quoughts

Over these summer months
I have learned that
my favourite sounds are
the crackling of arbutus trees
The lapping of fresh water against
a private dock on which I’m not supposed to be
The hum of the tiniest birds’ wings
The screech of an owlet searching
for its mum (who tried to attack me.)
I’ve learned that
There is nothing more magical
than jumping off a boat at 11pm
into the icy sea,
only to be warmed by laughter & amazement
of tiny sea creatures glowing on our limbs
These summer months
I’ve learned that the two things that soothe me most,
Are movement and music
to calm my bones, brains, & heart

These summer months
Were the first time I didn’t get sunburnt
The first time I happily forgot
the last time I had a shower
And who needs an alarm clock
when you have Douglas squirrels for neighbours?

These summer months I’ve learned
That time is the paint in your palette;
friends are the brushes you use to
shape it.
And you.
You are the creator

I keep seeing posts about political things, or stuff going on in the world, that all conclude with “losing faith in humanity” or “I’ve lost faith in humanity.”

Why are you putting your faith in humanity in the first place? Have you looked at humanity? Humanity’s screwed up, sinful, broken. Hate, racism, slavery, sex-trafficking, homicide, rape … 

You put your faith in anything aside from God, and it will always let you down. 

I legitimately HATE the third wheel feeling. The worst part of it is that I don’t even know if it’s in my head or not, but standing around, trying to interact with a group of people, and I can’t help but think that everyone would be fine (or even happier) if I wasn’t hovering around. UGH insecurities are the worst.

there is nothing more disappointing than having a brainwave in the middle of the night about a new story, forcing yourself awake enough to jot it down, and then waking up the next morning and realizing how silly of an idea it really was.

We watched a video in human bio of a developing baby, and I dunno about you guys, but I don’t see how people can just write off our existence as random chance due to some big bang or whatever. Fearfully and wonderfully made seems pretty accurate to me. 

Problems of an introvert: I have these mental … limits of sorts. Where I can talk to people and be nice and be pretty content while doing it. But after a few weeks of consistent interactions, my mood slowly begins deteriorating and I just want everyone to go away. Since my job requires me to talk to people every day … well, this isn’t going to end well. 

first day of class is awful ugh how are you supposed to figure out who to sit next to by just looking at them? I mean, how can you tell who is evil and who might be good on projects? I think everyone needs floating words above their heads with their GPAs and interests. 

Quoughts

What is the difference between having a pet peeve and being neurotic?

Here’s the situation: my family has gotten more and more into the habit of calling me “Jess” instead of “Jesse.” At first, I didn’t even notice it.

And then I did. And now I can’t get it out of my head and it’s annoying me to death. So over the break I’ve insisted on them calling me Jesse. Am I being too nit-picky? I just don’t know.