r e s p e c t man

I got this Spanish chica, she don’t like me to roam
So she call me cabron plus marricon
Said she likes to cook rice so she likes me home
I’m like, “Un momento” - mami, slow up your tempo

I got this black chick, she don’t know how to act
Always talkin out her neck, makin her fingers snap
She like, “Listen Jigga Man, I don’t care if you rap
You better - R-E-S-P-E-C-T me”

I got this French chick that love to french kiss
She thinks she’s Bo Derek, wear her hair in a twist
My, cherie amor, t£ est belle
Merci, you fine as fuck but you givin me hell

I got this Indian squaw the day that I met her
Asked her what tribe she with, red dot or feather
She said all you need to know is I’m not a ho
And to get with me you better be Chief Lots-a-Dough

I got this young chick, she so immature
She like, “Why you don’t buy me Reeboks no more?”
Like to show out in public, throw tantrums on the floor
Gotta toss a couple dollars, just to shut up her holla

Got a project chick, that plays her part
And if it goes down y'all that’s my heart
Baby girl so thorough she been with me from the start
Hid my drugs from the NARCs, hid my guns by the parts

I got this model chick that don’t cook or clean
But she dress her ass off and her walk is mean
Only thing wrong with ma she’s always on the scene
God damn she’s fine but she parties all the time

I get frequent flier mileage from my stewardess chick
She look right in that tight blue dress, she’s thick
She gives me extra pillows and seat back love
So I had to introduce her to the Mile High Club

I got this paranoid chick, she’s scared to come to the house

A hypochondriac who says ouch before I whip it out

Got a chick from Peru, that sniff Peru
She got a cousin at customs that get shit through

Got this weedhead chick, she always catch me doin shit
Crazy girl wanna leave me but she always forgets

Got this Chinese chick, had to leave her quick’
Cause she kept bootleggin my shit

I got this African chick with Eddie Murphy on her skull
She like, “Jigga Man, why you treat me like animal?”
I’m like excuse me Ms. Fufu, but when I met your ass
you was dead broke and naked, and now you want half

I got this ho that after twelve million sold
Mami’s a narcolyptic, always sleepin on Hov’
Gotta tie the back of her head like Deuce Bigalow
I got so many girls across the globe..

2

home,” he whispered, needing to hear it aloud. it was a f o r e i g n concept to him, an i m p o s s i b l e dream. it was f r i g h t e n i n g and wonderful all at once, and it set his heart r a c i n g so fast he thought it’d drum out of his chest. 

“welcome home, neil.”

anonymous asked:

can you draw mystery's reaction to finding rex alone and crying, before he finds out that people have been mean to rex? i just want some p r o t e c t i v e m y s t e r e x a n g s t man

bonus:

masterlist | requests: open

p e t e r    p a r k e r »

identity - sick and tired of your best friend, peter, bailing on you for important school projects, you decide to give him a piece of your mind; only for things not to go exactly as planned.


tutoring sessions - knowing that you’re struggling with math and that peter has a crush on you, mj volunteers peter to tutor you, much to his dismay.

part one | part two | part three | part four 


dinner date -  peter’s first time meeting your parents


being next door neighbors with peter parker - cute headcanons of what it’d be like to live next to peter 


frustrating - best friends aren’t supposed to be thinking about kissing each other

under-wraps (sequel to frustrating) - strong feelings eventually have to be brought up to the surface


being lab partners with your crush peter - one word: N E R D S


storms - being a superhero can be kind of fun, unless peter parker becomes your babysitter (series???)

🕸

m i c h e l l e     j o n e s »  (a lot more coming soon)

dating mj headcanons - you and mj being boss ass bitches

🕸

n e d & p e t e r (platonic) »

being best friends with peter parker and ned leeds - three dorks in a friendship circle 

