about my very first Voltron ship

They are the ultimate power couple. 

10/10 on the Leader Scale. 11/10 on the Buffness Scale. Both among the most driven characters. Slay

Allura is a well-written, complex female character. She deserves a man that will respect her. 

I mean like,,,, Shiro calls her Princess more than anyone else all the time unless he’s distressed?? wow

Also, just before the climax for season 1: Allura wants to join the mission and Coran’s like ??? and the paladins are like ?????? and SHIRO IS LIKE “Fine. Suit up.” R E S P E C T

Allura can be there for Shiro, and Shiro needs that. 

Shiro breaks when facing his own doubts and Sendak. Shiro is alone in that moment. Being a leader is lonely. As another leader, and someone that also broke when faced with the choice of destroying her father’s AI, Allura can understand and help him. 

Both of them have been completely torn away from their cultures and homes. They understand each other in a way no one else can.

Because really, the Voltron team chose to go through that portal in the blue lion. I believe Coran chose to be there for Allura. Allura didn’t choose to leave her father. Shiro didn’t choose to get kidnapped and fight in the gladiator ring for a year. 

“I know how you feel.”

Sacrifice.

Allura sacrificed herself to save Shiro. This left her in enemy territory on her own. She knew the stakes. 

Shiro was ready to face Zarkon, and possibly die and lose Voltron, to save Allura. He knew the stakes. 

So much potential for Soft. I love Soft. I would die for Soft

This isn’t the only soft moment, but HAND HOLD HAND HOLD HAND HOLD HAND HOL

hand holding is one of my top five weaknesses

also they look very cute together. amazing. what a blessing. these two. ugh, my heart. 

2

home,” he whispered, needing to hear it aloud. it was a f o r e i g n concept to him, an i m p o s s i b l e dream. it was f r i g h t e n i n g and wonderful all at once, and it set his heart r a c i n g so fast he thought it’d drum out of his chest. 

“welcome home, neil.”

masterlist | requests: open

p e t e r    p a r k e r »

identity - sick and tired of your best friend, peter, bailing on you for important school projects, you decide to give him a piece of your mind; only for things not to go exactly as planned.


tutoring sessions - knowing that you’re struggling with math and that peter has a crush on you, mj volunteers peter to tutor you, much to his dismay.

part one | part two | part three | part four 


dinner date -  peter’s first time meeting your parents


being next door neighbors with peter parker - cute headcanons of what it’d be like to live next to peter 


frustrating - best friends aren’t supposed to be thinking about kissing each other

under-wraps (sequel to frustrating) - strong feelings eventually have to be brought up to the surface


being lab partners with your crush peter - one word: N E R D S


storms - being a superhero can be kind of fun, unless peter parker becomes your babysitter (series???)

🕸

m i c h e l l e     j o n e s »  (a lot more coming soon)

dating mj headcanons - you and mj being boss ass bitches

🕸

n e d & p e t e r (platonic) »

being best friends with peter parker and ned leeds - three dorks in a friendship circle 

anonymous asked:

can you draw mystery's reaction to finding rex alone and crying, before he finds out that people have been mean to rex? i just want some p r o t e c t i v e m y s t e r e x a n g s t man

bonus:

