6 Things I’ve learned from my break up’s
(1.) You can’t fucking fix people.
Sometimes we believe that when people are broken it is our job to fix them, but you can’t fix a broken person with another broken person. You can’t make yourself feel better or deserving of love by trying to make another person feel deserving of love by loving you.
People are not problems, they are not lumps of clay that you can mold and sculpt into whatever you desire. People are not welcoming to change. It takes the right person to make someone want to and no matter how hard you try sometimes that person just isn’t you.
(2.) It’s true what they say about being unhappy.
If you don’t feel the same about a person anymore or feel like you’re constantly looking for something you used to find in them in others all you need to do is leave. There is no point in staying with someone out of guilt, or loneliness or the feeling that you are trapped you are not. This is always been two sided. If you feel that they are not showing you the same effort and you are tired of being let down or making excuses as to why you are treated the way you are to others then leave. If you feel like you just don’t want the relationship anymore then leave, If you feel like you are just taking it day by day then leave. You are not just hurting them by staying and cheating or staying and waiting for a change you are hurting yourself, there is no need to keep a relationship if you feel that it has ran its course when the love just isn’t there anymore.
(3.) It is never wrong to put yourself first when you are the one hurting.
You should not ever feel guilty about leaving someone when the love is not the same for you anymore. You should never let yourself be sucked back into a relationship just because they’re tears were louder than your heart telling you that it was okay. It was not okay, you were not okay, you gave so much of your time to someone who thought it was a right to have it and not return it to you, you were not wrong. A relationship is an equal two people giving each other they’re time and love. There is no percentage of amounts of who gives who more because at the end of the day, how you’re feeling about them is what shows you how much you love them, not the numbers in your head or the times you counted them telling you “I love you” you are just as important, you matter. Your feelings matter. You are allowed to leave to better yourself.
(4.) People can’t be crutches.
People are not things to love when you are lonely. People are not things you can hold onto when you need something to release sexual tension. You can’t keep someone around for your pure pleasure when you know that they would almost do anything for you. You can’t keep someone around like that just to make you feel like you have power over them. That kind of hold on someone will blow up in your face and you will break, they will break, and they’re heart will break into a million pieces and that person will never be able to love the same way again. All you are doing is breaking a loyal person who wanted nothing more than to be loved by someone they thought put the stars in the sky.
(5.) Sometimes the “forever” you promised is just a number of days.
nothing is eternal unless it is meant to be and what is meant to be will always find it’s way, but sometimes it gets caught in a little detour along the way and people fall in love to learn lessons. I’ve learned my lesson. Seeing a future with someone can go one of two ways.
One, you either see a future together and you make it happen, Or two you see a future together and you fall in love with the idea of a future together. This is something I’ve fallen victim to, many times. Don’t feel discouraged that it didn’t happen. This is just another step closer to finding the real forever. Just remember you’re almost there.
(6.) Sometimes shit just doesn’t work out.
Relationships come and go, people find love everyday but just because it doesn’t work once doesn’t mean it never will. You don’t need anybody. You are independent, you are strong, and you are worthy of love. Remember to always keep your head high and you mind open, love will find you someday and when it does the wait will feel like just another amount of time that was worth all the heart break.