EGGPLANT PRESENTS:
T H E F I G U R E S K A T I N G E X P E R I E N C E™

youtube: vol. 1, vol. 2

a non-comprehensive playlist of definitive music and moments in the life of a modern skating fan

volume 1:
1.
isu fanfare - international skating union (0:28)
2.
chambermaid swing - parov stelar (5:44)
3.
spider-man theme - michael bublé (3:04)
4.
pchan raves about yuna - dj bijoux (3:30)
5.
YeeeEEEeeaaAAAAaaaHHH - adelina sotnikova 2012-13 “burlesque” FS (4:12)
6.
el tango de roxanne - moulin rouge soundtrack (4:43)
7.
oooooooh - 2016 4CC replay music (1:00)
8.
the sergei voronov experience™ - sergei voronov 2014-15 FS (4:41)
9.
HEY! YOU! - ilinykh/katsalapov 2012-13 “ghost” FD (0:32)
10.
feeling good - michael bublé (3:57)
11.
million voices (eh eh eh eh eh ah ah ah ah ah) - otto knows (5:57)
12.
ROAR - scott moir, 2013 worlds “carmen” FD (0:06)
13.
je suis malade - lara fabian (4:24)
14.
ICEBERG! RIGHT AHEAD! - jorik hendrickx 2015-16 “titanic” FS (4:47)
15.
i can’t dance - genesis (4:01)
16.
the all-purpose rach 2 cut - sergei rachmaninoff (4:12)
17.
LOCO LOCO LOCO - shoma uno 2016-17 “balada para un loco” FS (4:51)
18.
hard rock operatic bolero - fuji tv (1:13)
19.
the swag song - jusreign (3:28)
20.
sweet baby - andy hamilton, lena fiagbe, steve byrd (2:05)
21.
tatiana tarasova reacting to maxim kovtun - tatiana tarasova (0:12; source)

volume 2:
1.
isu fanfare - international skating union (0:28)
2.
dirty love - johnny weir (3:38)
3.
chimes/technologic - boyang jin 2015-16 EX (2:56)
4.
duetto buffo di due gatti (red cat) - giacomo rossini (3:19)
5.
bahamut - hazmat modine (3:19)
6.
legends (techno harmonicas) - sacred spirit (7:04)
7.
i finally found someone - barbra streisand, bryan adams (3:48)
8.
figga please - FiggaSk8ter (3:13)
9.
yo soy maria - astor piazzolla, horacio ferrer (3:21)
10.
lion king dubstep remix - max aaron 2016-17 FS (1:57)
11.
lonely (bad remix) - akon (3:56)
12.
cowboyang - boyang jin 2016-17 EX (3:04)
13.
my heart will go on (recorder cover) - matt mulholland (4:16)
14.
i put a spell on you - screamin’ jay hawkins (2:26)
15.
the phantom of the opera - kanako murakami 2014-15 FS (4:12)
16.
moondance - michael buble (4:12)
17.
romeo & juliet/the nutcracker remix - denis ten 2016-17 SP (2:56)
18.
sexbomb - tom jones (3:32)
19.
i believe i can fly/what is love - moris kvitelashvili 2015-17 SP (3:01)
20.
iphone ringtone (MetroGnome remix) - mark webster 2016-17 SP (3:19)
21.
#jotem - lara fabian (4:22)
22.
oh my god i hate this event - scott moir, 2012 WTT (0:04)

anonymous asked:

III Want scenario where sidon ask his s/o out! Or ask her to marry him!!!!

MOD JAY ON THE MIC

Do You Wanna Date A Shark Man?

-The thing with royalty is that they’re often very formal. Sidon might be a bit of an adventurous, tradition-bucking Prince, but that’s not going to change the fact that he’s been told all his life that there’s only one right way to confess to someone and make sure it’s p e r f e c t.

-That way is a royal ball. Here’s the thing that makes the invitations so totally extra: there is no paper mill in Hyrule. Which means, in order to make sure that S/O gets the message, Sidon’s ordering hundreds of hours of work for royal workers and scribes o n l y to do the royal equivalent of ‘hey, so, um, you wanna go out sometime?’

-Thing is, Zora have their own language. So chances are, future S/O has no idea what this fuggn gold-embossed lettering even reads. They have to bring it to some expert in linguistics, probably the Princess herself, to take some time to tell them they’re invited to the flyest fix-up in all the ocean, ya dig? Zelda’s like, “bich goooooooooo I’ll take care of your farm and everything” S/O’s like, “yea gurl okay”

-So they go to this massive function that’s in an air pocket beneath the sea, and they’re like, confused as to why everyone goes silent when they go in.

-The big handsome sharkman that they keep flirting with is approaching them. No one else is moving. Why is no one else moving?

-He’s right in front of them. Everyone is watching. Hoe don’t do it.

-He gets on one knee.

-“S/O, I have something to confess to you… I’m… in love with you.”

-Oh mah God.