my fave things abt the bmc boot

the bootleg hurt everyone dont lie to me


-“at the matinée”
-the way jerm pulls his leggies into his pants
-he doesnt get to finish his belt before stretching
-BUT THE STRETCH
-“d-uGHh, dAaAAAD”
-it strikes me as funny that its jenna handing him his shoes, maybe because she was at payless? idk
-and then brooke gives him the cardigan??? yall are these just coincidences or what
-it might just be the girls tho bc then chloe gives him his bookbag and idk how that correlates
-THE ENTIRE BUS PART AAA AAA AAA AAA AA
-LIKE LOOK AT MICHAEL ON HIS PHONE AND BROOKE LIKE SLEEPING OR SOMETHING
-AND THEY MOVE LIKE THEYRE SWAYING ON THE BUS
-I LOVE IT
-jeremy just wants into his locker save him
-richs voice “y oOO DOnt toUChhH ME TalLASS”
-“you wash that off” LIFT “youre de a d” SHOV E
-“i navigate the dangerous hall-” AND THEN THE KIDS IN THE HALL
-AND MR REYES WALKIN AFTER SOME OF THEM TO SCOLD THEM SNDNDKDJS
-yall jerm was Totally Excited abt the play signups but he just didnt do em bc he didnt wanna get called gay
-christine. All show
-the Legg (Trademark) at that little trill thing. she STICKS her leggy out REAL FAR
-christine putting on lip gloss is me attempting to do any makeup
-jeremy starts walking over to her but as soon as she looks hes like “nOPE NEVERMIND”
-then when she catches him the slow turn and “,, y-eah”
-“i dont wanna be a baller” when the kids start bopping mr reyes just looks around like “,,,,,, what”
-then he starts lowkey bopping
-the he CLOSES HIS BOOK and TAKES OFF HIS GLASSES and YOU KNOW WHATS COMING
-“if i continue at this rate the only think ill ever date-” HEADBANGING “is my macbook pro hard drive”
-and im always too focused on mr reyes to figure out where the lunch tray came from
-michael.
-michael is like dancing around to his music but jeremys occasional bops are very important
-T H E H A N D S H A K E
-michaels KICKIES
-he holds up a finger in jerms face
-the way they rearrange themselves to make “boyf riends”
-mikes headphone cords swinging gently………
-michael casually sipping on his slushie
-christine being e x t r a signing up for the play
-rich interrupts the extra to yell gay
-mr reyes, again, walking off to scold him
-jerms hands in his pockets, the entire time
_“WHYYYYY cant someone”
-i cant help focusing on michael during the dancing
-jerm ur in class get off that chair
-“you dont have to do this” r e l i e f “of course ill mock you forever if you dont” pat. michael w h y
-jerm psyching himself up
-this entire exchange
-“yYYOOoooo,,,”
-“yooo!!”
-“u-uh, i-is this where u,,,, meet for th e play,,,, , ,,”
-silence
-“no, this is where you meet for the Swim Team”
-awkward jerm
-“im joking!”
-“oh! uh- oh- uh- w-well I M JE R E M YY”
-“,,,,, are you ok”
-he probably does always sweat that much honestly
-“you never forget ur first p l a y r e h e r s a l”
-i imagine i love play rehearsal as christine telling jerm abt that yeah but theres also the fact that jeremy doesnt get a word in at all
-“i also have a touch of add!!!! ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, where was i”
-i dont think jerm cares tho he just likes listening to her talk
-“or BLANCHE DUBOIS AND C A N I M E N T I O N”
-christines slav squat
-“it made me feel like there just arent strong for women in the theater these days, p a r t i c u l a r l y highschool theater! do you find that because i totally find that!!!!!” irony
-“WHY-EEAY-EEEAYAYAYYY”
-shes so excited
-kick
-“BLAEEGEHHHHH- UH-UH-UH-UH-UHHHHHH”
-the leg cross
-“LETS HAVE A PARTAAYYYYY YEAHHH”
-“a midsummer nights dream” “Y E S” “and today that dream dies” “what”
-“frisbee,, golf,,,,,,, team” jake punches the air
-“DONT YOU CARE ABOUT SHAKESPEARE” “the man is dead l e t i t g o” hug
-“so whats the story with jake and madeline”
-jeremy awkwardly sitting there during jake and christines conversation
-“im glad that girls not,,, dead. Before i got the chance to know her”
-ONCE AGAIN THERES BEEN A TAKEDOWN BUT I GUESS IT COULD HAVE GONE WORSE AT LEAST I DIDNT HAVE A BREAKDOWN THEN HAVE TO GO TO THE NURSE
-dont even need to survive? jerm what
-R I C H A R D
-“i told you N O T TO WASH THAT OFF”
-“uhh wheres my homework????”
-“hunched over and scared, mmmmmm, all the time?”
-hip rolls “confidence”
-rich zipping up and wiping his hands on his pants
-“i was gross” u still are richard
-the voice crack at “i would trip”
-“ive never heard of it before!” “nyeaah, well thats the point!” he hand motions
-richs voice deepens on “its from japan” and i cry
-the hand motions
-“WHAT thats not even possible”
-he grabs jeremys wrists when he apologizes and its cute
-“and you might want a squip of your own” he dance
-richs facial expression when jerms like “so,, so its like,,,,,,,, drugs???”
-he DROPS TO HIS KNEES THERE HE GOES ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAN
-the “its preprogrammed” bit is a big fave
-“helps you act correctly” he mocks jeremys stance and jerms like “Oh”
-TEENAGE ROCKSTAR SPLENDOOORS
-hes very excited to tell jerm what he is on the school social map
-his voice kinda shakes on “youll go from sad to interesting”
-jeremy FLAILS
-“arent you gonna wash your hands”
-He d a n c e
-LIFT THE SHIRT AND ROLL UR STOMACH R I C H W H A T T H E F U C K
-hips dont lie
-then jerm does the spiel
-BEANBAG JUMPSCARE
-michaels legs
-the boyes f o c u s
-“scamming you SUPER WEIRDLY”
-michaels LASER FOCUS ON VIDEO GAMES
-controller switch
-michaels dancing
-they high five and then michael waves him off like “get the fuck out of my beanbag jeremiah”
-they SLAPP to start video game
-MICHAELS DANCING DURINF “COOL IN COLLEGE”
-he tickles jeremy when jeremy doesnt pay attention to him
-michael f l o p
-jeremys impatience
-STOLEN CONTROLLER
-T H R O W C O N T R O L L E R
-“oh!” straight up and down
-michael flops forward and his hood goes up and hes dead
-“is that a girl are you in here with a girl?” michaels TRANS
-so is jeremy
-they both are i love them
-“hey mr heeeere”
-jeremy is SO MEAN TO HIS DAD
-J E R E M I A H B E N I C E H E S D O I N G H I S B E S T
-at least michaels worried
-“hey!!!”
-“will you be too cool for mmm,,” SLAPP “video games,,,?”
-(do dee do doooo)
-THE GAY
-“is it reaaallly true?” l e a n “im your faaaaavowite pewson?”
-JEREMY FLIPS HIM OFF J E R E M Y
-THE SHOULDER TOUCH
-T H E G A Y
-S L A P P
-the jump
-THE RUN
-DA N CE
-dont dance on those chairs tho ur gonna fall
-“TWO PLAYER GAYYYYYYYYYYYY”
-T H E H A N D S H A K E AJDJDJDJJD
-michael with his hood up
-how does this boy ever get his weed if hes like this
-“i like your sideburns” michael turns like wtf “wolverine, right?”
-“its from japaaaan”
-mike and jerm looking at each other
-MICHAELS FAKE COUGHING
-“ladies running shoes”
-“ATATATATATATA”
-“SHSHSHSHSHSHSHHHH”
-sniff
-“DONT MASTURBATE” jeremy sobs
-“take it with mountain dew I DONT KNOW WHY” HE POINTS AT MICHAEL AND MIXHAELS LIKE “WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO” HE HOLDA UP HIS HANDS DEFENSIVELY
-“WERE SOLD OUT” “of….. shoes??” “oh…. Oh Youre Here For Shoes” “,, payless,,,,” “my bad”
-a lovely pair of pumps
-“$401. dont forget the mountain dew” STEP STEP STEP STEP STEP STEP
-“i-i dont think thats how it works!” michael shut up you just dont trust it
-“how does it taste?” “,, minty” “uh how do you feel????”“ “like,,,,,,,,, a CHUMP”
-“try to say something cool!”
-“its like regular pepsi!!! ,,,,, JUST CLEAR!!!!!!”
-im going over this at school bc i wont remember when i get home and my friends watching with me and she just went “theres a lot of slapping”
-“SBARROS!!!”
-jeremy is so awkward
-HE FLOPS DOWN ON THE FLOOR
-the way he stands at “WAITWAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT”
-“AAAH!!! GAHAGHH!!!!!!!! AGAHAGHAAHAGHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

