There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.
—  John Lennon

i feel like something is missing. but i dont know what it is, thats my problem. i feel like there is an empty space in my heart, but i dont know what is missing. sometimes i feel lonely, like im floating through life and no one even realises im here, but i dont know why. i have everyone i need, my family, my friends, im happy with my life 98% of the time. but i also have this niggling thought in the back of my mind that something is missing and what im doing is wrong but i dont know what it is. that scares me. like ive lost control of my own life.
i feel like im running out of time, but i dont know what is being timed. my life is moving forward so fast, one minute i feel like a child again and the next i feel im running about 100miles a hour into adulthood.
to me, school is a safety net, i live in a little bubble of my family and school. i have no plans for the future, i know what i want, just not how to get it. i dont know what happens next and i think thats the worst part.
the future scares me, what if i fail my exams and cant have the life i dream of? they say everything happens for a reason but how can it? i should be able to control my own life.
im feeling all of these things but i dont know why, if i dont know why, who does? most of the time i think im ok, but sometimes i dont know what im doing or where im going and i suddenly feel like ive ran into a wall, like im being drowned by all of my worries and fears.