-S/O says yes, because of course they’re totally on board with shark-dating, he’s wonderful, even with the elements of politics that get involved. And yeah, there are days filled with lessons that are just about how to properly act when the prince’s consort-to-be, but then he makes it up to them with outings to the most beautiful reefs and waterfalls

-He gets on his knees one day, covered with bioluminescence, and S/O’s like, “Okay, I know what this is—”

-“S/O, will you marry me?”

youtube

On this day in music history: May 20, 1967 - “Respect” by Aretha Franklin hits #1 on the Billboard R&B singles chart for 8 weeks, also topping the Hot 100 for 2 weeks on June 3, 1967. Written by Otis Redding, it is the second consecutive R&B chart topper for “The Queen Of Soul”. Written and originally recorded by R&B legend Otis Redding in 1965, Aretha Franklin’s version of “Respect” features members of the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section. It is one of the tracks cut during the week long sessions that produce Franklin’s debut album for Atlantic. Aretha’s version receives a dramatic rearrangement when it is recorded at Atlantic Studios in New York City on February 14, 1967. One of the significant changes made on Franklin’s version is in the songs instrumental break. Saxophonist King Curtis plays the solo using the chord changes from Sam & Dave’s hit “When Something Is Wrong With My Baby”. Aretha, along with her sisters Erma and Carolyn (also singing background vocals) come up with the signature “sock it to me” line as well as the refrain of “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” and the lines that follow including “take care, T-C-B” (street slang for “taking care of business”). Upon hearing Aretha’s version, Otis Redding is quoted as jokingly saying “That little girl done stole my song!”, recognizing that she had just recorded the definitive version of his song. The response to “Respect” is immediate when it begins receiving radio play as soon as the album “I Never Loved A Man The Way I Love You” is released on March 10, 1967. With the title track holding down the top spot on the R&B singles chart for eight weeks and reaching the top 10 on the pop chart, Atlantic holds off just long enough for the other single to have its moment to unleash the follow up. Entering the Billboard R&B singles chart at #19 on May 6, 1967, it pole vaults up the chart to #5 then #1, just narrowly succeeding herself in the top spot by one week. “Respect” takes a similar ascent up the Hot 100, entering the chart at #50 on April 29, 1967, it rockets to the top five weeks later. Its upward chart movement is so strong, that it temporarily bumps The Young Rascals’ “Groovin’” from the number one spot for two weeks. “Respect” earns Aretha Franklin the first Grammy Award given for Best R&B Vocal Performance, Female in 1968. It is the first of eleven times Franklin wins the award over the years, receiving it eight years in a row consecutively, making her the undisputed champ in that category. In the wake of the records huge success, it not only is adapted as a feminist anthem, but also as a rallying cry for the Civil Rights Movement. “Respect” is certified Gold in the US by the RIAA, and is inducted into the Grammy Hall Of Fame in 1998.

tom holland looking handsome & stylish AF in China is my aesthetic

best jacket collection goes to Tom Holland. he’s  P E R F E C T

jk drew the mirror of erised?????????

I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS and this is as close to canon potter and evans as i will ever, ever get so excuse me while i dissect the shit out of this

lily is so short omg jk you picture lily as shortish i love it oh my god LOOK AT HER and her kind fucking smile and hella amazing eyebrows LOOK AT HER. also she looks like marsha brady which i can get behind b/c marsha was pretty af and that is actually also lily?

james honnie that’s a damn fine jaw line 

i’m taking that as canon ok 

(ignoring the round glasses tho he was in hiding for 2 yrs his regular ones probs got eaten by the cat and he couldn’t go out and replace them)

M I S T E R P O T T E R IS TALLER THAN HIS SON AND THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER OH MY GOD I MIGHT DIE and he is bald on top and i love him

ALSO THE MAN IS IN PAJAMAS that match harry’s

and mrs potter is even smaller and she is just peeking around his shoulder and FUCKING LOOK AT THAT SHE WEARS PEARLS I KNEW IT

can we talk for a minute about who i am going to assume is mr and mrs evans because MR EVANS HAS A MUSTACHE BLESS HIM HE IS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD and much more respectable looking than i ever would’ve given him credit for i can’t

mrs evans. gma evans. she has GLASSES and a bad 70s perm, bless her. and she is waving her hanky at her grandson. CAN WE JUST SAY THAT SHE IS PROBABLY ON TIPTOES. waving her hanky because she is bawling her eyes out just like her daughter. because her baby’s baby.

anonymous asked:

Can I have some headcanons of Tim with a soc boyfriend?