EGGPLANT PRESENTS:
T H E F I G U R E S K A T I N G E X P E R I E N C E™

youtube: vol. 1, vol. 2

a non-comprehensive playlist of definitive music and moments in the life of a modern skating fan

volume 1:
1.
isu fanfare - international skating union (0:28)
2.
chambermaid swing - parov stelar (5:44)
3.
spider-man theme - michael bublé (3:04)
4.
pchan raves about yuna - dj bijoux (3:30)
5.
YeeeEEEeeaaAAAAaaaHHH - adelina sotnikova 2012-13 “burlesque” FS (4:12)
6.
el tango de roxanne - moulin rouge soundtrack (4:43)
7.
oooooooh - 2016 4CC replay music (1:00)
8.
the sergei voronov experience™ - sergei voronov 2014-15 FS (4:41)
9.
HEY! YOU! - ilinykh/katsalapov 2012-13 “ghost” FD (0:32)
10.
feeling good - michael bublé (3:57)
11.
million voices (eh eh eh eh eh ah ah ah ah ah) - otto knows (5:57)
12.
ROAR - scott moir, 2013 worlds “carmen” FD (0:06)
13.
je suis malade - lara fabian (4:24)
14.
ICEBERG! RIGHT AHEAD! - jorik hendrickx 2015-16 “titanic” FS (4:47)
15.
i can’t dance - genesis (4:01)
16.
the all-purpose rach 2 cut - sergei rachmaninoff (4:12)
17.
LOCO LOCO LOCO - shoma uno 2016-17 “balada para un loco” FS (4:51)
18.
hard rock operatic bolero - fuji tv (1:13)
19.
the swag song - jusreign (3:28)
20.
sweet baby - andy hamilton, lena fiagbe, steve byrd (2:05)
21.
tatiana tarasova reacting to maxim kovtun - tatiana tarasova (0:12; source)

