i feel like something is missing. but i dont know what it is, thats my problem. i feel like there is an empty space in my heart, but i dont know what is missing. sometimes i feel lonely, like im floating through life and no one even realises im here, but i dont know why. i have everyone i need, my family, my friends, im happy with my life 98% of the time. but i also have this niggling thought in the back of my mind that something is missing and what im doing is wrong but i dont know what it is. that scares me. like ive lost control of my own life.
i feel like im running out of time, but i dont know what is being timed. my life is moving forward so fast, one minute i feel like a child again and the next i feel im running about 100miles a hour into adulthood.
to me, school is a safety net, i live in a little bubble of my family and school. i have no plans for the future, i know what i want, just not how to get it. i dont know what happens next and i think thats the worst part.
the future scares me, what if i fail my exams and cant have the life i dream of? they say everything happens for a reason but how can it? i should be able to control my own life.
im feeling all of these things but i dont know why, if i dont know why, who does? most of the time i think im ok, but sometimes i dont know what im doing or where im going and i suddenly feel like ive ran into a wall, like im being drowned by all of my worries and fears.