-no one
-can say
-shit
-about it
-tim literally punched his own brother when curly said something about it
- “what next? you gonna bleach your hair and get a tie?”
-b a m! s ucker p unch in the f a c e
-for about the first week people would stare
-if they were walking in the streets together holding hands or doing something cute
-not because they were g a y
-but because it was Tim Shepard and a soc
-soon people grew used to it
- “oh look it’s Tim and that … guy?…”
- “is it Daniel? Darren? Derek?”
- “oh I forget man”
-they are honestly the power couple of the next five centuries let’s be honest
-Tim would throw some hands for this guy
-anyone says anything that pisses him off remotely Tim will pummel them back to 1864
- “hey watch where you’re going”
- “what the fresh f u ck did you say to him?!”
- “he…bumped into.. me?”
- “are you being fucking homophobic?!”
- “what?! no man!”
- “I think you fucking are”
- “I’m really not…”
- “what? you never seen a guy and a guy together?”
- “I’m done with this man…”
- “the hell you are!”
-b a m! s ucker p unch in the f a c e
-honestly there’s nothing tim wouldn’t do for him
-but
-not gonna lie
-they bicker
-a whole fucking lot
-about everything
-and I mean
-e v e r y t h i n g
- “I don’t get why I gotta wear this goddamn suit”
- “I t old you Tim. It’s my cousins’ sisters’ aunts’ second nieces’ wedding and I’m the fucking best man and you’re my date”
- “…”
- “…”
- “…”
- “I still don’t get why I gotta wear this goddamn suit”
-they’re also that couple that can’t settle on what to get for dinner
- “what do you want to eat?”
- “doesn’t matter”
- “pizza?”
- “nah”
- “burgers?”
- “not tonight”
- “want me to cook something?”
- “meh”
- “well what do you want?”
- “doesn’t matter”
-yeah…
-Tims a real softie when he’s with him
-we all know that
-he tells him just about everything
-he’s just happy to finally have found someone to just t a l k to
-good days, bad days, whenever
-he could tell him about his childhood and his past and everything bloody and dark and in between
-and his boyfriend wouldn’t flinch a centimeter
-he’ll just nod and listen and give him a soft kiss when he’s done
-sometimes Tim can’t even believe that they’re together himself
-he constantly double-checks
-just to be sure
- “that’s all over now Tim. I’m here now..”
- “yeah..really??”
- “really”

♡ Fluff ☆ Smut ✕ Angst  ⚓️ Ship ⎈ Alternate Universe ✓ Most Recent

Please note, masterlist includes works I have posted on my former writing blog.

K i m   S e o k j i n

 A Touch Of Pink - Drabble  

 Neighborhood Watch (Ft. Jungkook) ⚓️   

 When Fire Meets Water (Ft. Jungkook) ⚓️ 

M i n    Y o o n g i

→  Life Is But a Dream - Drabble ♡ 

J u n g   H o s e o k

→  coming soon!

K i m   N a m j o o n

 Pride & Prejudice ♡ ⎈ 

 Muse (Ft. Jimin) ⚓️ ♡ 

 Rental Contract 

 Mommy 

 Dipped in Ink 

 The Best Morning - Drabble ♡ 

P a r k   J i m i n

 Muse (Ft. Namjoon) ⚓️

 Obey 

K i m   T a e h y u n g

 Live a Little ♡ 

J e o n   J u n g k o o k

 Say It 

 Neighborhood Watch (Ft. Seokjin) ⚓️

 When Fire Meets Water (Ft. Seokjin)  ⚓️ 


S p e c i a l

 Cirque du Bangtan : A Carnival of Souls (Collaboration - Taegi/BTS) ⎈ 

S e r i e s

 The Butterfly Effect 

Pairing: Namjoon/Jimin
Genre: ABO Dynamics - Werewolf!AU, Actor!AU
Rating: Mature - ⚓️
Status: Completed
About: Kim Namjoon was no ordinary rising star, he was the star at the very top of the tree of fame. He was a man with a strict schedule, every moment of his life planned out immaculately. Park Jimin was a distant childhood friend in need of his protection - the only problem, he was a rare male omega, and also Namjoon’s mate. Will Namjoon be able to deal with a developing scandal, a career in trouble, and the advances of the mate that he is strictly prohibited from claiming? 

→  Harry Potter!AU Mini-Series