volume 2:
1.
isu fanfare - international skating union (0:28)
2.
dirty love - johnny weir (3:38)
3.
chimes/technologic - boyang jin 2015-16 EX (2:56)
4.
duetto buffo di due gatti (red cat) - giacomo rossini (3:19)
5.
bahamut - hazmat modine (3:19)
6.
legends (techno harmonicas) - sacred spirit (7:04)
7.
i finally found someone - barbra streisand, bryan adams (3:48)
8.
figga please - FiggaSk8ter (3:13)
9.
yo soy maria - astor piazzolla, horacio ferrer (3:21)
10.
lion king dubstep remix - max aaron 2016-17 FS (1:57)
11.
lonely (bad remix) - akon (3:56)
12.
cowboyang - boyang jin 2016-17 EX (3:04)
13.
my heart will go on (recorder cover) - matt mulholland (4:16)
14.
i put a spell on you - screamin’ jay hawkins (2:26)
15.
the phantom of the opera - kanako murakami 2014-15 FS (4:12)
16.
moondance - michael buble (4:12)
17.
romeo & juliet/the nutcracker remix - denis ten 2016-17 SP (2:56)
18.
sexbomb - tom jones (3:32)
19.
i believe i can fly/what is love - moris kvitelashvili 2015-17 SP (3:01)
20.
iphone ringtone (MetroGnome remix) - mark webster 2016-17 SP (3:19)
21.
#jotem - lara fabian (4:22)
22.
oh my god i hate this event - scott moir, 2012 WTT (0:04)

ANOTHER IMPORTANT POINT!!!

LOKI… omg Loki was P E R F E C T

FINALLY WE ARE SEEING THE HUGE DIVA HE IS AND HE ALWAYS SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! HE’S ALWAYS THAT LITTLE GREEDY PIECE OF SHIT BUT I THINK THAT HE HAS FINALLY REALIZED THAT HE’S NOT GONNA BE A KING SO HE’S JUST DEALING WITH IT AND BE THE RIGHT HAND MAN OF HIS BROTHER… FINALLY THEY’RE COLLABORATING AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I WANTED TO CRY I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!

Shit i hate people say/believe about Jeffrey Dahmer

  • Thinking they could change him by being a listening ear for him
  • Making him look like a misunderstood man who didn’t knew what he was doing
  • Him torturing animals
  • Believing that he didn’t had a choice and HAD to kill
  • Him being a racist
  • Believing that he did loved women when he was in prison because he sent them “"love”“ letters
  • Believing that he wouldn’t kill you because ‘you’re special’
  • "My pussy is so special it WILL make him straight”
  • Ignoring the fact that he raped and killed 2 14 years olds
  • T H E F A K E A S S P I C T U R E S
  • Thinking he would have been a fun guy to be with as a teenager (honestly, did you even thought about befriending the nerdy weird kid in your school?)
  • Finding it not selfish of him to kill innocent people just so he could have (temporary) company
  • Wanting him to be freed because he was handsome and mentally ill?????

Hate all u want, i’m spilling the truth.

What is Your Ticklish Name?

Put these three phrases together to find out your Ticklish Name, then reblog to share with the community!

First Letter of Your First Name

A = Unfathomably
B = Unbelievably
C = Extremely
D = Very
E = Very, Very
F = Very, Very, Very
G = Incredibly
H = Incomprehensibly
I = Too
J = Exquisitely
K = Abundantly
L = Ridiculously
M = Supremely
N = Hyper
O = Deathly
P = Wildly
Q = Way Too
R = Untouchably
S = Excruciatingly
T = Terribly
U = Horribly
V = Super
W = Quite
X = So
Y = Absurdly
Z = Most

Season You Were Born In
Spring = Ticklish
Summer = Sensitive
Autumn = Tender
Winter = Vulnerable

First Letter of Your Last Name
A = One
B = Girl/Boy/One* Who Can’t Be Touched
C = Man/Lady/One* Who Cannot Bear It
D = Hysterical Giggler
E = Child of Laughter
F = Little Lee
G = Panic-Stricken One
H = Screamer
I = Begger
J = Torturee
K = Gigglee
L = Thrasher
M = Master/Mistress/Maven* of Squirms
N = Fist-Pounder
O = Kicker
P = Master/Mistress/Maven* of Squeals
Q = Squealer
R = Shrieker
S = Pleader for Mercy
T = Toe Scruncher
U = Wriggler 
V = One Who Cannot Endure
W = One Who Simply Needs It To Stop
X = King/Queen/Royal Highness* of Silent Laughter
Y = Prince/Princess/Royal Highness* of Unbridled Hysteria
Z = Flincher

*Choose according to pronoun you prefer

jk drew the mirror of erised?????????

I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS and this is as close to canon potter and evans as i will ever, ever get so excuse me while i dissect the shit out of this

lily is so short omg jk you picture lily as shortish i love it oh my god LOOK AT HER and her kind fucking smile and hella amazing eyebrows LOOK AT HER. also she looks like marsha brady which i can get behind b/c marsha was pretty af and that is actually also lily?

james honnie that’s a damn fine jaw line 

i’m taking that as canon ok 

(ignoring the round glasses tho he was in hiding for 2 yrs his regular ones probs got eaten by the cat and he couldn’t go out and replace them)

M I S T E R P O T T E R IS TALLER THAN HIS SON AND THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER OH MY GOD I MIGHT DIE and he is bald on top and i love him

ALSO THE MAN IS IN PAJAMAS that match harry’s

and mrs potter is even smaller and she is just peeking around his shoulder and FUCKING LOOK AT THAT SHE WEARS PEARLS I KNEW IT

can we talk for a minute about who i am going to assume is mr and mrs evans because MR EVANS HAS A MUSTACHE BLESS HIM HE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD and much more respectable looking than i ever would’ve given him credit for i can’t

mrs evans. gma evans. she has GLASSES and a bad 70s perm, bless her. and she is waving her hanky at her grandson. CAN WE JUST SAY THAT SHE IS PROBABLY ON TIPTOES. waving her hanky because she is bawling her eyes out just like her daughter. because her baby’s baby.

anonymous asked:

III Want scenario where sidon ask his s/o out! Or ask her to marry him!!!!

MOD JAY ON THE MIC

Do You Wanna Date A Shark Man?

-The thing with royalty is that they’re often very formal. Sidon might be a bit of an adventurous, tradition-bucking Prince, but that’s not going to change the fact that he’s been told all his life that there’s only one right way to confess to someone and make sure it’s p e r f e c t.

-That way is a royal ball. Here’s the thing that makes the invitations so totally extra: there is no paper mill in Hyrule. Which means, in order to make sure that S/O gets the message, Sidon’s ordering hundreds of hours of work for royal workers and scribes o n l y to do the royal equivalent of ‘hey, so, um, you wanna go out sometime?’

-Thing is, Zora have their own language. So chances are, future S/O has no idea what this fuggn gold-embossed lettering even reads. They have to bring it to some expert in linguistics, probably the Princess herself, to take some time to tell them they’re invited to the flyest fix-up in all the ocean, ya dig? Zelda’s like, “bich goooooooooo I’ll take care of your farm and everything” S/O’s like, “yea gurl okay”

-So they go to this massive function that’s in an air pocket beneath the sea, and they’re like, confused as to why everyone goes silent when they go in.

-The big handsome sharkman that they keep flirting with is approaching them. No one else is moving. Why is no one else moving?

-He’s right in front of them. Everyone is watching. Hoe don’t do it.

-He gets on one knee.

-“S/O, I have something to confess to you… I’m… in love with you.”

-Oh mah God.

-S/O says yes, because of course they’re totally on board with shark-dating, he’s wonderful, even with the elements of politics that get involved. And yeah, there are days filled with lessons that are just about how to properly act when the prince’s consort-to-be, but then he makes it up to them with outings to the most beautiful reefs and waterfalls

-He gets on his knees one day, covered with bioluminescence, and S/O’s like, “Okay, I know what this is—”

-“S/O, will you marry me?”